• Skip to main content
  • Skip to footer

CASTIMONIA

Sexual Purity Support & Recovery Group

  • Home
  • About Castimonia
    • Statement of Faith
    • Member Struggles
    • Are You a Sex Addict?
    • About the Leaders of Castimonia
  • Meetings
    • What to Expect at a Castimonia Meeting
    • Meeting Times & Locations
      • Alaska Meetings
      • Arkansas Meetings
      • Mississippi Meetings
      • New York Meetings
      • Ohio Meetings
      • Tennessee Meetings
      • Texas Meetings
      • Telephone Meeting
      • Zoom Online Meetings
  • News & Events
  • Resources
    • Books
    • Document Downloads
    • Journal Through Recovery
    • Purity Podcasts
    • Recovery Videos
    • Telemeeting Scripts
    • Useful Links
  • Contact Us

Character Defects

October 20, 2013 By Castimonia

Codependency: A Family Perspective Part IV

Codependency: A Family Perspective Part IV

The following are statements which portray relationally addictive people(#8-18):

8. We may tend toward episodes of depression and/or anxiety. We try to forestall these episodes through the excitement of an emotionally unstable relationship or through addictive behaviors.
9. We are not attracted to a person who is kind, stable, reliable, and interested in us. We find “nice” people boring or unattractive.
10. We “stuff” our feelings and have lost the ability to identify or express what we feel.
11. We tend to become isolated from people and become afraid of authority figures.
12. We become approval seekers and lose our identity in the process.
13. We can’t stand it when people are angry at us. We hate criticism! We get defensive and “explain” ourselves in an attempt to show the other person how they are wrong.
14. Our world view is that of the victim. We sense and gravitate towards people whom we will allow ourselves to be victimized by.
15. We judge ourselves harshly. We use a more lenient yardstick to judge others.
16. We experience guilt when we stand up for ourselves. To avoid guilt, we give in to others.
17. We confuse love and empathy/pity and tend to think we “love” people we can pity and rescue.
18. We are reactors to life rather than creators of life.

From “Codependency: A Family Perspective” by Robin Norwood (list cont’d tomorrow)

“How much easier it is to be critical than to be correct.” – Benjamin Disraeli

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, affair, Affairs, alcohol, alcoholic, anonymous sex partners, call girls, castimonia, Character Defects, christian, co-dependency, co-dependent, codependency, codependent, Emotions, escorts, father wound, gratification, healing, human trafficking, Intimacy, lust, masturbation, meeting, porn, porn star, pornography, pornstar, pornstars, prostitute, prostitutes, ptsd, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sex partners, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, spouses, STD, strippers, trauma

October 14, 2013 By Castimonia

Codependency: A Family Perspective – Part II

Codependency: A Family Perspective – Part II
People suffering from drug or alcohol-related codependency disorders often experience themselves as being caught up in a treadmill existence. Whether or not goals are achieved there is a driven compulsion for more. An anxious feeling of incompleteness or emptiness remains no matter what is accomplished. Health problems may also exist: migraine headaches, gastrointestinal disturbances, colitis, ulcers, high blood pressure, and many other high stress-related physical illnesses. Stress related illness is not “only in your head.” It is stress-induced physical alteration of the body. It is real. Emotional problems such as depression, anxiety, insomnia, and hyperactivity may also be evident in codependent individuals. These disorders have a physical basis. They are chemical imbalances in the brain. In other words, our cognitive/emotional state impacts upon our physical being. We are a holistic mind-body system. Codependent individuals experienced a traumatically empty childhood. Their present-day relationships are empty. They attempt to use others, their mates, friends, and children, as their source of identity, self-esteem, value and well-being in an attempt to restore childhood emotional losses. Most codependent individuals are unaware that they are doing so. Having constructed a more idyllic existence, many codependent individuals are completely unaware that their childhood was troubled! From “Codependency: A Family Perspective” by Robin Norwood

“People spend a lifetime searching for happiness; looking for peace. They chase idle dreams, addictions, religions, even other people, hoping to fill the emptiness that plagues them. The irony is the only place they ever needed to search was within.” – Ramona L. Anderson

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, affair, Affairs, alcohol, alcoholic, anonymous sex partners, call girls, castimonia, Character Defects, christian, co-dependency, co-dependent, codependent, escorts, father wound, gratification, healing, human trafficking, Intimacy, lust, masturbation, meeting, porn, porn star, pornography, pornstar, pornstars, prostitute, prostitutes, ptsd, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sex partners, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, spouses, STD, strippers, trauma

October 5, 2013 By Castimonia

Behaviors of His Parents

Behaviors of His Parents
Often times the dysfunctional man is repeating some of the behaviors of his parents. The behaviors of the codependent started off as defense mechanisms in order to protect him in the environment he was raised in. Unfortunately, when a person escapes from the destructive environment, he is left with a lot of unresolved issues. These issues tend to carry over into his later relationships if he does not resolve them. The symptoms of codependency in men are of a wide variety. They range from having the appearance of being a servant to having the appearance of selfishness and abusiveness. Often times, codependent men have poor communication skills. They are also insecure. They usually have low self-worth. Other codependency symptoms are a little less common among cases. One of the more common symptoms of codependency is controlling behaviors. Codependent people often try to control everything in their lives.
http://about-addiction.com/addiction/dual-diagnosis/codependency/codependency-men/

