Posts Tagged ‘masturbation’

Of all the content we have posted on, these read journal entries are some of the most powerful.  Please take a few minutes to listen to these.

I am a Christian and a sex addict. This is my Journal through Recovery as it happens. I will expand on my written journals and provide a verbal account of every step of my experience. Join me each episode as I share my thoughts, feelings, and even some learnings as they happen.

As an addict, I am new to intimacy. These episodes are part of my recovery, part of building intimacy, part of sharing my story. I hope you find something in my experience that is of benefit to you in your own journey.

Take what you like and leave the rest.

Discovery is that moment when it all comes out. It happens differently for everyone. Discovery for me was the moment when I had to come face to face with the impact of my deception. It was when I couldn’t manipulate my spouse or hide what I had been doing anymore. This episode is the story of my discovery and how I reached a crossroads on whether to stay in my addiction or move forward into recovery.

Recovery requires a schedule. That is what I am finding. A rhythm. A cadence. Whatever word you like. One day at a time is the mantra I hear in meetings. And each day has a schedule and a structure.

My days start at 5:45 am spending time reading my Bible. I joined a men’s Bible study through my church. I tried a few out until I found this one. I like it. We are going through 1 Timothy right now. Only about 10 verses at a time. We are going in-depth and the study takes about 20 minutes each day. I have never studied the Bible like this. It is starting to make sense to me. I see what others have meant about scripture coming alive.

I drive to work. My commute is usually about 45 minutes. I spend most of the drive in prayer but different prayer. I try and have a conversation with God. If I am going to know Him personally, I need to talk to him like a person. So I do. I tell Him how thankful I am for revealing truth to me every day. I talk to him about my struggles, my worries, my anxieties and my recovery. I thank Him for my wife and ask Him to keep healing her.  And I whine some, too. Recovery is hard. It sucks some days. I know He knows this, but I am practicing rigorous honesty!

I schedule my time at work. I don’t do well with empty, unplanned time. That’s when I find myself zoning out, searching the internet, not focused. My mind without focus is where my addiction lives. I don’t want to go there again. So, I schedule my time. I keep my priorities on my white board so I don’t lose sight of them. My counselor pointed out there is a dividing line from alone time to isolating. I don’t want to cross that line.

At lunch, I write my story or I text my recovery friends. My accountability partners. I say hello to my wife if she has time. I go for a walk outside and listen to a podcast or a recovery book on Audible or I listen to my recovery music playlist.

I leave work on time. I don’t find reasons to stay late, to avoid my family, to not go home. I have a call with an accountability partner on the way home, or I listen to a podcast or I just listen to recovery music until I get home. I check in with my wife to let her know when I leave and make sure she knows where I am.

I come in and see my wife and my children. I catch up with them about their day, what is happening, what is important to them. I stay engaged in their lives, stay present. We have dinner together if we are all there, but at the very least I get to spend some time with my wife catching up. Depending on the day, I may go to a recovery meeting (usually 3 or 4 per week).

When I get back home, my wife and I spend some time doing our intimacy exercises, talking about our feelings, what we love about each other, and we pray for each other after we read a devotion together.

My days and weeks are structured, simple, focused. Not chaotic. My addict thrives on chaos and uncertainty. This clarity and structure is new. I am thankful for it. I am thankful for the focus on what is important: to my God, my wife, my children and to me. In that order. This is new…and its recovery. And I just want it to be my life.

Originally posted at:
by altruistico

The Bible mentions two specific types of fear. The first type is beneficial and is to be encouraged. The second type is a detriment and is to be overcome. The first type of fear is fear of the Lord. This type of fear does not necessarily mean to be afraid of something. Rather, it is a reverential awe of God; a reverence for His power and glory. However, it is also a proper respect for His wrath and anger. In other words, the fear of the Lord is a total acknowledgement of all that God is, which comes through knowing Him and His attributes.

Fear of the Lord brings with it many blessings and benefits. It is the beginning of wisdom and leads to good understanding (Psalm 111:10). Only fools despise wisdom and discipline (Proverbs 1:7). Furthermore, fear of the Lord leads to life, rest, peace, and contentment (Proverbs 19:23). It is the fountain of life (Proverbs 14:27) and provides a security and a place of safety for us (Proverbs 14:26).

