Sexual Purity Support & Recovery Group
Bonus Episode 23 – The Perfect Storm
Where were you when everything stopped? I was traveling for work. Asking why.
I think that maybe just maybe…God is using this time because He knows it’s how he can bring so many back to Him. When they, like I did, reach the end of themselves.
I am humbled to announce that we will officially be starting a second Castimonia meeting on Tuesday nights in Big Flats, NY (near Corning and Elmira, NY) on February 19th. This is exactly how God’s ministry should grow. A member that attended in Sugar Land and Greenway was brave enough to take it to his location in New York answering, “Lord send me!” He then expanded His ministry in the New York area by getting his facilitators trained and starting this second meeting. I am very grateful for this man’s bravery and for his faithfulness to the Lord.
Location information is written below.
Beginning February 19th
Tuesday Nights
7:00PM – 8:30PM
The Bridge Wesleyan Church
561 Maple St.
Big Flats, NY 14814
Praise be to God, the father of our Lord Jesus Christ, for all He has done to grow His ministry!
In this morning’s Castimonia meeting I read the daily devotional “Jesus Calling” by Sarah Young.
TRUST ME with every fiber of your being! What I can accomplish in and through you is proportional to how much you depend on Me. One aspect of this is the degree to which you trust Me in a crisis or major decision. Some people fail miserably here, while others are at their best in tough times. Another aspect is even more telling: the constancy of your trust in Me. People who rely on Me in the midst of adversity may forget about Me when life is flowing smoothly. Difficult times can jolt you into awareness of your need for Me, whereas smooth sailing can lull you into the stupor of self-sufficiency.
I care as much about your tiny trust-steps through daily life as about your dramatic leaps of faith. You may think that no one notices, but the One who is always beside you sees everything – and rejoices. Consistently trusting in Me is vital to flourishing in My Presence.
Psalm 40:4 – Blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, who does not look to the proud, to those who turn aside to false gods.
Psalm 56:3-4 – When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. 4 In God, whose word I praise — in God I trust and am not afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?
Psalm 62:8 – Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.
Isaiah 26:3-4 – You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you. 4 Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord himself, is the Rock eternal.
Four Things I Learned That Helped My Marriage
by Wood F.
Oringinally posted to The City on June 3, 2012
I’m a fella who did not get what he deserved – I got grace, forgiveness and love. Real love. I’m coming up on a very important, personal anniversary this June 15th. As I refect on these last 21 years of my life, I see some things God had done in the process of transforming me.
I’d like to share just some things, not all of them – and my sharing does not imply that I have acheived perfection in these things, just progress. Perhaps by my sharing these things, you will find something helpful that you can usetoo.
First, I learned to communicate with my wife. Nothing strikes utter fear and terror in the
heart of a husband than to hear his wife say, “Honey, we have to talk”. But, I learned how to listen to her and hear more than her words – I learned to hear her heart. She learned that I am not always in touch with how I’m feeling or thinking about something, so she learned to help me get in touch with my own thoughts and feelings. It wasn’t easy to accomplish this – but, we worked at it, hard, everyday – and still do. I learned the art of communication cannot be accomplished passively.
Second, I learned that Betty is My Bride. I call her that often, in fact, as often as I can. I find it changes my attitude towards her. Calling her “my wife” just seems like I’m identifying a possession, but calling her “My Bride”, well, that’s different. I see her as a personal gift from God, like Eve was to Adam. If I ever want to know how God feels about me, I just look over at her, and there is living, breathing proof that God knows me, cares for me and loves me. I learned that when she challenges me and calls me into accountability, that I should listen to her. I find that if I’m getting defensive about something, then that usually means she is right. I don’t always respond well to that kind of chastening, but I have discovered that she sees things I often overlook. She fills in my blind spots for me and if I listen to her and heed her advice, life improves in many ways. Her challenges to me, often save me from making foolish decisions. See what a gift from God she is? She is My Bride.
Third – I learned to spend time with her. In fact, I would rather hang out with her than anyone else. I would rather sit next to her on our Love Seat, than do anything else in the whole world. That is a fact. I would rather go to a movie, eat out, watch TV, clean house, do laundry, cook, drive somewhere, go camping or pretty much anything – as long as I can do it with her. She is my best friend. I carve out moments of the evening, days of the weekends, nights of the weekdays – just to be with her. I text her, email her, call her – just to be in touch. She is priority number one.
