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February 21, 2013 By Castimonia

How Women Made Porn Fashionable

How women made porn fashionable
By Patrick Wanis
Published September 15, 2012
FoxNews.com

Porn is becoming a new ideal and value for young girls. And women are  responsible.

Women are consuming and endorsing porn such as ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ — a  book recognized as ‘mommy porn.’ Poorly written, it is not a how-to-manual and  it’s not poetic erotica.

Pulp/romance novels transformed into a new genre  embracing porn as literature – explicitly sexual scenes featuring  bondage/discipline, dominance/submission and sadism/masochism.

More than  20 million copies have sold in the US (40 million worldwide), and it is yet  another example of the way porn is becoming more than socially acceptable  amongst women. Moreover, it is becoming an aspirational target for women.

Women and the media have linked consuming porn or behaving like a  porn actress with instant money, fame, power, glamour, prestige, respectability  and social acceptability. In other words, if you become a porn actress or behave  like one, you will triumph with all of these things.

Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian became famous and rich for making a sex tape,  and they spun off empires of TV shows, fashion lines, perfumes and paid  appearances. The message is: one leads to the other. But it is women who made  Kardashian famous. And it is women who have become the fans and consumers of  everything Kardashian and books such as Fifty Shades of Grey.

Using sex  for money and fame, women have found a new way to feel powerful and secure  without a man or even necessarily a family – Octomom has openly become a porn  actress and stripper.

Mothers, too, are now sexualizing their daughters  and dressing them up as sexual candy for the world. Lindsay Jackson dressed her  5-year-old, Madisyn ‘Maddy’ Verst, in a sexy police uniform and a Dolly Parton  outfit complete with padded breasts and padded backside for a TV reality show.   And Jessica Simpson dressed her 4-month-old girl in bikinis.

Porn  could never have become mainstream and socially acceptable without the support  and endorsement by women. In human behavior, we call this ‘the law of frequency’ — the more often two things are linked, the more powerful that association  becomes until they become inseparable. And women and the media have linked  consuming porn or behaving like a porn actress with instant money, fame, power,  glamour, prestige, respectability and social acceptability. In other words, if  you become a porn actress or behave like one, you will triumph with all of these  things.

Accordingly, girls are more fascinated and driven by the desire  to become famous than they are to become an engineer, doctor or scientist: Kim  Kardashian has 14 million followers on Twitter.Thus, women are creating new  values and morality promoting money, power and glamour as more important than  intelligence, achievement, motherhood or contribution. Studies reveal that  female college students are more narcissistic than males. And teenage girls are  now also becoming fans of porn actors such as 26-year-old James Deen.

The paradox is that women are becoming more educated than men as women  surpass men in attendance and graduation rates – for every two men who get a  college degree, three women will do also. But, women are failing to realize the  dangers of falling for porn or promoting porn as the new fashionable profession  and path to fame, riches and glory. This is the antithesis of female empowerment  as MTV, Kim Kardashian and Octomom are teaching young girls to gain power over  men by using sex.

Women have now created false empty idols and have lost their real sense of  self-worth, value and significance, replacing it with fleeting pseudo-power and  artificial values and relationships, leaving them feeling unfulfilled and  unsatisfied.

I appeal to women to beware of being deceived and betrayed  into the world of porn and sexual objectification the same way that women were  tricked into smoking cigarettes in the 1920s.

In April 1929, a PR expert,  Edward Bernays, working for a US tobacco company, hired young models to march in  the New York City parade and alerted the press that they were fighting for  women’s rights by lighting “Torches of Freedom” as they lit up and smoked  cigarettes. The media publicized the event and it helped to break the taboo  against women smoking in public. In the same way, women today are using porn as  a misguided attempt to gain power and freedom, and to become more powerful and  independent. And they are only betraying and fooling themselves.

Pornography is much more than a moral or social issue.

Renowned  physicist, psychiatrist, and psychoanalyst Dr. Jeffrey Satinover says porn is “a  form of heroin, hundred times more powerful than before.” Forensic psychologist,  M. Douglas Reed and renowned pharmacologist Candace Pert reveal that pornography  is like a drug that triggers the brain to release a psychopharmacological flood  of “epinephrine, testosterone, endorphins (endogenous morphine), oxytocin,  dopamine, serotonin, and phenyethylamine,” which can lead to addiction and  various other behavioral disorders.

Gal Dines, professor of  sociology and women’s studies and chair of the American Studies Department at  Wheelock College in Boston, has written about and researched the porn industry  for over two decades. Professor Dines, author of “Pornland: How Porn Has  Hijacked Our Sexuality,” believes porn is a public health issue with documented  negative effects on young people, distorting “the way women and girls think  about their bodies, their sexuality and their relationships.”

