• Skip to content
  • Skip to footer

CASTIMONIA

Sexual Purity Support & Recovery Group

  • Home
  • About Castimonia
    • Statement of Faith
    • Member Struggles
    • Are You a Sex Addict?
    • About the Leaders of Castimonia
  • Meetings
    • What to Expect at a Castimonia Meeting
    • Meeting Times & Locations
      • Arkansas Meetings
      • New York Meetings
      • Tennessee Meetings
      • Texas Meetings
      • Telephone Meeting
      • Zoom Online Meetings
  • News & Events
  • Resources
    • Books
    • Document Downloads
    • Journal Through Recovery
    • Purity Podcasts
    • Recovery Videos
    • Telemeeting Scripts
    • Useful Links
  • Contact Us

children looking at porn

April 1, 2013 By Castimonia

Effects of Childhood Sexual Abuse, Part 1

April is designated as abuse prevention month for the state of Texas.  Therefore, the majority of posts for this month will orbit around childhood abuse and the effects of such abuse.  I pray that our world can come to a place where no child is ever abused again!

Effects of abuse, part 1
By Paul Irby Special to the Abilenian
Abilene Reporter-News
Posted December 3, 2008 at 11:21 a.m.

It seems the sexual abuse of children is an epidemic in our society. This evil respects no boundaries of gender, race, ethnicity or socioeconomic status. The Mental Health Association of Abilene recognizes thousands of people in the Big Country have been impacted by this epidemic. Therefore, executive director Kirk Hancock has commissioned the penning of six articles over the course of six months for the purpose of educating the general public regarding the potential developmental impacts of sexual abuse on its victims.

When approaching the discussion of this subject, it is important to note there are no standard or predictable outcomes, and some seem to adjust better post-abuse than others.

For the next five months, Mental Health Matters will have articles highlighting how specific dimensions of a person can be impacted by sexual abuse. These articles will take a “shotgun” approach to describing potential impacts. It should be noted not all survivors of sexual abuse will experience all the effects discussed, and the intensity with which others endure their respective impacts will differ. Therefore, it stands to reason that we first answer the question of what factors influence the intensity of the adverse developmental impacts on a child who has been sexually abused.

The duration and frequency of the abuse is one important component to consider. Some children experience the abuse on a daily, weekly or monthly frequency for a duration of months or years. Others have endured less chronic or isolated instances of abuse. It is this latter group that has the least amount of susceptibility to adverse consequences down the road.

Another consideration is the kind of abuse perpetrated. Survivors with the most intense developmental impacts are those who sustained penetration orally, anally or vaginally. The invasive nature of these acts adds to the already deep sense of violation, both physically and psychologically. Sexual abuse can include less invasive, yet still horrific, forms such as manual stimulation and groping over the clothes.

The response of adults to the child’s disclosure of the abuse is another vital piece to understanding the resilience of some abused children.

Common mistakes parents and other significant adults make when a child musters the courage to disclose the abuse are not believing the child, blaming the child or defining the child by the abuse. The lack of support, blame and even punishment of the child can have just as devastating impacts as the actual abuse.

Other factors include the age and temperament of the child, the presence of violence or intimidation, along with the sexual abuse and the relationship of the abuser to the abused.

While nothing positive exists in an abusive situation, there are “best case” scenarios. Bear in mind, even children who come from a “worst case” scenario who access quality professional help and have a solid social support system can not only survive, but thrive.

Next month we will explore possible mental or cognitive impacts sexual abuse can have on a child.

Paul Irby, M.A., is a licensed professional counselor with the Ministry of Counseling and Enrichment. Mental Health Matters is facilitated by the Mental Health Association in Abilene.

