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sex partners

May 12, 2012 By Castimonia

Interview – Behind the Scenes of a Pornographic Movie

I was disgusted by the reality of the “glamorous” porn industry!  It really sickens me how all these men and women act like it is the greatest thing ever, yet inside, they are slowly dying…  I am especially disgusted by the abortion relation in pornography and the making of pornographic movies:

” I’ve had a girl get pregnant from a movie I did for Hustler, there was no protection because Hustler and LFP frowned on condom use on set. Last I heard she was on probation and delivered the baby in jail. It was insane. But it was not uncommon for girls to get pregnant from a set shoot and then paid to have an abortion. This is the well-kept secret in the industry, Hustler, Vivid, Playboy all have a direct working relationship with Planned Parenthood and together they make a lot of money from one another. Girls would be told if they even were thought to be pregnant, they were given a pill (morning after) and it does happen quite a lot in the business.”

Because of how triggering this may be to recovering sex addicts or users of pornography, I have copied and pasted the entire interview and removed some of the offensive or triggering material.

Ex Hustler Producer Interview – Christopher Gregory 

With Shelly Lubben

Shelley: How did you get into the porn business?

Christopher: I got into the porn business by way of mere accident. I met a friend who was doing girls gone wild stuff and the curiosity got the better of me and when we started talking more about the industry; I thought it would be a way of A) making money and B) getting women. It was all a subtle slide down into the darkness that I thought was going to be fun.

Shelley: Did things that happened in your childhood have an influence on your choice to be a porn producer?

Christopher: Did things happen in my childhood affect my decision? Yes, only in the respect that I was in my early 20’s when my father died, I grew up in a traditional Christian home, actually, I got saved when I was 8 years old, but when I became older, after the loss of my dad, I grew angry and as most angry young men, I took off and found myself doing whatever I could to fill that void in my life. I thought everything and everyone was against me, even God, in my mind, left me. So as I grew older and traveled more and experienced more, it opened the door to the film industry and eventually leading me to Larry Flynt’s door.

Shelley: How long were you in the porn business?

Christopher: I was in the business for a very short time, almost 5 years (that’s short) compared to many. Again, to me it was a way to make money, build my name and then crossover. 20 Years ago that would have virtually impossible, but because Hollywood has virtually become an industry of virtually no morals, I was introduced to many people who worked part time (under assumed names) in the porn business as either camera guys, writers, or directors or producers and still worked during the day on mainstream industry films.

Shelley: What was it like being a director/producer?

Christopher: It was “okay” but the pressure and the demands were not as pleasant as one might think. There were times where I would get calls almost daily from Hustler execs, yelling and ranting and I thought “Really? You’re yelling? You’re cursing?” Believe it or not, it’s NOT a pleasant venture in this business; it’s cut throat, it’s evil and the men behind the masks, behind the power are rude, aggressive and simply don’t care, after all, you’re not filming a dramatic, you’re shooting porn.

Shelley: What is your worst memory?

Christopher: My worst memory was on the set of a Hustler film, I was shooting on location and the drug use was rampant with the talent, yet I was told to get it finished (it was a 5 days shoot) any which way I had to. If anybody tells you the porn industry does not endorse drug use is a liar. I’ve had my fair share of working with girls who worked with every top studio from Wicked to Hustler to Vivid and it was commonplace to make sure the girl(s) were ready, even if that meant drunk (alcohol was always provided and actually I was told when I first started working for Hustler, to provide alcohol on set, because it loosened up the people involved. Crazy.

Shelley: So it’s common for porn stars and crew to use drugs and alcohol on the set?

Christopher: Drugs and alcohol is used by ALL. No exceptions. It’s not out of the realm to have a drug dealer come on set and ‘hook’ women up. It simply happens all the time.

Shelley: What did you see going on the porn sets?