F
ourth, I learned to be her encourager. I love nothing better than finding out what she would like to learn or experiment with, and make sure she can do it. I love to brag on her talents, encourage her explorations and cheer her on when she is doing what she loves. I don’t really care if what she wants to do costs money – so what? I spend it on her and for her. If I earn extra money by doing some side jobs, I love to give it to her or spend it on her.
My basic philosophy that guides me in all this is found in Ephesians 5:25-33
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
What that Scripture tells me, is that I am to give up my life for My Bride, just like Jesus gave up His life for His Bride. I am to do all I can to make certain she knows how precious she is. I am to do all I can to make certain she knows how loved she is.
If your marriage is in need of revival – if you feel your marriage is in trouble and you are looking for a sliver of hope to hang onto, then remember these words from Isaiah 42:3a, “
A bruised reed he will not break,
and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out.
God wants to your marriage to be a source of peace, contentment, restoration, fulfilment, satisfaction – and so many other good things. Marrage is supposed to be a blessing. If you will surrender your will to God, and allow Him to be in charge, your marriage can be so much more than you ever thought it could be. You cannot do this apart from God.
I guess my words are meant mostly for husbands, so, fellas, get out there and love your Bride the way Jesus loves His church.
Jesus Calling – May 10th
Do not resist or run from the difficulties in your life. These problems are not random mistakes; they are hand-tailored blessings designed for your benefit and growth. Embrace all the circumstances that I allow in your life, trusting Me to bring good out of them. View problems as opportunities to rely more fully on Me.
When you start to feel stressed, let those feelings alert you to your need for Me. Thus, your needs become doorways to deep dependence on Me and increasing intimacy between us. Although self-sufficiency is acclaimed in the world, reliance on Me produces abundant living in My kingdom. Thank Me for the difficulties in your life, since they provide protection from the idolatry of self-reliance.
John 15:5; 2 Corinthians 1:8-9; Ephesians 5:20
This was the devotional read by one of my accountability partners during our most recent accountability meeting. WOW! How amazing is our God, who works all things for our good. This also reminds me of how we define “Joy” at my church. Joy is the steadfast assurance that God is in control.
Sometimes (or a lot of times) in my life, difficulties occur. Prior to entering recovery, I relied only on myself, not on my God! This is the way I grew up, relying only on me, because nobody else was going to watch after me, so I had to do it for myself. Now, as a broken individual working towards wholeness, I must fully rely on God. One of the many blessings from my recovery program is the thought that every single day, I need to be willing to turn my life and will over to the care of God. It doesn’t always happen, from time to time I try to take my will back. However, I acknowledge that I am willing on a daily basis, and my recovery is based on progress, not perfection.
The biggest blessing was when I hit rock bottom. I was desperate, I wanted to run away, I wanted to go home, I wanted to live, I wanted to die. Actually, I was in such turmoil that I didn’t know what I wanted, but God knew what I needed. Again, He used my problems and mistakes to my benefit and growth. I have seen time and time again how when I trust God to the fullest, he pulls me through every single difficulty I have faced and will face. My sponsor always tells me, “it’s going to be OK, and if it’s not, then God is not finished.” Keep in mind that “OK” to God, is not always the same “OK” it is for me. I might not like what God’s version of “OK” is, but I need to keep in mind that it is in my best interest and maintain that “Joy” in my heart. If it took me hitting rock bottom and going through that pain and suffering to bring me closer to God, to help me trust Him, to bring about an intimate connection that I didn’t have before, then it was all worth it and I would do it again.
Take what you like and leave the rest.
References:
John 15:5 – “Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing.”
2 Corinthians 1:8-9 – 8 We think you ought to know, dear brothers and sisters, about the trouble we went through in the province of Asia. We were crushed and overwhelmed beyond our ability to endure, and we thought we would never live through it. 9 In fact, we expected to die. But as a result, we stopped relying on ourselves and learned to rely only on God, who raises the dead.
Ephesians 5:20 – And give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.
This site is intended for individuals who struggle with maintaining sexual purity. This information is posted for individuals at various stages in their recovery, year 1 to year 30+; what applies to some, may not apply others. Spouses are encouraged to read this blog with the caveat that they may not agree with, understand, or know the reason for some items posted. As always, take what you like and leave the rest.
