Purity Podcast

In this episode, Chris explores the Bible through the lens of addiction recovery and the Transformational Recovery Matrix. Drawing on themes from The Transformational Recovery Matrix, this conversation unpacks the differences between sobriety and transformation, performance and surrender, and behavior management and heart renewal.

Chris explains:

• Why addiction disciples the body and mind
• How the four recovery quadrants expose deeper heart postures
• The Greek meaning behind “be transformed”
• Why transformation is passive but participatory
• The difference between transactional and transformational recovery
• How “trivial boomerangs” reveal deeper character issues
• Why God grows oak trees, not microwaved Christians

What if the problem isn’t that men don’t know enough… but that they’re trying to recover alone?

In this episode of Purity Podcast, Chris sits down with Chandler from Relay (JoinRelay.app) to discuss the role of connection, vulnerability, and community in sexual addiction recovery.

Together they explore:

• Why isolation fuels addiction
• The difference between accountability and genuine connection
• Why many recovery models fail to produce lasting transformation
• The role shame plays in secrecy and relapse
• How healthy male community changes recovery
• Why recovery cannot depend solely on a spouse
• Whether technology can actually support meaningful healing

This conversation is honest, practical, and deeply encouraging for anyone who feels exhausted trying to fight alone.

Today on the Purity Podcast, Chris interviews Dana Hargus, licensed professional counselor and founder of Restore of Ada, about the deep connection between trauma, nervous-system dysregulation, sexual addiction, and betrayal trauma.

This episode explores:

• Why insight, willpower, and accountability alone often fail in sexual addiction recovery
• How porn and compulsive sexual behaviors function as nervous-system regulation tools
• The role of trauma and attachment wounds in relapse cycles
• What betrayed partners experience in their bodies—not just their emotions
• Why safety must be restored before intimacy or reconciliation is possible
• How biofeedback and whole-person healing can create lasting transformation

Learn more about Dana’s work:
Restore of Ada – https://restoreofada.com

This conversation is essential listening for addicts, spouses, and leaders who want recovery that goes deeper than behavior modification.

What does The Hunt for Red October have in common with helping your wife through her pain? 

In this episode, we explore what it actually means to sit with your wife’s pain after betrayal, and why most men struggle to do it well.

Using the framework of CVE: Compassion, Validation, and Empathy, we look at why pain isn’t a problem to solve, but a reality to enter. You’ll hear why explaining, defending, or minimizing often makes things worse, and how true empathy requires proximity, not emotional distance.

We also draw an unexpected parallel between cybersecurity incident response and marriage recovery, unpacking why ignored vulnerabilities create more damage over time—and how moving toward pain can neutralize its destructive power.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why compassion begins with seeing, not fixing
  
• How validation acknowledges reality without surrendering truth
  
• Why empathy is proximity, not detachment
  
• How distancing yourself from pain allows it to grow more destructive
  
• What Scripture teaches about presence, listening, and emotional safety
  

How to repair when you get CVE wrong (because you will)