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Castimonia

May 4, 2014 By Castimonia

Silent Suffering

39774-sorgen-menschenLess than half of the men with mental health challenges ever get help for them. The reasons for this are many, including lack of information, stigma associated with mental illness, and masculine ideals. Men who adhere steadfastly to masculine norms, such as power, strength, and emotional control, may be most at risk for negative psychological outcomes. In fact, because so few men seek help for their problems, they are more vulnerable to suicide and substance abuse than females. Joshua L. Berger of Clark University’s Department of Psychology in Massachusetts wanted to examine the factors that prevent men from getting the help they need. In a recent study, Berger assessed the help seeking attitudes and avenues of men in need. He also looked at how they reacted to two common clinical terms: depression and anxiety. Overall, Berger found that the men who had the strongest affinity toward masculine norms were the least likely to seek help. They reacted the most dramatically to anxiety and depression, and were the least likely to consider medication as a treatment option. Berger also found that the men were more inclined to going to therapy if a psychotherapist recommended it rather than if it was suggested by a romantic partner or a family practitioner. They also cited individual talk therapy as their preferred mode of treatment. These findings demonstrate that even though friends and family members may mean well when offering help to their loved men in need of psychological treatment, suggestions from mental health professionals will have the most impact. Lowering men’s risk for suicide, drug and alcohol abuse, and other negative behaviors is paramount, and the evidence revealed in this study may bring the mental health profession one step closer toward achieving that goal. “Generally speaking, these results underscore the importance of considering the specific type of help under consideration when discussing men’s attitudes toward help-seeking,” Berger said. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/men-mental-health-treatment-1220121

“Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad.” – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts, Uncategorized Tagged With: addiction, affair, Affairs, anonymous sex partners, call girls, castimonia, christian, escorts, gratification, healing, human trafficking, Intimacy, Jesus Christ, lust, masturbation, meeting, porn, porn star, pornography, pornstar, pornstars, prostitute, prostitutes, ptsd, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sex partners, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, spouses, STD, strippers, trauma

May 1, 2014 By Castimonia

Roger’s Story (Video)

Roger’s journey of recovery has allowed him to face the pain of his childhood sexual abuse and to see how much of his acting out was an attempt to prove that he had what it took to be a man.

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts, Videos Tagged With: addiction, affair, Affairs, anonymous sex partners, call girls, castimonia, child sex abuse, child sexual abuse, childhood abuse, christian, Emotions, escorts, father wound, gratification, healing, human trafficking, Intimacy, Jesus Christ, lust, masturbation, porn, porn star, pornography, pornstar, prostitute, prostitutes, ptsd, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sex partners, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, spouses, STD, strippers, trauma

April 28, 2014 By Castimonia

More than 40% of children under 12 have watched pornography – and experts say it’s turning teenagers into SEX ADDICTS

  • The majority of sex addicts begin  experiencing problems before the age of 16, says addiction  expert
  • 40% of those questioned had watched porn  under the age of 12
  • Broken homes, single-sex schools and poor  sex education also to blame

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2246455/Sex-addiction-Online-pornography-poor-sex-education-blame-says-leading-expert.html

Easy access to online pornography and poor  sex education are largely to blame for teenagers suffering from sex addiction, a  leading expert has said.

Sex addiction therapist Paula Hall said almost half of those who suffer  with the problem first experienced problems  before they turned 16.

Her claims come after a survey she conducted  in conjunction with the counselling organisation Relate found  40 per cent of teenagers had used  pornography before the age of 12 and 90 per cent felt it was to blame for their  addiction.

Easy access: The increase in online porn has been blamed for a rise in sex addiction among teenagers (posed by model)Easy access: The increase in online porn has been blamed  for a rise in sex addiction among teenagers (posed by model)

The research also suggests that factors  such  as parental separation, single sex schooling and limited sex  education are all  contributing factors.

And nearly half of those  surveyed had  experienced some kind of childhood abuse or assault,  indicating this to be a  major cause of the condition

Hall’s survey of people with sex addiction,  conducted for her new book Understanding and Treating Sex Addiction, looked at  the age most people started, what factors led them there, whether they sought  help and the consequences of their addictions.

She defines sex addiction in its simplest  terms as: ‘a pattern of out-of-control sexual behaviour that causes problems in  someone’s life’.

Russell Brand claimed sex addiction almost ruined his careerRussell Brand claimed sex addiction almost ruined his  career

The survey also highlights the contrasts  between male and female attitudes about sex addiction.

Substantially more men seek help than women,  with 57.3 per cent of men seeking  professional help, and only 38.3 per cent of women.

In women, ‘affirmation and feeling wanted’  was their biggest ‘reward’ for their sexual behaviour, with 80 per cent of them  citing this as the reason.

For men, ‘excitement’ was identified as being  the biggest reward

But the results also indicate the damaging  consequences of sex addictions.

