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Character Defects

April 4, 2013 By Castimonia

Effects of Childhood Sexual Abuse, Part 2

Effects of abuse, part 2
By Paul Irby Special to the Abilenian
Abilene Reporter-News
Posted January 7, 2009 at 11:28 a.m.

Last month we examined the multifaceted reasons why some children who are sexually abused seem to have more intense and pervasive effects from the abuse and why other children seem more resilient. This month we begin taking a look at what some of those effects can be. Just as the factors leading to these effects are multifaceted, these impacts are multidimensional. Also, keep in mind that the effects mentioned are possibilities, and not all survivors of abuse will experience all of the signs or symptoms detailed in this and subsequent articles. Although we are going to be examining these dimensional impacts in separate articles, they are connected. We know that how we think and what we believe influences the way we feel, and how we feel influences our behavior. Therefore, we begin our discussion with the cognitive or mental impacts sexual abuse can have on its’ victims.

Flashbacks and nightmares are two of the more widely known residual cognitive manifestations. Flashbacks can be triggered environmentally or experienced as unexpected seemingly spontaneous intrusive thoughts. The most common environmental triggers are associated with sight and smell. Seeing the abuser (or even someone resembling the abuser), visiting the location of the abuse, and encountering odors associated with the abuser or location of the abuse are obvious triggers. More subtle triggers are associated with other senses, such as hearing certain phrases, voice tones, inflections and encountering certain textures.

Flashbacks are generally experienced in one of two ways. Either the survivor experiences memories of the abuse like a terribly vivid movie playing in their mind, or they have a memory that causes them to consider all the ways they could have done something differently, further exacerbating the harmful myth that they had a role in perpetuating the abuse.

Nightmares are an issue that deals with the unpredictable and irrational subconscious, and therefore it is difficult to have truly insightful comment. Therefore, my input here is fairly limited. Nightmares can have varying degrees of frequency and intensity. Some experience recurrent nightmares (the same nightmare over and over), while others have different nightmares that reflect or distort what they encountered. Some antidepressant medications, such as Cymbalta, have been associated with more vivid and realistic feeling dreams. Please consult your prescribing physician if you have questions related to medication side-effects.

Beliefs that survivors of abuse develop about themselves and the world around them are other devastating cognitive impacts. Consider for a moment your own experience of sitting in a restaurant and noticing couples or families sitting together and seemingly enjoying a meal. It is most people’s natural tendency to assume the best about those whom we observe. We assume the couple are happy and in love or that the family is healthy and stable.

Between the ages of 10 and 13 children begin to develop more abstract, deductive and inductive reasoning. Along with this development, the abused child comes to the correct understanding that his home life and/or experiences are different from what he has seen on the Disney channel or read about in books. This child who is at school or other social places with peers begins to make the same assumptions as we do. However, these assumptions often lead to the distorted belief that no one else’s home life is like theirs and, therefore, they are different from everyone else.

Being exposed to the trauma of sexual abuse often leads its’ victims to believe that the world or certain aspects of it are untrustworthy and unsafe. This is especially true of the child who is abused by a parent or other family member who is “supposed to be” trusted. It is these core beliefs that the child develops about themselves and the world around them that lead to feelings of depression, anxiety, fear, anger, shame and guilt that will be explored in this article next month.

Paul Irby, M.A., is a licensed professional counselor with the Ministry of Counseling and Enrichment. Mental Health Matters is facilitated by the Mental Health Association in Abilene.

Original article found here:
http://www.reporternews.com/news/2009/jan/07/effects-abuse-part-2/

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: abuse, addiction, affair, Affairs, alcohol, alcoholic, anonymous sex partners, call girls, castimonia, Character Defects, child abuse, child sexual abuse, children, christian, Emotions, escorts, father wound, gratification, healing, human trafficking, Intimacy, lust, masturbation, porn, porn star, pornography, pornstar, pornstars, prostitute, prostitutes, ptsd, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sex partners, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, spouses, STD, strippers, trauma

April 1, 2013 By Castimonia

Effects of Childhood Sexual Abuse, Part 1

April is designated as abuse prevention month for the state of Texas.  Therefore, the majority of posts for this month will orbit around childhood abuse and the effects of such abuse.  I pray that our world can come to a place where no child is ever abused again!

Effects of abuse, part 1
By Paul Irby Special to the Abilenian
Abilene Reporter-News
Posted December 3, 2008 at 11:21 a.m.

