Posts Tagged ‘sex partners’


Our temporary host church, Trinity Baptist will be closed  on Tuesday, October 17th so we are canceling the Castimonia Tuesday night meeting at this church. The meeting will resume the following Tuesday night at its regular time and location.

For an alternate meeting, please visit the Sugar Land location at the Vineyard Church.

Tuesday Nights
Time: 7:00PM – 8:30PM
Location: Vineyard Church of Sugar Land
Mosaic Room (Ring door bell and enter through FRONT door.  Go to the second floor)
5015 Grove West Boulevard
Stafford, TX  77477
Contact: Troy P. at 713.906.6658 or rphtroy@gmail.com


SOURCE:  Fight The New Drug

With the shockingly quick and easy access to an unlimited, ever-increasing supply of porn these days, it shouldn’t come as a surprise that both science and personal accounts are coming out by the day, exposing the negative impact porn has on peoples’ lives. If you’ve come across these types of articles here and there but still haven’t found the motivation you need to kick your porn habit, we’ve got 40 good reasons for you.

1. Have Better Sex

Perhaps the biggest lie porn sells is that its fantasy world is filled with sex positivity: sexual education, more sex, better sex, etc. What it doesn’t mention, however, is that the deeper a user dives into that fantasy world, the more likely their reality is to become just the opposite. Porn is complicated, the science is simple: the more pornography a person views, the harder it becomes for them to be aroused by a real person or a real relationship. Ditch the shallow counterfeits and put the “sex” back in sexy!

2. It’s like a drug!

On the surface, cocaine and porn don’t seem to have a lot in common but more and more studies are coming out showing that viewing pornography tricks your brain into releasing the same pleasure chemicals as drugs. Much like a drug, when these pleasure chemicals such as dopamine and oxytocin pulse through the brain, they help to create new brain pathways that essentially lead the user back to the behavior that triggered the chemical release in the first place, mimicking a drug addiction. Porn is a drug injected through the eyes, and although quitting can feel just as daunting and impossible as quitting a substance, the support out there is making it more possible than ever and the reward will feel just as liberating!

3.  Habits and Addiction Can Escalate

Because of its addictive nature, in order to retain the same level of interest and excitement, an individual usually needs an ever increasing dosage of porn and constantly evolving material. Over time, their appetite pushes them to more hardcore versions just to achieve the same level of arousal. The unshackling feeling that comes from breaking free from addiction before it escalates will empower you to live your life to it’s fullest potential!

4. Improve Behavior 

Sooner or later, users start to find themselves getting aroused by things that used to disgust them or that go against what they think deep down is right. Once they start regularly watching extreme and dangerous sex acts, these porn users are being taught that those behaviors are more normal and common than they actually are. There’s an obvious destructive behavior pattern caused by porn that compromises beliefs, changes ideas and turns relationships sour when pressure is placed on a partner to perform or live up to the standards set by porn. Reversing destructive behavior will happen soon after deciding to cut this hazardous influence from your life.

5. Form Deeper Connections 

The porn industry objectifies people and commoditizes the act of sex. There’s nothing romantic or realistic about porn sex, and it seriously puts a disconnect between the viewer and reality. This makes it hard for them to have an intimate connection with a real person. You’ll only feel complete when you disconnect with porn and connect with real person!

6. Appreciate Your Body

The makeup, surgery, Photoshop and acting that goes into porn gives us an unrealistic view of the human body and sexuality. We start to subconsciously compare ourselves to what we’re seeing, causing overthinking and low self-esteem when it comes time to being intimate. Kicking your porn habit will restore a healthy body image and reinstate the sense confidence that you deserve.

7. Appreciate Those You’re Attracted To

In addition to affecting the way we see ourselves, porn causes us to under-appreciate the opposite sex by training us to see them as sexual objects and not as humans with beautiful and unique features. It’s likely due to the fact that porn promotes a completely fictional version of how people look and behave, and creates a false exciting reality that their partners can never live up to. One of the first positive effects that people report soon after quitting porn is the ability to truly appreciate the beauty of the opposite sex without constantly undressing them in their mind.

