CASTIMONIA

Sexual Purity Support & Recovery Group

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What To Do When Jesus Is Watching Porn With You

Originally posted at: http://prevailingwordministries.wordpress.com/2014/12/03/what-to-do-when-jesus-is-watching-porn-with-you/
by prevailing word ministries

There are many professed believers that watch porn. Few would be willing enough to confess that Jesus is there, watching porn with them.

To them, as it was with me, we’ve completely ignore the fact that the Lord Jesus is watching what we were watching. Some consider this to be a joke but when you look at several verses of Scripture, we see that the Lord is there with us, watching what we are watching.

Therefore, it is not a joke.

We who claim to be in Christ and Christ is in us, know for a fact that the Lord is present.

Every time I watched porn and masturbated, the Lord was right there. You can know that He was disgusted with the performance of sexual sin in my life.

In fact, at one point, He was so angry, that while I was watching porn and masturbating a few years ago, He said to me, “You could be watching your own daughter.” 

Sadly, that didn’t shake me up to stop. I suppressed the truth in unrighteousness. But what He said to me stayed with me until December, 2008.

After receiving a much needed miracle, I went back to old habits.

While watching porn and masturbating, the Lord said to me, “Is this what you do to Me after all the good I’ve done for you?”

That’s when I knew it had to end or else.

At that moment, the fear or being very afraid of loosing it all became very apparent.

If I refused and rebelled, I would be devoured.

The fear of God taking away that much needed miracle, let alone, the fact that dying in sin would place me in a position of jeopardizing my salvation. It’s a scary thing to die in sin. The Bible tells us that “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.” and “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge.”

Many have taught the fear of the Lord with one definition in mind.

“Reverential fear.” 

But in the definition, many have left out this definition. “The dread…”

We have forgotten how to be very afraid of the God of heaven and earth. So much so that sin becomes easy to commit because we are not afraid of God. We have convoluted our minds and erected another kind of god that we want who would look the other way when we sin. Gives us permission to sin based on the warped reasons behind what we do.

We say things like…….“God, you understand me. You know my heart.”

Yes, God knows that our “…heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked.” Jeremiah 17:9

We say things like…… “God, you know I can’t do without extra curricular releasing sexual tension.”

Yes, God knows that “Marriage is honorable among all and the bed undefiled (no human waste) but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.”

This is how the devil gets us.

We watch certain TV shows that lead us from minor lewd stuff, to salacious shows that trigger lust in our flesh, to soft and then hard core porn.

Some of the shows that are being watched today is just a door to porn. As soon as the show on the national network goes to a hot sexy steaming episode and then fade to black, you know that this isn’t enough.

You take it to the next level.

PPV porn.

Internet porn.

Or even worse. You search for a prostitute, or you are involved with an immoral woman in adultery. If you are single, you are probably fornicating or having illegal sex outside of marriage.

There is no question in my mind that you know that the Lord is watching.

But here are a few Scriptures to remind you.

2 Chronicles 16:9 “For the eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to show Himself strong on behalf of those whose heart is loyal to Him.”

Ezekiel 8:12 “Then He said to me, “Son of man, have you seen what the elders of the house of Israel do in the dark, every man in the room of his idols? For they say, ‘The Lord does not see us, the Lord has forsaken the land.’”

Psalm 139:7-12 “Where can I go from Your Spirit?
Or where can I flee from Your presence?
If I ascend into heaven, You are there;
If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there.
If I take the wings of the morning,
And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
Even there Your hand shall lead me,
And Your right hand shall hold me.
If I say, “Surely the darkness shall fall on me,”
Even the night shall be light about me;
Indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You,
But the night shines as the day;
The darkness and the light are both alike to You.”

It is true that these Scriptures will not deter a man or woman bent on watching porn.

Sickness and disease will not deter an immoral man or woman from sexual immorality.

Getting caught is not of concern for the sexually immoral people because what is more important is achieving the goal of covetousness, which is idolatry (see Colossians 3:5). The goal of covetousness is to “get off.” 

That’s why immoral men and women “suppress the truth in unrighteousness…”

Sexually immoral men and women suppress the truth in unrighteousness because they want to continue in sin, thus, remaining in their bondage.

Yes, and Jesus is there. Watching it all. It’s all being recorded in a book. Every sinful thought, every sinful word, and every evil deed. Everything is being recorded, only to be revealed later in the day of judgment. To be used against you when you stand before the Lord on the day of judgment.