It seems the sexual abuse of children is an epidemic in our society. This evil respects no boundaries of gender, race, ethnicity or socioeconomic status. The Mental Health Association of Abilene recognizes thousands of people in the Big Country have been impacted by this epidemic. Therefore, executive director Kirk Hancock has commissioned the penning of six articles over the course of six months for the purpose of educating the general public regarding the potential developmental impacts of sexual abuse on its victims.

When approaching the discussion of this subject, it is important to note there are no standard or predictable outcomes, and some seem to adjust better post-abuse than others.

For the next five months, Mental Health Matters will have articles highlighting how specific dimensions of a person can be impacted by sexual abuse. These articles will take a “shotgun” approach to describing potential impacts. It should be noted not all survivors of sexual abuse will experience all the effects discussed, and the intensity with which others endure their respective impacts will differ. Therefore, it stands to reason that we first answer the question of what factors influence the intensity of the adverse developmental impacts on a child who has been sexually abused.

The duration and frequency of the abuse is one important component to consider. Some children experience the abuse on a daily, weekly or monthly frequency for a duration of months or years. Others have endured less chronic or isolated instances of abuse. It is this latter group that has the least amount of susceptibility to adverse consequences down the road.

Another consideration is the kind of abuse perpetrated. Survivors with the most intense developmental impacts are those who sustained penetration orally, anally or vaginally. The invasive nature of these acts adds to the already deep sense of violation, both physically and psychologically. Sexual abuse can include less invasive, yet still horrific, forms such as manual stimulation and groping over the clothes.

The response of adults to the child’s disclosure of the abuse is another vital piece to understanding the resilience of some abused children.

Common mistakes parents and other significant adults make when a child musters the courage to disclose the abuse are not believing the child, blaming the child or defining the child by the abuse. The lack of support, blame and even punishment of the child can have just as devastating impacts as the actual abuse.

Other factors include the age and temperament of the child, the presence of violence or intimidation, along with the sexual abuse and the relationship of the abuser to the abused.

While nothing positive exists in an abusive situation, there are “best case” scenarios. Bear in mind, even children who come from a “worst case” scenario who access quality professional help and have a solid social support system can not only survive, but thrive.

Next month we will explore possible mental or cognitive impacts sexual abuse can have on a child.

Paul Irby, M.A., is a licensed professional counselor with the Ministry of Counseling and Enrichment. Mental Health Matters is facilitated by the Mental Health Association in Abilene.

Original article found here:
http://www.reporternews.com/news/2008/dec/03/effects-abuse-part-1it-seems-sexual-abuse-children/

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: abuse, addiction, affair, Affairs, alcohol, alcoholic, anonymous sex partners, call girls, castimonia, Character Defects, child abuse, children, children looking at porn, christian, Emotions, escorts, father wound, gratification, healing, human trafficking, Intimacy, lust, masturbation, meeting, porn, porn star, pornography, pornstar, pornstars, prostitute, prostitutes, ptsd, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sex partners, sexual, sexual abuse, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, spouses, strippers, trauma

March 15, 2013 By Castimonia

Porn Turned Thousands of British Children into Sex Offenders, Report Says

by Ben Johnson
Mon Mar 04, 2013 17:27 EST

LONDON, March 4, 2013, (LifeSiteNews.com) – Pornography and depictions of sexuality have turned more than 4,500 British children – some of them as young as five – into sexual offenders, according to a UK-based child welfare charity.

A Freedom of Information Act request showed that 4,562 minors – 98 percent of them boys – committed 5,028 sexual offenses over a three year period, from 2009-2012.

Three separate police forces reported five-year-olds committing sexual offenses.  However, the London Telegraph reports, “the true figure” of total offenders “could be even higher as nine forces, including the three largest – the Metropolitan Police, Greater Manchester Police and West Midlands Police – could not provide the relevant figures.”

Twenty percent of cases reported involved a family member. In another third, a family friend was victimized.

“We know that technology and easy access to sexual material is warping young people’s views of what is ‘normal’ or acceptable behavior,” said Claire Lilley, policy adviser at The National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children (NSPCC).

The report’s content, though specific to Great Britain, contains universal truths.

“Child-on-child sex abuse and rape is a growing problem in every culture where pornography flourishes,” Patrick Trueman, a former federal prosecutor in the Reagan administration and president of Morality In Media, told LifeSiteNews.com.

