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pornography

June 4, 2016 By Castimonia

To curb prostitution, punish those who buy sex rather than those who sell it

Originally posted at: https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/to-curb-prostitution-punish-those-who-buy-sex-rather-than-those-who-sell-it

By Jimmy Carter

Opinions

May 31

Jimmy Carter, the 39th president of the United States, is founder of the nonprofit Carter Center.

It is disturbing that some human rights and public health organizations are advocating the full legalization of the sex trade, including its most abusive aspects. I agree with Amnesty International, UNAIDS and other groups that say that those who sell sex acts should not be arrested or prosecuted, but I cannot support proposals to decriminalize buyers and pimps.

Some assert that this “profession” can be empowering and that legalizing and regulating all aspects of prostitution will mitigate the harm that accompanies it. But I cannot accept a policy prescription that codifies such a pernicious form of violence against women. Normalizing the act of buying sex also debases men by assuming that they are entitled to access women’s bodies for sexual gratification. If paying for sex is normalized, then every young boy will learn that women and girls are commodities to be bought and sold.

There is a much better policy option.

In my 2014 book “A Call to Action: Women, Religion, Violence and Power,” I described the approach known as the “Nordic model,” which is consistent with advancing human rights and healthy societies. Pioneered in Sweden and adopted most recently in Canada and France, this strategy involves decriminalizing prostituted women and offering them housing, job training and other services. Instead of penalizing the victims, however, the approach treats purchasing and profiting from sex acts as serious crimes. Another key component is public education about the inherent harms of prostitution for those whose bodies are sold.

In Sweden, demand for prostitution has fallen dramatically under this model. Conversely, Germany and New Zealand, which have legalized all aspects of prostitution, have seen an increase in sex trafficking and demand for sexual services.

Critics of the Nordic model assert that mature adults should be free to exchange money for sex. This argument ignores the power imbalance that defines the vast majority of sex-for-cash transactions, and it demeans the beauty of sexual relations when both parties are respected.

Sex between people who experience mutual enjoyment is a wonderful part of life. But when one party has power over another to demand sexual access, mutuality is extinguished, and the act becomes an expression of domination. As author and prostitution survivor Rachel Moran explained in her book, “Paid For,” once money has exchanged hands, a woman must deliver whatever service the customer demands.

In May 2015, when the Carter Center held a global summit to end sexual exploitation, sex-trade survivors, including Moran, described their painful journeys through exploitation. They told of the abuse they suffered — abuse that should be understood as torture. They expressed their determination to speak not only for themselves but also for those who are either too traumatized to come forward or who perished as a result of homicide, suicide, drug abuse or disease. They compare their movement to the abolition of slavery, an institution that once also seemed like a permanent fixture in society.

Prostitution is not the “oldest profession,” as the saying goes; it’s the oldest oppression.

Those survivors told us that they once believed that selling sex was their choice but that this attitude was a requirement for survival — that only once they were fully free from the fetters of the trade were they able to fully understand their lack of choice.

If full legalization is adopted, it will not be the “empowered sex worker” who will be the norm — it will be the millions of women and girls needed to fill the supply of bodies that an unlimited market of consumers will demand. Where do we think these young girls in the sex trade will come from? (Most victims are girls, though some boys are exploited, too.) It is simply naïve to oppose sex trafficking of children and women and at the same time support decriminalizing the buyers who create the demand and the pimps who profit from the supply of girls and women.

I believe it is better to help women and girls avoid a life of prostitution and to deter men from buying sex acts.

We must not abandon the equal dignity of each human being by simply regulating a form of abuse. There is a better way.

Filed Under: Saturday Morning Meeting Topics Tagged With: addiction, Affairs, alcoholic, castimonia, Character Defects, christian, co-dependency, Emotions, escorts, father wound, gratification, healing, Jesus Christ, lust, masturbation, porn, porn star, pornography, pornstar, pornstars, prostitute, prostitutes, ptsd, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, spouses, STD, strippers, trauma

June 3, 2016 By Castimonia

Two Tennessee ministers, 30 others snared in prostitution, human trafficking sting

This is what is called hitting “rock bottom.”  I pray all these men find the help they need.

