We continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
“So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall!” (1 Corinthians 10:12)
In today’s Castimonia meeting we reviewed Step 10 from the Twelve Steps for Christians and the SAA Green Book.
In understanding Step 10, one equation is important to me.
Step 10 = (Step 4 + Step 5 + Step 6 + Step 7 + Step 8 + Step 9)
If one understands this, Step 10 becomes much easier to work through. Why? Because we’ve already worked Step 10 when we worked through Steps 4 – 9! However, it is equally important to understand the basis of Step 10. As is stated in our “How it Works” section, “…we are not perfect as Christ.” This tells me that there will be days when I don’t work my program or live my life perfectly, and that is OK. The 10th Step states, “When we were wrong,” not “IF we were wrong.” This signifies that WE WILL fall short, there is no doubt. We are humans and only Christ was perfect and I am not He. The point is, we don’t beat ourselves up because we fall short, we work through our program, take personal inventory, expose those character defects, make amends, and move forward!
“Even with our best efforts we make mistakes. We are human, and we fall short of the mark regularly, even when we are abstinent from our addictive sexual behavior….. our imperfection is certain, and mistakes are inevitable. We adopt the attitude of learning from, rather than denying, our mistakes. Working this step allows us to let go of both perfectionism and grandiosity. We gradually discover the relief and humility of not having to be perfect.” – SAA Green Book, p. 52 & 55
Well stated by the SAA Green Book. I really like the thought that I don’t have to be perfect. That a healthy me does not have to be perfect to be a good person, to be lovable! The key is, to be able to admit when we are wrong, even at the cost of losing everything in our lives. To continue to live in rigorous honesty is key to our continued growth in recovery and in maintaining long-term sobriety. In understanding Step 10, we need to understand that the 12 Steps are “living” and we will continue to work them as long as we remain in recovery.
The true test will be if a person goes through a relapse into addictive sexual behaviors. I pray that no one ever has to go through this test! However, in understanding that the steps work and there is continued growth in recovery and in working the steps on a daily basis, one must be courageous enough to follow through with the 10th Step if one has a relapse into addictive sexual behavior. Yes, they could lose their spouse, their family, their jobs, but it is better to admit when we failed, than to allow the addiction to hold onto us tightly with the chains of secrecy! We must be courageous enough to trust in God that He is loving and caring and will see us through any of these difficulties. We must be courageous enough to step back into the light and release any secrets we have held onto after a relapse. We must be courageous enough to stay in recovery, no matter the cost!
The program works, if you work it.