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STD

May 12, 2012 By Castimonia

Interview – Behind the Scenes of a Pornographic Movie

I was disgusted by the reality of the “glamorous” porn industry!  It really sickens me how all these men and women act like it is the greatest thing ever, yet inside, they are slowly dying…  I am especially disgusted by the abortion relation in pornography and the making of pornographic movies:

” I’ve had a girl get pregnant from a movie I did for Hustler, there was no protection because Hustler and LFP frowned on condom use on set. Last I heard she was on probation and delivered the baby in jail. It was insane. But it was not uncommon for girls to get pregnant from a set shoot and then paid to have an abortion. This is the well-kept secret in the industry, Hustler, Vivid, Playboy all have a direct working relationship with Planned Parenthood and together they make a lot of money from one another. Girls would be told if they even were thought to be pregnant, they were given a pill (morning after) and it does happen quite a lot in the business.”

Because of how triggering this may be to recovering sex addicts or users of pornography, I have copied and pasted the entire interview and removed some of the offensive or triggering material.

Ex Hustler Producer Interview – Christopher Gregory 

With Shelly Lubben

Shelley: How did you get into the porn business?

Christopher: I got into the porn business by way of mere accident. I met a friend who was doing girls gone wild stuff and the curiosity got the better of me and when we started talking more about the industry; I thought it would be a way of A) making money and B) getting women. It was all a subtle slide down into the darkness that I thought was going to be fun.

Shelley: Did things that happened in your childhood have an influence on your choice to be a porn producer?

Christopher: Did things happen in my childhood affect my decision? Yes, only in the respect that I was in my early 20’s when my father died, I grew up in a traditional Christian home, actually, I got saved when I was 8 years old, but when I became older, after the loss of my dad, I grew angry and as most angry young men, I took off and found myself doing whatever I could to fill that void in my life. I thought everything and everyone was against me, even God, in my mind, left me. So as I grew older and traveled more and experienced more, it opened the door to the film industry and eventually leading me to Larry Flynt’s door.

Shelley: How long were you in the porn business?

Christopher: I was in the business for a very short time, almost 5 years (that’s short) compared to many. Again, to me it was a way to make money, build my name and then crossover. 20 Years ago that would have virtually impossible, but because Hollywood has virtually become an industry of virtually no morals, I was introduced to many people who worked part time (under assumed names) in the porn business as either camera guys, writers, or directors or producers and still worked during the day on mainstream industry films.

Shelley: What was it like being a director/producer?

Christopher: It was “okay” but the pressure and the demands were not as pleasant as one might think. There were times where I would get calls almost daily from Hustler execs, yelling and ranting and I thought “Really? You’re yelling? You’re cursing?” Believe it or not, it’s NOT a pleasant venture in this business; it’s cut throat, it’s evil and the men behind the masks, behind the power are rude, aggressive and simply don’t care, after all, you’re not filming a dramatic, you’re shooting porn.

Shelley: What is your worst memory?

Christopher: My worst memory was on the set of a Hustler film, I was shooting on location and the drug use was rampant with the talent, yet I was told to get it finished (it was a 5 days shoot) any which way I had to. If anybody tells you the porn industry does not endorse drug use is a liar. I’ve had my fair share of working with girls who worked with every top studio from Wicked to Hustler to Vivid and it was commonplace to make sure the girl(s) were ready, even if that meant drunk (alcohol was always provided and actually I was told when I first started working for Hustler, to provide alcohol on set, because it loosened up the people involved. Crazy.

Shelley: So it’s common for porn stars and crew to use drugs and alcohol on the set?

Christopher: Drugs and alcohol is used by ALL. No exceptions. It’s not out of the realm to have a drug dealer come on set and ‘hook’ women up. It simply happens all the time.

Shelley: What did you see going on the porn sets?