8. Prevent Sexual Dysfunction (ED)

This one is for the guys out there. The fact is porn often leads to less sex and less satisfying sex. For a surprising amount of viewers, porn eventually means no sex at all. Regular viewing of porn has been found to affect the brain in such a way that it hinders sexual performance when they get with an actual human being. Porn-induced erectile dysfunction is a real thing in men, a side effect of watching porn that they probably never see coming until it’s too late. The only cure is to quit porn and let their brain “rewire” and return to normal.

9. Stop Supporting Sex Trafficking 

The facts are there: clicking porn directly fuels the demand for sex trafficking. There are a countless victims of human sex trafficking that are forced to have sex on camera. Even in the “legitimate” adult industry, porn stars are frequently victims of violence and drug abuse. There’s no just no way to know the dark origins behind what we’re watching. By refusing to click, you’re refusing to contribute to the demand for sexual exploitation.

10. Porn Promotes Violence Against Women

From making actors participate in unsafe sex to the countless real stories of actresses speaking out about the rape, violence and drugs behind the camera, there is certainly a dark reality to this industry. Porn tries to normalize this exploitation but we’re not buying it. To watch porn is to support a questionable industry that abuses it’s actors in addition to harming those who watch it. Not cool.

11. Porn Can Lead To Violent Behavior

It’s true that not all porn is the same, but the reality is that the majority of even the most mainstream porn is packed full of women being physically and verbally abused—and watching it takes a serious toll on the viewer. Even the non-violent porn portrays a power difference between partners where men are in charge and women are submissive sex objects. But unlike violence in movies where someone gets mad and fights back, research has shown that 95% of the victims of aggression in porn scenes reacted neutral or responded with pleasure. This confuses frequent viewers to believe violence is sexy, and can lead them to hurting women in real life during sex. Unlearning this violent behavior will undoubtedly benefit you, your partner and your sex life.

12. Increase Your Creativity

We believe that in order to be truly creative, you have to connect with deepest most honest parts of yourself. Porn clogs up your imagination with cheap content that disconnects you from feeling real passion and motivation. Once you let explicit images stop distracting you from inspiration, you’ll feel more imaginative than ever! (Read: Why Your Porn Habit Might Be Killing Your Creativity.)

13. Live A More Honest Life

Not every porn viewer lies about their addiction, but most feel ashamed and obligated to hide it. Whether they admit it or not, they know that their partner wouldn’t like the idea of them sexually bonding to a computer screen. When you live a lie for long enough, you start to convince yourself of it as well and the more lies you tell, the harder it becomes to tell the truth about anything. Bring your dirty little secret out into the light and we guarantee you’ll feel more free than ever before.

14. Free Up Some Time

You’ve probably realized by now that porn takes up a lot of your time! Porn viewers spend anywhere between a few minutes to a few hours daily consuming these harmful images. Anyone who frequently watches porn knows that as the years have gone on, they watch harder material for longer periods of time. Think of it this way: if you spent just 10 minutes a day watching porn, that’s over 60 hours at the end of the year you could have spent doing something beneficial to your life! Time is precious; spend it on making memories that last, not on images that disappear with a click.

15. Find Someone Special

In porn, everything from the way people look to how and why they have sex is a lie. Porn viewers often get so obsessed with chasing something that isn’t real that they miss out on actual relationships. Research has even shown that less men are getting married because they feel porn takes care of all their sexual needs. Ditch the lies and go find the the love of your life! They’re waiting for you!

16. Be A Better Partner

Porn doesn’t just affect you, it affects your partner as well. While a great deal of information exists for those suffering from addiction, partners are often left feeling alone with equally real wounds of their own. Partners of porn viewers commonly feel betrayed and neglected when their significant other chooses to share their sexuality with a screen instead of them. When you cut porn from being the third party, you’ll find it easier to build a healthier relationship emotionally and sexually.

17. Become A Better Parent 

The harmful effects of porn don’t always revolve around romantic partners like boyfriends/girlfriends or husbands/wives. There are countless stories, like this one, that show how porn can isolate, consume, and eventually even destroy families. Additionally, children and teens these days  are exposed to hardcore porn at a young age, and many receive their sex-ed from porn which depicts unrealistic portrayals of human sexuality, leading to lifelong issues in the bedroom. Promote healthy displays of affection in your home and promote a porn-free life for your future family.