Sixty-five per cent of those questioned  struggled with low self-esteem and almost half experienced mental health  problems.

Nearly half had lost a partner because of  their behaviour and a quarter said it had effected their sexual functioning.

Furthermore, 63 per cent said their sex  addiction had wasted time and 42 per cent that they’d wasted money.

When asked what the biggest influence  was on  their sex addiction, ‘easy access’ and ‘lack of education’ were  both cited as  more significant than ‘negative’ childhood experiences.

Watching pornography was also identified as  being the most common result of addiction.

As Hall states: ‘The reality of the Western  world today is that ‘opportunity’ is everywhere and people, with or without a  background of trauma and/or attachment difficulties, can now indulge their  sexual desires and run the risk of becoming addicted’.

The results of the survey have been published  in her new book, Understanding and Treating Sex Addiction.

Earlier this year, Keir Starmer, the Director of Public Prosecutions and the country’s  top prosecutor said that teenage  relationships are becoming more abusive because of the easy access to internet  pornography, expressing his concern about the ‘exposure of young people to all  sorts of material’.

He admitted there could be a link between the  easy access to internet pornography for children and ’emerging research’ about  increasing violence in teenage relationships.

SIGNS OF SEX  ADDICTION

Dr Patrick Carnes,  one of the world’s leading experts in sexual addiction, suggests there are  various possible warning signs:
Feeling that your behaviour is out of  control

Feeling unable to  stop your behaviour, in spite of knowing the consequences

Persistently  pursuing destructive and/or high risk activities

Using sexual  fantasies as a way of coping with difficult feelings or  situations

Needing more  sexual activity in order to experience the same level of high

Suffering from  intense mood swings around sexual activity

Spending more time  either planning, engaging in or regretting and recovering from sexual  activities

Neglecting important  social, occupational or recreational activities in favour of sexual  behaviour

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, affair, Affairs, anonymous sex partners, call girls, castimonia, christian, escorts, gratification, healing, Intimacy, Jesus Christ, lust, porn, porn star, pornography, pornstar, pornstars, prostitute, prostitutes, ptsd, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, spouses, STD, strippers, trauma

April 26, 2014 By Castimonia

Porn Aftermath: 3 Simple Steps to Help Your Child Process Their Feelings

Posted on July 18, 2013 by Kristen Jenson

Shocking WebsiteSadly, it’s inevitable. At some point your child is going to be exposed to pornography. Hopefully, you’ve talked to them about what it is and why it’s dangerous. But even after several porn talks, kids need help sorting out their confused feelings. If they feel comfortable talking with you after they’ve been exposed, you’ve just added another layer in their armor against pornography. Especially if you can stay calm and reassuring.

I recently came across an excellent video on the Women for Decency website produced by LifeStar Network, a pornography and sexual addiction recovery organization. Jeffrey Ford, a licensed marriage and family therapist, discusses three steps you can take to help your child after they’ve seen pornography.

worried-boy1. Ask: How did your body feel? Ford advises parents to recognize that pornography arouses sexual feelings, which physically feel good. Acknowledging that sexual arousal feels good will avoid shaming your child about having normal sexual feelings.

2. Ask: How did you feel emotionally? Kids often say they feel sick to their stomach or “yukky” after seeing pornography. This is confusing. How can my body feel good but my emotions feel so bad at the same time?

3. Explain that marriage is the right time to experience sexual feelings. Teach them that both their bodies and their emotions can feel good when they grow up and find someone they love to marry. Sexual feelings are good and normal and designed to bring two people together and keep them together in a committed and loving relationship like marriage.

mom-talking-with-11-year-old-son

Depending on the type of pornography they’ve seen you may also want to reaffirm that sex is not about hurting another person, but it’s about showing kindness and affection.

Pornography gives very mixed messages to kids, which are extremely confusing. The worst case scenario is to have a child turn to the internet for more information on pornography.  As a parent, you can provide a safe setting for sorting out the confused feelings produced by seeing pornography.

I highly recommend watching this 4 minute video What if my child has been exposed?

Please leave a comment and let me know if you thought it was helpful! Thanks!

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, child, children, christian, Jesus Christ, lust, masturbation, porn, pornography, purity, recovery, sex addict, sex addiction, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity

April 24, 2014 By Castimonia

Ben’s Story (video)

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts, Videos Tagged With: addiction, castimonia, christian, gratification, healing, Intimacy, Jesus Christ, lust, masturbation, porn, porn star, pornography, pornstar, pornstars, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sex partners, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, spouses, trauma

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Castimonia Restoration Ministry, Inc. is a 501c3 non-profit organization


This site is intended for individuals who struggle with maintaining sexual purity. This information is posted for individuals at various stages in their recovery, year 1 to year 30+; what applies to some, may not apply others. Spouses are encouraged to read this blog with the caveat that they may not agree with, understand, or know the reason for some items posted. As always, take what you like and leave the rest.

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