“Children act out what they see. If they see acts of love and charity, they will mimic those,” Trueman said. “But when they see sexual violence, domination, rape, and other similar acts so commonly depicted in modern-day pornography, as today’s children do, they will act out those, as well.”

The British report joins an accumulating mound of heart wrenching stories showing how pornography has permanently scarred children around the world – both the victims and the perpetrators.

In the Australian state of Victoria alone, 414 minors were referred for sexual offenses to the Centres Against Sexual Assault (CASA) last year. Just more than half could be placed in rehabilitation programs.

Therapists continually cite the role access to pornography and sexually explicit television scenarios play in sexualizing children and, in some cases, triggering them to exploit others.

Child therapist John Woods of London reported a case of a 13-year-old boy who raped his five-year-old sister after developing a “complex fantasy world” warped by “two years of constant porn use.”

Similar reports come from North America.

In Canada, a 13-year-old boy said his gay porn consumption led to his repeated rape of a four-year-old boy who lived in his foster home.

The omnipresent flickers of porn have caused alarm at the highest levels of European government.

A cross-party report from the British parliament found most boys learned about sex by watching pornography, an influence that “negated the primacy of relationships whilst promoting a self-centered focus of sex.”

That influence magnifies anti-social behavior. A 2010 study from Australia’s La Trobe University found boys who watch porn are more likely to harass girls. Nearly one-third of British girls aged 16-18 said they experienced unwanted sexual touching in a 2010 YouGov poll.

“We must do more to shield young people from an increasingly sexualized society,” Lilley said.

As a result of cases such as these, Iceland is considering banning pornography because of the harm it inflicts on women and children.

The move touched off fierce debate in the UK. This report elevates that discussion to a new importance.

“The world is suffering an untreated pandemic of harm from pornography and children are suffering the most,” Trueman told LifeSiteNews.

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, affair, Affairs, anonymous sex partners, call girls, castimonia, Character Defects, christian, current-events, Emotions, escorts, father wound, former federal prosecutor, gratification, greater manchester police, healing, human trafficking, Intimacy, Jesus Christ, lust, masturbation, politics, porn, porn star, pornography, pornstar, pornstars, prostitute, prostitutes, ptsd, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sex partners, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, society, spouses, strippers, trafficking, trauma, west midlands police

February 25, 2013 By Castimonia

The Evolution of Revolution: Understanding Sex Addiction

An excellent article about sex addiction recovery.

Patrick Carnes: Evolution of Revolution, Understanding Sex Addiction

http://www.counselormagazine.com/detailpage.aspx?pageid=1443&LangType=1033&id=6442451121

carnespIt was a cold late fall evening, and I was about to give my first address to the medical staff of Golden Valley Health Center. This facility was an 850-bed hospital located in suburban Minneapolis. It had a long and respected tradition as a psychiatric facility that also treated substance abuse. The year was 1984 and Out of the Shadows had appeared in January. While the reception that year certainly started controversies, there was also real and substantive support in both the professional and the recovering communities. The very first inpatient program for sex addiction was set to open in January 1985.

My job that night was to be the keynote speaker for the annual medical staff dinner for close to 300 doctors, clinicians and their spouses. My purpose was to underline the importance of this new sex addiction program. I was nervous, but I strategized that what had worked best for me was to use compelling cases to paint a picture of real need. One example was that I had a letter from the wife of a physician who had joined Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA) and received treatment. It was a moving tribute to the power of treatment and her gratitude for the help received. Also I knew I had spouses in the audience as well as doctors, so it was a way for all to identify. And the author had kindly given me permission to share her sentiments anonymously. So I was ready.

Yet I was totally unprepared for what happened. After the lovely supper had been served and eaten, the hospital administrator went to the podium and started his introduction for my talk. It was a cue for a staged walkout. Suddenly about half of the audience simply got up and left. They were led by the most significant psychiatric group on the medical staff. Even more stunning was that key members of the administration staff joined the exodus in protest to the hospital opening a sex addiction program.

Over my career I have had critics, hecklers and reluctant staff members. But that moment was a defining moment in which I and what I represented were clearly not welcome. I remember the spotlights being on me, and everyone waiting for what I would say. I stood there, notes and letter in hand, transfixed with the fear that I had no right to be there. I wondered if I should walk away, but then I looked at that letter and knew I needed to speak the truth I knew. So I stepped forward and with a somewhat halting voice thanked those who had stayed and told them why I was there.