18. Become A Better Friend

Your porn habit can isolate you from valuable social time with friends and the shame that comes with watching porn can cause you to be distant at social gatherings. When you no longer allow yourself to be a prisoner to this habit, you no longer have to worry about the chains that come with it.

19. Maintain Mental/Emotional Health

Being tied to a consistent porn habit requires you to spend a lot of time alone and can quickly make you uninterested in the every day pleasures of life such as having conversations with real people and being active. Research has shown that frequent porn viewing is connected to mental/emotional health issues such as anxiety and depression. There is a strong victory over these challenges that comes with quitting porn that can be truly liberating.

20. Take Back Control

One in five people who regularly watch porn admit to feeling controlled by their own sexual desires. As a result, many viewers start feeling like something’s wrong with them because they don’t know how to be turned on by a real person. This only leads to watching more porn because it’s the only escape that works. Quitting porn allows you to take back control of your sexual desires and connect with a real person.

21. Don’t Believe the Fantasy

With the exaggerated bodies and rehearsed scenes in porn, viewers can quickly lose perspective on their own natural desires, as well as their partner’s. Unplugging from porn will help you become more in tune with what you and your partner want instead of influencing you to reenact what you’ve seen in porn. Be the author of your own sexuality, not an imitation of something that isn’t even real.

22. Increase Sexual Energy

If you’re watching porn, you’re probably also doing something else that’s giving you a sexual release. Many people deep in their porn habit do this multiple times a day. If you’re too busy venting your sex drive this way, you’re not going to have much interest in real sexual intimacy with a partner. You may have already experienced a lack of drive or the inability to perform with your partner. By quitting porn, you’ll reclaim that natural energy.

23. Increase Overall Energy 

It’s obvious that porn consumes your time and your sexual attention, but do you think about how that doesn’t leave you with energy for much else? A demanding porn habit will definitely drain your body of the mental and physical energy it needs to keep up with the daily hustle of life. By turning off the monitor, you can focus on being productive and making a difference in your life and others.

24. Regain Focus 

People often watch porn as an escape when they become overwhelmed by the daily decisions of life. Quitting porn allows you to assume responsibility and become accountable for your own goals. By getting this distraction out of your life, you can start to focus on the things that really matter to you.

25. Reclaim Self-Confidence

A belief in yourself is a huge casualty of consistent porn viewing. People who feel they are addicted who porn believe they are broken human beings with a damaged capacity to love and feel joy. These negative feelings come from your own negative feelings about porn mixed with your inability to quit, or from any of the negative side effects that go with repeatedly watching porn. By kicking the habit, you begin to be happy, which will fuel your confidence in all aspects of your life.

26. Protect Your Marriage

Addiction to pornography is cited as a major reason couples divorce annually around the world. Whether you are currently married or one day hope to be, it’s a sure bet that porn is a poisonous ingredient in a marriage. When porn is preferred to a healthy sexual relationship with a spouse, the outcome is often a broken home. With a risk as serious as this, it makes sense to remove porn from your life all together and avoid a bunch of issues in marriage.

27. Save Your Money

Porn is a global, $97 billion industry, with $12 billion of that coming from the United States. How much have you spent on it? Even if the answer is nothing, think about it this way: your time spent watching porn could have been spent on either A) making money or B) performing better at work where you could now be making more money. Time is money after all, and by focusing your time on porn you’re being very unproductive to say the least.

28. Maintain Your Natural Sexuality

Porn removes the concept of intimacy from sex. It teaches that sex is about taking selfish pleasure rather than giving love. When you fill your mind with the explicit material porn offers, it takes away the excitement of intimacy and even distorts your sexuality. By kicking the habit, your brain can return to normal and reset your arousal patterns to normal.

29. Protect Your Passions

The more you watch porn, the less you desire the things that previously got you excited. Hanging out with friends, playing sports, making music, etc., all these things lack the “shock factor” that porn gives the brain. Soon, you start to lose interest in anything that doesn’t bring the ultra-arousal of pornography. But not to worry, the sooner you cut out porn, the sooner you can restore a healthy and fulfilling approach to the things you care about most.

