addiction

originally posted at: https://theonlinetherapist.blog/the-power-of-journalling-and-why-so-many-people-struggle-with-it/

Journalling is a practical tool for emotional clarity, self-awareness and pattern recognition. This article explores why journaling can support psychological wellbeing, why many people resist it, and how difficulty with journaling often reflects deeper struggles with honesty, emotional expression, perfectionism and self-connection rather than a lack of discipline.

Journaling is more practical than people think

We are all told we should do more journalling. I tell my clients that too and every self-help book you come across will do the same, but why? Just what use is journalling? Journalling is often considered a soft, rather vague wellness habit and something that people do to be more mindful or intentional. Many people start and can’t continue. However, journalling is a fantastic psychological tool that is in no way, sentimental or self-indulgent. Done regularly, it can help to organize thoughts, see patterns, express feelings that have often not found language. It is also a great tool for creating a bit of distance from everyday noise.

We live constantly in a state of inner congestion. Our thoughts repeat, feelings build, resentments linger and if we are honest, very little of this is processed. Our minds become overwhelmed and indeed, overcrowded and issues are turned over but not moved forward on. This is where journalling can be powerful, as it takes what is happening on an internal level and places it somewhere concrete. I have been journalling for nearly 30 years and I can testify to the fact that writing it down turns the abstract into something visible that can be observed.

Writing things down creates emotional distance

Thoughts gain power when they remain unspoken and unexamined. Without this, they can feel convincing and much bigger than they actually are. Writing them down reduces that intensity and the writing gives the thought shape. A fear written clearly on a page is often easier to understand than a fear moving around in the inner world. Journalling can help people recognize what they are actually feeling rather than what they think they should be feeling. It can also show the difference between a passing emotional state and a deeper, recurring theme.

Writing things down is also very useful for people who struggle to know how they feel in the moment. Some people are articulate outwards and fail to understand what is happening underneath. They can explain things in great detail but cannot answer a question like “How do you feel about that?”. Journalling in this case would allow the mind to slow down enough for an answer to emerge. Doing that encourages reflection rather than reaction and over time, it can strengthen emotional awareness and self-honesty.

Journaling helps reveal repeating patterns

It can also reveal patterns that might otherwise have been missed. For example, someone could write about a bad day at work, an argument with their partner and tension with family members. On the surface, these could all be separate incidents but when written down and observed over weeks or months, a pattern might emerge. The same type of conflict happens, the same type of behaviour happens, the same fear is triggered repeatedly and maybe a pattern of self-abandonment appears. This is where journalling presents evidence rather than just expression. Of course, that truth can become uncomfortable which is why it is often avoided. That can be uncomfortable, but it is useful. Real change rarely begins with inspiration alone. It begins with accurate observation.

It gives people a private place to tell the truth

Above all, journalling gives people a private place to say things they might not be able to say aloud. Not everyone is ready to talk about deep things going on in their life and issues like fear, anger, grief or shame are sometimes difficult to talk about. In the case of shame and loneliness, it might be difficult to even admit this to oneself openly. Writing offers an opportunity that doesn’t need performance, explanation or immediate action. For many, this is the start of emotional honesty.

Why some people find journaling so difficult

And yet, for all its benefits, many people find journaling surprisingly difficult and this is evidenced in my work. Many people believe they have to conform to some system or guidelines (never been able to understand the “get up at 4am and write three pages thing). Journalling asks for honesty and many people are just not ready to be honest with themselves. It is easier to carry on being busy than sit with themselves. Even though no-one else needs to read anything written, words on a page can feel very exposing and can feel more real. Some people avoid journalling, not because it’s not helpful, but because it might be too helpful.

Perfectionism often gets in the way

Perfectionism is often a factor in not continuing with the habit. I have had clients who have gone out and bought a lovely, expensive journal with the intention of journalling and never use it. People imagine there is a correct way to journal and input from social media doesn’t help. They think it should be lengthy, profound, eloquent or so insightful that it becomes life changing. My journals are often written with different pens and pencils, some entries contain one word or even a sketch and some have well worn coffee stains on them. I always carry one around with me while hiking or visiting somewhere. There is no right or wrong way to journal. The biggest issue is that for a lot of people, writing becomes an another item on the “to-do” list. Another task instead of a tool. Good journalling is about telling yourself the truth, not producing beautiful sentences. It will sometimes be easier to write than at other times and often, you will look back and look at clumsy, repetitive entries. That is perfectly normal.

Some people have lost touch with their own inner world

Another issue is that many people have been used to overriding and subduing themselves. They are used to focusing on others, anticipating and managing others while they avoid themselves. These people will always say they draw a blank when they are asked to write their thoughts on paper. Not because their inner world doesn’t exist but because they have never attended to it. This is especially true with codependency, anxiety or if they grew up in environments where expression wasn’t allowed. For them, journalling feels difficult and somewhat pointless. This often shows up why it is needed in the first place.

The fear of being overwhelmed is real

People often say they don’t want to be overwhelmed by facing their issues with honesty and they worry that too much will come out if they start writing about it. The cork that has been holding in the anger, fear and shame will finally pop. That fear is somewhat understandable because journalling can open doors and people can sense that before they begin. This is why simple journalling should be just that, there is no need to write about your whole history in one go. A few honest lines are enough. What am I feeling today?, What has been troubling me? What have I been avoiding? What do I know that I am not facing? More than enough to begin with.

Journaling is really about building a relationship with yourself

Journalling is about creating a relationship with yourself that might be missing in daily life. It invites honesty, reflection and a steadier form of self-awareness. It helps people hear their own voice underneath the noise of expectation, fear and habit. And while it may feel difficult at first, that difficulty is often part of its value. The page asks for something real. For many people, that is precisely what they have been avoiding, and precisely what they need.