Posts Tagged ‘affair’


Infidelity Survivors Anonymous (ISA) is starting a new meeting in Austin this Thursday, December 7th. The meeting is at 11:00 am until Noon at the Yellow House Foundation, 120 Commercial Parkway, Cedar Park, TX 78613.
Infidelity Survivors Anonymous is a support group for individuals who have experienced infidelity-induced trauma caused by any form of sexual betrayal in their relationships.
Additionally, ISA is planning their first retreat January 5-7 at Camp Allen in the greater Houston area. Room is still available for a few more ladies to sign up. Also, I understand that some scholarships may be available. For more information about the retreat, go to http://www.isurvivors.org/2018-retreat/.
For more information about ISA go to http://www.isurvivors.org.

 UncleanNotUnknown.com – Keith B.

Unclean. Miriam-Webster Dictionary defines unclean  as “dirty, filthy, morally or spiritually impure.” How did I get that way? Of course, original sin led to that break with God and true moral and spiritual impurity. But really, what happened with me in particular?

So, what is “clean”? I believe I mentioned that God is Holy. Yeah, I know, big surprise. Because of that original sin of Adam and Eve, we can’t ever meet His standard of holiness while here on earth in our brokenness and in a broken world. So why does holiness even matter?

Leviticus 19 – 21 defines holiness, cleanliness and why they are important. Someone challenged me last week when I wrote about the necessity of seeking a life of holiness to pursue a relationship with God. I was rightly challenged that holiness is not a requirement for salvation or being seen as redeemed by God, which is true. So why pursue holiness? Well, two real reasons. One, living by holy standards gives glory to the Lord, honoring Him in our lives by seeking His standard of living. Two, living by holy standards keeps us from unhealthiness, disease, abuse, and darkness. Stark, huh?

God is Holy. He is the Holy One. He decides what is holy and what isn’t. He is picky, like I mentioned previously. He defines what is clean and what is unclean. Sexual holiness means living by God’s holy standards. In 1 Corinthians 6, Paul explained the importance of practicing sexual holiness and honoring God’s creation of our bodies. He stated our bodies are part of Christ and defiling our bodies through sexual immorality defiles the holiness of God. In 1 Thessalonians 4, Paul goes further by defining sexual holiness as existing in the context of marriage between man and woman. Paul made clear that sexual holiness means avoiding any sexual immorality. All sexual sin including adultery, prostitution, homosexuality – all run counter to God’s call to holiness.

How do we become unclean? Many don’t know any better, don’t know God’s expectations for living a holy life. Some of us have a desperate need that we try to fill with something other than God. We may listen to our culture which allows for and even encourages sexual practices that don’t fit God’s definition of holiness. Whatever path we follow, all of us need a Holy Savior.

Our culture and society label those who express support for sexual holiness as intolerant or ignorant or unenlightened. So how do we live in this society, balancing the pursuit of holiness with the love of Christ for all people? I turn to John 1:17 again and again to the only man who successfully navigated being in the culture but not of the world. Jesus came in grace and truth. We pursue His model of living. Revelation 4:8 reminds me “Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty.” 1 John 4:8 says “anyone who does not love, does not know God, for God is love.”

God calls me as a follower of Christ to pursue His Holiness and to show His love. Grace and truth. Sexual holiness exists as His truth. Telling my story of redemption and restoration allows me to share a message and example of His grace. Grace and truth. He calls me to both.

 


Originally posted at: https://thewest.com.au/news/australia/children-as-young-as-five-driven-by-porn

Children as young as five are sexually abusing their peers after being exposed to pornography, a Senate inquiry has been told.

In chilling evidence that would shock parents, a leading child development expert has outlined a litany of cases where primary school aged children were coercing classmates into performing sex acts including intercourse.

Professor Freda Briggs has also cited her own work that found fathers were watching online porn with their young sons for “fun” because “that’s what guys do”.

The prevalence of internet pornography — especially how children can stumble on it while innocently doing homework — has alarmed federal MPs.

WA Liberal Senator Chris Back, along with WA Labor counterpart Joe Bullock, has set up a Senate inquiry to look at the harm it is causing children, including sexualising them at a young age.

“What prompted it for me has been the number of people who have contacted me that they have little or no control over what their children are seeing,” Senator Back told The West Australian.

