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Sexual Purity Support & Recovery Group

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Intimacy

January 1, 2013 By Castimonia

The Devil’s Palm

The Devil’s Palm

Posted on August 30, 2012 by Steven Abeyta
I wish this was the last kiss from the tissue. The devil fiddled, so I meddled. I’m not scrubbing the dishes, I’m unwrapping my fetishes. I’m in the nude; shaking hands with the devil. I’m an obedient slave, digging myself a grave; my hands are the shovel. It’s the only job for hire, shoveling coal into my own fire. There is no goal, only to shovel coal that has become my melting gold. I’m slowly committing suicide while all the angels sigh, just waiting for me to die! I’m taking action with false penetration at a tight grip of masturbation. I’d rather disown my body by skinning my flesh from the bone and watch someone else dress in it and do this evil deed indeed. Instead cold passes through me like a ghost that chills my bones, trying to force me to be its home. I ignore the fact that I can still prevent, instead I over actively hyperventilate while continuing to titillate. My head in seconds splits with spit; shooting out liquid cement all for just a few seconds of a reality shift. I’m far from content. I’ve lost my way. My God-given soul has been compromised by me and the devil. We go hand in hand. I wish it were an accident, I have much guilt and regret; I wish to forget. It wasn’t a wet dream that uncomfortably seemed. It was the Devil’s handbook, “The Plain Palm Plan.” I’ve got a mess stained with wrists strained. I try to detach while I distract. I hurry and allow the other part of me to take it, but he fakes it while using the same quick hand; in a magician’s clever trick, not to bind but blind. The illusion of smoke and mirrors fails to cover my trail. I’m afraid I can’t just wipe away this issue. They’ll be many more kisses from the tissue.

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, affair, Affairs, anonymous sex partners, call girls, castimonia, christian, escorts, gratification, healing, human trafficking, Intimacy, lust, masturbation, meeting, porn, porn star, pornography, pornstar, pornstars, prostitute, prostitutes, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sex partners, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, STD, strippers, trauma

December 31, 2012 By Castimonia

Castimonia Saturday Morning Meeting Topic – 12/29/2012 – Jesus Calling

jesuscallingbookIn this morning’s Castimonia meeting I read the daily devotional “Jesus Calling” by Sarah Young.

TRUST ME with every fiber of your being!  What I can accomplish in and through you is proportional to how much you depend on Me.  One aspect of this is the degree to which you trust Me in a crisis or major decision.  Some people fail miserably here, while others are at their best in tough times.  Another aspect is even more telling: the constancy of your trust in Me.  People who rely on Me in the midst of adversity may forget about Me when life is flowing smoothly.  Difficult times can jolt you into awareness of your need for Me, whereas smooth sailing can lull you into the stupor of self-sufficiency.

I care as much about your tiny trust-steps through daily life as about your dramatic leaps of faith.  You may think that no one notices, but the One who is always beside you sees everything – and rejoices.  Consistently trusting in Me is vital to flourishing in My Presence.

Psalm 40:4 – Blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, who does not look to the proud,  to those who turn aside to false gods.

Psalm 56:3-4 – When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. 4 In God, whose word I praise — in God I trust and am not afraid.  What can mere mortals do to me?

Psalm 62:8 – Trust in him at all times, you people;  pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.

Isaiah 26:3-4 – You will keep in perfect peace  those whose minds are steadfast,  because they trust in you. 4 Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord himself, is the Rock eternal.