30. Prevent Sexual Compulsion/Addiction

Addiction is never a good thing, regardless of what it is. Porn can create a constant need for sex/sexual material that needs to be fueled, but is never truly satisfied. This cycle can quickly grow into an obsession for the viewer, which inhibits their ability to function like a normal person in the company of people, especially the opposite sex, and can also lead to serious harmful behaviors like soliciting prostitutes to act out what they’ve seen in porn. Not making porn a part of your life is a sure way to not step foot down a potentially life changing road.

31. Don’t Bond To A Screen

Oxytocin is commonly called the love hormone or the “bonding chemical” because it plays an important part in intimacy by connecting two people. Because the chemical is naturally released during sex, watching porn triggers the release of oxytocin as well, tricking your brain and essentially bonding you to the computer screen. Keep love real, and don’t take fake.

32. Prevent Anxiety

As talked about earlier, porn can be the onset of a number of different anxiety problems. When viewers feel like they have to be watching porn or can’t stop thinking about it, it creates serious anxiety. Not to mention, this anxiety can transfer over to the bedroom and contribute to porn-induced erectile dysfunction. Anxiety can be extremely crippling and most people experience it to on some level from the daily stresses of life as it is. Why add to it?

33. Prevent Depression

We know that pornography and other addictions are used as self-medicating tools which only lead to feeling worse than before. The momentary escape only leads to feeling lower than before. Porn is a negative influence in your life, and an easy way to start feeling happier and more free is giving it the boot.

34. Live Without Shame

It’s pretty simple: no porn equals no shame. The secrecy surrounding your habit can have huge negative effects on your life and shame can quickly settle in. You may find yourself watching things you find disgusting, but can’t seem to stop. When this feeling starts to take its toll, it usually leads to medicating with more porn. You’re guaranteed to feel relief when you break the chains of this vicious cycle.

35. Increase Productivity

Think about what more motivation could mean for you. Do you want to be more ambitious and driven? Are you wanting to achieve your goals? A survey of a Reddit community called NoFap, which is committed to breaking free from porn, found that 67% of those who quit had an increase in energy levels as well as productivity. Put it to the test for yourself. What are you waiting for?!

36. Be Better At Your Job

Besides the obvious fact that porn is a waste of time, viewing it can also make the viewer depressed and anxious, and make them perform worse at their job. In fact, real stories of people being caught watching porn at work prove that more and more people are putting their jobs at risk by looking at porn during work hours. Don’t let this destructive material ruin the things that matter most for your daily life.

37. Prevent STD’s

Researchers have repeatedly found that people who have seen a significant amount of porn are more likely to start having sex sooner and with more partners, and to engage in riskier kinds of sex, putting them at greater risk of getting sexually transmitted infections.

38. Be Proud of Yourself

By quitting porn, you’re taking a stand against a dangerous, exploitive industry and becoming an advocate for positive personal and social change. This is definitely something you can feel proud of. Change yourself, and change the world.

39. Better the World

Every single click made on a porn site is counted by the greedy companies that make that content. Clicking fuels the demand for more, feeding and growing a dark industry that harms society as a whole. For all of the harmful reasons mentioned above, stop contributing to something that ruins people’s lives and supports sexual exploitation. This negative influence doesn’t have to affect you, your peers or the countless people in the industry who are forced, coerced, and abused behind the camera. Take a stand and be the change you want to see in the world.

40. Love 

This is by far the most important reason to quit porn. Above all, porn can seriously come between you and your partner. It distorts the meaning of love and intimacy. The most common true stories we receive are from partners who lost the love of their life due to a struggle with porn that tore their relationship apart slowly but surely. We all want and need love. It’s the most important thing we can experience in life. If fighting for love isn’t the best reason to stay away from porn, we don’t know what is.

Porn kills love, but it doesn’t have to.

Choose love, not porn.


CASTIMONIA’S PARATUS MEN’S RETREAT 2017

Regular registration is now open for the retreat!  If you want to learn more about tools for your recovery and protecting your family online, then you should register for this retreat.

Also, as an added incentive, our ministry founder will be signing up men without sponsors to start an 18-month journey through the 12 Steps on Saturday mornings before the 10am meeting.  Sign up FIRST at this retreat!

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/castimonias-paratus-mens-retreat-2017-tickets-36664868609

Here is some information on the retreat.  I pray that the Lord uses this retreat to help men in their sexual purity journey.  The link to register for the retreat will be available later this Summer.

