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This Is How You Change The World

Originally posted at: http://thoughtcatalog.com/%tc-coauthor%/2016/08/this-is-how-you-change-the-world/

by: Becca Martin

You change the world by being kind and empathetic. You change the world by being honest and by being compassionate. You change the world by giving without looking for a return. You change the world by doing the right thing and by being yourself. You change the world by finding a passion and pursing it. You change the world by being generous, forgiving and authentic.

You change the world by being kind to everyone you encounter, regardless of their skin color, race, religious beliefs and social or economic status. You treat the homeless man sitting outside your office with the same kindness you treat your coworkers with. You don’t judge people on their stories and their backgrounds. They might have made a few wrong decisions to end up where they are today, but everyone makes wrong decisions, but most of us are lucky enough to have people to help us fix them. You don’t act like you know their stories, but you’d be willing to listen. You’d be willing to ask how they’re doing and wait for a real answer. You wouldn’t make assumptions or belittle anyone, you would wish them the best and let them know you care.

You change the world by being honest and compassionate. You don’t lie your way out of things. You don’t place blame on someone else to save your own ass. You own your mistakes and you try to be as honest as possible because the world doesn’t need anymore liars and people throwing each other under the bus. The world needs more honest people that aren’t afraid to admit when they messed up. The world needs more people who care about how others feel instead of just being concerned with themselves. The world needs your honesty and the world needs your heart.

You change the world by giving without expecting anything in return. You find a organization you’re passionate about and you help them, you volunteer your time and you donate when you can. You don’t do it because you’re looking for a reward out of it, you do it because it’s the right thing to do and because you’ve been so blessed in this life time that it’s only right you give back. You give without expecting because once you start expecting things the reasoning behind the good you’re doing becomes corrupt.

You change the world by doing the right thing and being yourself. You change the world by standing tall in what you believe in and supporting that cause. You do what is right, you don’t act with violence or out of anger, and you act with kindness and with love in your heart. You dedicate time to find who you are and by being yourself you know what you believe in. You know what you’re passionate about and believe in those values. Do what is best for you, don’t be influenced by other’s decisions, find your thing and make your mark.

You change the world by finding your passion and pursing it. You change the world by being yourself and dedicating time into what you love. You change the world by pursing your passion and inspiring one person or a million people to follow their dreams, as well. You show others that it is possible if you put your mind to it. You should other’s how amazing life is when you do what you love everyday and they should never strive for anything less. You change the world by believing in what you do and doing it with all your heart.

You change the world by being generous, forgiving and authentic. You change the world by not being greedy. You help a friend when a friend is in need. You donate to a cause that you know will help those who need it. You give up your seat on the tram to the older woman who is standing. You pack an extra lunch for the homeless man outside your office. You change the world by thinking of other people besides yourself.

You change the world by not holding grudges and forgiving those who might not deserve it. You forgive them not for the sake of them, but the sake of yourself. You forgive them so you can move on and find peace.

You change the world by being authentic and not pretending to live perfectly inside a glass house. You inspire others when you’re honest and when you’re raw. You humanize yourself when you stop posting pictures of perfect beaches and the flawless smoky eye. You become real when you are authentic, when you stop trying to make the world think you’re perfect through the lens of a camera.

You change the world when you become the best version of yourself. It might take time; it might take the earth breaking you in order for you to grow bigger and better. It might take inspiration from someone important to you in order for you to see the bigger picture, but it is possible. It is possible to change the world, but in order to change the world you have to start by being the change.

Change the world one day at a time, one decision at a time. Rome wasn’t built in a day and the world can’t be saved in a day, but you can start changing the world by being the best version of yourself possible.  Be the change, I believe in you.

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“Chronic early-life stress, such as childhood neglect, often results in anxiety and affective disorders and increased probability of drug and alcohol abuse in adulthood…”

Full article for purchase at: http://www.nature.com/npp/journal/v41/n9/full/npp201621a.html

“…the mesolimbic dopamine (DA) system may have an integral role in the pathophysiology associated with childhood stress. Unfortunately, while many human and animal studies have documented profound disruptions of DA signaling associated with a wide range of chronic early-life stressors…”

“The nucleus accumbens (NAc) is known to have a critical role in motivated behaviors and reward seeking via modulation of DA levels. Additionally, the NAc is implicated in the modulation of stress and anxiety like negative affective behaviors. Kappa opioid receptors (KORs) are located presynaptically on DA terminals and suppress DA release in the NAc…Previous data suggest that exposure to chronic stress, such as repeated withdrawal from chronic intermittent ethanol (CIE) exposure, leads to prolonged activation of KORs, possibly contributing to reduced DA function, which is positively correlated with negative affect.”