Romans 14:5-10-12 “For we shall all stand before the judgment seat of Christ. For it is written: “As I live, says the Lord, Every knee shall bow to Me, and every tongue shall confess to God.” So then each of us shall give account of himself to God.”

This judgment is for believers, not for sinners.

2 Corinthians 5:10-11 “For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may receive the things done in the body, according to what he has done, whether good or bad. Knowing, therefore, the terror of the Lord, we persuade men; but we are well known to God, and I also trust are well known in your consciences.”

As a believer, you and I have no business watching porn.

But just in case you believe that Jesus isn’t watching, you do not have to look over your shoulder. God knows how to be present and walk away from you at the same time.

For believers, we all have a chance to repent and get it right before we are judged.

This is where taking communion is potentially lethal.

1 Corinthians 11:27-32 “Therefore whoever eats this bread or drinks this cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty of the body and blood of the Lord. But let a man examine himself, and so let him eat of the bread and drink of the cup. For he who eats and drinks in an unworthy manner eats and drinks judgment to himself, not discerning the Lord’s body.

For this reason many are weak and sick among you, and many sleep.

For if we would judge ourselves, we would not be judged. But when we are judged, we are chastened by the Lord, that we may not be condemned with the world.”

Verse 30 of The Amplified Bible says this….“That [careless and unworthy participation] is the reason many of you are weak and sickly, and quite enough of you have fallen into the sleep of death.”

So what will it take for you to stop sinning?

What will it take for you to know that the Lord is watching everything that we do and recording it. To be used against us on the day of judgment for believers.

For sinners, it’s worse.

From the Amplified Bible again….Revelation 21:8.

“But as for the cowards and the ignoble and the contemptible and the cravenly lacking in courage and the cowardly submissive, and as for the unbelieving and faithless, and as for the depraved and defiled with abominations, and as for murderers and the lewd and adulterous and the practicers of magic arts and the idolaters (those who give supreme devotion to anyone or anything other than God) and all liars (those who knowingly convey untruth by word or deed) — [all of these shall have] their part in the lake that blazes with fire and brimstone. This is the second death…”

So what do you do when Jesus is watching porn with you?

You already know the answer but many of you will not follow through.

Many of you will continue to profess to love the Lord but you love porn more.

Many of you will cry in hopelessness, get through that moment of relapse and cry tears in remorse.

Many of you will get over that moment of remorse and make provision to fulfill the lust in your heart, mind, and body, all over again.

I’ve been there.

Wondering if I would ever break free of porn and masturbation. Wondering if the Lord loved me. Wondering if God would forgive me.

Wondering if after all the frustration and disappointments in myself, that I would ever be worthy of His grace.

The ball is in your court.

What you do next will determine whether you remain in the house of bondage, or walk out of the open prison door.

 

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Castimonia Saturday Morning Meeting Topic – 12/29/2012 – Jesus Calling

jesuscallingbookIn this morning’s Castimonia meeting I read the daily devotional “Jesus Calling” by Sarah Young.

TRUST ME with every fiber of your being!  What I can accomplish in and through you is proportional to how much you depend on Me.  One aspect of this is the degree to which you trust Me in a crisis or major decision.  Some people fail miserably here, while others are at their best in tough times.  Another aspect is even more telling: the constancy of your trust in Me.  People who rely on Me in the midst of adversity may forget about Me when life is flowing smoothly.  Difficult times can jolt you into awareness of your need for Me, whereas smooth sailing can lull you into the stupor of self-sufficiency.

I care as much about your tiny trust-steps through daily life as about your dramatic leaps of faith.  You may think that no one notices, but the One who is always beside you sees everything – and rejoices.  Consistently trusting in Me is vital to flourishing in My Presence.

Psalm 40:4 – Blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, who does not look to the proud,  to those who turn aside to false gods.

Psalm 56:3-4 – When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. 4 In God, whose word I praise — in God I trust and am not afraid.  What can mere mortals do to me?

Psalm 62:8 – Trust in him at all times, you people;  pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.

Isaiah 26:3-4 – You will keep in perfect peace  those whose minds are steadfast,  because they trust in you. 4 Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord himself, is the Rock eternal.

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Video – Redeemed Ministries – a Houston, Texas Anti-Sexual Slavery Group

It truly is a “God thing” that I found Redeemed Ministries’ brochure on a table in the room where we hold the Saturday morning Castimonia meeting.  As we try to reduce the demand for sex trafficking, they are on the front lines attacking the supply, trying to help the women trapped in sexual slavery.  Please watch this video! For those of us living in the Houston metro area, it brings the issue of sexual slavery close to home.

