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Narcissism and Sex Addiction

Posted on July 23, 2013 by

“I want you to tell my husband that he is a narcissist.” This statement is repeated in my office several times each year by partners of sex addicts. At the root of the comment is the fact that these partners have witnessed many selfish behaviors by the sex addict. They believe that must mean that the sex addict has narcissistic personality disorder.

Many sex addicts are very selfish. In fact, we could safely say that their behaviors are narcissistic. However, narcissistic personality disorder is a rare disorder that is present in less than 1% of the population. Thankfully, most sex addicts are not dually diagnosed as having narcissistic personality disorder.

But the fact remains that sex addicts can be very selfish. If you are a sex addict, try keeping a daily journal where you record instances of selfishness each day. Be sure to include any instances where your partner or someone else pointed out that you tend to think of yourself first.

Are you a narcissist? Maybe. Maybe not. What matters today is that you refocus your life so that you are not the center of your universe. Today is a day for selflessness instead of selfishness.

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Kansas City Man Charged With Sex Trafficking and Child Porn

July 17
By MARK MORRIS
The Kansas City Star

A Kansas City man sexually abused two minor girls, using both to produce child pornography and prostituting one of them, a federal grand jury alleged this week.

Michael Dye, 46, purportedly made more than $200,000 on the scheme, which included fees to watch the girls sexually perform in online webcasts and gifts of cash, vehicles, appliances and remodeling projects at Dye’s home, prosecutors alleged.And once,  Dye threatened one of his victims that he would have her and her family killed if she ever told anyone about the abuse, prosecutors alleged.The charges alleged that Dye used two children to produce child porn between June 2005 and August 2008. Dye also allegedly prostituted one of the children between June 2005 and August 2007, prosecutors said.

The grand jury returned the sealed indictment on Tuesday, and it was opened Wednesday after his initial court appearance. Prosecutors have asked that Dye be jailed without bond pending his trial because they said he is likely to flee and is a threat to his victims.

Prosecutors alleged that after an interview with authorities in late 2012, Dye began to drive past  one of his victim’s homes.

“The minor victim advised that there is no reason why Dye would be driving by their home with that frequency unless it was to keep an eye on them and see whether they were meeting any more with law enforcement,” the detention motion stated.

Officials also alleged that Dye was a danger to himself, noting that Dye attempted suicide after being extensively questioned  four years ago.

“Dye has made numerous statements to the minor victims that rather than spend a lengthy time in jail he would instead commit suicide,” the detention motion stated.

Dye is charged with two counts of producing child pornography, two counts of selling child pornography and one count each of child sex trafficking and grooming a child to participate in child pornography.

If convicted on all counts, he faces a minimum of 15 years in prison and could be sentenced up to life.

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Federal Agents Arrest 255 Suspected Online Predators of Children

5:25 AM, Jul 16, 2013

ATLANTA — Federal agents announced Monday they arrested 255 people — three of them in the Atlanta area, and three of them elsewhere in Georgia — suspected of victimizing at least 61 children online.

The suspects were arrested in June during a nationwide crackdown against the exploitation of children on the Internet.

“There’s a tremendous amount of it out there,” said Brock Nicholson in Atlanta, one of the top investigators in charge of the operation, who said agents were “finding the worst of the worst.”

Nicholson is Special Agent in Charge of Homeland Security Investigations for U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement in Georgia and the Carolinas. His agents joined other agents across the country in the operation, called “Operation iGuardian.”

“We rescued 61 victims of abuse, which is our main focus,” Nicholson said.

Agents who conducted the sweep said one of the ways predators lured children is through “sextortion.”

“Sextortion is one of the tools,” Nicholson said, “where basically an individual will, through the Internet, meet children at various websites, whether it be through a video game website,” or social media sites. “They’re going to where the kids are,” he said, and they befriend the kids.  “And they get the child comfortable with them… convince the child to do something they know that’s going to seem wrong, then threaten the child… then this sextortion thing comes in, ‘Hey look,’ you know, ‘I’ll tell your parents you’re looking at this unless you do A, B, C,'” and the predators ultimately make their demands, such as demanding that the children take sexually-explicit photos of themselves, or demanding that the children meet them. The children comply because they are too frightened to say no.

“You have to remember, they’re going after a very young mind,” Nicholson said, and the predators “are very skilled at getting children to do things that are absolutely heinous.”

Nicholson said Homeland Security Investigators are launching “an aggressive outreach program, with schools and parents’ groups, and anyone that will listen,” an education campaign that will begin in about a month; they will take every opportunity to meet parents to underscore the urgency of keeping their children out of harm’s way online.

One way of protecting them:  monitoring their children’s Internet use constantly. A tall order, but possible, he said.

“It’s so important that parents not worry about their child feeling like [the parents are] overdoing it with checking on them. You can’t overdo it enough, you need to not only see what your child is doing on the Internet, you need to teach them what to look for, and warn them that there are very bad individuals. I have two daughters, and trust me, I have had that conversation with them ad infinitum — ‘It’s not that I don’t trust you, I don’t trust the other folks that are out on the Internet.'”

The charges against the suspects are felonies, and “some sentences even go up to life,” if convicted, Nicholson said. Investigators continue to work the cases they developed in June. “we’ll follow up with the folks that we’ve arrested and see if we can determine if there are any more victims. We’ll certainly use every bit of energy we have to see if there are other folks that the guys were working with, or exchanging with. But we do this every day,” not just during special sweeps like the one in June.

“We get a great feeling of accomplishment when we can get one of these people off the street.”

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Silent Suffering

39774-sorgen-menschenLess than half of the men with mental health challenges ever get help for them. The reasons for this are many, including lack of information, stigma associated with mental illness, and masculine ideals. Men who adhere steadfastly to masculine norms, such as power, strength, and emotional control, may be most at risk for negative psychological outcomes. In fact, because so few men seek help for their problems, they are more vulnerable to suicide and substance abuse than females. Joshua L. Berger of Clark University’s Department of Psychology in Massachusetts wanted to examine the factors that prevent men from getting the help they need. In a recent study, Berger assessed the help seeking attitudes and avenues of men in need. He also looked at how they reacted to two common clinical terms: depression and anxiety. Overall, Berger found that the men who had the strongest affinity toward masculine norms were the least likely to seek help. They reacted the most dramatically to anxiety and depression, and were the least likely to consider medication as a treatment option. Berger also found that the men were more inclined to going to therapy if a psychotherapist recommended it rather than if it was suggested by a romantic partner or a family practitioner. They also cited individual talk therapy as their preferred mode of treatment. These findings demonstrate that even though friends and family members may mean well when offering help to their loved men in need of psychological treatment, suggestions from mental health professionals will have the most impact. Lowering men’s risk for suicide, drug and alcohol abuse, and other negative behaviors is paramount, and the evidence revealed in this study may bring the mental health profession one step closer toward achieving that goal. “Generally speaking, these results underscore the importance of considering the specific type of help under consideration when discussing men’s attitudes toward help-seeking,” Berger said. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/men-mental-health-treatment-1220121

“Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad.” – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

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Roger’s Story (Video)

Roger’s journey of recovery has allowed him to face the pain of his childhood sexual abuse and to see how much of his acting out was an attempt to prove that he had what it took to be a man.