Filed Under: Meeting Topics, Saturday Morning Meeting Topics Tagged With: addiction, Affairs, anonymous sex partners, call girls, castimonia, Christ, christian, escorts, gratification, healing, human trafficking, Intimacy, Jesus, Jesus Calling, Jesus Christ, lust, masturbation, porn, pornstar, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sex partners, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, strippers, trust

December 28, 2012 By Castimonia

Video – Serey’s Story – Abolition International

It is important for those of us who are recovering sex addicts that acted out with prostitutes that all of them prostitute by force, not by choice.  This is Serey’s story on how she was sex trafficked in Camboida – bought and sold over and over again, like a piece of meat.  However, thanks to Abolition International, she has been given a second chance.  I am a believer that everyone deserves a second chance.  I would not be leading this ministry had I not been given a second chance…

Serey’s (pronounced ‘sir-ray’) story is based on a true account from the Transitions’ Dream Home in Cambodia. The Dream Home is an established safe home in Cambodia for young girls rescued from sex trafficking. It isn’t just a safe place for girls rescued from trafficking, it’s a home where they can learn to dream again.

You can help give freedom to more girls like Serey. Support the Dream Home expansion and give more girls the chance to dream again.  abolitioninternational.org/cambodia

Share hope – share this film with your friends and family Wear hope – buy the To Be Free bracelet as a reminder of stories you’ve heard Ignite hope  – host an event and share these stories with your community tobefreestories.com/support.html

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts, Videos Tagged With: addiction, affair, Affairs, anonymous sex partners, call girls, castimonia, christian, escorts, gratification, healing, human trafficking, Intimacy, lust, masturbation, meeting, porn, porn star, pornography, pornstar, pornstars, prostitute, prostitutes, ptsd, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sex partners, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, spouses, STD, strippers, trafficking, trauma

December 26, 2012 By Castimonia

Castimonia Saturday Morning Meeting Topic 12/22/12 – Men of the Bible – Solomon

Solomon [Sŏl’omon]—peace or peaceable. The tenth son of David, and second by Bath-sheba, and the third king of Israel who reigned for forty years (2 Sam. 5:14; 12:24). Solomon was also known as Jedidiah meaning, “beloved of the Lord.”

The Man Who Was Full Yet Failed

We know little of the early life of Solomon. The name given him by Nathan, but not repeated because of its sacredness, implies David’s restoration to divine favor (2 Sam. 12:25). Loved of the Lord suggests the bestowal of unusual gifts (2 Sam. 12:24, 25). It is also evident that young Solomon was greatly influenced both by his mother and Nathan (1 Kings 1:11, 12).

With reference to the character and reign of Solomon, we cannot but agree with Alexander Whyte that, “The shipwreck of Solomon is surely the most terrible tragedy in all the world. For if ever there was a shining type of Christ in the Old Testament church, it was Solomon … but everyday sensuality made him in the end a castaway.” Taking him all in all, Solomon stands out as a disappointing figure of Hebrew history. Think of the advantages he began with! There were the almost undisputed possession of David’s throne, immense stores of wealth laid up by his father, exceptional divinely imparted mental abilities, the love and high hopes of the people. Solomon’s start like the cloudless dawn of a summer’s morning, might have been beautiful all his life through, but it ended in gloom because he wandered into God-forbidden paths. Thus a life beginning magnificently ended miserably. The man who penned and preached a thousand wise things failed to practice the wisdom he taught.

The work of Solomon was the development of his father’s ideas of a consolidated kingdom, and what marvelous success crowned his efforts. Exercising the power of an oriental despot, he gave Israel a glory, prestige and splendor unsurpassed in the world’s history. On the whole, however, Solomon seemed to rule for his own aggrandizement and not for the welfare of the people. Doubtless Solomon’s artistic and literary gifts provided the masses with beneficial instruction, but the glory of Solomon brought the common people tears and groans. The great wealth provided by David for the building of a Temple speedily disappeared under Solomon’s lavish spending, and the people had to pay heavily by taxation and poverty for his magnificent whims. Yet Jesus said that the lilies of the field had greater glory than all the gaudy pomp and pride of Solomon.

Solomon’s ambition in the morning of his life was most commendable. His dream was a natural expression of this ambition, and his God-imparted wisdom an evidence of it (1 Kings 3). Then his sacrifice at Gibeon indicates that Solomon desired religion to be associated with all external magnificence. Solomon’s remarkable prayer also breathes the atmosphere of true piety and of his delight in the full recognition of God. Alas, however, Solomon came to the end of his days minus popularity and piety!

