CASTIMONIA

Sexual Purity Support & Recovery Group

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Symptoms of Addiction to Masturbation and Pornography

Posted on July 8, 2013 by maqilrahil96

Here is a FEW symptoms of addictions to pornography and masturbation addictions based on my own experiences and research which all i have experienced.

  • Losing high amounts of energy (becoming sluggish, lazy, sleepy etc.)
  • Caring less of other things that you would normally care about.
  • Spending more time alone with pornography or masturbating than doing regular activities.
  • Isolating yourself and becoming attached to the environment in which you masturbate and watch porn.
  • Having more than frequent mood swings for usually the littlest things and not bigger things.
  • Talking less with people, becoming anti-social, very quiet, scared to communicate, etc.
  • Becoming more ‘violent’
  • Experiencing decreased depression.
  • Feeling guilty or horrible after viewing porn/masturbating.
  • No ability to focus.
  • Memory loss
  • Feeling less aroused and/or interested with the opposite sex in reality.
  • Negative minded thought consisting of sex and/or unwanted thoughts.
  • Having eye troubles.
  • Body pains.
  • No desire for your past desires but instead desire things that you don’t like.
  • Unable to think, process thoughts, having a corrupted mind.

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Lingering and Waiting

For those men who have been sexually abused as a child, I encourage you to attend our Barrayo meeting on Tuesday nights in Sugar Land.  Please contact Barrayo@merimnao.org for more details.

cut-the-stringsThe more you face the truth, the angrier you will probably become. You have a right to be angry about being sexually abused. You have a right to be angry with the perpetrator, regardless of who it was, how long ago the sexual abuse occurred, or how much he/she has changed. From “The Right to Innocence” By Beverly Engel

“I’ve tried to cut it out, to starve it out, to purge myself of this inherent evil he rubbed off on me. I’ve tried it all; pills and booze, food and lack of food, bruises, cuts and burns. My mind’s shut down, refusing to remember. My emotions have gone on leave, and despite all this, I can still feel the darkness inside me, lingering and waiting to engulf me again.” – From “Power” A poem by Caiti Le

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Finding Help

For those men who have been sexually abused as a child, I encourage you to attend our Barrayo meeting on Tuesday nights in Sugar Land.  Please contact Barrayo@merimnao.org for more details.

abused-boy

Survivors of childhood sexual abuse may experience a range of emotions and effects that impact many aspects of their adult lives:

Anger ,Shame, Guilt, Depression, Anxiety, Denial and minimizing, Difficulty in trusting others, Sexual difficulties, Difficulties with relationships, Flashbacks, Memory disorders, Self-blame and self-doubt, Physical health problems, Eating disorders, [and] Substance abuse. Any or all of these aftereffects can combine to produce feelings of depression, isolation and hopelessness. All of these feelings and reactions are normal responses to traumatic experiences. Acknowledging the pain can be the first step in working through the abuse. You deserve support in healing from childhood sexual abuse. You have the right to be believed and listened to, and to express your feelings about the abuse.

Remember:

• You are not alone, and you can get help finding support for all of the ways that childhood abuse impacts your life.

• Local rape crisis centers have information on how to begin healing from your trauma. You can talk to someone over the phone or the center may offer individual counseling and support groups to assist you on the path to recovery. They can offer you referrals for social services or for legal help, too.

• There are many ways to heal from childhood abuse. A counselor can help you create a healing plan that meets your individual needs.

• Help is also available for the important people in your life. Your spouse or partner, friends, family members, children or others may want to seek information so that they can understand your needs and challenges.

• There are people who will listen to you, who understand, and who will help you on your recovery path. You are not alone.
http://www.miamidade.gov/police/victim-adult-victims.asp

“The most important thing in defining child sexual abuse is the experience of the child. It takes very little for a child’s world to be devastated.” – Laura Hough

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Adult Victims of Child Sexual Abuse

For those men who have been sexually abused as a child, I encourage you to attend our Barrayo meeting on Tuesday nights in Sugar Land.  Please contact Barrayo@merimnao.org for more details.

gty_boy_rear_view_jt_111120_wgThe sexual abuse of children spans all races, ages, ethnic groups and economic backgrounds. Sexual abuse means any kind of unwanted or inappropriate sexual behavior with a child, whether or not there is actual physical contact. Tragically, this kind of abuse is not rare; studies estimate that one in four girls and one in seven boys are sexually abused as children. Abusers can be family members, friends of the family, authority figures or strangers. It is impossible to tell if someone is an abuser by simply looking – they may be someone who is highly respected in society and who has a good reputation. Most child victims knew and trusted the people who abused them. Children are absolutely dependent on adults for their physical and emotional survival, and abusers have many ways of wielding this power over children. Abusers may use threats to coerce children, such as the threat of harm to them or their loved ones and withholding of love and affection. They may tell a child that he or she is special, that the abuse is a way to show love for the child, or that the child is responsible for the abuse. If you are a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, it is important to remember that no matter what you may have been told, the abuse was not your fault and you are not alone.

http://www.miamidade.gov/police/victim-adult-victims.asp

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Marital Fidelity in a MySpace (Facebook) World

Today, couples face old temptations coming repackaged with a new, technological twist. Bob Waliszewski explores how married couples should preserve fidelity in the face of computers, anonymity and MySpace (Facebook).

by Bob Waliszewski

From the first relationship in the Garden itself, it’s clear spouses don’t always have their partner’s best interest in mind.