Christopher: I’ve seen some crazy things, drug habits, overdoses, fights between girls or girls and their boyfriends, boyfriends bringing their girlfriends to set bruised up, forcing them to perform simply to get a check. Again crazy things. I’ve seen girls come out of prison and go straight into this business. I’ve had a girl get pregnant from a movie I did for Hustler, there was no protection because Hustler and LFP frowned on condom use on set. Last I heard she was on probation and delivered the baby in jail. It was insane. But it was not uncommon for girls to get pregnant from a set shoot and then paid to have an abortion. This is the well-kept secret in the industry, Hustler, Vivid, Playboy all have a direct working relationship with Planned Parenthood and together they make a lot of money from one another. Girls would be told if they even were thought to be pregnant, they were given a pill (morning after) and it does happen quite a lot in the business.

Shelley: Were any of the women ever coerced or forced into doing sex acts they weren’t comfortable with?

Christopher: All the time. You have to remember, in the studios eyes women are nothing but meat. They are literally slaves, with the illusion of fame and fortune, but take it from me, they are not free moral agents in most circumstances, they are guided by habits, physical violence at home, or they are struggling to make payments on a mortgage. Nobody goes into this business for the “fun” of it.

Shelley: What is the average age of a girl who wanted to be in porn?

Christopher: 17. I don’t care what anyone tells you, 17 is the starting age of many girls in this business. The younger the more money it makes Hustler, Vivid, Wicked, Playboy and they know it too. I recall a girl, she had just turned 18 and we were in a coffee shop on a college campus, she asked me about getting into the business in one of my films I was planning. The next thing I know is, she’s topless. It’s that crazy. And the reason is, in most cases, they (girls) are looking for attention, someone to care for them because they aren’t getting that same love or attention at home. The sad thing is, the industry is filled with the faces of that same girl I remember those many years ago trying desperately to break into this industry. That’s why Hustler, Playboy, Wicked and other studios venture into the college campuses across the nation. It’s a pool of fresh meat. I’ve seen producers hook up with Ron Jeremy and do campus cattle calls and while on campuses, these same girls would perform sex acts on Ron or the producers or both or each other in front of hundreds wanting in. I personally know one of the producers who went to the big 10 campuses with Ron or without Ron and go into these bars and clubs, all of which are on colleges and Universities and persuade girls to get naked and have sex in PUBLIC! You simply don’t hear about this because it’s a well hidden secret. Sad.

Shelley: Why do you think women agree to do porn?

Christopher: I think women get into porn because they see an illusion presented to them. Hollywood, fame, reality programs play a HUGE part in the desire for any woman to get out of the hardness of life and make fast money and get a ‘name’ but the price is the soul. The desire for love is a big one and if that means they can be “loved” or have some sort of emotional aspect of love from a stranger, even if it’s on a porn set, for many that’s enough reason to get into the business. I think it’s also our culture today – especially young people today. 10 -20 years ago only certain types of women would dare even consider porn, but because porn has sadly become intermixed within our culture and it’s so “normal”, it’s no longer looked upon as a taboo, it’s almost a badge of honor.

Shelley: How do you feel about the recent condom ordinance that went into effect March 5? –

Christopher: From a mere health position, as insane as that is, it’s a start, but it doesn’t go far enough in my view – shut it all down is my view. But we live in a realistic world. Condoms won’t hinder HIV and they (studios and health professionals) know that!

Shelley: Yes, I feel the State of California must shut it down since the industry refuses to comply with health and safety and sex trafficking laws!

Shelley: Please watch this shocking video of footage of women being abused on the porn set and give me your input: *removed* (BEWARE GRAPHIC CONTENT!)

Christopher: It’s disturbing to say the least. I have heard of it happening because I heard the rumors going around town. There were an element of characters I stayed away from because they were, how do I put it, were bottom feeders. And let me say this, Hustler was no different. They didn’t care! The pressure for turnaround (money), marketing, sales and profit simply doesn’t include the safe and well-being of the talent, but why should it? In the major studios like Hustler or Vivid, it’s all about money; it’s never about the well-being of the woman or even the man. And let me just say this, too often we never see the end results of the men who get caught up in this, I know one individual who was a working actor in this business and he committed suicide. The trail of destruction is a long one, but it’s the price paid for fame.

Shelley: Are people in porn able to have loving relationships, marriages?