This first great naturalist the world ever saw, who wrote one thousand and five songs, three thousand proverbs and who had sagacity beyond compare, took his first step downward when he went to Egypt for his queen. A daughter of Pharaoh, sitting on the throne of David, must have shocked and saddened the godly elect of Israel. With this strange wife came her strange gods.

Then came the harem of outlandish women who caused Solomon to sin (Neh. 13:26). His wives—seven hundred of them and three hundred concubines—whom Solomon clave unto in love, turned him into an idolater (1 Kings 11:1-8). Polygamy on such a vast scale and concession for his wives to worship their own heathen gods was bad enough, but to share in such sacrilegious worship in sight of the Temple Solomon himself had built, was nauseating to God.

Thus sensuality and pride of wealth brought about Solomon’s deterioration. In the Book of Ecclesiastes which the king wrote, he surely depicted his own dissatisfaction with even life itself. All rivers ran into Solomon’s sea: wisdom and knowledge, wine and women, wealth and fame, music and songs; he tried them all, but all was vanity and vexation of spirit simply because God had been left out.

Of Solomon’s actual end little is known. He is described as an “old man” at sixty years of age. Whether Solomon repented and returned to God was a question warmly debated by the Early Fathers. There is no record of his repentance. He never wrote a penitential psalm like his father before him (Ps. 51). We have his remorse, discontent, disgust, self-contempt, “bitterer to drink than blood,” but no sobs for his sin, no plea for pardon. Thus, with such a tragic failure before us, let us take to heart the fact that Solomon’s wisdom did not teach him self-control, and that the only legacy of his violated home life was a son “ample in foolishness and lacking in understanding,” as C. W. Emmet expresses it.

Filed Under: Meeting Topics, Saturday Morning Meeting Topics, Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, affair, Affairs, anonymous sex partners, call girls, castimonia, Character Defects, christian, Emotions, escorts, father wound, gratification, healing, human trafficking, Intimacy, Jesus Christ, lust, porn, porn star, pornography, pornstar, pornstars, prostitute, prostitutes, ptsd, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sex partners, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, spouses, STD, strippers, trauma

December 22, 2012 By Castimonia

Video – Amanda’s Story – Abolition International

It is important for those of us who are recovering sex addicts that acted out with prostitutes that all of them prostitute by force, not by choice.  This is Amanda’s story on how she was drugged, raped, and sex trafficked out of her own bedroom.

Amanda’s story is based on a true account from Abolition International’s partner restoration home, Wellspring Living, in Atlanta, GA. Through Wellspring Living, Amanda experienced the power of true restoration through the program’s holistic aftercare model.

Abolition International’s To Be Free campaign will help expand Wellspring’s current program by renovating a new home that will house 11 new girls rescued from sex trafficking as well as expanding restorative care projects in Moldova, Cambodia, and Ohio. Be a part of expanding hope and join the movement today:

Share Hope – Share Amanda’s Story with your friends.

Wear Hope – Commit to $5 a month and receive the Three-Strand Bracelet as a token of your commitment to freedom.

Ignite Hope – Host a To Be Free event and ignite hope in your community. E-mail us to find out how you can bring To Be Free stories to your business, school, church, or organization.

tobefreestories.com

abolitioninternational.org

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts, Videos Tagged With: addiction, affair, Affairs, anonymous sex partners, call girls, castimonia, christian, escorts, gratification, healing, human trafficking, Intimacy, lust, masturbation, porn, porn star, pornography, pornstar, pornstars, prostitute, prostitutes, ptsd, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sex partners, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, STD, strippers, trafficking, trauma

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This site is intended for individuals who struggle with maintaining sexual purity. This information is posted for individuals at various stages in their recovery, year 1 to year 30+; what applies to some, may not apply others. Spouses are encouraged to read this blog with the caveat that they may not agree with, understand, or know the reason for some items posted. As always, take what you like and leave the rest.

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