At the time Golden Valley was owned by Compcare Corporation and its president was Dr. Richard Santoni. He and I had spent afternoons together reviewing data and cases about sex addiction. His resolve pushed all of us to opening that program on time. Once open, a transformation occurred. The patients were profoundly grateful to have a place that understood their problem. Compared to most patients in the facility, they were not only hurting but also motivated. Soon the Sexual Dependency Units became the place where everyone wanted to work. Even the physicians who had walked out during my address changed their minds. When the patients came, the legitimacy of the problem was clearly established. The reputation for breaking new ground and being of genuine help compared to the revolving psychiatric doors characteristic of the day was more than attractive. Plus in 1985, physicians would be paid by patient as a separate bill. With $265 a day at stake, those who walked out the night of my talk now demanded to be put on the rotation list.

Then new institutional battle lines were drawn. The word spread that these were interesting, motivated patients who could afford to pay. Doctors wanted to be these new patients’ doctors but did not have time to go through the training to understand what the staff was asking of the patients in the program. Thus you had doctors giving well-meaning but ill-informed advice that was contrary to the precepts of the program. Clearly, a training program was necessary. Similarly, referents were asking for help because now that there was help, others followed locally from 12-step groups. Clinicians also saw the progress made in the hospital but questioned how to maintain momentum when the patient returned to the real world.

Other questions arose. With so many patients coming to the clinic, could they be put into groups? What was the criteria for inpatients other than desperation? Did treatment work for offenders? Were offenders part of a continuum, a separate problem or was there an overlap with sex addiction?

Leading the requests to join the new program were various directors of physician health programs. Most notable among those was Dr. Richard Irons, who eventually joined the staff at Golden Valley, and Dr. David Dodd from the Tennessee Medical Foundation, who worked hard to open the doors to understanding for those who treated physicians with addictions. Both of these men rose to the challenge of leadership and contributed dramatically to the knowledge and acceptance of sex addiction as a problem. Now physicians were joining in the fight and advocating for further knowledge.

The problem then was how to acquire that knowledge. I remember sitting at lunch with colleagues from Golden Valley in May of 1985.

We were celebrating all the progress being made and a recent television show with Oprah Winfrey, which brought over 11,000 calls to the hospital seeking help. We were talking of the new training necessary. Suddenly I experienced a deep fear within myself and I tuned my colleagues out. I realized we were celebrating the opening of the hospital program as an end goal that would solve the problem. Yet it was but a waypoint. All these unanswered questions existed. How would we find the answers and pay for the research? We had worked so hard just to get to the point where we had a facility. So many prejudices and professional barriers had to be overcome. We had just begun. When I tuned back to my friends, the tone of the lunch changed when I shared what I was thinking.

Still, throughout this whole journey people were ready to help. Money was found. A team of eight researchers, including myself, started to gather data. Hundreds of therapists opened their practices to this work. And just short of 1,000 sex addicts and many of their partners joined in the effort. The pooling of the efforts of all of us helped us to fashion training as a collecting point for the story of recovery that was emerging. It was the beginning of the Certified Sex Addiction Therapist program whose participants today we call CSATs. The resistance to our work did not stop, since there frequently were obstacles such as “that may work in the city but will not in the country” or even, “that will never work in my country.” Plus the process of discovery led to more questions and complications. Yet we persisted in pooling our knowledge.

What we have experienced is now a global phenomenon. For example, a young woman who just started working on her CSAT returned to a very rural part of Canada. She was told such clinical interventions would never work there and certainly not with families. But with the backing of her hospital she now directs a thriving sex addiction program with heavy family involvement. In Slovenia, a country of only two million, a family physician supports the beginning of a 12-step program for sex addicts. Today she has left family practice behind and devotes herself to helping families of sex addicts. In South Africa, I attended an SAA meeting of about 125. I was struck by the level of knowledge and good recovery in the room. I asked how this happened. It was business leaders who knew something had to be done who had bought materials and distributed them for free. And then they subsidized interested therapists who sought training.

One of the more interesting stories internationally is what the Norlien Foundation in Alberta, Canada, has been able to achieve. Once they became clear about the problem of addiction, they focused first on prevention. They created an initiative for early childhood education and family wellness that leveraged foundation and provincial funds into an amazing resource for Canadian families. Then they brought the very best science experts in addiction together for a series of conferences involving policymakers, government officials and healthcare professionals. They completely revamped the approach to talking about sex addiction by focusing on brain development and trauma. Then they ramped up the discussion into understanding addiction as a brain problem–of which sex was one of the options. They created an initiative to educate providers and physicians. They invited an American think tank called Frameworks to help with a cultural intervention.