Pornography  is equally damaging to adult relationships and social bonds – men are struggling  to develop close, intimate relationships with real women with some men now  preferring porn to sex with an actual human being.

Bottom line: porn does  not promote love or sex but rather cruelty and hatred to women, and so, while  women continue to endorse and make porn fashionable or a new ideal, they are  foolishly robbing themselves and undermining all of the positive strides and  triumphs they have made in their quest for equality.

Patrick Wanis, PhD, human behavior and relationship expert. For more  visit: www.patrickwanis.com. Follow  him on Twitter@behavior_expert.

Read more: http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2012/09/15/how-women-made-porn-fashionable/#ixzz26jUScXRd

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, affair, Affairs, anonymous sex partners, call girls, castimonia, christian, escorts, gratification, healing, human trafficking, Intimacy, lust, masturbation, porn, porn star, pornography, pornstars, prostitute, prostitutes, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sex partners, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, spouses, strippers, trauma

February 18, 2013 By Castimonia

Porn; The Sexification Of Young Women

Porn; The Sexification Of Young Women

Posted on September 16, 2012 by prevailing word ministries
Porn; The Sexification Of Young Women.

As a man gets older, he will engage in porn featuring younger and younger women. Many will cross the line in child pornography. The numbers are increasing of child porn sites.

Child porn is interconnected with child kidnapping and children human trafficking.

The last statistic that I was aware of was that there are over 100,000 child porn websites, and growing.

We know that in the United States, this is illegal and anyone engaging in any form of child porn is subject to the scrutiny of law enforcement. There are sophisticated ways that males will watch and download child porn which is highly disgusting and destroys a child for life.

But that is another subject.

In this article, you will note a couple of things.

One, women exercise power over men with their flesh and femininity.

And they know it.

Proverbs 6:23-25 says….

“For the commandment is a lamp, and the law a light; reproofs of instruction are the way of life, to keep you from the evil woman, from the flattering tongue of a seductress. Do not lust after her beauty in your heart, nor let her allure you with her eyelids.”

This is talking about women that sexified their looks to attract a weak willed, undisciplined male.

The prostitute and the sexual immoral women wait for the simple or gullible males that have no control over their sex lives. Married men that experience marital problems and search for a body to have sex with will throw aside all discipline just to have an orgasm.

Two, mothers that dress their young 5 year olds are “sexying up” their child and it is not the kind of thing mothers should be doing with their child. Mothers are also engaging in sexual immorality and this is just another form of teaching and training their child to view sex as a means of employment and feminine power over men.

Additionally, we see that mothers are also selling their daughters for a variety of means, which at the top of the list is for money.

Whether it is for the drug habit, to pay bills, it really doesn’t matter. It is the job of the mother to protect her child. Not sell her child.

This is nothing new because many women get their way through college, get promotions, and live lavish lifestyles as a high priced escort, street prostitution, and strip joints all across America. They also do work at truck stops along the interstate highways.

No different than the old testament forms of idolatry where sex was a part of the hedonistic idolatry ritual of their times.

Nothing new that it is happening in the church where the sexual immoral women come to church to seduce undisciplined males, both single and married. The continuing drama of sexual immorality in the church is raging and many pastors are not taking control of their sex lives.

In this article, from the media is a very powerful and compelling story of females entering the dangerous house of porn. There are many young females that are giving themselves over to this sinful industry. In some cases, because the economic conditions of our times is squeezing many females towards giving up their bodies to uncaring, violent men, little do they know about what awaits them.

Drugs, alcohol, STDs including HIV/AIDS, rape, 16 hour shoots with different men with well below minimum wage pay. Having watched my share of sexual slavery, males that perform are vicious. The sex industry lets the females be the star of the show. On the side lines are other males waiting to get at the star. It is no more than gang rape.

Mothers, do you really want your daughter to be a part of this ungodly industry?

After you read this article, it’s the same in the church and in the world in dealing with porn.

Masturbation is the only reason why a male or female watch porn.

Porn is just another place where, in private, a person gets off without being involved in a relationship. This is another form of fantasy sex that the devil has billions of people in bondage.

In a 24 hour period, 2.1 billion, to be exact, will download Internet porn.

Wives?

Can you trust your husband to tell you the truth? If you can’t find out why there is a disconnect. Why he is distant from you. When he doesn’t talk to you but could talk to everyone else. Wives, if he hasn’t touched you in weeks or months. Has a lot of FB female friends. And never gives you the time of day.