By Hayes Hickman of the Knoxville News Sentinel

May 20, 2016     

KNOXVILLE — Two local ministers face felony charges for seeking sex with underage girls during an undercover sting targeting human trafficking and prostitution this week, authorities said Friday.

Jason Evan Kennedy, 46, head of the children’s ministry at Grace Baptist Church of Knoxville, was one of two men charged with felony human trafficking and patronizing prostitution after they answered online advertisements specifically offering sex with an underage girl, the Tennessee Bureau of Investigation announced during a news conference.

Also charged with felony trafficking is Zubin Percy Parakh, 32, of Oak Ridge, who serves as creative pastor with Lifehouse Church in Oak Ridge, according to the church’s website.

In reality, the ads were placed by law enforcement as part of a four-day sting operation at a North Knoxville motel, deemed “Operation Someone Like Me,” conducted by the Tennessee Bureau of Investigation and the Knoxville Police Department.

Another 25 men who responded to the ads were cited for patronizing prostitution. They include a local engineer and a volunteer firefighter, whom authorities did not identify Friday.

“Human trafficking is a demand-driven crime,” said Kate Trudell, executive director of the Knoxville-based Community Coalition Against Human Trafficking.

“This crime is grossly protected by stereotypes that tell us it happens to certain people in certain places and many of us like to believe that those people and those places are not here in Knoxville, Tenn. But folks, unfortunately they are.”

Knoxville Police Chief David Rausch added that the problem has evolved from traditional circumstances involving prostitutes motivated by drug addiction to become much more coercive, and often involuntary.

“It’s not what used to be out there,” Rausch said. “Now what we know is it’s deeper and uglier than that. It’s people completely being taken advantage of.”

Traffickers use “a number of scripts” to manipulate girls and young women, the police chief said, preying on victims of child sexual abuse and teenage runaways, as well as drug addicts, with offers such as modeling jobs.

“There’s a number of ways they get tied into it,” Rausch said.

Five women also were arrested on prostitution charges — three of whom accepted authorities’ offer to help them leave sex work. There were no underage girls recovered during the Knoxville operation, nor were any traffickers arrested.

Kennedy and Parakh were charged with felony trafficking because they specifically sought out an underage girl for sex, authorities said.

Kennedy was arrested Thursday during the sting operation at the Best Western Knoxville Suites, 5317 Pratt Road, in North Knoxville, authorities said.

He remained jailed Friday in lieu of $50,500 bond.

According to arrest warrants, Kennedy responded via text Thursday to an online ad posted on ********.com offering sex with two females, including one he was told “was 15, going on 16.”

After arriving at the motel, Kennedy “state that he wanted to have sex with both the underage juvenile and the other female in the room,” the warrants state. “The defendant placed the agreed amount of $100 on the counter. The defendant removed his pants and was taken into custody by law enforcement.”

Kennedy, a married father of three, was responsible for ministry for the church’s children from birth through fifth grade, according to a cached page of the church’s website from Feb. 13, 2015.

The Southern Baptist Convention lists Grace Baptist Church, celebrating its 100th year this year, as having more than 4,000 members with an average attendance of almost 2,500 people. The affiliation of Baptist churches has resources online to help a church’s staff check the backgrounds of potential hires, but any background check will fall short if a person has no previous arrests.

“The children’s pastor of Grace Baptist Church has been terminated as (a) result of an arrest in a police sting related to prostitution and human trafficking,” according to a statement released by the church Friday afternoon.

“The actions of the children’s pastor for which he has been arrested were part of his life outside the church, and we have received no questions or concerns related to his conduct within the church or its ministries.

“The children’s pastor was hired two-and-a-half years ago. The church’s background check turned up no issues that indicate any previous problem. In fact, the children’s pastor in his application affirmed that he had no issues in his background of a criminal or other nature.

“We are praying for his family and will continue to provide the services of our ministry to them.”

Parakh initially was cited for patronizing prostitution and released. Authorities have since secured a warrant for his arrest on a charge of felony trafficking, although he had not yet been taken into custody, according to TBI spokeswoman Susan Niland.

According to the Lifehouse Church website, Parakh is originally from Chattanooga and is a longtime friend of Lead Pastor Jeremy Songer. The website says Parakh is gifted in music, media and technology.

A call to Lifehouse Church on Friday went unanswered.