Christopher: I’ve seen some crazy things, drug habits, overdoses, fights between girls or girls and their boyfriends, boyfriends bringing their girlfriends to set bruised up, forcing them to perform simply to get a check. Again crazy things. I’ve seen girls come out of prison and go straight into this business. I’ve had a girl get pregnant from a movie I did for Hustler, there was no protection because Hustler and LFP frowned on condom use on set. Last I heard she was on probation and delivered the baby in jail. It was insane. But it was not uncommon for girls to get pregnant from a set shoot and then paid to have an abortion. This is the well-kept secret in the industry, Hustler, Vivid, Playboy all have a direct working relationship with Planned Parenthood and together they make a lot of money from one another. Girls would be told if they even were thought to be pregnant, they were given a pill (morning after) and it does happen quite a lot in the business.

Shelley: Were any of the women ever coerced or forced into doing sex acts they weren’t comfortable with?

Christopher: All the time. You have to remember, in the studios eyes women are nothing but meat. They are literally slaves, with the illusion of fame and fortune, but take it from me, they are not free moral agents in most circumstances, they are guided by habits, physical violence at home, or they are struggling to make payments on a mortgage. Nobody goes into this business for the “fun” of it.

Shelley: What is the average age of a girl who wanted to be in porn?

Christopher: 17. I don’t care what anyone tells you, 17 is the starting age of many girls in this business. The younger the more money it makes Hustler, Vivid, Wicked, Playboy and they know it too. I recall a girl, she had just turned 18 and we were in a coffee shop on a college campus, she asked me about getting into the business in one of my films I was planning. The next thing I know is, she’s topless. It’s that crazy. And the reason is, in most cases, they (girls) are looking for attention, someone to care for them because they aren’t getting that same love or attention at home. The sad thing is, the industry is filled with the faces of that same girl I remember those many years ago trying desperately to break into this industry. That’s why Hustler, Playboy, Wicked and other studios venture into the college campuses across the nation. It’s a pool of fresh meat. I’ve seen producers hook up with Ron Jeremy and do campus cattle calls and while on campuses, these same girls would perform sex acts on Ron or the producers or both or each other in front of hundreds wanting in. I personally know one of the producers who went to the big 10 campuses with Ron or without Ron and go into these bars and clubs, all of which are on colleges and Universities and persuade girls to get naked and have sex in PUBLIC! You simply don’t hear about this because it’s a well hidden secret. Sad.

Shelley: Why do you think women agree to do porn?

Christopher: I think women get into porn because they see an illusion presented to them. Hollywood, fame, reality programs play a HUGE part in the desire for any woman to get out of the hardness of life and make fast money and get a ‘name’ but the price is the soul. The desire for love is a big one and if that means they can be “loved” or have some sort of emotional aspect of love from a stranger, even if it’s on a porn set, for many that’s enough reason to get into the business. I think it’s also our culture today – especially young people today. 10 -20 years ago only certain types of women would dare even consider porn, but because porn has sadly become intermixed within our culture and it’s so “normal”, it’s no longer looked upon as a taboo, it’s almost a badge of honor.

Shelley: How do you feel about the recent condom ordinance that went into effect March 5? –

Christopher: From a mere health position, as insane as that is, it’s a start, but it doesn’t go far enough in my view – shut it all down is my view. But we live in a realistic world. Condoms won’t hinder HIV and they (studios and health professionals) know that!

Shelley: Yes, I feel the State of California must shut it down since the industry refuses to comply with health and safety and sex trafficking laws!

Shelley: Please watch this shocking video of footage of women being abused on the porn set and give me your input: *removed* (BEWARE GRAPHIC CONTENT!)

Christopher: It’s disturbing to say the least. I have heard of it happening because I heard the rumors going around town. There were an element of characters I stayed away from because they were, how do I put it, were bottom feeders. And let me say this, Hustler was no different. They didn’t care! The pressure for turnaround (money), marketing, sales and profit simply doesn’t include the safe and well-being of the talent, but why should it? In the major studios like Hustler or Vivid, it’s all about money; it’s never about the well-being of the woman or even the man. And let me just say this, too often we never see the end results of the men who get caught up in this, I know one individual who was a working actor in this business and he committed suicide. The trail of destruction is a long one, but it’s the price paid for fame.

Shelley: Are people in porn able to have loving relationships, marriages?

Christopher: No. It is impossible to separate the two for they are one and the same. Sooner or later that world, just like every other aspect of Hollywood, seeps into the private lives of those involved and the casualties are piling up. When I came into the business, I worked with a producer who was married and the marriage practically ended up in ruins. The most foolish thing one can say is that it doesn’t affect one’s life, but it does. I’ve known many who allowed their wives to act or do sex scenes with other men – or women, then they have a private affair and the man goes nuts -why? You weren’t so concerned when she was having sex with another man on set? The justification in the mind simply doesn’t make sense. The price for sin has always been an expensive one.

Shelley: How did you get out of porn? Who saved or helped you?

Christopher: I had a praying mom. I was in Los Angeles for a week, I was to meet execs from Vivid and then to meet execs from a mainstream studio, things were changing with me and I was barely holding on to my seat. That evening I was looking out my hotel room window, I watched the planes coming into LAX, they all lined up, and I thought, “They know where they’re going” but I didn’t. It wasn’t until a few nights later, I went to sleep one night, and I had just got a call from a certain friend (Pauly Shore) and all I can explain is that I went to sleep and suddenly had a vision. I saw myself standing by the side of the road, it was raining and I saw my body lying in the street under a crumbled car, I was obviously in a car crash and I knew I didn’t survive. I turned to the right and a black hole suddenly appeared out of nowhere as I found myself being pulled into it. I took one last look back, to catch a glimpse and there was one desire, if I could I would have fought to stay there, but the blackness over took me and I found myself moving deeper into what seemed like a tunnel of rock as I went further down, deep into the caverns and I knew within my spirit I was going to hell. The next thing I knew I was standing in an open space where I saw three holding cells, they were cubicle in design, but formed out of the earth and rock, and I knew that one of them was where I was going to be placed. I stood and contemplated my life and I knew that I would never come out of this place, this horrible place and more importantly, I would never hear my mom pray for me again – I was lost, without hope, without grace without Christ. Then suddenly, I was thrown back into the light and I woke up. I found myself in my bed, but my bed was literally covered in sweat, I had soaked my bed!

It was weeks later that I was driving back home, when I could literally hear God speak to my heart and he told me he was giving me a chance to make things right. Then one particular afternoon, I felt God convict my heart and I knew God was dealing with me to come home. I fought it at first, but then I simply asked Christ into my life and suddenly I knew, God loved me! Christ came into my life, forgave me of every wrong I ever did, he saved me from sin, death and hell. I cried all night practically, but I was overjoyed because I gave my life to Jesus Christ and he loved me enough that he saved me! Everything was gone, the sin, the guilt, the hate, the anger, everything, it was all gone the minute I accepted Christ into my life.

Since then I am preaching the gospel of Jesus Christ, a restored man who is new in Christ and telling the world that there is second chances – I’m living proof. 

Shelley: That is AWESOME Christopher! What are you doing now for Christ?

Christopher: I am a writer and author of many Christian articles and books and my ministry page is at http://www.facebook.com/clgministries. My books below can be purchased through Amazon online.

The Noah Files – 

Sodom USA –

I also travel across the Midwest and South proclaiming the Gospel in a tent ministry, where we see salvations, healing, miracles and the prophetic released upon people who desire to be set free from the bondages of sin. Currently I’m preparing for going into India and Africa then on into the UK preaching the gospel, seeing the sick healed and working in the prophetic.

Shelley: What would you like to tell those who are still caught up in the industry?

Christopher: If I could say one thing to those caught up within this industry, there is a way out – it is through Jesus Christ. No one will ever love you enough like Christ will. No one will ever change your life like Christ will. No one can ever remove the hurt, the pain, the bitterness, the guilt like Jesus Christ can. Men will promise you fame, money, success but all they are offering you is a temporary fix to a lifetime of pain, yet Jesus Christ came and died that you could have life and life more abundantly. The enemy is a liar, he comes to steal, kill and destroy and he’ll use whatever means necessary to do it, even if it means money, but Christ has come to set us free if we’ll just accept his love and forgiveness. God’s not on a guilt trip, he wants us to come to him, repent of our sins and live for him, but the only way we can receive that is by turning over our lives to Jesus Christ, his son. I hope and pray those who would read this would know that there is hope, there is mercy and there is love and it’s through Jesus Christ.