You know the story – the serpent tempted Eve who in turn coaxed Adam who was with her to bite into the forbidden fruit. Adam, of course, was Eve’s husband, her helpmate, her friend, her confidant. And yet, there’s nothing in the Genesis account that would indicate Eve struggled with her decision to involve Adam. Did she not care about him? Did she not love him? Certainly, but isn’t it interesting that “love” just wasn’t enough of a protection in this particular situation?

In a nutshell, Eve bit hook, line and sinker when the devil convinced her that the real reason God didn’t want her to eat the fruit was because he was trying to withhold from them something exceedingly good. In essence, the serpent was calling God a liar. All of a sudden Eve went from someone completely vested in her husband to one who contributed to his downfall (which is not to say Adam didn’t have the responsibility for his own actions).

It doesn’t take a degree in Marriage and Family to realize that husbands and wives have for thousands of years been making similarly selfish decisions, many with lifelong negative consequences. One thing that is different, however, is that in today’s world, couples face technologically-driven temptations along this line as well. Old enticements often come repackaged with a new twist using today’s computers and the anonymity that comes within cyberworld.

A MySpace (Facebook) World

Obviously, the Internet has introduced pornography into many, many homes. Although a huge problem, I want to focus on less obvious temptations affecting some marriages. For instance, the other day while doing research about social networking sites, I stumbled upon a MySpace profile that I’m sure represents untold thousands. Here was a man who described himself as married with several children. But he had built his entire online profile describing himself as some type of, well, I’ll use the term “sex-god.” He had posted photos of women in various sensual poses, often with very little clothing. In an online poll he had pasted into his site, he had asked sexually-oriented questions in inappropriate fashion.

I couldn’t help but wonder why a married man would do such a thing? Nor could I help but wonder what his wife or children would think if they discovered his secret online “life.” (Perhaps his wife does know, which presents a whole other set of problems). Because the Internet world is considered a private domain where the user can be anonymous, this man apparently felt safe to try and make himself out to be some sort of Casanova.

Whatever the reason, he’s certainly not alone. Just ask Sue Hoogestraat. According to an article in The Wall Street Journal, she was understandably upset when she discovered her husband had a virtual marriage in Second Life, a fictional cyberworld where online visitors participate in commerce, sex and relationships, and build their own imaginary world. Although Ric Hoogestraat had never met, or even spoken with, Janet Speilman, the woman who controlled her online character, the two constantly spent time “together” in cyberspace – eventually “marrying.” “It’s really devastating,” expressed Sue. “You talk to someone or bring them a drink, and they’ll be having sex with a cartoon.” Ric can’t understand why his wife would have a problem with his online escapades. In his mind, it’s all a big game. But is it?

The Dangers of Anonymity

Brad Paisley’s hit country single, “Online,” humorously describes a pudgy loner who boasts of chatting with several women online (or at least he thinks they’re women). As he chats, he claims to be taller and thinner than he actually is. Although the song intentionally pokes fun at how people can and do represent themselves via the anonymity of the Internet, it’s no laughing matter when a married person goes online intentionally looking for someone to fill a need that only his or her spouse should satisfy.

Some may argue that having an edgy social networking profile, carrying on online relationships and chatting within cyberspace is relatively innocent stuff because there’s no intention of really getting involved physically. I’d argue to the contrary. It’s not just getting involved physically that crosses the line, it’s the very desire to play around online in an area involving a certain amount of intimacy.

For some married individuals who feel under-appreciated and under-respected, the anonymity of the Web allows for a chance to flirt and pretend. What could be wrong with that? Dr. David Jeremiah, commenting about a list of “hedges” that individuals need to put up to guard their marriages, had this to say about flirting: “Never flirt, even in jest. Never flirt with someone other than your [spouse].” Of course, flirting used to be something that primarily occurred face-to-face. Not any more. Flirting can now take place through chat, text message, IM, online gaming and profiles. Still, Dr. Jeremiah’s advice is valid.

The Gift of Intimacy

The author of Proverbs offers incredible advice along these lines when he says: “Drink water from your own cistern, running water from your own well. …May you rejoice in the wife of your youth…may her breasts satisfy you always. …Why be captivated, my son, by an adulteress?” (Proverbs 5:15-20, NIV) Clearly, the writer is not referring to actual water but to the intimacy that occurs in marriage. Furthermore, this water is more than just the sexual aspect. It includes the closeness, the oneness and the entire sense of unity that a husband and wife can and do experience when they do things God’s way.

One of the greatest gifts the Lord ever gave us was the gift of intimacy. As described in the Bible, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh” (Matthew 19:5, NIV). Jesus added, “So they are no longer two, but one” (Matthew 19:6, NIV). It’s that oneness, that intimacy, that water that married individuals are called upon by marriage’s Creator to guard closely, pray about regularly and fight for diligently.

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