Porn is where he is. Masturbation is where he is. An adulterous affair is where he is.

If you are sexually addicted, just go back to my home page to find out how to break free, in Jesus’ name. It’s time for you to get right with God first, and then get right in your relationship with your wife.

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, affair, Affairs, anonymous sex partners, call girls, castimonia, child porn, child pornography, children, christian, Emotions, escorts, gratification, healing, human trafficking, Intimacy, lust, masturbation, porn, porn star, pornography, pornstar, prostitute, prostitutes, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sex partners, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, spouses, STD, strippers, trafficking, trauma

February 4, 2013 By Castimonia

Sometimes Your Husband is Not the Only One Who Needs Change

I will state that what works for some, does not work for others.  What worked for this spouse of a sex addict may or may not work in allowing God to heal the wounds created by the husband, so take what you like and leave the rest.  And husbands, don’t try to be the Holy Spirit and use this example on your wife, allow the Holy Spirit to guide your wives to their own healing.

Sometimes your husband is not the only one who needs change..

Sometimes your husband is not the only one who needs change.
February 2, 2013 by Amy

A couple of years ago I lived in a very different world. My world was full of hurt and betrayal. I tried all manner of things to ease the pain but nothing worked. I was hopeless. I remember one particular day when I called a family member to vent. I was ready to move on, to get a fresh start.  I let it all out:

I don’t deserve this! I don’t want this to be my life! I deserve to be loved and treated well!  I deserve to be happy. I’m not going to waste my whole life waiting for someone else to change. I deserve better than this!

Having had the opportunity to talk to many women who have been or who currently are in similar situations I know these feelings are not unique. I also know that just because the majority of people feel this way doesn’t make it right.

Today as I think upon those feelings and the words I used to express my pain I cringe.  I see how selfish and prideful I was.

With all that was happening to me by the actions of my husband it never dawned on me that there was anything about me that needed to change.  The idea that I was just as lost as Chad not only never crossed my mind but made made me angry to hear it suggested.  And here’s the kicker:  Do I really have the right to demand happiness, comfort, peace and love? At that time I believed I did. I had bought into the lie that suggests a Christian will always be happy, that trials, at least not big ones, will not come my way.   My idea of being a Christian looked more like the world’s ways than Jesus’ way (Phil 2:7-8).

It wasn’t until I began a bible study with a dear christian woman that the idea of not having rights surfaced.   I balked! Don’t tell me that, I thought. I’m not going to be a doormat for others to walk all over. Most certainly not my husband! It set me back and it took a while for God’s word to speak reassuring truth to my soul.

What I learned is that trouble is promised to us. We aren’t promised comfort and security but we are promised that God will be with us through the fire. We aren’t told that he will always keep us out of it. This simple truth transformed my life.

So here I was learning that I didn’t have rights and that I was just as selfish and prideful as Chad. His pride played out in a very different way, but I was just as prideful. His selfishness was out there for all to see, but I was very selfish in ways that others didn’t notice as much. I began to see my great need for God. I began, not to cry out for my marriage to be saved, or for happiness, but for God to save me from myself. I prayed and still pray for God to show me my heart and my desires as He sees them. When He reveals the way that He sees my wants and desires I can do nothing but fall at His feet and cry for mercy.

Once I began to focus on God and on my need for Him my troubles didn’t overwhelm me as they did before. I had a glimpse of my Savior and how great He is and how small I am. My life became less about pleasing myself as I began to strive to please my God and in doing that, the troubles I faced gave me greater opportunities to please my Lord. It’s during those times of trial that the rubber meets the road. Do you really believe God is with you? Suffering and trouble will show you. I am in no way perfect. I still struggle with seeing things the way I should. There are times that I have to stop myself and remind myself that my comfort and my happiness is not paramount. God is using hard days and realizations of my sinfulness to draw me to Him.

Will you allow God to speak to you through your trials? Will you praise God despite your pain? Will you honor the Lord in suffering with grace and obedience? Those are my goals. I believe if we do this it will not only help us through our trouble but most importantly it will please our Lord!

God give us the eyes to see our hearts as you see them and the ears to hear your still small voice when trouble is roaring all around us!

