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A Word for the Discouraged

A word for the discouraged

by Humble servant

The Lord is my Shepherd [to feed, to guide and to shield me],
I shall not want.
2 He lets me lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside the still and quiet waters.
3 He refreshes and restores my soul (life);
He leads me in the paths of righteousness
for His name’s sake.

4 Even though I walk through the [sunless] [a]valley of the shadow of death,
I fear no evil, for You are with me;
Your rod [to protect] and Your staff [to guide], they comfort and console me.
5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.
You have anointed and refreshed my head with [b]oil;
My cup overflows.
6 Surely goodness and mercy and unfailing love shall follow me all the days of my life,
And I shall dwell forever [throughout all my days] in the house and in the presence of the Lord. Psalm 23

Discouragement is a natural part of the Christian journey.  Young Christians when they are growing in their faith and experience discouragement for the first time often feel overwhelmed and often want to ask the question “has God left me”.

One thing  we come to understand as we grow in our relationship with God is exactly where discouragement comes from.  It comes from the mouth and the heart of the enemy.  Discouragement is actually built upon the lies of the enemy because it speaks of something that is not true.

One thing we know from God’s word as we study His word and meditate upon His word is that His promises are true and that He is faithful to accomplish His will and His plans.  He has created all of us with a plan and destiny and as we simply walk with Him on a daily basis He will fulfill His plans and His purposes in our lives.

But often times in our humanity we are led by our emotions and we allow our feelings to drive how we see the world around us.  The enemy will always try to overwhelm us with discouragement and fear as we grow deeper in our relationship with God.  The last thing he wants is someone walking in deep intimacy with Jesus Christ.  But what he fails to understand is that every time he attacks the Lord uses it to strengthen us and refine us.

The key is not withdrawing when we feel discouraged, but engaging and drawing near to the Lord.  The Lord desires to strengthen us and carry us through every trial and challenge we will face in our lives.  Many times in our pride we try to overcome things in our own strength and as a result we end up feeling overwhelmed and beat up.  But the Lord has designed it this way so that we would let go of our own strength and power and simply learn to rely fully upon Him.

His grace is sufficient and His strength is made perfect in our weakness.  Today if you are discouraged know that you are not alone.  Know that the Lord walks with you and that you simply need to ask Him for strength and for wisdom.  He will fulfill every plan and purpose He has created you for.  Simply stand upon His word and trust Him one step at a time.

Heavenly Father I come to you and ask you to move on the hearts of all those who are discouraged this day.  Father I ask that you would encourage them and strengthen them in you.  Father I pray you would give them eyes to see and ears to hear.  That they would come to understand the process of growth with you and understand that the challenges they face now are the preparation for the destiny you have for them tomorrow.  I pray Father you would lead them one step at a time and that you would surround them with your peace and your presence.  In the mighty name of Jesus, Amen.

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5 Reasons the Scriptures Say Sex Should Occur Only in Marriage

by Bob Lepine
Second of a series on God’s design for sexuality.

In part one of this Marriage Memo series on sexuality, I stated, “I think there’s something central and profound in the sexual act, as a part of a marriage designed by God. When a husband and wife become one flesh they experience a deep physical, emotional, and even spiritual oneness that binds them together.” 

But it does more than that. It also points to and reflects the goodness of God.  The Bible makes it clear that this sexual bond is meant to happen within marriage—obviously a point where our culture teaches a far different philosophy than God’s Word.  In that command God does not seek to punish us—He seeks to bless and protect us.
Here are five reasons why a sexual relationship should occur within the confines of marriage:

1.  Sex is meant to strengthen the marriage bond.  In marriage we enter into a covenant relationship with one another.  This covenant mirrors God’s covenant.  During the wedding ceremony we vow to remain committed “for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer … till death do us part.”  These promises echo the promise God makes to us when He adopts us into His family and unites Himself to us in Christ.  He has said that He will never leave us or forsake us.
God wants the husband and wife to be one. The recurring, ongoing participation in sex is the instrument that God uses so that we can experience a closer, richer, deeper relationship with one another.  When sex happens outside of the safe haven of a committed, loving covenant relationship—what used to be called “the bonds of matrimony” —you may still experience physical pleasure, but there will be an emptiness in your soul. There is something missing. There is a shallowness to the sexuality that we experience apart from a lifelong covenant.  

2. God wants to teach us more about the relationship between the Father, the Son, and the Spirit in the Trinity.  There is oneness within the Trinity—there are three persons, but they are one. In marriage, there are two persons, but they become one. In marriage we learn something about the intimacy that God enjoys within the context of the Trinity—the intimacy that the Father has with the Son, and the Son with the Spirit, and the Spirit with the Father and the Son.

3. God also wants to give us a picture of Christ’s relationship with the Church. (Ephesians 5:22-33).  In some mysterious way, the husband and wife relationship—and our sexuality—is tied to that picture.

4. A sexual relationship in marriage teaches us something about the nature of real love—God’s love.  Over a lifetime in marriage, we learn that in order for our sexuality to be expressed in the way that God intends it, the sexuality needs to be unselfish. Both husband and wife must be committed to pleasing each other and meeting each other’s needs.

5. It is best for the offspring of our sexual union to grow up in a home governed by a covenant relationship between a husband and a wife who love one another and are committed to each other.  If a child is growing up in a setting where there is one parent or where two parents are not bound together in covenant love with one another, that child is missing something.

Consider this:  If our sexual relationship is this powerful and this important, is it any wonder that Satan would take delight in trying to undermine, pervert, and destroy our human sexuality?  Is it any wonder that sex is so huge, so pervasive in our culture—and that the temptation to operate independently of God’s plan is so powerful?  I’ll take a closer look at this theme in the next Marriage Memo.  

Bob Lepine is co-host of FamilyLife Today®.  This article is adapted from a message he delivered at Redeemer Church in Little Rock, Arkansas. Go here to listen to the message on FamilyLife Today.

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What We Didn’t Get

“What We Didn’t Get”

by Cecil Murphey

I wrote an email to a hurting friend, who suffers from the effects of terrible things he’s done to others. I’m sorry for his pain, and delighted he’s facing himself. It takes courage to look at ourselves and admit that we committed acts we condemn in others. (In fact, condemning others for those very acts is often the way many try to cope with their issues.)

When I faced my childhood physical and sexual abuse, I learned an invaluable lesson. I don’t know if I read it, someone told me, or if God whispered it to me, but here’s the lesson: What we don’t receive in childhood, we spend our lives seeking—usually on an unconscious level.

Like most people I focused on the symptoms—not doing things I knew were wrong. Years ago while visiting an AA meeting, I heard the term “dry alcoholic” and that sums it up for me. Dry alcoholics no longer drink but their behavior doesn’t change.

I figured out that “unacceptable behavior” (a nice term to cover compulsive problems) is a painkiller. My dad and brothers killed their pain with beer. The most notorious gossip I’ve ever known died recently. Many times I’ve thought that carrying the latest news (true or not) gave her a sense of feeling significant, perhaps even important. The “medicine” each of them took for temporary relief usually worked temporarily.

Because of a loving God who worked in my life through my wife and my best friend, I was able to accept, struggle, and to have those needs fulfilled.

I was a lonely kid who felt different from those around him. When I was 18 months old, a dog attacked me and left terrible scars on my face. Plastic surgery took care of most of the visible scars, but the invisible ones remained for years.

The worst part of my childhood is that I never felt loved. As I ponder some of the things I did which made me feel guilty and ashamed, I now say to myself, “It was my way of searching for what I didn’t receive as a child.”

I’m probably no different from some of you, so I repeat the sentence that pushed me to face reality: What we don’t receive in childhood, we spend our lives seeking—usually on an unconscious level.

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The Art of Consideration

Many parents, especially in their later years, are alone as their children refuse to come near them as a result of being treated disrespectfully during their formative years. Many of such parents wish for their children; however, it was they who initiated the ill treatment which resulted in their children becoming totally alienated from them. Their children have emotionally, mentally, and psychologically severed ties with them forever. Some such parents become totally depressed and dejected that their children do not love or want to be near/with them; however, they sowed the seeds of such. There is a saying that children respond to parents and the outer environment the way they were treated in the parental home. Many parents refuse to admit that they can treated their children less than humanely yet they expect their children to afford them the utmost of love and respect. They are incognizant of the fact that in order for their children to love and respect them, they first have to love and treat their children with respect. Children tend to love and respect parents who treat them thus. Parents who love and respect their children treat their children as individuals with their own feelings and desires. They do not try to overrule nor to override their children’s feelings, desires, and/or opinions because they are children. They contend that although children are full entities, they are still developing human beings. These parents contend that developing human beings are bound to make some mistakes along the way, after all they are children and that is par for the course. They see such mistakes as natural and not a cause of alarm. Respectful and loving parents do not believe in discounting their children for whatever reason. They strongly maintain that whatever their children have to say or do, no matter how minor, is significant enough for them to pay attention to. They believe that their children are important enough for them to give the latter their time. They practice and teach the art of consideration to their children. When they enforce rules, they take into account their children’s respective emotional, mental, and/or psychological make up and act accordingly. From an article by G. M. Williams
http://gmwilliams.hubpages.com/hub/Children-React-to-Their-Parents-The-Very-Way-THEY-are-Treated

Fathers,
do not provoke your children,
lest they become discouraged.
Colossians 3:21

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Do As They Say, Not As They Do

Many parents vehemently believe that they can treat their children as lesser and/or subordinate entities. According to their reasoning, the latter are just mere children while they are the adults of the house thus what they say and/or do goes. They staunchly contend that as parents, they have the right to treat their children in any fashion they please. After all, they strongly assert that this is their parental right and prerogative. They furthermore proclaim that their children are to obey and respect them regardless. There are parents who treat their children in ways that would be classified as mildly, even moderately abusive. Many parents view methods such as belittlement of the child as regular parental procedures. These parents feel that they do not have to respect and honor their children as it is totally unnecessary. They insist that their children are not individual beings but their appendages to mold and bend to their specific will. While they treat their children in any which way, they are the ones who strongly and loudly proclaim that their children are to love and respect them. They become highly incensed when their children exhibit the same attitude as they do. They consider such behavior insolence while it is okay when they act that way. Their philosophy is that their child had better do as they say, not as they do. These parents treat their children in less than humane ways, yet they are profoundly quizzical as to why their children detest, even hate them. Furthermore, their children barely tolerate them at best. Their children grudgingly respect them. There is definitely no love lost between them and their children. They are totally aghast… at the fact that their children are cold and distant or worse towards them. They look at other parents who have loving parent-child relationships, wondering to themselves what went wrong. These parents do not or care to realize that the less than respectful treatment accorded to their children backfired on them. No self-respecting child is going to abide with disrespectful treatment without reciprocating in kind either physically, emotionally, mentally, and/or psychologically.

“Childhood should be carefree, playing in the sun; not living a nightmare in the darkness of the soul.” – Dave Pelzer