But let me add this one word to those within this industry, the power behind the studios, the men and women who are hell bent on destroying lives, who would mock my words – your day is coming. One day, unless you repent, will face an almighty God and this same God will judge you for every action, for every lie, for every deed done to make you rich, to make you wealthy on the backs and lives of these men and women, you WILL give and account for this and if you don’t repent and come to Christ, you’ll have to answer to God and on that day, you’ll have no excuse, no mercy and hell will await you. The Larry Flynt’s of the world, the Hugh Hefner’s, the Steve Hirsch’s, these men who have shown no mercy in their desire to get gain, will stand before God and they will have no answer. But Christ loved them enough to give them that opportunity to repent. But they will have much to answer for.

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: abortion, addiction, adult entertainment industry, affair, Affairs, alcohol, alcoholic, anonymous sex partners, call girls, castimonia, christian, escorts, gratification, healing, human trafficking, lust, masturbation, porn, porn industry, pornography, pornstar, pornstars, pregnancy, prostitute, prostitutes, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sex partners, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, STD, strippers, teen, teens

May 10, 2012 By Castimonia

Castimonia Meeting Topic April – Working Step 4

Step 4 – Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
“Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the LORD.” (Lamentations 3:40)

Have you ever seen the movie “Raiders of the Lost Ark” particularly the end scene in the movie?  This is the scene where a warehouse caretaker slowly rolls the Ark, now placed in a wooden crate, down an aisle and over to an unmarked section of a gigantic warehouse full of other wooden crates.  It is a great picture of the warehouse we have stored inside.  I’m sure the caretaker has written down every crate, it’s location, and its content and can easily find the needed crate when required.  Can you imagine if the caretaker did not write down this information and only did it by memory?  The Ark would be lost forever!

In understanding Step 4, we need to realize that Step 4 is a written inventory, not just one we think about.  We take time to write down all this information we discover about ourselves with the help of the Holy Spirit and our friends in recovery.

A great Step 4 format I like to use is available in our resources section on Castimonia.org.  It is taken from royy.com and was produced by various Alcoholics Anonymous members.  I will discuss this format of working a proper Step 4.

Click here for the Step 4 PDF file

The first part of the inventory is our checklist of Flaws and Assets.  We select which flaws (also known as Character Defects) we currently are aware of and ask others to help us determine other flaws they see in us.  We also select our character assets as seen by ourselves and by others.  It is important not to bury ourselves in the negative of our character flaws; we must understand that we also have character assets!  Typically, we select double the amount of assets as we do flaws so as to not beat ourselves up over our defects of character.  The sheets have room for 12 flaws and 24 assets.

We then begin with the review of our flaws.  We list the specific flaw (or group of flaws if synonymous) and then we give an example of when this flaw came up in our lives.  For example, if we were impatient, we clearly describe when we were impatient, what happened, why we reacted with impatience.  The more thorough the description, the better the results.

After we write in our top 12 character flaws, we begin with our character assets.  Again, we list the asset and then give a clear description of how we used that asset and the circumstances surrounding it.  Perhaps we list brave as a character asset.  In giving an example of this asset, we can describe the first time we attended Castimonia or another sexual recovery meeting!  Again, the more thorough the description, the better the results.

In the next section, we tackle what is one of the most important issues we will face in working our recovery – our resentments!  In working a Step 4 inventory on our resentments, we are able to properly list out the resentment, give specifics about why we are resentful, and then in Column 3 describe in detail how it affects us personally (self-esteem, security, ambitions, personal relationships, sex relations). However, Column 4 is perhaps the most important column in this Step 4 resentment inventory. In Column 4, we describe where we are wrong in holding onto this resentment. We list where we were being selfish, dishonest, self-seeking, and frightened and thus held onto this resentment.  A thorough explanation can be found on the worksheet linked at the beginning of this post as well as from your sponsor.

After writing down all of our resentments and why we were wrong in holding on to them, we begin our list of fears.  Fear can be a very strong driving force in our addiction.  I once heard fear used as an acronym – Future/False Events Appearing Real.  In other words, things that have not yet occurred in real life, will definitely occur or have already occurred – in our minds!  There is a list of fears written on the preceding page, however, you can list others if you need.  I used the image of the creature from the movie Alien to represent something absurd I fear, something totally and completely in my mind.  I fear this creature even though it never existed.  There are of course, more realistic fears in life, financial, health, family, relationships, but again, most of our fear comes from our own minds and are things out of our control and can cripple us if we allow it.