The human trafficking charge is normally a Class B felony, however, authorities said they will seek to enhance it to a Class A felony because the sting operation took place within 1,000 feet of a church. Authorities did not identify the nearby church.

A Class B felony normally is punishable by a prison sentence of eight to 30 years and a $25,000 fine; a Class A felony is normally punishable by a prison sentence of 15 to 60 years and a $50,000 fine.

The Knoxville anti-trafficking operation was the fifth sting of its kind across the state in a crackdown on human trafficking by TBI and its partnering agencies, deemed “Operation Someone Like Me.”

“This is not just a Knoxville problem — this is a statewide problem,” said TBI Director Mark Gwyn.

Previous stings were conducted in Brentwood, Clarksville, Jackson and Chattanooga, resulting in 98 arrests and citations since May 2015.

Ads posted by undercover agents on ********.com during the Knoxville sting garnered more than 300 contacts, according to the TBI.

In one of the ads, agents posed as a juvenile girl. That ad received more than two-dozen responses.

More details as they develop online and in Saturday’s News Sentinel.

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, Affairs, alcoholic, castimonia, Character Defects, christian, co-dependency, Emotions, escorts, father wound, gratification, healing, Intimacy, Jesus Christ, lust, masturbation, porn, pornography, pornstars, prostitute, prostitutes, ptsd, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addiction, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, spouses, STD, strippers, trauma

June 2, 2016 By Castimonia

Unable to Allow Themselves to Love

Usually adult males who are unable to make emotional connections with the women they choose to be intimate with are frozen in time, unable to allow themselves to love for fear that the loved one will abandon them. If the first woman they passionately loved, the mother, was not true to her bond of love, then how can they trust that their partner will be true to love. Often in their adult relationships these men act out again and again to test their partner’s love. While the rejected adolescent boy imagines that he can no longer receive his mother’s love because he is not worthy, as a grown man he may act out in ways that are unworthy and yet demand of the woman in his life that she offer him unconditional love. This testing does not heal the wound of the past, it merely reenacts it, for ultimately the woman will become weary of being tested and end the relationship, thus reenacting the abandonment. This drama confirms for many men that they cannot put their trust in love. They decide that it is better to put their faith in being powerful, in being dominant. Bell Hooks

Sometimes we have to
behave indifferent towards
people who proclaim
their love for us,
just to see if they
are really different.
Michael Bassey Johnson

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, Affairs, castimonia, christian, codependency, codependent, Emotions, escorts, father wound, gratification, healing, Intimacy, Jesus Christ, lust, masturbation, porn, pornography, pornstars, prostitutes, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual purity, spouses, trauma

May 31, 2016 By Castimonia

ANTHEM: Strategies for Fighting Lust

Originally posted at: http://www.desiringgod.org/articles/anthem-strategies-for-fighting-lust

November 5, 2001
by John Piper

I have in mind men and women. For men it’s obvious. The need for warfare against the bombardment of visual temptation to fixate on sexual images is urgent. For women it is less obvious, but just as great if we broaden the scope of temptation to food or figure or relational fantasies. When I say “lust” I mean the realm of thought, imagination, and desire that leads to sexual misconduct. So here is one set of strategies in the war against wrong desires. I put it in the form of an acronym, A N T H E M.

A – AVOID as much as is possible and reasonable the sights and situations that arouse unfitting desire. I say “possible and reasonable” because some exposure to temptation is inevitable. And I say “unfitting desire” because not all desires for sex, food, and family are bad. We know when they are unfitting and unhelpful and on their way to becoming enslaving. We know our weaknesses and what triggers them. “Avoiding” is a Biblical strategy. “Flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness” (2 Timothy 2:22). “Make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires” (Romans 13:14).

N – Say NO to every lustful thought within five seconds. And say it with the authority of Jesus Christ. “In the name of Jesus, NO!” You don’t have much more than five seconds. Give it more unopposed time than that, and it will lodge itself with such force as to be almost immovable. Say it out loud if you dare. Be tough and warlike. As John Owen said, “Be killing sin or it will be killing you.” Strike fast and strike hard. “Resist the devil, and he will flee from you” ( James 4:7).