(see Figures 1 and 2)

Figure 1
figure1

Figure 2
figure2

Their first effort was to show that a consensus existed amongst all the various professions involved. Amongst the average citizen, however, there were all kinds of perceptions, far from those of the research consensus, and few areas of agreement. Figure 1 graphically summarizes where the discontinuities were. The second initiative was a massive education effort of the public, which showed an astounding shift in understanding. Figure 2 lists what emerged in a survey of 4,000 citizens. Sexual compulsivity was at the top of the list. (For more information, please go to their website norlien.org. It is an open source treasure trove of useful information.

Clearly the time has come for a global conversation. Hosted by Caron and U.S. Journal Training, but supported by key professional associations and treatment facilities,  the 1st International Conference on Sex & Love Addiction will be held April 4–6. A planning group was formed with clinicians and physicians from around the world. The conference is being held in Brooklyn, New York, an international city with easy access. The goal is to again share what we know across disciplines and countries.

Sex addiction does have uniqueness. It requires clinicians who understand addiction, sex therapy, family therapy, trauma, sex offending and brain science. Physicians need to step past traditional psychopathology and recognize process addictions. Cultural differences are a factor. We, for example, are the world leaders of pornography, producing over 400 million pages last year alone (the closest other country is Germany with 10 million pages). Yet the irony is that terrorists, including Osama bin Laden, were consumers of porn. In putting together this conference we were not surprised to learn that the pornography consumption among United States military personnel emerged as a significant issue and the United States military is not the only military struggling with this concern.

Sex addiction is most difficult to treat because of the intimacy and centrality of sex to being human. At a recent conference, an elderly clinician from China leaned over and whispered to me, “You do know this is the most important global issue we probably have. It is a huge problem in our country. But no one wants to talk about it.” She looked at me with tears in her eyes as she left. She did not even hear my whispered, “I know” as she now was already focused on her labored walking.

My seatmate on the plane was a professional man. After talking with him for a few minutes I was aware that the language he used was 12-step based. I asked if he was in the program and he said yes, that he had been in AA for four years. We talked some about it. Then he leaned over and asked me if I knew anything about sex addiction. I said that I had been in a program of sex addiction recovery for some time. He then said, “I have three sponsees who are struggling because they have not surrendered to their sex addiction. I finally said to one of them that I could not help him any longer if he did not do what his sex addiction treatment asked him to do, because he would die.” He then leaned over and asked me if that happens often. I nodded my assent. He leaned back and said, “We have to wake up.” I said, “I know.”

So consider this issue of Counselor a wake-up call. Sex addiction is not just a collateral problem to be referred on. We have invited some of the best providers in the country to share with you here some of the latest knowledge and tools. Rob Weiss is amazing at his ability to track how digitalization is transforming the key variable in addiction acquisition: availability. Suzanne O’Connor and Stefanie Carnes review some of the latest instrumentation available. Three private practitioners talk about what it has been like to build their practice around sex addiction. Two inpatient providers talk of revising their programs in light of evidence-based practice. Caron Foundation staff share what they learned when they systematically assessed clients for sex addiction. The Pine Grove staff at Gentle Path share their realization of how differentiated their patient population was when they simply tracked the patients as they withdrew from the program. As you read you will also learn how 12-step programs have provided so many good options across the world.

The professionals writing here are both evolutionary and revolutionary, doing what good medicine and science has always done. We make things better by pooling what we know and helping each other. Now our network will extend across the world. In the words of a song from the sixties, “There’s something happening here. . .”

I sold an old farm that my wife and I had while she was alive. In it all the research records were stored that we started collecting in 1985. Among them were all the stories of the 1,000 addicts and their partners. The average transcript was about 80 to a 100 pages long, single spaced. These stories were in addition to all the data collection we did, which took hours to fill out and seven years to collect and analyze. In moving my records, I sat on the floor, opened the boxes and was flooded by memories of all the people who had shared their pain, struggles and success. I heard their voices and wept. I whispered out loud, “I know.” And I think many more will know now too. Thank you.