Friday, November 3rd – Sunday, November 5th

Castimonia’s Paratus Retreat is a retreat for any man who struggles with any type of sexual purity.  Paratus is Latin for equipped.

If you are wondering about whether to attend this retreat, ask yourself these questions:

  • Are you fully equipped for the spiritual battle that is raging around us right now?
  • Are you a man who strives for biblical sexual purity?
  • Are you a man who struggles with maintaining that sexual purity?
  • Do you want a circle of brothers helping you in your sexual purity journey?

Join us for a weekend dedicated to equipping adult men of all ages, all walks of life, and various levels of struggle with the tools necessary to wage this spiritual battle and emerge on the other side as the sexually pure men that God intended us to be.

At the retreat, we will discuss strategies for equipping ourselves with tactics necessary for battling the enemy. We will discover the true meaning of brotherhood and fellowship. The leaders of the retreat will set the example of vulnerability and accountability. We hope to pave the way for all men to be fully equipped to wage war against Satan’s tempting assaults and emerge VICTORIOUS.

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/castimonias-paratus-mens-retreat-2017-tickets-36664868609

Regular Registration  October 1st – November 1st – $200


Originally posted at: http://intentionalwarriors.com/2017/10/01/grieving-hugh-hefner/

by james tarring cordrey

I saw my first Playboy magazine when i was nine years old. That night changed my life, and not for the better.

It wasn’t glamourous. It wasn’t liberating. But it was intoxicating.

Shortly after news of Hugh Hefner’s death broke, the post mortem on his legacy began. Many have weighed in: tributes from celebrities and women who posed for his magazine hereand here; condemnation from feminists here and here; a scathing piece in the New York Times here; and religious commentary here.

It’s not surprising that so many people have something to say about the man and his impact on culture given his mission was to push the limits of society with the “Playboy Philosophy,” which he called a “new morality.”

Playboy wasn’t merely “Entertainment for Men,” as the magazine’s tagline read. It was a broadside against traditional sexual mores, which Hefner considered “not natural,” nor “logical”; and therefore “not truly moral.” (Hefner appeared on the PBS show Firing Line in 1966 and discussed the Playboy Philosophy at length with the show’s host, the late William F. Buckley, Jr.).

At nine, i knew nothing of the Playboy Philosophy, but it had a direct impact my life just the same. i am not alone. The same intoxication i experienced that night in the mid 1970s is the same feeling countless men have experienced.

Hefner has been lauded as a pioneer of sexual liberation, but he didn’t free anyone. He did, however, enslave many.

Just ask the men who became addicted to pornography and their wives — or their ex-wives; the girlfriends of men addicted to pornography; or the women who suffer under the frustration that men their own age won’t marry them — or sometimes won’t even date them — as a result of Hefner’s influence.

Men who followed Hefner’s advice now fill up recovery group meetings on a weekly basis, dealing with damaged relationships, destroyed marriages, unemployment which stems from getting fired for watching pornography on the job, confusion about how to relate to women in a healthy way, conflicting messages about what it means to be a man in this world, and on and on and on.

It took a while for my anger at Hefner and other pornographers to subside years ago when i was first working through my recovery, but it did eventually. Now i feel a certain commonality with Ethan Renoe, who — regarding Hefner — wrote: “I don’t celebrate his death; I’m more brokenhearted by how he lived his life.”

His life and his empire illustrate the great emptiness that inevitably come from pursuing a porn lifestyle. You keep discarding women of your own age in favor of younger and more enhanced ones, eventually getting to the point where the women you seek are young enough to be your grand daughters.

And no matter how many you have, it’s never enough.

The mainstreaming of pornography is something that some praise as liberating, while others condemn it as misogynistic and sexually exploitative. All can agree that Hefner was the man responsible for it.

The fruit of Hefner’s work was ultimately to sever the connection between sexual activity and meaningful relationship. He accomplished that by promoting women as sexual objects rather than extolling their whole womanhood: their intellect, the true beauty of their souls, and their marvelous complexity.

That seems like misogyny and sexual exploitation to me.

Craig Gross at XXXChurch was quick to write a commentary piece on Hefner’s death in which he makes the point that Jesus loves Hugh Hefner.  While it will grate on many people to think that Jesus could love a pornographer like Hefner, it’s important to say that it’s true.