T – TURN the mind forcefully toward Christ as a superior satisfaction. Saying “no” will not suffice. You must move from defense to offense. Fight fire with fire. Attack the promises of sin with the promises of Christ. The Bible calls lusts “deceitful desires” (Ephesians 4:22). They lie. They promise more than they can deliver. The Bible calls them “passions of your former ignorance” (1 Peter 1:14). Only fools yield. “All at once he follows her, as an ox goes to the slaughter” (Proverbs 7:22). Deceit is defeated by truth. Ignorance is defeated by knowledge. It must be glorious truth and beautiful knowledge. This is why I wrote Seeing and Savoring Jesus Christ. We must stock our minds with the superior promises and pleasures of Jesus. Then we must turn to them immediately after saying, “NO!”

H – HOLD the promise and the pleasure of Christ firmly in your mind until it pushes the other images out. “Fix your eyes on Jesus” (Hebrews 3:1). Here is where many fail. They give in too soon. They say, “I tried to push it out, and it didn’t work.” I ask, “How long did you try?” How hard did you exert your mind? The mind is a muscle. You can flex it with vehemence. Take the kingdom violently (Matthew 11:12). Be brutal. Hold the promise of Christ before your eyes. Hold it. Hold it! Don’t let it go! Keep holding it! How long? As long as it takes. Fight! For Christ’s sake, fight till you win! If an electric garage door were about to crush your child you would hold it up with all our might and holler for help, and hold it and hold it and hold it and hold it.

E – ENJOY a superior satisfaction. Cultivate the capacities for pleasure in Christ. One reason lust reigns in so many is that Christ has so little appeal. We default to deceit because we have little delight in Christ. Don’t say, “That’s just not me.” What steps have you taken to waken affection for Jesus? Have you fought for joy? Don’t be fatalistic. You were created to treasure Christ with all your heart – more than you treasure sex or sugar. If you have little taste for Jesus, competing pleasures will triumph. Plead with God for the satisfaction you don’t have: “Satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love, that we may rejoice and be glad all our days” (Psalm 90:14). Then look, look, look at the most magnificent Person in the universe until you see him the way he is.

M – MOVE into a useful activity away from idleness and other vulnerable behaviors. Lust grows fast in the garden of leisure. Find a good work to do, and do it with all your might. “Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord” (Romans 12:11). “Be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord” (1 Corinthians 15:58). Abound in work. Get up and do something. Sweep a room. Hammer a nail. Write a letter. Fix a faucet. And do it for Jesus’ sake. You were made to manage and create. Christ died to make you “zealous for good deeds” (Titus 2:14). Displace deceitful lusts with a passion for good deeds.

Fighting at your side,

Pastor John

Filed Under: Friday Noon Telemeeting, Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, affair, Affairs, alcohol, anonymous sex partners, call girls, castimonia, christian, Emotions, escorts, father wound, gratification, healing, Intimacy, Jesus Christ, lust, masturbation, meeting, porn, pornography, pornstars, prostitutes, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sex partners, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity

May 29, 2016 By Castimonia

Hollywood’s Secret Rape Culture

Originally posted at: http://www.capstewart.com/2014/05/hollywoods-secret-rape-culture.html
Tuesday, May 20, 2014
by Cap Stewart
Several years ago, Kate Beckinsale was conned into signing a movie contract that required nudity—something she didn’t want to do. With her acting career in jeopardy, she found herself browbeaten by the director. “I was really disturbed and I was sobbing and begging,” she said. At long last, she gave in to intimidation and performed the nude scene, which made her feel “violated and horrible.” Afterwards, she secretly urinated in the director’s thermos in revenge.
In more recent history, one actress from the HBO show Game of Thrones mustered up the courage to refuse doing any more nude scenes. She is reported as saying that she wants to be known for her acting, not for her body parts. (It’s a sorry state of affairs that requires such a statement to be made in the first place.) When the show started, she didn’t have nearly enough clout to buck the system. A season of the show’s overwhelming popularity may have been what put her in a better position to bargain with the producers.Would you believe me if I told you that stories like these are numerous? Sadly, it’s true. The amount of pressure and intimidation Hollywood places on actors—especially women—to undress for the camera is commonplace. It’s well known in the entertainment industry that if you want to make it as an actor, you won’t be taken seriously if you have qualms about taking your clothes off.What finally opened my eyes to this culture of sexual abuse was Wayne A. Wilson’s book Worldly Amusements. In one chapter, he gives seven examples from media interviews of female actors who express reservations about getting naked, or at least make some reference to the pressure placed upon women to undress for the camera.Wilson himself became aware of the issue after watching a movie in which the director had his own daughter perform sex acts on screen. The fact that a director would sacrifice his child’s dignity for the sake of a movie changed Wilson’s perspective. He now implements what he calls the “law of love” in his movie watching habits: he refuses to support films that sexually objectify or degrade actors. He now asks himself, “Would I approve if my sister [or wife or daughter] were asked to behave or expose herself in any way that undermined her purity?” (p. 112).