“When you are out of control, someone is ready to take over.” –  Toba Beta

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, affair, Affairs, alcohol, alcoholic, anonymous sex partners, call girls, castimonia, Character Defects, christian, co-dependency, co-dependent, codepednency, codependent, escorts, father wound, gratification, healing, human trafficking, Intimacy, lust, masturbation, porn, porn star, pornography, pornstar, pornstars, prostitute, prostitutes, ptsd, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sex partners, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, STD, strippers, trauma

September 23, 2013 By Castimonia

Co-addicted Relationships Part II: Two Love Avoidants

Co-addicted Relationships Part II: Two Love Avoidants
A Love Avoidant and another Love Avoidant form a very low-intensity relationship. They agree to keep intensity low because each of them finds this comfortable; however, they each create intensity, obsession, and compulsion outside the relationship, which quite often does not include the other partner. For example it could be that one is a work addict in business and the other is intensely involved in church work or another form of volunteer activity. Or perhaps one is an alcoholic and the other a compulsive spender, or compulsive gardener, or compulsively redecorates and remodels their home. Or perhaps one of them avoids the spouse by being a Love Addict when relating to one of the children. Another possibility is that these two participate in some form of intensity outside their relationship, thinking they are having a relationship because they are together so much of the time. Actually they use the intensity outside to avoid intimacy within the relationship. For example, a couple can become involved together in compulsive gambling, tournament bridge, square dancing, sailboat racing, and so on. I’m not trying to say that gambling, bridge, dancing or boat racing are undesirable activities for a couple to share. But such activities may become an obstacle to their relationship when the partners create intensity with those activities to avoid intimacy. “From “Facing Love Addiction” by Pia Mellody – tomorrow Part III: “A Love Addict and a Love Avoidant”

“Among men, sex sometimes results in intimacy; among women, intimacy sometimes results in sex.” –  Barbara Cartland

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, affair, Affairs, alcohol, alcoholic, anonymous sex partners, call girls, castimonia, Character Defects, christian, co-dependency, co-dependent, codependency, codependent, Emotions, escorts, father wound, gratification, healing, human trafficking, Intimacy, love addict, love addiction, love avoidant, lust, masturbation, porn, porn star, pornography, pornstar, pornstars, prostitute, prostitutes, ptsd, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sex partners, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, spouses, strippers, trauma

September 20, 2013 By Castimonia

Co-addicted Relationships Part I: Two Love Addicts

Co-addicted Relationships Part I: Two Love Addicts
A Love Addict and another Love Addict form a very intense relationship. They enmesh with each other, get very dependent on each other, and often exclude other people from their partnership. Many times they even exclude their children, and these children feel very abandoned by the parents addiction to each other. The intensity, obsession, and compulsion is focused by each partner on the other partner and on the relationship itself. In some relationships between Love Addicts, one Love Addict’s intense drive toward enmeshment is more forceful than the others. These forceful attempts to remake the other part to fit his or her fantasy overwhelm this less forceful partner. The less forceful Love Addict, who similar attempts to remake the forceful partner to fit him or her own fantasy, fail, may feel in danger of being engulfed and drained and may therefore shift roles by adopting the characteristics of a Love Avoidant in the relationship. “From “Facing Love Addiction” by Pia Mellody – tomorrow Part II: “Two Love Avoidants”

“Addiction is just a way of trying to get at something else. Something bigger. Call it transcendence if you want, but it’s a f ‘ed-up way, like a rat in a maze. We all want the same thing. We all have this hole. The thing you want offers relief, but it’s a trap.” – Tess Callahan

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, affair, Affairs, anonymous sex partners, call girls, castimonia, Character Defects, christian, co-dependency, co-dependent, codependency, codependent, escorts, father wound, gratification, healing, human trafficking, Intimacy, love addiction, love avoidant, lust, masturbation, porn, porn star, pornography, pornstar, pornstars, prostitute, prostitutes, ptsd, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sex partners, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, spouses, strippers

  • « Go to Previous Page
  • Page 1
  • Interim pages omitted …
  • Page 149
  • Page 150
  • Page 151
  • Page 152
  • Page 153
  • Interim pages omitted …
  • Page 159
  • Go to Next Page »

Footer

Useful Links

Castimonia Restoration Ministry, Inc. is a 501c3 non-profit organization


This site is intended for individuals who struggle with maintaining sexual purity. This information is posted for individuals at various stages in their recovery, year 1 to year 30+; what applies to some, may not apply others. Spouses are encouraged to read this blog with the caveat that they may not agree with, understand, or know the reason for some items posted. As always, take what you like and leave the rest.

Copyright © 2026 Castimonia Restoration Ministry

Loading Comments...