Early-Life Social Isolation Stress Increases Kappa Opioid Receptor Responsiveness and Downregulates the Dopamine System
Anushree N Karkhanis, et. al. – Neuropsychopharmacology (2016), 1–12

Early-Life Social Isolation Stress Increases Kappa Opioid Receptor Responsiveness and Downregulates the Dopamine System

Anushree N Karkhanis, Jamie H Rose, Jeffrey L Weiner and Sara R Jones

Chronic early-life stress increases vulnerability to alcoholism and anxiety disorders during adulthood. Similarly, rats reared in social isolation (SI) during adolescence exhibit augmented ethanol intake and anxiety-like behaviors compared with group housed (GH) rats. Prior studies suggest that disruption of dopamine (DA) signaling contributes to SI-associated behaviors, although the mechanisms underlying these alterations are not fully understood. Kappa opioid receptors (KORs) have an important role in regulating mesolimbic DA signaling, and other kinds of stressors have been shown to augment KOR function. Therefore, we tested the hypothesis that SI-induced increases in KOR function contribute to the dysregulation of NAc DA and the escalation in ethanol intake associated with SI. Our ex vivo voltammetry experiments showed that the inhibitory effects of the kappa agonist U50,488 on DA release were significantly enhanced in the NAc core and shell of SI rats. Dynorphin levels in NAc tissue were observed to be lower in SI rats. Microdialysis in freely moving rats revealed that SI was also associated with reduced baseline DA levels, and pretreatment with the KOR antagonist nor-binaltorphimine (nor-BNI) increased DA levels selectively in SI subjects. Acute ethanol elevated DA in SI and GH rats and nor-BNI pretreatment augmented this effect in SI subjects, while having no effect on ethanol-stimulated DA release in GH rats. Together, these data suggest that KORs may have increased responsiveness following SI, which could lead to hypodopaminergia and contribute to an increased drive to consume ethanol. Indeed, SI rats exhibited greater ethanol intake and preference and KOR blockade selectively attenuated ethanol intake in SI rats. Collectively, the findings that nor-BNI reversed SI-mediated hypodopaminergic state and escalated ethanol intake suggest that KOR antagonists may represent a promising therapeutic strategy for the treatment of alcohol use disorders, particularly in cases linked to chronic early-life stress.

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One Simple Thing You Can do to Protect Your Marriage

Originally posted at: https://drlorischade.wordpress.com/2016/07/22/one-simple-thing-you-can-do-to-protect-your-marriage/

I was on a hike with another couple a few nights ago, and the husband asked me to identify the number one thing I would tell people to keep their marriages strong.  I’m not usually asked to reduce marital tips down to one dimension, but I was intrigued by the challenge.  I thought for a minute and realized I had a definite answer, informed by the cases I have had over the last 5 years.

“I would say,” I replied, “To realize that when you are texting someone, you are in essence entering a private room with that person.”  I’m expanding on the image here.  The room has no windows.  The social response is in real time, so it is as if you are right next to the person having an actual conversation.  If you text daily, you are entering that room daily.  If you text on and off all day long, you are in that room most of the day.  Everyday.

I see a lot of infidelity cases.  One hundred percent of them in the last few years have all developed through texting.  In most cases, a romantic interest did not precede the texting relationship.  Most of them started in a benign way between co-workers, church members working together on projects, neighbors and best friends of the couple.  Here’s the typical developmental course (IMHO):