Redeemed Ministries founded in 2005 is a faith-based non-profit 501 (c) 3 incorporated in the State of Texas.  We are an all volunteer organization with our people serving from a wide variety of church backgrounds with our unity found in serving Jesus our Lord and Savior.  Because we have seen and understand the problem in our community, we have set our core competencies include Outreach, Aftercare and Advocacy giving churches and their congregations the opportunity to network and find their place in the fight against human trafficking and commercial sexual exploitation.  Being a faith-based organization, it is our desire to share our passion and to bring unity to the whole church body and giving them the opportunity to engage as they feel led and called to use their gifts and talents in partnering with us to provide holistic care.

Redeemed Ministries serves the following mission: To bring Christ’s loving redemption and amazing liberation to those trapped and exploited within the commercial sex industry and/or by human trafficking for sexual exploitation or forced labor.

The core strategies of Redeemed Ministries are:

EDUCATE people – Raise awareness of the existence of modern day slavery
SEEK victims – Enter into the places of slavery to identify the enslaved.
BUILD relationships – Foster cooperation between legislators, law enforcement, service providers, etc.
IDENTIFY resources – Facilitate and advocate on behalf of victims to receive aftercare.
REDEEM hearts – Restore honor, worth, and reputation

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Saturday Morning Meeting Music Topic – Spirit Speaks

In today’s Castimonia meeting we listened to a great song that I relate to Step 12; Spirit Speaks by Know Hope Collective.  Below are the lyrics to this song and what it means to me.

Your spirit speaks, it moves in meKnow Hope Collective
And I’m awakened to Your love
You’re drawing me onto my knees
And I’m astounded by Your love

‘Cause You spoke life into my lungs
You are the air I breathe, You are the air I breathe
Still You move inside of me
You are the song I sing, You are the song I sing, yeah, yeah

You cover me with arms that reach
And I’m amazed by Your sweet grace
You set me free, You washed me clean
And I’m forgiven by Your grace

‘Cause You spoke life into my lungs
You are the air I breathe, You are the air I breathe
Still You move inside of me
You are the song I sing, You are the song I sing, yeah

With every breath I breathe, with every song I sing
I want to shout it out, Lord, I am listening
To every word You speak, I’ll go where You will lead
To love the least of these, my greatest offering

Lord, I am Listening

I don’t claim to have ever heard the voice of God, at least not yet.  However, I often joke that the Holy Spirit has an English accent.  The reason I state this is because my good friend Ken, who started Merimnao Healing Ministries (the parent ministry over Castimonia), prompted me to start a Christ-centered sexual purity group.  I’ll admit, initially I was afraid.  I was afraid of what other people would think of me.  We were relatively new to the church, maybe 2 years there, and not everyone knew my background.  I did know this, I was being called to begin something bigger than me, although at the time I did not realize it.  Therefore, I now shout out to the Lord, that I am listening to Him by going wherever He leads me.  Sometimes I become frightened about announcing my ministry or what I do, but I have to remember that it is God’s work, not mine, that I do and I need only worry about what He thinks about me, not what others think, thus I “carry this message to others.”

Awakened to Your love

Furthermore, I was awakened to God’s love as shown by my family and my brothers in Christ.  Actually, I was astounded by God’s love.  In my addiction, I did not believe that someone like me was lovable or worthy of another human’s love, much less that of God.  However, as I began to be set free from the chains of sexual addiction and as I was washed clean and forgiven by God’s grace, I saw this as possible.  Now, I chose to display God’s love to others, helping them be set free, by God, from the chains of sexual addiction.

The least of these – the most despised and afflicted

I do refer to the men who attend my group as “the least of these” for a reason.  The more I learn about sex addiction and attend meetings or trainings, the more I hear about the trauma these men and women went through as children, adolescences, and adults. I hear heartbreaking stories of sexual abuse, physical abuse, verbal and emotional abuse, isolation, abandonment, violence, rape, near-death experiences, etc…  When society hears of a “sex addict” the worst of the worst is assumed.  These humans are almost always automatically categorized as perverts, child molesters, and rapists; despised by the society that helped cause their affliction.  None of these men and women grew up with dreams of becoming a sex addict, it was thrust upon them at a young age, a way to escape what was going on in their life, a survival mechanism that became uncontrollable.