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, affair, Affairs, anonymous sex partners, call girls, castimonia, Character Defects, Emotions, escorts, father wound, gratification, healing, human trafficking, Intimacy, Jesus Christ, lust, masturbation, porn, porn star, pornography, pornstar, pornstars, prostitute, prostitutes, ptsd, purity, recovery, resentment, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sex partners, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, spouses, STD, strippers, trafficking, trauma

January 28, 2013 By Castimonia

Sexy Toys and Clothes: Priming Our Kids for Porn and Pedophiles

Sexy Toys and Clothes: Priming Our Kids for Porn and Pedophiles

Posted on September 14, 2012 by Kristen Jenson at http://pornoculation.com/2012/09/14/sexy-toys-and-clothes-priming-our-kids-for-porn-and-pedophiles

“She’ll show off a little sass wearing this sparkly sequin graphic tee from Stardoll.”

Huh? Children’s brains are not naturally programed for sexuality, but you wouldn’t know that by some of the clothes young children are wearing.  I’m not sure why any mom wants her 7 year old daughter to wear a sequin shirt with big pouty red lips, but I am sure it’s part of a broader cultural trend that is sexualizing our young children via clothing and toys.

Cultural trends can be so incremental, that we may not recognize them. We may adopt them without thinking, which is why looking back in history is so important. But I digress…

I found these “Monster High” dolls on the Toy’s R Us website. Here’s Draculaura, dressed in fishnet tights, high heel boots and a mini-skirt. Little pink hearts are scattered around, too. Really pretty disturbing when you think that little girls are playing with these dolls. The spring break doll was equally sexualized, if not more so.

My rule of thumb: if you don’t want your daughter to wear it, don’t let her dolls wear it either. Because there may be “unintended consequences.” Kids mimic everything–they are hardwired to do that.

But here’s another problem with dressing our kids in “sexy” clothes:

Sexy kid’s clothing may also invite unwanted attention from a pedophile.

I know that sounds extreme, but not to expert criminal profiler, police trainer and author Deborah Schurman-Kauflin, Ph.D. who makes this case in a September 2011 Psychology Today article entitled “Porn for Pedophiles: ‘Sexy Children’ on Parade.” She begins by describing the child beauty pageant shows which feature very young children dressed up “in bikinis, mini dresses, and other revealing clothing. The girls are then prodded to dance around like mini-strippers. Both moms and dads call to their girls to shake their hips and strike sexy poses.”

But it gest worse. Dr. Schurman-Kauflin asserts that child molesters watch these shows to get their kicks and explains that the typical pedophile studies a child from a distance before they strike. She goes on to advise parents:

“Unfortunately, we live in a time where we have to be watchful. It is not a good idea to sexualize your children. If you do it, don’t be surprised when others see your child as a sex object. To the predator, this is an invitation…Monsters are out there…Wouldn’t it be better to allow your child to be a child than to turn her into a target?”

Children are not sexual beings. If we want to avoid priming our children for pornography or making them a target for a pedophile, we need to carefully select their clothing and toys to give them a childhood free from sexualization. Then we must warn them in an age-appropriate way to turn away from sexualized images. It’s a tall order, but I believe it can be done.

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, affair, Affairs, anonymous sex partners, call girls, castimonia, Character Defects, child abuse, child sexual abuse, childhood sexual abuse, children, christian, Emotions, escorts, father wound, gratification, healing, human trafficking, Intimacy, lust, masturbation, porn, porn star, pornography, pornstar, pornstars, prostitute, prostitutes, ptsd, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sex partners, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, STD, strippers, trauma

January 25, 2013 By Castimonia

Video – Bernie’s Story

Bernie and his wife share their story

Adventist pastors (or pastors of any faith) aren’t supposed to be addicted to pornography. Yet several years ago, Bernie Anderson found himself in this uncomfortable spot. Learn how God took Anderson’s recipe for disaster and turned it into a powerful healing ministry. Currently Anderson serves as Lead Pastor of the Wasatch Hills Seventh-day Adventist Church in Salt Lake City, UT.

(Winner of SONscreen’s 2011 Best Professional Film Award)

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts, Videos Tagged With: addiction, affair, Affairs, alcohol, anonymous sex partners, call girls, castimonia, christian, Emotions, escorts, father wound, gratification, healing, human trafficking, Intimacy, lust, masturbation, meeting, porn, porn star, pornography, pornstar, pornstars, prostitute, prostitutes, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sex partners, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, spouses, strippers, trauma

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Castimonia Restoration Ministry, Inc. is a 501c3 non-profit organization


This site is intended for individuals who struggle with maintaining sexual purity. This information is posted for individuals at various stages in their recovery, year 1 to year 30+; what applies to some, may not apply others. Spouses are encouraged to read this blog with the caveat that they may not agree with, understand, or know the reason for some items posted. As always, take what you like and leave the rest.

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