Christopher: No. It is impossible to separate the two for they are one and the same. Sooner or later that world, just like every other aspect of Hollywood, seeps into the private lives of those involved and the casualties are piling up. When I came into the business, I worked with a producer who was married and the marriage practically ended up in ruins. The most foolish thing one can say is that it doesn’t affect one’s life, but it does. I’ve known many who allowed their wives to act or do sex scenes with other men – or women, then they have a private affair and the man goes nuts -why? You weren’t so concerned when she was having sex with another man on set? The justification in the mind simply doesn’t make sense. The price for sin has always been an expensive one.

Shelley: How did you get out of porn? Who saved or helped you?

Christopher: I had a praying mom. I was in Los Angeles for a week, I was to meet execs from Vivid and then to meet execs from a mainstream studio, things were changing with me and I was barely holding on to my seat. That evening I was looking out my hotel room window, I watched the planes coming into LAX, they all lined up, and I thought, “They know where they’re going” but I didn’t. It wasn’t until a few nights later, I went to sleep one night, and I had just got a call from a certain friend (Pauly Shore) and all I can explain is that I went to sleep and suddenly had a vision. I saw myself standing by the side of the road, it was raining and I saw my body lying in the street under a crumbled car, I was obviously in a car crash and I knew I didn’t survive. I turned to the right and a black hole suddenly appeared out of nowhere as I found myself being pulled into it. I took one last look back, to catch a glimpse and there was one desire, if I could I would have fought to stay there, but the blackness over took me and I found myself moving deeper into what seemed like a tunnel of rock as I went further down, deep into the caverns and I knew within my spirit I was going to hell. The next thing I knew I was standing in an open space where I saw three holding cells, they were cubicle in design, but formed out of the earth and rock, and I knew that one of them was where I was going to be placed. I stood and contemplated my life and I knew that I would never come out of this place, this horrible place and more importantly, I would never hear my mom pray for me again – I was lost, without hope, without grace without Christ. Then suddenly, I was thrown back into the light and I woke up. I found myself in my bed, but my bed was literally covered in sweat, I had soaked my bed!

It was weeks later that I was driving back home, when I could literally hear God speak to my heart and he told me he was giving me a chance to make things right. Then one particular afternoon, I felt God convict my heart and I knew God was dealing with me to come home. I fought it at first, but then I simply asked Christ into my life and suddenly I knew, God loved me! Christ came into my life, forgave me of every wrong I ever did, he saved me from sin, death and hell. I cried all night practically, but I was overjoyed because I gave my life to Jesus Christ and he loved me enough that he saved me! Everything was gone, the sin, the guilt, the hate, the anger, everything, it was all gone the minute I accepted Christ into my life.

Since then I am preaching the gospel of Jesus Christ, a restored man who is new in Christ and telling the world that there is second chances – I’m living proof. 

Shelley: That is AWESOME Christopher! What are you doing now for Christ?

Christopher: I am a writer and author of many Christian articles and books and my ministry page is at http://www.facebook.com/clgministries. My books below can be purchased through Amazon online.

The Noah Files – 

Sodom USA –

I also travel across the Midwest and South proclaiming the Gospel in a tent ministry, where we see salvations, healing, miracles and the prophetic released upon people who desire to be set free from the bondages of sin. Currently I’m preparing for going into India and Africa then on into the UK preaching the gospel, seeing the sick healed and working in the prophetic.

Shelley: What would you like to tell those who are still caught up in the industry?

Christopher: If I could say one thing to those caught up within this industry, there is a way out – it is through Jesus Christ. No one will ever love you enough like Christ will. No one will ever change your life like Christ will. No one can ever remove the hurt, the pain, the bitterness, the guilt like Jesus Christ can. Men will promise you fame, money, success but all they are offering you is a temporary fix to a lifetime of pain, yet Jesus Christ came and died that you could have life and life more abundantly. The enemy is a liar, he comes to steal, kill and destroy and he’ll use whatever means necessary to do it, even if it means money, but Christ has come to set us free if we’ll just accept his love and forgiveness. God’s not on a guilt trip, he wants us to come to him, repent of our sins and live for him, but the only way we can receive that is by turning over our lives to Jesus Christ, his son. I hope and pray those who would read this would know that there is hope, there is mercy and there is love and it’s through Jesus Christ.