Therefore, I chose to start this group and love the “least of these”, even when nobody else in their life would.  This was my greatest offering to the Lord.  Coming alongside these men who struggle with sexual purity issues and helping them along the way, just as God placed men in my life to help me along the way.

This is why I relate this song to Step 12, “having had a spiritual awakening, as a result of these steps, I carry the message to others and practice these principles in my own life.” Better yet, “Praise be to God and father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.” (2 Corinthians 1:3-4)

Take what you like and leave the rest.

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One Man’s Testimony Saved My Daughter’s Life

Although this letter is deeply personal to me, I thought I would share with everyone the power of our testimony and how it can literally save someone’s life.  In this case, it was the life of my daughter Elizabeth, who turns 3 today.  I have edited the names to keep them anonymous.

****,

Sorry for the delayed response. I have been waiting for almost 3 years to let you know how your testimony changed my life forever. I am writing this out so you can send it to others if you choose, but honestly I get so emotional when I tell this story, I don’t think I could maintain my composure through the story.

On April 30, 2009 you gave your testimony at the Celebrate Recovery meeting at First Baptist Houston. I almost did not attend but my wife wanted to go to CR at that location after having attended previously. I went, with protest, but it was worth it. Funny how my codependency was actually a good thing that night!

When you started talking about the two girls you got pregnant in highschool I began to feel the Holy Spirit tugging at me. Then you stated how both women had told you they had an abortion but one of them lied and you had a son that you met 18 years later who is a good Christian man (forgive me if the details are not 100% correct). At this time I was crying. Why? Because I had scheduled to take my affair partner to the abortion clinic the very next morning. There was a high probability that the baby she was carrying was mine.

All night I was restless and couldn’t sleep. The next morning I dropped off my coworker at the office and rushed down to the hotel to pick up my affair partner and take her to the abortion clinic. She had planned to stay at this hotel after the abortion so she could recover. When I arrived I was full of anger of what I was about to do and then thought about your testimony and I broke down and told her that I would not take her, that I preferred adoption to abortion or even a far off chance that my wife and I would raise the baby. She said she would do it herself and that she would not have a married man’s baby. I told her everything I could think of to keep her from going to the clinic by herself or with someone else. I ended up leaving and prayed that she did not go through with it. I even lied to her one last time in an email begging her to keep the baby.

Elizabeth (Lizzie) was born on November 23, 2009. Her mother tested positive for meth and marijuana and this allowed the Holy Spirit to convict my wife to make the decision to file for custody of Elizabeth (that is another story of God answering my prayers). After 1 year of back and forth with Liz’s grandmother, mother, and all the attorneys, we were given custody of Elizabeth and she is now part of our family. Her grandmother (and mom) are still allowed visitation per a standard possession order but my wife and I are raising “Lizzie” along with our daughter Maddy who is now [5].

I apologize for not searching for you since, but at the Hope and Freedom retreat when ***** told me he plays at CR First Baptist, I asked him, and also ****, who the guy with “that” testimony was and how to get in contact with you. Both let me know it was probably “****” and ***** told me he would send me your contact info.

I just wanted to let you know how God worked through you and your testimony and how my life was changed forever because you had the courage to give your testimony to that particular CR group on that particular Thursday night.  I am very grateful for what you did. I am not certain how many times someone has been told how their testimony literally saved a life, but yours did!

I now have a Christian Sexual Purity Support & Recovery Ministry, Castimonia, in Katy and am still married to the love of my life, my beautiful wife Becky.  I have attached two photos, one of my two beautiful gifts from God, Maddy (4) and Lizzie (2) and one of our complete family. I believe, if I had not been at that CR meeting and you had not given your testimony, Lizzie would not be here with us today in those photos. God is amazing and I don’t always know why things happen the way they do, but I do know I can trust in Him. This is only one of the many miracles I have seen God perform in my own life.

Thank you and God bless,

Jorge

I had always been a supporter of those in the pro-life camp.  It wasn’t until I was confronted with my own sin and the possibility of taking my affair partner to have an abortion that I was truly tested.  My convictions were strong and all I could do was to stand firm and trust in God that there was a reason for the pregnancy and birth of this beautiful baby girl to two very selfish individuals.  There is a reason, I just don’t know it yet. 

What I do know is that I consider Lizzie to be my miracle child as I do Maddy.  Both have a special purpose in our lives and on this earth and both will grow up to hopefully glorify God and His mercy and grace.  I can only pray that I live long enough to see this occur with the two of them as they grow older and ask God to help me raise these two little girls in a godly home with my wife and I at the helm, following Christ down the long path of life.