Senator Back said he was keen to explore what could be done to protect children, including seeing whether technological advances had made internet-wide filtering possible.

The Rudd Government had promised to introduce internet filtering to block “refused classification” websites but ran into objections it amounted to censorship and would slow download speeds.

The Abbott Government established an “e-Safety commissioner” to promote online safety for children.

Prof Briggs said in her submission there were growing cases of children acting out on what they had seen and experienced by sexually abusing other kids in schools and child care centres.

“Clearly we are paying too high a price for adults’ rights to view whatever they wish regardless of the consequences for young people and society,” she said.

She accused schools of trying to sweep sexualised behaviour under the carpet and urged a greater focus on child protection in school curriculum.

“The problem is that neither teachers, police nor social workers appear to be trained to take these behaviours seriously and respond appropriately,” she said.

“When staff are inadequately informed, serious incidents such as rape have been dismissed as “boys will be boys”, or it’s “normal sexual experimentation”, when it clearly isn’t.”

A WA Police spokeswoman said child on child sexually abuse was not a trend that had been seen in the State and almost all offenders were adults.

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Episode 50 – I am right! Being confident as a way to hide sex addiction

Doug discusses how “being right” was a mask to hide his weaknesses.  Being known by others wasn’t possible because appearing right was more important.

Doug talks about ways to look introspectively to overcome addiction and character defects.  Learning to say “I don’t know” and “I was wrong” are gateways to healing.

Please email us at puritypodcast@castimonia.org for more information!


Healing is a ProcessNotUnknown.com  Keith B.

Throughout my life I believed that healing was instantaneous. I thought that when God felt like it, He waved His magic wand and healed people. Like the miracles Jesus and the disciples and prophets did in the Bible. I thought healing was like when the woman touched the garment of Jesus and was immediately healed. Her bleeding stopped. That was healing to me. That is healing sometimes…only I thought that was the only way healing occurred. My belief or unbelief in any other way of healing limited my view of God and his sovereignty and purpose.

Because I believed healing was only immediate, I didn’t have room in my life or beliefs for any other type of healing. I believed God worked but I didn’t equate that to His divine plan for healing. So, I made an assumption, one that would impact the rest of my life. I assumed I wasn’t worthy of healing.

Unworthy of healing didn’t become my mantra. It became a barrier separating me and God. Prayers became pleas. Seeking a lasting relationship became imploring and bargaining with God to just step up this one time and I would forever follow Him daily. When He didn’t, when I didn’t see instantaneous miraculous healing, I didn’t see Him at work at all. No magical change meant no God at work.

My belief in God didn’t change. I knew He was real. Evidence of His creation surrounded me. Examples of Him at work escaped me. I missed Him in the every day. He was only miraculous to me. God became a one note musician. His symphony went on without me.

Because I didn’t see Him in the every day, there had to be a reason He didn’t perform those Biblical magical acts of transformation in my life. I prayed hard enough for change. Baptism didn’t do it. Bible study and church attendance didn’t either. The problem had to be me. My hidden sin, my litany of violations of His commands and of my vows to my wife and family, had to be too much to qualify for healing. I had done too much wrong.

The Bible doesn’t say that. It says things like “all have sinned and fall short” and “if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us.” There is no “except for Keith” in there that I can find.

My wife discovered that I had contacted a previous affair partner after I promised I was in recovery. She warned me if I had acted out with anyone else, especially a friend of hers, we were done and I should just leave. I fully disclosed my complete sexual history, including acting out with that friend of hers, seven weeks later. I expected her to keep her promise and leave. She didn’t.

Our marriage continues to grow and heal gradually, not in the way I believed the only way for healing to occur. Healing for us and our marriage progresses slowly, a day at a time. My friend Corey told me that I didn’t see God at work in the small stuff, the daily stuff. He spoke truth. God works in all the stuff, big and small. In my life, in this moment, healing is a process.


Achan

His name means: “Troublemaker”

His character: Achan’s greed for the spoils of war and his attempt to hide his sin led to a situation that endangered Israel’s relationship with God. By disregarding God’s command, he brought trouble and judgment on his own people. His sorrow: His disobedience resulted in the loss of many lives, including his own. His triumph: To have participated in the victory over Jericho. Key Scriptures: Joshua 7:1-8:2

A Look at the Man

Achan may not have been a bad man, at least to begin with. While living for many years in the desert, he may even have fed himself on dreams of what life would be like in the Promised Land, where he could build a life for his family. He may have rushed into Jericho fully intending to follow the Lord’s commands. But then came an opportunity to do otherwise. And that’s when his resolve faded.