But let me add this one word to those within this industry, the power behind the studios, the men and women who are hell bent on destroying lives, who would mock my words – your day is coming. One day, unless you repent, will face an almighty God and this same God will judge you for every action, for every lie, for every deed done to make you rich, to make you wealthy on the backs and lives of these men and women, you WILL give and account for this and if you don’t repent and come to Christ, you’ll have to answer to God and on that day, you’ll have no excuse, no mercy and hell will await you. The Larry Flynt’s of the world, the Hugh Hefner’s, the Steve Hirsch’s, these men who have shown no mercy in their desire to get gain, will stand before God and they will have no answer. But Christ loved them enough to give them that opportunity to repent. But they will have much to answer for.

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: abortion, addiction, adult entertainment industry, affair, Affairs, alcohol, alcoholic, anonymous sex partners, call girls, castimonia, christian, escorts, gratification, healing, human trafficking, lust, masturbation, porn, porn industry, pornography, pornstar, pornstars, pregnancy, prostitute, prostitutes, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sex partners, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, STD, strippers, teen, teens

April 30, 2012 By Castimonia

Castimonia Saturday Morning Meeting Topic – 04/28/2012

RESENTMENT

A friend in recovery once told me that “resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die”.  So in essence, resentment is like drinking poison.  We poison our minds with resentments we hold onto and in some way, shape, or form, hope that the person we resent “feels” our pain.

Well this simply is not the case.  The person whom we resent does not, and cannot feel our pain.  Resentment, however affects us deeply and we feel the pain from our own resentment of others.  No matter what has happened in your life, no matter what was done to you, to hold onto a resentment is your own fault, not someone else’s.

I was sexually abused as a child, and for many years I had this hidden level of resentment for my abusers.  I always kept it hidden deep inside and did not really open up and discuss the resentment I really had for these individuals but in really I was just in denial about the abuse.  I did not even see it as abuse and a resentment until a therapist helped me see my abuse for what it really was, childhood sexual abuse.  Once I opened that door to the truth, I was flooded with feelings of sadness, anger, rage, hate and found myself resenting these other people and what they took from me; my innocence.  I was under the illusion that it was not childhood sexual abuse because my abusers were my age or a little older.  Also, I actually enjoyed the sexual acting out with one girl in particular and never questioned my friends when asked to perform sexual acts with them.  I was under the illusion that sex was part of friendship and that being loved by a female was translated through her wanting to be sexual with me, initiating the sex.  I grew up with this misconception and it greatly affected numerous relationships I had as an adult.

So how do I work on my resentment?  Well the 12 Steps has a solution on working on these issues.  Step 4 states, “Made a Searching and Fearless Inventory of Ourselves.”  What does this mean?  It means we look deep into our character defects and part of this looking deep is to look at where we still hold onto our resentments.

In working a Step 4 inventory on my resentment, I was able to properly list out the resentment, give specifics about why I am resentful, and then in Column 3 describe in detail how it affects me personally (self-esteem, security, ambitions, personal relationships, sex relations).  However, Column 4 is perhaps the most important column in this Step 4 resentment inventory.  In Column 4, we describe where we are wrong in holding onto this resentment.  We list where we were being selfish, dishonest, self-seeking, and frightened and thus held onto this resentment.

For the sake of time and space, I won’t go into all the details of working a Step 4 on my particular resentment.  Please consult with your sponsor for a detailed analysis on working a proper Step 4, as he might see things in your that you cannot see for yourself.

Today’s meeting was held at Rick’s Ranch in Sealy, TX.  The address and directions to the ranch can be found below.  Two or three more meetings this year will be held at Rick’s and we have food, fun, and fellowship afterward.  Getting to know one another outside a normal meeting setting is very important for establishing trust and friendships with one another in our recovery!

