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Sexy Toys and Clothes: Priming Our Kids for Porn and Pedophiles

Sexy Toys and Clothes: Priming Our Kids for Porn and Pedophiles

Posted on September 14, 2012 by  at http://pornoculation.com/2012/09/14/sexy-toys-and-clothes-priming-our-kids-for-porn-and-pedophiles

“She’ll show off a little sass wearing this sparkly sequin graphic tee from Stardoll.”

Huh? Children’s brains are not naturally programed for sexuality, but you wouldn’t know that by some of the clothes young children are wearing.  I’m not sure why any mom wants her 7 year old daughter to wear a sequin shirt with big pouty red lips, but I am sure it’s part of a broader cultural trend that is sexualizing our young children via clothing and toys.

Cultural trends can be so incremental, that we may not recognize them. We may adopt them without thinking, which is why looking back in history is so important. But I digress…

I found these “Monster High” dolls on the Toy’s R Us website. Here’s Draculaura, dressed in fishnet tights, high heel boots and a mini-skirt. Little pink hearts are scattered around, too. Really pretty disturbing when you think that little girls are playing with these dolls. The spring break doll was equally sexualized, if not more so.

My rule of thumb: if you don’t want your daughter to wear it, don’t let her dolls wear it either. Because there may be “unintended consequences.” Kids mimic everything–they are hardwired to do that.

But here’s another problem with dressing our kids in “sexy” clothes:

Sexy kid’s clothing may also invite unwanted attention from a pedophile.

I know that sounds extreme, but not to expert criminal profiler, police trainer and author Deborah Schurman-Kauflin, Ph.D. who makes this case in a September 2011 Psychology Today article entitled “Porn for Pedophiles: ‘Sexy Children’ on Parade.” She begins by describing the child beauty pageant shows which feature very young children dressed up “in bikinis, mini dresses, and other revealing clothing. The girls are then prodded to dance around like mini-strippers. Both moms and dads call to their girls to shake their hips and strike sexy poses.”

But it gest worse. Dr. Schurman-Kauflin asserts that child molesters watch these shows to get their kicks and explains that the typical pedophile studies a child from a distance before they strike. She goes on to advise parents:

“Unfortunately, we live in a time where we have to be watchful. It is not a good idea to sexualize your children. If you do it, don’t be surprised when others see your child as a sex object. To the predator, this is an invitation…Monsters are out there…Wouldn’t it be better to allow your child to be a child than to turn her into a target?”

Children are not sexual beings. If we want to avoid priming our children for pornography or making them a target for a pedophile, we need to carefully select their clothing and toys to give them a childhood free from sexualization. Then we must warn them in an age-appropriate way to turn away from sexualized images. It’s a tall order, but I believe it can be done.

5 thoughts on “Sexy Toys and Clothes: Priming Our Kids for Porn and Pedophiles”

    1. Start little by little as they become curious. When my oldest daughter walked in on my wife and I in the shower together (not being sexual, just showering), she started to freak out. We sat down with her an in an age appropriate way, normalized the behavior of a husband and wife being naked together, without shame, without condemnation. Kids should understand (in age appropriate ways) that sex is not a negative thing. God created it, and it is good. Man, however, has made sex into something perverse. It is up to the parents to inform the child that sex between a husband and wife is good, and not look at sex as sinful or bad. This will lead them to shame and guilt later on.

      Always use age-appropriate language. A 5 year old needs a short, quick explanation, a 10 year old, a bit more, a 15 year old a lot more.

      The best advice I’ve heard is to speak openly about it when the issue arises and not to make sex into a bad thing. Also, don’t just wait to have one talk about it. Do it in small bits over the course of the child’s life.

      Now, we haven’t had the sex talk, but we have mentioned certain things about mommy and daddy and loving each other. We’ll get there, in small segments, in age appropriate language.

      1. Great. This is very good advice. I guess my dad shunned the thought of taking about sex to me as good in marriage. Rather, he focused on the wrong in sex. After I got married, it was a struggle before I realised that sex is not a sin in marriage.

      2. My father only spoke to me about sex one time and that was when I was about 14 or 15. It was a 30 second conversation about masturbation and that it was “ok” as long as I didn’t abuse it. No other discussion before or after. I believe that he was so ashamed of his own sexual impurity that he could not be open and honest about sex. I learned about sex from hardcore pornographic movies and magazines starting at age 4….

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