Step 10 in Sex Addiction Recovery: Jorge and Doug discuss the practical aspects of working Step 10 in recovery. It is nearing thefinish line of the 12 steps!Remember that you are not alone on this road of recovery…..for more information please email us at puritypodcast@castimonia.org.
Step 10
Castimonia Saturday Morning Meeting Topic 10-27-2012 – Walk
This morning’s topic is a “Musical Topic” where I hand out the lyrics to a “recovery-related” song and we all share. This also relates to our work in Step 10. Below are the lyrics and my discussion on the subject:
Walk
by Foo Fighters
A million miles away
Your signal in the distance
To whom it may concern
I think I lost my way
Getting good at starting over
Every time that I return
Learning to walk again
I believe I’ve waited long enough
Where do I begin?
Learning to talk again
Can’t you see I’ve waited long enough?
Where do I begin?
Do you remember the days?
We built these paper mountains
Then sat and watched them burn
I think I found my place
Can’t you feel it growing stronger
Little conquerors
Learning to walk again
I believe I’ve waited long enough
Where do I begin?
Learning to talk again
I believe I’ve waited long enough
Where do I begin?
Now,
For the very first time
Don’t you pay no mind
Set me free again
To keep alive, a moment at a time
That’s still inside, a whisper to a riot
The sacrifice, the knowing to survive
The first decline, another state of mind
I’m on my knees, I’m praying for a sign
Forever, whenever, I never wanna die
I never wanna die
I never wanna die
I’m on my knees, I never wanna die
I’m dancing on my grave
I’m running through the fire
Forever, whenever
I never wanna die
I never wanna leave
I’ll never say goodbye
Forever, whenever
Forever, whenever
Learning to walk again
I believe I’ve waited long enough
Where do I begin?
Learning to talk again
Can’t you see I’ve waited long enough?
Where do I begin?
Learning to walk again
I believe I’ve waited long enough
Learning to talk again
Can’t you see I’ve waited long enough?
I believe that God uses secular music to get His message across, but sometimes one has to listen to the meeting deep within. I could spend half the meeting time dissecting this song and how it relates to recovery. There are so many parts and pieces to this song that relate to recovery, especially my own.
The passion and intensity in which the lead singer, Dave Grohl, sings the part that begins with “Now, For the very first time…” is the same passion and intensity I need to have for my own recovery. I have to be passionate about recovery. Understanding that a life of recovery means life to me and a life in the addiction equates to death is equally important. “I never wanna die” means that I never want to return to the addiction, less I die on the inside instead of living my life sober. Some days I have to live my life “a moment at a time” because “… still inside” of me is “a whisper to a riot” which is my addiction and my acting out.
Furthermore, “Set me free again” relates to me and when I need to work my Step 10, either after I was wrong and promptly admitted it, or after a relapse into my inner circle activities. Understanding that we are made free when we openly and honestly admit our mistakes is extremely important. This addiction gains its power from secrets and dishonesty.
Finally, the main chorus of this song, “learning to walk again” and “learning to talk again” are reminders of my recovery and the fact that I am learning to walk and talk again when I first entered recovery or after I have fallen. It is important for me to understand that I really never knew how to “walk” or “talk” in my addicted filled life. Now, as a Christ-follower, I can walk alongside Jesus Christ, and Talk/pray to Him who sets me free, one moment at a time, one day at a time. But the latter will be left for a study in Step 11.
Take what you like and leave the rest.
Castimonia Saturday Morning Meeting Topic – Step 10 Step Study
We continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
“So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall!” (1 Corinthians 10:12)
In today’s Castimonia meeting we reviewed Step 10 from the Twelve Steps for Christians and the SAA Green Book.
In understanding Step 10, one equation is important to me.
Step 10 = (Step 4 + Step 5 + Step 6 + Step 7 + Step 8 + Step 9)
If one understands this, Step 10 becomes much easier to work through. Why? Because we’ve already worked Step 10 when we worked through Steps 4 – 9! However, it is equally important to understand the basis of Step 10. As is stated in our “How it Works” section, “…we are not perfect as Christ.” This tells me that there will be days when I don’t work my program or live my life perfectly, and that is OK. The 10th Step states, “When we were wrong,” not “IF we were wrong.” This signifies that WE WILL fall short, there is no doubt. We are humans and only Christ was perfect and I am not He. The point is, we don’t beat ourselves up because we fall short, we work through our program, take personal inventory, expose those character defects, make amends, and move forward!
“Even with our best efforts we make mistakes. We are human, and we fall short of the mark regularly, even when we are abstinent from our addictive sexual behavior….. our imperfection is certain, and mistakes are inevitable. We adopt the attitude of learning from, rather than denying, our mistakes. Working this step allows us to let go of both perfectionism and grandiosity. We gradually discover the relief and humility of not having to be perfect.” – SAA Green Book, p. 52 & 55
Well stated by the SAA Green Book. I really like the thought that I don’t have to be perfect. That a healthy me does not have to be perfect to be a good person, to be lovable! The key is, to be able to admit when we are wrong, even at the cost of losing everything in our lives. To continue to live in rigorous honesty is key to our continued growth in recovery and in maintaining long-term sobriety. In understanding Step 10, we need to understand that the 12 Steps are “living” and we will continue to work them as long as we remain in recovery.
The true test will be if a person goes through a relapse into addictive sexual behaviors. I pray that no one ever has to go through this test! However, in understanding that the steps work and there is continued growth in recovery and in working the steps on a daily basis, one must be courageous enough to follow through with the 10th Step if one has a relapse into addictive sexual behavior. Yes, they could lose their spouse, their family, their jobs, but it is better to admit when we failed, than to allow the addiction to hold onto us tightly with the chains of secrecy! We must be courageous enough to trust in God that He is loving and caring and will see us through any of these difficulties. We must be courageous enough to step back into the light and release any secrets we have held onto after a relapse. We must be courageous enough to stay in recovery, no matter the cost!
The program works, if you work it.