Jesus loves those who seem beyond love.

As a former porn addict who was spinning more and more out of control until He reached into my life, i rely on the power and truth of Jesus’ love; therefore, i am compelled to agree with Gross on that point.

But it’s important that when we say that “Jesus loves Hugh Hefner” that we also acknowledge the truly wicked things Hefner did, not out of spite or condemnation from those who are holier-than-thou, but in order to honor those who were — and still are — victims of his work.

Hefner’s life was grievous. He gave us poisonous fruit and we need to name that. He was an example of what not to be as a man. The challenging thing for those of us who struggle with pornography addiction is owning the fact that we would become just like Hefner without God’s intervention.

Pornography is tragic, and so was the man who brought it into the mainstream.


Addicted to Porn: Chasing the Cardboard Butterfly Film Event

Register here: http://houstonsfirst.org/event/addicted-to-porn-chasing-the-cardboard-butterfly-film-event

A film event for parents, grandparents, men, women, singles — anybody in high school and above

Like it or not, porn is here and it is harmful. In this timely film, award-winning filmmaker Justin Hunt tactfully examines the impact of pornography on societies around the globe, from how it affects individuals’ brains, to the increased exposure of youth due to modern technology, to how porn literally can tear a family apart.

Dinner is available for purchase before the film, and a free dessert reception with the director will take place after the film.

About The Film

  • Addicted to Porn does not include any provocative imagery.
  • The film is narrated by James Hetfield, co-founder of Metallica.
  • Learn more about Addicted to Porn on the film’s official website.

Cost & Registration

  • $5 per ticket
  • $10 per ticket with dinner included
  • No charge for dessert reception
  • Registration for dinner and the movie is now available and will continue until Wed, Sep 27

Schedule

  • 5:45–6:45p — Dinner available
  • 7–8:30p — Film screening
  • 8:30p — Dessert reception

Register here: http://houstonsfirst.org/event/addicted-to-porn-chasing-the-cardboard-butterfly-film-event


From: NonUnknown.com

Even when the rain falls
Even when the flood starts rising
‘Cause even when the storm comes
I am washed by the water

“Washed by the Water”NEEDTOBREATHE

It is like a person building a house who digs deep and lays the foundation on solid rock. When the floodwaters rise and break against that house, it stands firm because it is well built. – Luke 6:48 (NLT)

I apologize now for the analogy, but it is Jesus who used it, not me. In Luke chapter 6, Christ talks about our foundations. He specifically mentions digging deep to lay a foundation on solid rock. I was at a men’s meeting this week. The speaker, a man I know in recovery, was speaking primarily to an audience of about seventy men about digging deep. He referenced Luke 6:48 as to why its important to lay a foundation on solid rock.

I really liked how he focused on what you do before you lay a foundation. You dig deep. Much like many of us have been doing during this time after a catastrophe. We have physically been helping others or ourselves dig deep to clean out all of the junk before we rebuild on a solid foundation. We have emptied out the ruin from houses, saturated and mildewed by the flood and the storm. So we can prepare for the next storm.

Just before verse 48, as I look back into Luke, Jesus was making a point. He was giving an example of what it looks like when someone comes to Him, listens to His teaching, and then follows it. They dig deep, clean up their mess, build on a solid foundation. Verse 49 describes what happens when someone builds with no foundation. When they are self sufficient. When the storms come, they can’t handle them and are washed away.

Most of my life I have been self sufficient. I thought I could handle the storms. I hoped that none would come and I would acted surprised when they did. I missed the points Christ made. I missed that He didn’t say “if” the floods of life come. He said “when” the floods of life come. I missed that he instructed us to dig deep, find a firm foundation. I came to Him, I just didn’t do the rest. I didn’t listen to His teaching and make it my life’s work. I didn’t have a firm foundation. Then the storms came, the flood waters rose, and I was washed away. Every time.

I seek daily now to implement the directions Christ gave us in Luke 6. Each day I come to Him through prayer, Bible study, and fellowship with my brothers in Christ. I listen to His teaching through studying His word and seeking direction from His teachers. I try to follow it daily. I am broken in a broken world. I have to daily dig deep and clean out my house and reset my foundation. My foundation is able and strong. Even though I am not.