April 28, 2012 – Castimonia at Rick’s Ranch
On Saturday, April 28, 2012, Castimonia will NOT be meeting at The Fellowship at Cinco Ranch.  The church will be holding a parent’s summit that Saturday.  Castimonia will meet at Rick’s Ranch near Sealy, TX.  We will have our regular meeting at 10am and have a food fellowship at 11:30am.  We should be finished by 12:30pm but you may leave earlier if needed.

Rick’s Ranch
9597 SE I-10 Frontage Road
Sealy, TX  77474

Here’s a bing map of the location: http://binged.it/JD7AIE

Click on the map below for a full-size image with driving directions.

Filed Under: Saturday Morning Meeting Topics, Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: 12-step, addiction, affair, Affairs, alcohol, alcoholic, anonymous sex partners, call girls, castimonia, christian, escorts, father wound, gratification, healing, lust, masturbation, meeting, porn, pornography, pornstar, pornstars, prostitute, prostitutes, ptsd, purity, recovery, resentment, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sex partners, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, spouses, STD, Step 4, strippers

April 17, 2012 By Castimonia

Men’s Sexual Purity Recovery, Is it for you? 80/20 Principle – Part 3

In Men’s Sexual Purity Recovery, Is it for you? 80/20 Principle – Part 1 I openly discussed the issue with excessive lustful thoughts and self-gratification (masturbation).  In Men’s Sexual Purity Recovery, Is it for you? 80/20 Principle – Part 2 I go one level deeper into the viewing of pornography and its effects on the brain and how an addiction can quickly form.  In Part 3, I go further “down the scale” of sexual purity and look at situations where a man has crossed the “flesh line” so to speak.

The “flesh line” is best defined as the line that is crossed where a person knowingly has “impure” sexual intercourse with another person.   By “impure” I refer to sexual intercourse with anonymous sex partners, affair partners, prostitutes, or other “high-risk” persons that fulfill the fantasy or high.  Once this occurs, pornography and masturbation by themselves may never be “enough” to achieve the same sexual high achieved once the line has been crossed.  The battle becomes a lot more difficult and the consequences a lot higher once this occurs.  Crossing the flesh line now gives the person a taste of how much better the sexual gratification could be with the intense adrenaline rush from doing something “wrong” and also from the Neurochemicals pumping through the brain.  The intensity can be as much if not more than while viewing pornography.  Now the person can try to reenact the pornography they viewed with another person.  Sometimes with the other person’s consent, sometimes without.  A lot of times, they dehumanize the person and treat them like an object only for use for their sexual satisfaction, desperately trying to get the same level of high they had in previous acting out experiences.

The diagram to the left shows a progression of the disease beginning with the roots of unmet emotional needs (click on the diagram for a full-sized image).  Background information on this diagram and the progression will be discussed in another post.  However, this diagram clearly defines where the “flesh-line” (or Flesh Barrier as it is showing the diagram) lies and the resulting behaviors and consequences.  There are those of us in Castimonia who have passed the flesh line and have faced severe consequences such as diseases, loss of our jobs, loss of our marriage, violence toward us, prison, and even death!  What a man who struggles with sexual purity must understand is that if they do not take hold of the problem early on, they will end up suffering these consequences.  No matter how deceptive the man might be in fooling their loved ones, employers, etc… they are only fooling themselves.  One day, the truth will come out, and even though the damage has already been done with the sexual acting out, the consequences will come forward and might be more severe than when they were just struggling with lustful thoughts, masturbation, or viewing pornography.

My hope for every man who reads this blog is that it opens their eyes to a problem they might be denying.  That it helps them understand the problem and helps them understand that there are others who struggle with this issue and if not confronted, will escalate to the point where the consequences are severe!

In Part 4, I will answer the initial question asked in the topic title, “Men’s Sexual Purity Recovery, Is it for you?”

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, anonymous sex partners, call girls, castimonia, christian, escorts, gratification, lust, masturbation, porn, pornography, pornstar, prostitute, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sex partners, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, STD, strippers

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This site is intended for individuals who struggle with maintaining sexual purity. This information is posted for individuals at various stages in their recovery, year 1 to year 30+; what applies to some, may not apply others. Spouses are encouraged to read this blog with the caveat that they may not agree with, understand, or know the reason for some items posted. As always, take what you like and leave the rest.

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