Finally, we reach the last section of the worksheet.  This is something we are very familiar with in that we have looked at this problem in our 1st Step.  However, here we can tie in more specific reasons or feelings surrounding our sexual misconduct.  This will help us when we make a list of persons we had harmed in Step 8 and make amends in Step 9.

For today’s topic, I read through two books, The Twelve Steps for Christians and the Sex Addicts Anonymous Green Book as well as reviewed the Step 4 Inventory Workbook.  I like to read from both books because they are both extremely insightful.  The Twelve Steps for Christians touches my Christian roots and the SAA Green Book deals specifically with my sex addiction recovery.  The Step 4 Inventory workbook is one of the better, free, workbooks I have used.  I use this workbook whenever I need to work Steps 4 and 5.

Take what you like and leave the rest.

Filed Under: Meeting Topics, Monday Night Meeting Topics, Saturday Morning Meeting Topics Tagged With: addiction, affair, Affairs, alcohol, alcoholic, anonymous sex partners, call girls, castimonia, Character Defects, christian, escorts, Fear, gratification, healing, Inventory, Lamentations, lust, masturbation, porn, pornography, pornstar, pornstars, prostitute, prostitutes, purity, recovery, resentment, Resentments, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sex partners, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, spouses, Step 4, strippers, trauma

May 6, 2012 By Castimonia

Video – The Dark Reality of Pornography

I found this short video on the “rape for profit” website that combats sex trafficking in the United States.

Donny Pauling, a former porn producer for Playboy, sits down with us and discusses the dark reality of Porn…

Full interview:

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts, Videos Tagged With: addiction, Affairs, anonymous sex partners, call girls, castimonia, christian, escorts, gratification, lust, masturbation, porn, pornography, pornstar, pornstars, prostitute, prostitutes, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sex partners, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, strippers

May 3, 2012 By Castimonia

Video – Three Ways Pornography Drives The Demand For Sex Trafficking

I found this short video on the “rape for profit” website that combats sex trafficking in the United States.

Noel Bouche, VP of pureHOPE and a lawyer, sits down with us and discusses the 3 ways that Porn drives the demand for sex trafficking

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts, Videos Tagged With: addiction, affair, Affairs, anonymous sex partners, call girls, castimonia, christian, escorts, gratification, human trafficking, lust, masturbation, porn, pornography, pornstar, pornstars, prostitute, prostitutes, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sex partners, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, strippers

May 1, 2012 By Castimonia

Addiction and the Road to Recovery

This is an old article from 2009 written by Steve Arterburn.  I found it informative and related to sexual purity, addictions, and seeking help from our Higher Power.

Addiction and the Road to Recovery

Steve Arterburn

New Life Ministries

Acceptance is the first principle of recovery. Recovery begins when an individual moves from denial to acceptance. It does not happen all at once, and it isn’t something that another person can do for the individual suffering from an addiction. Still, each time you confront a person with reality you help bring him closer to accepting his situation and seeing the need to change.

Most people have lived in denial for years before they come for help. Often they have been surrounded by “co-conspirators” who have enabled their dysfunctional behavior to continue and who have reinforced their denial system. Together they have constructed a delusional world where the full extent of the problem is never acknowledged, let alone dealt with. The first job of treatment, then—and the first step toward recovery—is to bring someone to the point of acceptance.

Sometimes people ask if a person can be helped who does not want help. Usually…

Click here for entire article

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, affair, Affairs, alcoholic, anonymous sex partners, call girls, castimonia, christian, escorts, gratification, healing, lust, masturbation, porn, pornography, pornstar, pornstars, prostitute, prostitutes, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sex partners, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity

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This site is intended for individuals who struggle with maintaining sexual purity. This information is posted for individuals at various stages in their recovery, year 1 to year 30+; what applies to some, may not apply others. Spouses are encouraged to read this blog with the caveat that they may not agree with, understand, or know the reason for some items posted. As always, take what you like and leave the rest.

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