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, affair, Affairs, anonymous sex partners, call girls, Carnes, castimonia, Character Defects, christian, Counselor, Counselor Magazine, escorts, father wound, gratification, healing, human trafficking, Intimacy, Jesus Christ, lust, masturbation, meeting, Patrick Carnes, porn, porn star, pornography, pornstar, prostitute, prostitutes, ptsd, purity, recovery, resentment, saa, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sex partners, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, spouses, STD, strippers, trauma

February 4, 2013 By Castimonia

Sometimes Your Husband is Not the Only One Who Needs Change

I will state that what works for some, does not work for others.  What worked for this spouse of a sex addict may or may not work in allowing God to heal the wounds created by the husband, so take what you like and leave the rest.  And husbands, don’t try to be the Holy Spirit and use this example on your wife, allow the Holy Spirit to guide your wives to their own healing.

Sometimes your husband is not the only one who needs change..

Sometimes your husband is not the only one who needs change.
February 2, 2013 by Amy

A couple of years ago I lived in a very different world. My world was full of hurt and betrayal. I tried all manner of things to ease the pain but nothing worked. I was hopeless. I remember one particular day when I called a family member to vent. I was ready to move on, to get a fresh start.  I let it all out:

I don’t deserve this! I don’t want this to be my life! I deserve to be loved and treated well!  I deserve to be happy. I’m not going to waste my whole life waiting for someone else to change. I deserve better than this!

Having had the opportunity to talk to many women who have been or who currently are in similar situations I know these feelings are not unique. I also know that just because the majority of people feel this way doesn’t make it right.

Today as I think upon those feelings and the words I used to express my pain I cringe.  I see how selfish and prideful I was.

With all that was happening to me by the actions of my husband it never dawned on me that there was anything about me that needed to change.  The idea that I was just as lost as Chad not only never crossed my mind but made made me angry to hear it suggested.  And here’s the kicker:  Do I really have the right to demand happiness, comfort, peace and love? At that time I believed I did. I had bought into the lie that suggests a Christian will always be happy, that trials, at least not big ones, will not come my way.   My idea of being a Christian looked more like the world’s ways than Jesus’ way (Phil 2:7-8).

It wasn’t until I began a bible study with a dear christian woman that the idea of not having rights surfaced.   I balked! Don’t tell me that, I thought. I’m not going to be a doormat for others to walk all over. Most certainly not my husband! It set me back and it took a while for God’s word to speak reassuring truth to my soul.

What I learned is that trouble is promised to us. We aren’t promised comfort and security but we are promised that God will be with us through the fire. We aren’t told that he will always keep us out of it. This simple truth transformed my life.

So here I was learning that I didn’t have rights and that I was just as selfish and prideful as Chad. His pride played out in a very different way, but I was just as prideful. His selfishness was out there for all to see, but I was very selfish in ways that others didn’t notice as much. I began to see my great need for God. I began, not to cry out for my marriage to be saved, or for happiness, but for God to save me from myself. I prayed and still pray for God to show me my heart and my desires as He sees them. When He reveals the way that He sees my wants and desires I can do nothing but fall at His feet and cry for mercy.

Once I began to focus on God and on my need for Him my troubles didn’t overwhelm me as they did before. I had a glimpse of my Savior and how great He is and how small I am. My life became less about pleasing myself as I began to strive to please my God and in doing that, the troubles I faced gave me greater opportunities to please my Lord. It’s during those times of trial that the rubber meets the road. Do you really believe God is with you? Suffering and trouble will show you. I am in no way perfect. I still struggle with seeing things the way I should. There are times that I have to stop myself and remind myself that my comfort and my happiness is not paramount. God is using hard days and realizations of my sinfulness to draw me to Him.

Will you allow God to speak to you through your trials? Will you praise God despite your pain? Will you honor the Lord in suffering with grace and obedience? Those are my goals. I believe if we do this it will not only help us through our trouble but most importantly it will please our Lord!

God give us the eyes to see our hearts as you see them and the ears to hear your still small voice when trouble is roaring all around us!

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, affair, Affairs, anonymous sex partners, call girls, castimonia, Character Defects, Emotions, escorts, father wound, gratification, healing, human trafficking, Intimacy, Jesus Christ, lust, masturbation, porn, porn star, pornography, pornstar, pornstars, prostitute, prostitutes, ptsd, purity, recovery, resentment, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sex partners, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, spouses, STD, strippers, trafficking, trauma

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This site is intended for individuals who struggle with maintaining sexual purity. This information is posted for individuals at various stages in their recovery, year 1 to year 30+; what applies to some, may not apply others. Spouses are encouraged to read this blog with the caveat that they may not agree with, understand, or know the reason for some items posted. As always, take what you like and leave the rest.

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