CASTIMONIA

Sexual Purity Support & Recovery Group

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Addicted to Porn: Chasing the Cardboard Butterfly Film Event

Register here: http://houstonsfirst.org/event/addicted-to-porn-chasing-the-cardboard-butterfly-film-event

A film event for parents, grandparents, men, women, singles — anybody in high school and above

Like it or not, porn is here and it is harmful. In this timely film, award-winning filmmaker Justin Hunt tactfully examines the impact of pornography on societies around the globe, from how it affects individuals’ brains, to the increased exposure of youth due to modern technology, to how porn literally can tear a family apart.

Dinner is available for purchase before the film, and a free dessert reception with the director will take place after the film.

About The Film

  • Addicted to Porn does not include any provocative imagery.
  • The film is narrated by James Hetfield, co-founder of Metallica.
  • Learn more about Addicted to Porn on the film’s official website.

Cost & Registration

  • $5 per ticket
  • $10 per ticket with dinner included
  • No charge for dessert reception
  • Registration for dinner and the movie is now available and will continue until Wed, Sep 27

Schedule

  • 5:45–6:45p — Dinner available
  • 7–8:30p — Film screening
  • 8:30p — Dessert reception

Register here: http://houstonsfirst.org/event/addicted-to-porn-chasing-the-cardboard-butterfly-film-event

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Should a Pastor be Fired if He’s Viewing Porn?

Ask adult Christians what should be done if their pastor is using pornography, and 41% say “He/she should be fired or asked to resign.”* Another 29% say the pastor should take a leave of absence until he/she stops using porn.  Those over 50 years of age were more adamant about that—47% of age 51-69 and 57% of age 70+ were ready to can the pastor.  But only 35% of age 25-30 and 27% of age 31-50 felt that way.

Wow! If that were the case, a lot of pastors would be out of a job! More than half (57%) of pastors say they are either currently struggling (14%) or have struggled in the past (43%) with pornography, and 33% of the ones currently struggling say they “are addicted” to porn.

Among youth pastors, the numbers are higher: 64% say they are struggling (21%) or have struggled in the past (43%).  A whopping 56% of those currently struggling say they “are addicted” to porn.

It is not surprising that pastors think a little differently than the 41% of lay people who say pastors should be fired.  Only 8% of pastors think that a pastor “should be fired or asked to resign” if found using porn.

And it is even less surprising to find out that 55% of those using porn “live in constant fear of being discovered.”  No kidding! I know of many pastors who, upon being discovered, lose their careers, their families, their homes, their friends, everything.  Some have even ended their own lives as a result of being discovered.

What solutions do pastors suggest?

  • 82% said they should find a professional counselor.
  • 59% said they should find “a group of mature Christians who can hold him accountable.”
  • Only 1% of the pastors said that the congregation should be told.

But congregations are  unaware of the scope of the problem.  Awareness precedes understanding, and understanding precedes action. Once the people understand how addictive porn is and recognize that pastors are as prone to the sin as anyone else, they can take action.

If there is no problem among your pastors, that’s great!  But as the pastors themselves say, accountability is the best preventive medicine.  How devastating it would be to coast along, thinking there will be no problem, only to find out you need to rehabilitate or replace a key staff person.  How disrupting to the ministry, how costly for the counseling, how humiliating for the staff—all of which could be headed off by installing Covenant Eyes on all of the staff computers to maintain accountability and have open and transparent conversations.

It would be like the Black Plague on the church if all of the struggling pastors had to resign.  I believe they need help, not banishment.  I also believe we need to educate the church that porn is a pervasive problem, and pastors are human, too.  If we force pastors to live in constant fear, we force them to NOT seek help, the very help they know is needed.

The majority of those who struggle know what must be done–they need professional counseling along with accountability partners.  But they aren’t going to seek that help if they can’t admit they struggle, and they can’t admit they struggle if they know they’re out the door the next minute.  We need to meet them at the foot of the cross, where Christ took on the burden of our sins, as well as those of our pastors.

Send your pastor to the Set Free Summit, and have him bring a copy of this article to the Covenant Eyes booth for a free year’s subscription of Covenant Eyes Internet Accountability for you or your pastor.

*All data in this article are from The Porn Phenomenon, a 2016 study by the Barna Group. Get the full results at the Summit.

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Journal Through Recovery Entry 48: Can Someone Spare Some Peace??

