This is a reminder that the early bird price of $135 will end right before midnight on August 31st.  Regular registration will begin at Midnight on September 1st.

Here is some information on the retreat.  I pray that the Lord uses this retreat to help men in their sexual purity journey.  The link to register for the retreat is at the bottom of this page.

Friday, November 11th – Sunday, November 13th.

Castimonia’s Paratus Retreat is sponsored by Armaturam, LLC and is a retreat for any man who struggles with any type of sexual purity.  Paratus, Latin for equipped.

If you are wondering about whether to attend this retreat, ask yourself these questions:

  • Are you fully equipped for the spiritual battle that is raging around us right now?
  • Are you a man who strives for biblical sexual purity?
  • Are you a man who struggles with maintaining that sexual purity?
  • Do you want a circle of brothers helping you in your sexual purity journey?

Join us for a weekend dedicated to equipping adult men of all ages, all walks of life, and various levels of struggle with the tools necessary to wage this spiritual battle and emerge on the other side as the sexually pure men that God intended us to be.

At the retreat, we will discuss strategies for equipping ourselves with tactics necessary for battling the enemy. We will discover the true meaning of brotherhood and fellowship. The leaders of the retreat will set the example of vulnerability and accountability. We hope to pave the way for all men to be fully equipped to wage war against Satan’s tempting assaults and emerge VICTORIOUS.

Castimonia Retreat

The link above will take you to our host site  If the link doesn’t work, copy and paste this link below:

Register by following this link:

Originally posted at:
by Cindy at Affaircare

In Gary Chapman’s best-selling book, The Five Love Languages, he explains that people express and receive love in different ways. Dr. Chapman identifies these the five languages of love as: quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service and physical touch.

For people who have “acts of service” as their primary love language, helpful acts are seen as very powerful expressions of love and devotion. Actions like cooking a meal, setting a table, washing dishes, vacuuming, taking out the garbage, mowing the grass, etc. are all acts of service. If done with a positive spirit and without expecting something in return, they are indeed expressions of love.

Within every language, there are many dialects. If you have a significant other with acts of service as his/her primary love language, find out the specific things he/she would like by asking. If you are the person with that specific love language, let your spouse know which actions mean the most to you.

We asked people what acts(s) of service they think are most valued by a spouse are here are some of the responses:

  1. During the cold months, put a towel in the dryer while your spouse is showering so it’s all fluffy and warm when he/she gets out.
  2. Clean the kitchen or bathroom
  3. Men: Be a gentleman and walk on the “dangerous” side of the road so she feels protected.
  4. Fix things that the other can’t fix.
  5. Buy or make him/her lunch and bring it to him/her at work, even if (especially if) it’s out of your way.
  6. Cook a special meal that you know he/she likes.
  7. Fill up your gas tank without being asked.
  8. Drop your spouse at the door when it is raining.
  9. Men: Open car doors for your wife.
  10. Go to the grocery store and buy items you know he/she loves—without being asked


Here is the gist of the text that ended my life as I knew it:

“Call me right now! I can’t believe you lied to me AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!”

Yeah, that was it. It was on a Friday at 3:42 pm while I was at work.  I was in a meeting and felt my phone vibrate.  Sheer panic was a very appropriate descriptor of my emotions at that exact time.  Mix in a healthy dose of shame, disgust, self-loathing and add a bit of self-preservation.  How could I mitigate this?  And could I lie to cover it up? Only to protect her!

She wouldn’t be lied to again. She was in full anger and panic and close to a nervous breakdown.  I could feel it through the text. I rushed home to find her in shock and tears.  The shame was overwhelming.  I couldn’t breathe.  I wish I could say I was ready to “come clean” and tell her everything.  I wasn’t.  I wanted to lie and lessen it.  I wanted to say, “No that was just the woman you knew about trying to hurt you again.  Of course I didn’t contact her after I said I wouldn’t.”  I knew quickly I couldn’t do that.  The affair partner had already told me she was going to send her copies of my messages.