Original article found here:
http://www.reporternews.com/news/2008/dec/03/effects-abuse-part-1it-seems-sexual-abuse-children/

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: abuse, addiction, affair, Affairs, alcohol, alcoholic, anonymous sex partners, call girls, castimonia, Character Defects, child abuse, children, children looking at porn, christian, Emotions, escorts, father wound, gratification, healing, human trafficking, Intimacy, lust, masturbation, meeting, porn, porn star, pornography, pornstar, pornstars, prostitute, prostitutes, ptsd, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sex partners, sexual, sexual abuse, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, spouses, strippers, trauma

September 20, 2012 By Castimonia

Help! My Kids Have Looked at Porn!

This is an unfortunate event/statement that most, if not all parents (in today’s sexualized American culture) will make.  The key is how we, as parents, respond to the issue of our children either being exposed to pornography or purposely viewing pornography.  Below are some recommended points for us to follow when that day comes.

1. Control Your Anger

Being angry is ok, it’s what we do with that anger that defines us.  Be angry at the pornography, not your child.  Statistics show that 93% of boys and 62% of girls will be exposed to pornography before the age of 18.  It is not a question of “if” your child will be exposed to porn, but “when” your child is exposed to porn.

2. Go after their Heart, not their Behavior

Try to get to the root of the issue, your child’s heart.  Don’t condemn their behavior, but try to help them figure out why they looked at pornography in the first place.  Have compassion on your child and understand that our culture is so sexualized that it is nearly impossible to shield them from pornography.

3. Keep a Discussion Going about Sex

What a better way to start discussing sex and true intimacy than to have the door slammed open with discovery of your child’s viewing of pornography.  This may not be the preferred method, but God can use this to open that “sex talk” door that many parents dread.  Keep openly discussing healthy sexuality with your child.  Hopefully, with trust and time, they will come to you for advice, not their friends or the internet.

4. Examine Your Own Heart

Parents, you will not be able to teach your child about healthy sexuality if you yourself are not practicing what you preach!  Fathers, God will not be able fully work through you to help your child if you are engaging in sexually immoral behavior.  Also, God may use your child’s struggle with pornography to help you examine your own sexual behaviors.  Use this time to come to Christ for forgiveness and live in His grace.  We are not perfect, but let God work through us to help our children by keeping our own hearts pure.

5. Blocking the Doors

Take steps place restrictions on TV, Internet, Movies, etc…  This may mean you are forced to install an “unwanted” filter on all of your computers and internet-ready devices.  Don’t look at filters negatively and lie to yourself by saying “my child would never purposely look at pornography, or my spouse isn’t tempted to look at porn.”  Be proactive!  If filters have not been previously installed, then do so now.

6. Don’t Let Up nor Give Up

Don’t stop talking to your kids about healthy sexuality and don’t give up on supervising your children after you think you’ve failed at protecting them from pornography.  God can use what the enemy meant for evil for His good purpose.  Use this opportunity to grow together and engage your children.  Keep asking them questions on purity, check the filters, check the websites, phones, etc…  Don’t think the battle is over because you had one talk about the subject.

The above points were taken from the PDF file linked below from the Center for Parent/Youth Understanding (CPYU).  Please take the time to read the entire PDF as it has a tremendous amount of information for you to use in engaging your children on the issues of pornography!  Also, please visit www.cpyu.org for more information on today’s youth culture.

My Kids Have Looked At Porn – PDF

A copy of the above PDF can be found under the Castimonia resources tab.

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, castimonia, children, children looking at porn, christian, Emotions, gratification, healing, human trafficking, Intimacy, lust, masturbation, porn, porn star, porn talk, pornography, pornstar, pornstars, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sex partners, sex talk, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, teens, the talk

Footer

Useful Links

Castimonia Restoration Ministry, Inc. is a 501c3 non-profit organization


This site is intended for individuals who struggle with maintaining sexual purity. This information is posted for individuals at various stages in their recovery, year 1 to year 30+; what applies to some, may not apply others. Spouses are encouraged to read this blog with the caveat that they may not agree with, understand, or know the reason for some items posted. As always, take what you like and leave the rest.

Copyright © 2022 · Altitude Pro on Genesis Framework · Log in

 

Loading Comments...