That is a question we would do well to ask ourselves. It’s a question that comes to the mind of Melissa Ortega, an acquaintance of mine with ties to the entertainment industry. She recently shared her experiences in a Facebook discussion:

I know how many of the women in these scenes (and probably men too, you just don’t hear from them) have talked about throwing up in the bathroom between scenes, crying, stressing out constantly, etc. So basically, I’m paying for that person to do that for me?    . . . . There are perhaps no handcuffs involved with these performers, but social constraints/expectations/demands/culture can be equally, if not more, powerful. And that’s the problem. I’ve lived in Hollywood. I’ve worked with prostitutes one on one. The line between the two worlds is thin. I know no other culture more willing to use people and throw them away.

The movers and shakers in Hollywood have acquired what seems to be an almost limitless amount of power to enforce the sexualization of actors. To cite another example: director Neil Marshall once commented on how he was pressured by an HBO executive to put more sex and nudity in an episode of Game of Thrones:

It was pretty surreal. I’d not done anything like that in my films before. But the weirdest part was when you have one of the exec producers leaning over your shoulder, going, “You can go full frontal, you know. This is television, you can do whatever you want! And do it! I urge you to do it.” So I was like, “Okay, well, if you—you’re the boss.”

A little later, he added:

This particular exec took me to one side and said, “Look, I represent the pervert side of the audience, okay? Everybody else is the serious drama side—I represent the perv side of the audience, and I’m saying I want full frontal nudity in this scene. So you go ahead and do it.”

Notice the implicit acknowledgement that the nudity had nothing to do with art—that it was designed solely for the satisfaction of a perverted audience base. The producer pushed his weight around, and the director (and everyone else) acquiesced. All of this to appeal to the lowest common denominator.

What gives entertainment executives the authority to force others into such compromising situations? What gives a producer the power to manipulate a director into catering to perverse fantasies? What gives a director the right to deceive an actress into agreeing to do more than she meant to? If your computer screen was a mirror, you would be looking at the answer.

You see, when average folks like you and me support films and TV shows like these, we are perpetuating the sexualized culture we say we deplore. My guess is that, because it’s often hard to see how “A” eventually leads to “X,” we think little of doing “A,” even if we abhor “X.” We may complain about the objectification of women (and men) in our culture. We may complain about how movies are ruined by sex scenes and gratuitous nudity. But if we then turn around and financially support that culture, something is askew.

As I’ve pointed out before, it doesn’t matter if you avert your eyes during sex scenes. At the end of the day, Hollywood counts ticket sales. Both prudes and perverts give equal support for a film when they buy a ticket (or a DVD). The truth is, if people stopped financially supporting the abuse of actors, the industry would change. But producers follow the money, and there’s money to be made through the objectification of entertainers.

Tinseltown is harming the consciences of actors, wreaking emotional and spiritual havoc on them—all so we can enjoy a couple hours of amusement. Hollywood has created its own (incredibly profitable) version of sex slavery, degrading actors as human beings.

And we’re funding the process with our own wallets.

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, Affairs, castimonia, christian, escorts, gratification, healing, Hollywood, human trafficking, Intimacy, Jesus Christ, lust, masturbation, porn, pornography, pornstars, prostitutes, ptsd, purity, rape, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual purity, spouses, STD, trauma

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This site is intended for individuals who struggle with maintaining sexual purity. This information is posted for individuals at various stages in their recovery, year 1 to year 30+; what applies to some, may not apply others. Spouses are encouraged to read this blog with the caveat that they may not agree with, understand, or know the reason for some items posted. As always, take what you like and leave the rest.

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