CASTIMONIA

Sexual Purity Support & Recovery Group

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Castimonia Purity Podcast Episode 23: The Three Circles of Sex Addicts Anonymous

Sex Addiction recovery relies on several tools that addicts can learn from. One of those is the intentional decision to look at all behaviors and categorize them.  Certain behaviors are healthy, others are obviously sinful or dangerous, and other behaviors might not be “bad” but don’t lead us in a positive direction.

Jorge and Doug discuss the power in the circles as well as their history. Listen to how you can find healing in utilizing this resource in your own journey of healing.

For more information, please visit castimonia.org or email us at puritypodcast@castimonia.org, and remember that you are not walking this road alone.

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Journal Through Recovery Entry 08: Waiting for Disclosure

The directions for writing my disclosure and preparing for our intensive can be summarized as the following:

  • Construct a time line for every year up to now and fill in your entire sexual history (yes, from even before I married or dated my wife)
  • Your disclosure should be 12 to 20 double spaced typed pages and should take about 20 hours to write
  • Don’t include expressions of love or remorse or beg for forgiveness
  • Leave out extraneous details, just make it clinical
  • Don’t disclose ANYTHING ELSE until the clinical disclosure

Ok, that last part has been a major point of contention with my wife. She doesn’t understand it. Ok, well maybe she does she just doesn’t agree with it or want to follow it. She has been very angry that I get to know everything and she doesn’t. We have three more weeks until the intensive and disclosure. I don’t know if I am going to live through this part. No, seriously, I don’t know if she is going to allow me to live through this part.

Every day is a roller coaster ride of emotions. I am not sure how to respond. I yearn to retreat, go upstairs, turn on the tv, shut out her and the world. I cringe and withdraw when she yells and screams and rages. I make it even worse when I point out (probably sanctimoniously) how I am merely following directions and just can’t share any more details. See, I made that mistake already. I screwed up and let something slip I shouldn’t have let slip. Ok, I need to practice being honest. I told her something hoping to diffuse some of the anger and actually ignited a firestorm.

I had to this point only disclosed one affair partner. I had not admitted to any other instances of acting out in the past. She kept questioning me about why couldn’t I just verify and validate some things to give her some peace. Sounds reasonable, right? I took the easy way out. I didn’t stand up and follow directions. I tried to make things easier on me by not lying but by only telling a little bit in hopes that would appease her and I could get some peace and she would be satisfied for a while. So I told her that I had seen someone I met over the internet before we had kids, it didn’t mean anything, and it wasn’t anyone she knew. I reasoned that I would be preparing her for what was to come in disclosure, that my sexual sin was greater than one instance and that this would get her used to the idea.

That didn’t work the way I intended. I obviously don’t know what the hell I am doing. She melted down, threw me out of the house, and has been inconsolable for three days. I don’t know if she will continue with me. I have that my judgment sucks. I know I am stating the obvious but I think I am just now realizing that my decision making is terrible and obviously damaging. Oh yeah, I am a sex addict. I am destructive. Thank you God for allowing me to have paid therapists in my life who know what they are doing. I obviously don’t.

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Castimonia Purity Podcast Episode 22: Jorge’s Testimony

Jorge walks through his story of early exposure to pornography and sexual abuse. He talks about the tie-ins to his addiction in adulthood, and his out of control lifestyle.

He discusses his journey through a world of sex, power, and ego. He discusses finding true love and finding his hope in Christ who was waiting for him all along.

His powerful story is one that tells the power of God. If Jorge can find sobriety, healing, and freedom, anyone can.

Email us at puritypodcast@castimonia.org for more information, ideas, or to get help.  Remember that you are not walking this road alone.

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Set Free

Deep Jedi Thoughts

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The Man by the Pool

Only God knows what happened to this man the rest of his life but there is a lesson to be learned from this.  To be transformed or be in the process of healing without gratitude will eventually lead us back into our sin.

His work: Since the man by the pool was an invalid, he may have made his living by begging. His character: His role in the story seems almost entirely passive, perhaps in keeping with his character. He showed evidence neither of faith nor gratitude after the miracle of his healing and even went so far as to give evidence against Jesus to men who were hostile toward Jesus. Sin appears to have played a role in his condition. His sorrow: To have been paralyzed for nearly forty years. His triumph: To have been instantly healed. Key Scriptures: John 5

A Look at the Man

“Do you want to be healed?”

It was an outrageous question to ask a man who had been paralyzed for thirty-eight years, a man forced to beg for a living.

But there was a reason for the question. Perhaps, in fact, the paralyzed man wasn’t happy about the prospect of being healed. Maybe his disability offered a certain kind of security, enabling him at least to make a living as a beggar. His sudden cure would have undermined his many dependencies, his familiar routine, his ingrained view of himself. He would have had to start life all over again.

Or maybe he was offended by Jesus’ warning against sin. Perhaps he thought it would do Jesus good to receive his comeuppance at the hands of the religious leaders.

The story of the man by the pool reminds us that displays of God’s power are not enough to create faith in a person’s heart. Though the man had suffered for many years, he showed no evidence of gratitude and no evidence of belief. We expect him to fall on his knees when he is miraculously healed. But he doesn’t. We expect him to show some kind of curiosity about the person who healed him. But he doesn’t even ask Jesus his name until their second encounter. We expect him to protect Jesus against his detractors, to be scandalized by their blindness and self-righteousness. Instead, he reports Jesus to men he knew to be hostile toward Jesus.

In Matthew’s gospel, Jesus denounces the cities that had witnessed most of his miracles, because the vast majority of people there had failed to repent (Matthew 11:20). His words remind us that, even though miracles are evidence of God’s power and compassion, without faith we are still free to reject them, still free to conclude that his offer of mercy is irrelevant or unnecessary.

Though none of us know what went on in the heart of the man who was healed, we are troubled by the way he responded and the way he failed to respond to the miracle he experienced. We may even wonder if by his own choice he finally succeeded in placing himself beyond the reach of God’s mercy. Only God knows.

Reflect On: Psalm 86:1–8 Praise God: For his grace, mercy, and the faith to believe. Offer Thanks: For the blessings of healing and wholeness. Confess: Any tendency you may have to blame others rather than to admit your own sinfulness and receive Christ’s pardon. Ask God: To give you courage to stand, face those crippling hurts, and live with freedom and hope.

Today’s devotional is drawn from Men of the Bible: A One-Year Devotional Study of Men in Scripture by Ann Spangler and Robert Wolgemuth. Visit AnnSpangler.com to learn more about Ann’s writing and ministry.