Sexual Purity Support & Recovery Group
Dr. Mark Laaser of Faithful and True Ministries shares his story as the first podcast of 2017.
He also shares practical advice from his practice about recovery practices. He emphasizes that men recover best in community and dealing appropriately with shame.
Check out his resources as faithfulandtrue.com to see how to get his books and other resources.
Email us at puritypodcast@castimonia.org for more information.
… is part of Step One
We made a decision to turn our lives and our wills over to the care of God, as we understood God. – Step Three
“Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:6-7)
I finished Step Two! I am officially insane. Yay, me! Great way to start a new week. That realization sucks. Really a lot. I have spent a lot of time thinking over my past decisions. How I ended up here. I came up with one very obvious learning from this self-reflection: I make TERRIBLE decisions. Obvious, right? Obviously not. I didn’t think so. Quite the opposite, I used to brag on my spiritual gift of discernment. Wow. Insanity is absolutely right.
So on to Step Three. I think I have done this. I know that God makes better decisions than I do, so why not turn over decision making authority to him? Give him power of attorney for my life. That seems easy enough. I am sure my sponsor will see that as well and it’s off to Step Four. I should be healed in 3 to 4 months at this rate. Cool!
OK, well he didn’t agree. Figures. He wants me to look at where my heart was in my acting out. What was the state of my heart during that time? OK, let’s review. First, my heart was selfish. I only wanted to fulfill my own needs despite the consequences to others. I spent our personal savings on acting out. I told my wife I wanted to leave her via a text message. I missed key points in my kids’ lives, time I will never get back nor will they. Just to fulfill my own acting out desires.
The state of my heart? Dirty. That’s all I think of when I think of the state of my heart at that time. Dirty. Filthy with selfishness, self-righteousness. My heart was my own. Not God’s. I wasn’t surrendered despite professing to be a faithful believer in Christ. The state of my heart was that I didn’t trust God with my life, only my salvation.
My counselor put it to me this way very early in my recovery. I was trying to understand why I wasn’t healed. I didn’t get why I couldn’t just ask God to fix me and that would be that. So he dumbed it down for me, which I obviously needed. This is how he said it. He asked me what fundamentally changed when I asked Christ into my heart, believed in Him. I wasn’t sure. He pointed out that one thing happened, just one thing. Death was no longer on the table. I was free from eternal separation from God.
Yes, exactly. I agree. That’s what happens. Then he stated…that’s it. That’s what happens when you accept Christ. Your character defects don’t go away, you don’t all of a sudden exit a fallen world. You don’t transform into a new creation with a new body and no flaws. You are still human and still sinful. To change those character defects, you have to be obedient in following a path to sanctification.
That is what I missed. I never saw it. Or I saw it and I didn’t want to hear it or believe it. I need to turn over my life and my WILL to God. That means how I daily live my life, moment to moment. The 12 steps are a path of sanctification for me. One that God has provided to me even though I didn’t want to see it. OK, I see it. God, I turn over my life and my will. ALL my life. So on to the defects and identifying them.
Sexual impurity/addiction is an intimacy disorder.
Originally posted at: https://applyingmybeliefs.wordpress.com/2014/12/24/dynamics-of-addiction/
by applyingmybeliefs
I’ve been reading a book “Not the Way it is Supposed to Be – A Breviary of Sin” written in 1995 by Cornelius Plantinga, it has been very interesting. Chapter 8 of the book is titled “The Tragedy of Addiction”, and in it the author reviews the broad subject of the connection between sin and addictions.
One of the most important things he says in this chapter for those of us who deal with addicts and addictions is this:
It is all too easy for a therapist, a psychiatrist or a social worker to believe the lie taught or implied in psychology textbooks that the addict is controlled by his or her addiction, so that it is “not their fault” and no sin is involved. This is an example of what Paul talks about here:
Rom 1:24-25 – Therefore God gave them up in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, to the dishonoring of their bodies among themselves, because they exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever! Amen. ESV
The truth is that sin is at the root of all addictions, and sometimes we forget that. This truth is why we need God’s help to overcome addictions, and also why spiritual programs of recovery are more effective than secular programs.
In the geographical area I live in, Katy Texas, all of the successful secular recovery programs that I know about have a spiritual component. Yes, they might use the term “higher power”, but that is their attempt to connect to God without calling Him God. And God in His mercy still comes through for them!
Also in this chapter the author displays a good understanding of what addiction is all about and how it ensnares us. He provides the following list and calls it “The Dynamics of Addiction.”
Those of us in the world of Christian recovery will recognize this as an excellent description of what we see each day. I recommend that we all copy this list, and if we use it, be sure to attribute it to the original author, listed below.
The reference:
Not the Way It’s Supposed to Be – By Cornelius Plantinga Jr. (1995) Erdman’s Publishing. ISBN 978-0-8028-4218-3
This site is intended for individuals who struggle with maintaining sexual purity. This information is posted for individuals at various stages in their recovery, year 1 to year 30+; what applies to some, may not apply others. Spouses are encouraged to read this blog with the caveat that they may not agree with, understand, or know the reason for some items posted. As always, take what you like and leave the rest.