Thus, one can see how fearing God should be encouraged. However, the second type of fear mentioned in the Bible is not beneficial at all. This is the “spirit of fear” mentioned in 2 Timothy 1:7: “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind” (NKJV). A spirit of fearfulness and timidity does not come from God.

However, sometimes we are afraid, sometimes this “spirit of fear” overcomes us, and to overcome it we need to trust in and love God completely. “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love” (1 John 4:18). No one is perfect, and God knows this. That is why He has liberally sprinkled encouragement against fear throughout the Bible. Beginning in the book of Genesis and continuing throughout the book of Revelation, God reminds us to “Fear not.”

For example, Isaiah 41:10 encourages us, “Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.” Often we fear the future and what will become of us. But Jesus reminds us that God cares for the birds of the air, so how much more will He provide for His children? “So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows” (Matthew 10:31). Just these few verses cover many different types of fear. God tells us not to be afraid of being alone, of being too weak, of not being heard, and of lacking physical necessities. These admonishments continue throughout the Bible, covering the many different aspects of the “spirit of fear.”

In Psalm 56:11 the psalmist writes, “In God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?” This is an awesome testimony to the power of trusting in God. Regardless of what happens, the psalmist will trust in God because he knows and understands the power of God. The key to overcoming fear, then, is total and complete trust in God. Trusting God is a refusal to give in to fear. It is a turning to God even in the darkest times and trusting Him to make things right. This trust comes from knowing God and knowing that He is good. As Job said when he was experiencing some of the most difficult trials recorded in the Bible, “Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him” (Job 13:15 NKJV).

Once we have learned to put our trust in God, we will no longer be afraid of the things that come against us. We will be like the psalmist who said with confidence “…let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may rejoice in you” (Psalm 5:11).


Recovery is known for having a whole host of clichés that are passed around. Many are deep nuggets of wisdom buried inside an easy to remember saying. While some may seem trivial, they often have a deep truth to be explored.

Jorge and Doug discuss many of the clichés found in recovery. Most have roots in AA, but some are specific to those in Sex Addiction recovery.

Let us know if any of these clichés help you at

Not Biblically accurate but gets to the heart of the matter.


Powerful video for those of us who used sex workers to feed our sexual sin.  I hope this sheds some light on the problem and that we think of this beautiful child of God the next time we think about acting out.  She’s somebody’s daughter, remember that.

Originally posted at:
by altruistico

The Hebrew and Greek words translated “compassion” in the Bible mean “to have mercy, to feel sympathy and to have pity.” We know that, according to the Bible, God is “a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness” (Psalm 86:15). Like all of God’s attributes, His compassion is infinite and eternal. His compassions never fail; they are new every morning (Lamentations 3:22-23).

Jesus Christ, the Son of God, exemplified all of the Father’s attributes, including His compassion. When Jesus saw His friends weeping at the grave of Lazarus, He felt compassion for them and wept alongside them (John 11:33-35). Moved with compassion for the suffering of others, Jesus healed the large crowds who came to Him (Matthew 14:14), as well as individuals who sought His healing (Mark 1:40-41). When He saw the large crowds as sheep without a shepherd, His compassion led Him to teach them the things the false shepherds of Israel had abandoned. The priests and scribes were proud and corrupt; they despised the common people and neglected them, but Jesus had compassion on them, and He taught and loved them.

When asked what was the greatest commandment, Jesus responded that it is to love God with all our heart, mind and strength. But He added that the second commandment “is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself’” (Matthew 22:34-40). The Pharisee had asked Him which single command of God is the greatest, but Jesus provided two, stating not only what we are to do, but also how to do it. To love our neighbor as ourselves is the natural result of our loving devotion toward God.

First John 3:17 asks, “If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need, but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him?” Originally made in His image, man is to exemplify God’s traits, including compassion. From this it follows that “If anyone says, ‘I love God’ yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen” (1 John 4:20). The Bible is clear that compassion is an attribute of God and of God’s people as well.