I was sitting in group tonight, caught up in my everyday life. The stressful day I had with my job. The things I needed to do at home. Worrying about my kids and the issues they have in their lives. Wondering what kind of mood my wife would be in when I got home, hoping for a relaxing and peaceful night. Peaceful. To be at peace. What does that mean? There are multiple definitions. I kind of like this one courtesy of Miriam-Websters: a state of serenity or tranquility. Ok, I am not aware of that state. I am most certainly not at peace.

So God has this great way of continuing to reinforce the lessons He has for me. Like this one. About peace. And that I am not familiar with that state. Just as I am thinking about peace and my lack of it and how I am sure I am the only one who isn’t at peace, another guy in our group says that he is afraid to be at peace. He never has been and in anxious just thinking about being at peace. Yeah, exactly. Not worrying makes me….worried!

Romans 5:1 says that since we have been made right in God’s sight by faith, we can have peace. 1 Peter 3 says that we are to seek peace and pursue it. In John 14, Jesus told us He was leaving his peace with us. The great writer C.S. Lewis said that God could not give us happiness and peace apart from himself. Yet…I am not comfortable with the idea of being at peace. I don’t know how to be at peace.

So then another guy said something that really solidified it for me. He said that he had been a Christian since he was 15 but he was just now grasping it, what it actually meant to be a Christian. He had been living in God’s grace but not pursuing righteousness. He hadn’t really been living out his faith. I had to just stop and meditate on that and how it applied or didn’t apply to me. It does. Apply to me, I mean. Stay with me.

When I did Step 3 and turned over my life and my will to the care of God, I chose to turn over my thoughts and actions to Him. What I haven’t done is really pursue His righteousness. I have been trying to live out the steps, to follow them, to use them as my path of sanctification. However, I hadn’t really consciously pursued God’s righteousness, to seek to become more like Him in how I live my life.

So what does that have to do with peace and being at peace? According to His word I can have peace because I have been made right in His sight by faith. Not only can I have it, I am supposed to PURSUE it. Really truly seek it out and aspire to leave at peace. That is a little different than where I am at the moment, not at peace. So, this is something I aspire to, to be at peace. At least some of the time. And peace for me means a state of serenity and tranquility. I like that goal. God, grant me peace.

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Don’t Let Anxiety Cause You To Panic …

…unless you’re in the movie “Airplane”, then you can panic.

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Don’t Take Ownership For Your Mate’s Life

Galatians 6:2-5 – “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. If anyone thinks they are something when they are not, they deceive themselves. Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else, for each one should carry their own load.”

When you marry someone, you take on the burden of loving your spouse deeply and caring for him or her as for no other. You care about how you affect your spouse; you care about your spouse’s welfare and feelings. If one spouse feels no sense of responsibility to the other, this spouse is, in effect, trying to live married life as a single person. On the other hand, you can’t cross the line of responsibility. You need to avoid taking ownership for your mate’s life.

The law of responsibility in marriage is this: We are responsible to each other, but not for each other. The Bible teaches it this way in Galatians 6:2-5: “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ” and “each one should carry his own load.” The word burden indicates a backbreaking boulder, such as a financial, health, or emotional crisis.

Spouses actively support each other when one is carrying an overwhelming burden. The term load, however, indicates one’s daily responsibilities of life. This includes one’s feelings, attitudes, values, and handling of life’s everyday difficulties. Spouses may help each other out with loads, but ultimately, each person must take care of his own daily responsibilities.

Two extremes occur in marriage when the law of responsibility is not obeyed. On the one hand, a husband will neglect his responsibility to love his wife. He may become selfish, inconsiderate, or hurtful. He will not consider how his actions affect and influence his mate. This is being irresponsible to a spouse.

On the other hand, a husband may take on responsibility his wife should be bearing. For example, his wife may be unhappy, and he may feel responsible for her happiness. Perhaps he feels that he isn’t making enough money, showing enough interest in her activities, or helping enough around the house. So he tries and tries to make an unhappy person happy. This is an impossible project. While a husband should be sympathetic toward his unhappy wife and take responsibility for his own hurtful behavior, he shouldn’t take responsibility for her feelings. They are hers, and she must handle them herself.

Couples have a duty to set limits on each spouse’s destructive acts or attitudes. For example, if a husband has a gambling problem, his wife needs to set appropriate limits, such as canceling his credit cards, separating their joint accounts, or insisting that he get professional help, to force him to take responsibility for his problem. The law of responsibility in marriage means that spouses refuse to rescue or enable the sinful or immature behavior of their partners.

This devotional is drawn from Boundaries in Marriage, by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend.