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love addict

August 15, 2015 By Castimonia

Love Addicts

Love Addicts compensated for lack of nurturing as children by immersing themselves in fantasy. Fantasies of being rescued or being the rescuer abound. Knights, dragons, romance novels – getting high from fantasy becomes habit. When a Love Addict plays with fantasy, they can get high in about 10 minutes, and stay there for 2-3 hours. Endorphins are released into their system, relieving emotional pain. Love Addicts begin relationships by trying too hard to please and connect. They are driven to find someone to tell them they are loveable and loved; to find someone who will rescue them from their inability to care for themselves; rescue them from their loneliness, emptiness, lack of self-love, inability to feel safe in the world without someone to protect them. They look for a relationship to make them feel whole. By Mary Ellen O’Leary, MA, LPCC
http://insidetherapy.com/codaloveaddict.html

“I liked it. I craved it. I wanted more and I took it. I took it like I needed it, like my life had a limit and if I didn’t get as much of it as I could I’d quit breathing the next instant.” – Kristen Ashley

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, Affairs, castimonia, christian, escorts, father wound, gratification, healing, Intimacy, Jesus Christ, Love, love addict, love addiction, lust, masturbation, porn, pornography, pornstars, prostitutes, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex partners, sexual addiction, sexual purity, trauma

September 23, 2013 By Castimonia

Co-addicted Relationships Part II: Two Love Avoidants

Co-addicted Relationships Part II: Two Love Avoidants
A Love Avoidant and another Love Avoidant form a very low-intensity relationship. They agree to keep intensity low because each of them finds this comfortable; however, they each create intensity, obsession, and compulsion outside the relationship, which quite often does not include the other partner. For example it could be that one is a work addict in business and the other is intensely involved in church work or another form of volunteer activity. Or perhaps one is an alcoholic and the other a compulsive spender, or compulsive gardener, or compulsively redecorates and remodels their home. Or perhaps one of them avoids the spouse by being a Love Addict when relating to one of the children. Another possibility is that these two participate in some form of intensity outside their relationship, thinking they are having a relationship because they are together so much of the time. Actually they use the intensity outside to avoid intimacy within the relationship. For example, a couple can become involved together in compulsive gambling, tournament bridge, square dancing, sailboat racing, and so on. I’m not trying to say that gambling, bridge, dancing or boat racing are undesirable activities for a couple to share. But such activities may become an obstacle to their relationship when the partners create intensity with those activities to avoid intimacy. “From “Facing Love Addiction” by Pia Mellody – tomorrow Part III: “A Love Addict and a Love Avoidant”

“Among men, sex sometimes results in intimacy; among women, intimacy sometimes results in sex.” –  Barbara Cartland

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, affair, Affairs, alcohol, alcoholic, anonymous sex partners, call girls, castimonia, Character Defects, christian, co-dependency, co-dependent, codependency, codependent, Emotions, escorts, father wound, gratification, healing, human trafficking, Intimacy, love addict, love addiction, love avoidant, lust, masturbation, porn, porn star, pornography, pornstar, pornstars, prostitute, prostitutes, ptsd, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sex partners, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, spouses, strippers, trauma

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This site is intended for individuals who struggle with maintaining sexual purity. This information is posted for individuals at various stages in their recovery, year 1 to year 30+; what applies to some, may not apply others. Spouses are encouraged to read this blog with the caveat that they may not agree with, understand, or know the reason for some items posted. As always, take what you like and leave the rest.

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