  1. Begin texting to communicate practical information.
  2. Increase frequency of texting, still to communicate practical information.
  3. Add a joke to your text, making it more conversational in nature.
  4. Get a response to your joke, and continue the playful banter.
  5. Feel a positive chemical boost after a text exchange.
  6. Find yourself checking your phone to see if the person texted.
  7. Realize that you are starting to look forward to getting texts from that person.
  8. Tell yourself that since you aren’t seeing that person face-to-face, you are fine and not being disloyal to your spouse.
  9. Increase casual and playful texting.
  10. Shift from playful banter to deeper emotional disclosures.
  11. Experience an increase in the euphoric chemical boost.
  12. Find yourself hiding your phone from your spouse, because you don’t want the texts to be “misinterpreted.”  (ALERT: Tipping Point)
  13. Continue to tell yourself that nothing is going to happen, because you still aren’t in this person’s physical presence, so you are still in control.
  14. Realize you have an emotional yearning for this individual.
  15. As you increase the need to hide your texts, begin to see your spouse as the enemy.
  16. Find yourself disconnecting from your spouse to find a place to text this person more often and privately.
  17. Hide more.
  18. Declare your deepest feelings and yearnings for this person and plan to meet in a private location.
  19. Engage in physical affection.
  20. Bam!
  21. Feel as if you have “fallen,” in love with this person and want him/her more than your spouse.
  22. Tell yourself this is your true love connection…otherwise you wouldn’t have “fallen,” in love, and you wouldn’t have these feelings.
  23. See your spouse as the one thing standing between you and true love and happiness.
  24. Destabilize your family.
  25. Make an appointment with [a therapist].

This may sound harsh to some readers…definitely to those who see themselves somewhere on this continuum.  I’m not changing my story.  If you would not repeatedly enter a private room with someone without a window where someone can see in, frequently enough that you start to share feelings with someone that you wouldn’t share with your spouse, don’t do it on a cell phone.

Here’s one more thing that should not surprise you:  If your texting partner is an old boyfriend or girlfriend, you can expect to immediately resurrect the same emotions you felt when you were dating that person.  You will exaggerate all the good memories you had and minimize the negative memories you had from that relationship.  That’s not unique.  Your texting affair is not unique, and the effect is as if you are on drugs.  I’ve written this before, and I stand by it.

Lastly, realize that no matter how great you think your marriage is, this can happen to you.  It is the failure to be watchful and set boundaries that gets people into trouble.  If you think you could never end up having an affair, you’re kidding yourself—FWIW.

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Calling the Unqualified

Peter, Andrew, James, Nathanael. Never traveled farther than a week’s walk from home. Haven’t studied the ways of Asia or the culture of Greece. Their passports aren’t worn; their ways aren’t sophisticated. Do they have any formal education?

In fact, what do they have? Humility? They jockeyed for cabinet positions. Sound theology? Peter told Jesus to forget the cross. Sensitivity? John wanted to torch the Gentiles. Loyalty? When Jesus needed prayers, they snoozed. When Jesus was arrested, they ran.

Thanks to their cowardice, Christ had more enemies than friends at his execution.

Yet look at them six weeks later, crammed into the second floor of a Jerusalem house, abuzz as if they’d just won tickets to the World Cup Finals. High fives and wide eyes. Wondering what in the world Jesus had in mind with his final commission: “You will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth” (Acts 1:8 NIV).

You hillbillies will be my witnesses. You uneducated and simple folk will be my witnesses. You who once called me crazy, who shouted at me in the boat and doubted me in the Upper Room. You temperamental, parochial net casters and tax collectors. You will be my witnesses. You will spearhead a movement that will explode like a just-opened fire hydrant out of Jerusalem and spill into the ends of the earth: into the streets of Paris, the districts of Rome, and the ports of Athens, Istanbul, Shanghai, and Buenos Aires. You will be a part of something so mighty, controversial, and head spinning that two millennia from now a middle-aged, redheaded author riding in the exit row of a flight from Boston to Dallas will type this question on his laptop:

Does Jesus still do it? Does he still use simple folks like us to change the world?

God doesn’t call the qualified. He qualifies the called.

Don’t let Satan convince you otherwise. He will try. He will tell you that God has an IQ requirement or an entry fee. That he employs only specialists and experts, governments and high-powered personalities. When Satan whispers such lies, dismiss him with this truth: God stampeded the first-century society with swaybacks, not thoroughbreds. Before Jesus came along, the disciples were loading trucks, coaching soccer, and selling Slurpee drinks at the convenience store. Their collars were blue, and their hands were calloused, and there is no evidence that Jesus chose them because they were smarter or nicer than the guy next door. The one thing they had going for them was a willingness to take a step when Jesus said, “Follow me.”

Are you more dinghy than cruise ship? More stand-in than movie star? More plumber than executive? More blue jeans than blue blood? Congratulations. God changes the world with folks like you.

Today’s devotional is drawn from Max Lucado’s Second Chances.