I was cornered. This is what bottom feels like. I didn’t have any more options for lying, even though my self-preservation tools had kicked in hard. She wanted me out. I went to a friend’s house. I was panicking, having trouble focusing, and still…..trying to find a way out.

She saw her counselor the next morning. She wouldn’t talk to me. Her counselor texted me with three non-negotiable requirements for even continuing a conversation together:

  1. Immediately meet with a counselor that she recommends
  2. Enroll in a 12 step program
  3. Full disclosure and polygraph with Dr. Milton Magness

Full disclosure. Polygraph. My thoughts were: “Oh God, please save me. How do I get around this? Can I manipulate this situation? I am sure I can change her mind. Can’t I?” I began praying. I wish I could say I began praying for her primarily. I didn’t. I began praying for me. I was terrified, anxious and panicked. “God, you don’t really want her to know all this, do you? I mean, all it will do is hurt her. I am just trying to protect her. I will change, with YOUR help!” Notice how I shifted it to God? How if He would just help me, I wouldn’t be in this mess. Ok, no need to panic. Agree to everything. You can handle this. It won’t be different than before. You can wear her down and things will be ok. Right? I am sure that is right. It’s worked before. I am smart enough to make this work. I will agree to it all and then just slow play it. I have a good excuse. I was just checking on that previous affair partner. I knew I had hurt her and just wanted to make sure she was ok. That was admirable of me! When I explain it to everyone, it will be ok and I won’t need to do any disclosing of things that are better left hidden. I am SURE that will work!

A member of Castimonia has graciously volunteered to post a real time “play-by-play” journey through his recovery via his private journal entries.  These posts will be made weekly and I pray it helps men in their journey through recovery.

Journal Through Recovery

This is my journey through recovery in real time, as it happens. I will give you insights and thoughts as they occur through every step of my experience.  Feedback and questions are welcome.  I make no claim of expertise or advanced knowledge.  I am on the same path that many have followed. I am seeking guidance, support, wisdom, and prayer just like any other addict.

Join me each week as I give an unfiltered account of my hopes, prayers, anxieties, fears, and hopefully some learnings as well. I will start practicing rigorous honesty here…….I am terrified about being so transparent with emotions.  As an addict, I am new at this whole intimacy thing.  I hope you find something here that, in the words of my counselor, reinforces a primary truth….you are not alone!

John shares his life’s story in an honest and open way to help us see patterns in his life that we might identify with.

He discusses his early exposure to life situations that were too mature for him and how that confuses his view of “reality.”

We see the use of secondary addictions creep in as he tries to compensate for feelings and guilt. He also discusses how he found hope, and how that new life style has given him a fresh outlook on life.

Our hope is that his story of God’s redeeming love is an example of the power that God can work in all of our lives. If you are struggling and need help, you are not alone and it is not too late!

Please email us at for more information…thanks for listening!

A short three minute video describing what occurs in the brain when we watch pornography.



Original story:


LOS OLIVOS, Calif. — Turns out, Michael Jackson kept massive collections of pornographic material at his Neverland Ranch.

Newly-released police reports say Jackson’s bedroom and bathroom had at least seven collections of work that show young boys fully nude or partially clothed, according to Radar Online.

There are also reports he had pictures of animal torture, S&M, photos and videos of old and young, male and female, in perverted positions. Also found were multiple prescriptions for drugs to treat sex addiction.

Authorities made the discovery during a search of the home in November 2003.

Many of the materials were submitted after a young boy claimed Jackson sexually abused and assaulted him on multiple occasions. Jackson was ultimately acquitted of molestation charges in 2005.

Jackson’s fame as a pop singer/songwriter began with the Jackson 5, alongside his brothers. He later went on to have a successful solo career and died in 2009 from a medication overdose.

His physician was later convicted of involuntary manslaughter.