Achan’s disobedience then produced a kind of foolishness in him; he attempted to hide what he had done, burying stolen goods beneath his tent. But he was hiding from the God who made him, from the same God who parted the Red Sea and the Jordan River, and from the God who had just caused the walls of a fortified city to crumble without a weapon being raised against it. Why was Achan foolish enough to think that God would find it hard to see through his little deception?

The truth is that it’s sin’s nature to hide. Consider your own experience. Isn’t it hard to admit your sins to others? Isn’t it difficult to admit them to yourself? Most of us have found ingenious ways to hide the ugliness of sin from ourselves and others, by rationalizing, excusing, and even forgetting things we’ve done wrong. But Achan’s story tells us that God is never fooled by such foolishness.

Simple obedience and the cleansing power of God’s grace are the best defense against sin. But when we fail to do the right thing, we should remind ourselves not to compound the problem by hiding what we’ve done. Instead, we can go directly to God, expressing our sorrow and asking his forgiveness, confident that he will give it.

Reflect On: Deuteronomy 6:1–3 Praise God: Because his commandments are meant to bless us, not to enslave us. Offer Thanks: That God has not hidden his commands from us. Confess: Any tendency to value your opinion about a course of action more than you value God’s. Ask God: To make you humble enough to realize that you do not always know what is best.

Today’s reading is a brief excerpt from Men of the Bible: A One-Year Devotional Study of Men in Scripture by Ann Spangler and Robert Wolgemuth (Zondervan). © 2010 by Ann Spangler. Used with permission. All rights reserved. Enjoy the complete book by purchasing your own copy at the Bible Gateway Store. The book’s title must be included when sharing the above content on social media.


A benefit of seeking a life of rigorous honesty is that I don’t have anything to hide. I no longer spend my days trying to remember what story I told to whom. I don’t parse my words when I talk to my wife about my day, trying to avoid discussing how I truly spent my time. I don’t say “fine” when others ask me how I am doing or how I am feeling. Honesty is new for me. It is also very freeing.

I am participating in a men’s Bible study through my church. We are studying a book by Louie Giglio called Goliath Must Fall. I really like his style of writing, how he is very transparent about his struggles and his failures. The premise is that Christ already has victory over the “giants” in our lives and therefore we can claim that victory and not allow them to have a foothold. Last night’s lesson was on fear. I was sure I had this one whipped. I don’t have anything to hide anymore so therefore I don’t have anything to fear.

The author spoke about his relationship with his father and how something small his father said to him had such a lasting impact. A throwaway sarcastic comment where both of them laughed at the expense of the son seemed innocuous to the father but was so damaging to the son. The son didn’t recognize at the time that his father was the product of an environment where rejection was constant and present. Not until at the end of the father’s life did the son realize that his father had experienced nothing but rejection and that he constantly tried to give acceptance to his son but didn’t always succeed.

My father is dying. He is gradually slipping away. He has fought against a neuromuscular disease for the last twenty years. He is strong and determined. He is losing. He is also losing his memory. The dementia is impacting his ability to function on a daily basis. The struggle to care for him is draining my mother both physically and mentally.

I realized this last week when visiting my father that I have pent up resentment and animosity towards he and my mother for the rejection I felt throughout most of my life, not only for what they said but for what they didn’t say. The times I hoped to hear them tell me they were proud of me or that what I did and wanted was important. I allowed that rejection to have a foothold. I realized that when I was visiting with them. They both came from difficult circumstances. I realized that, too. My animosity and resentment has started to truly melt away.

In our study this week, I was dwelling on this resentment and animosity that Louie Giglio had for his father. I thought about the animosity and anger I had towards my father. Then I realized that even though I was letting go of that foothold in my life, I had one more.

Reviewing fear forced me to look deeper into my life. I realize that I have a deep seated fear. I am afraid that I have damaged my kids too much. I fear they won’t be able to see me as a “good” father. I fear my wife won’t ever be able to trust me again. I realize that I can only do what my father does for me now. Each time I see him he tells me how much he loves me and that he doesn’t want me to leave. I pray that God show me that He has conquered these fears as well.