That’s why we need to work a proper Step 4!
Affairs
What To Do When Jesus Is Watching Porn With You
Originally posted at: http://prevailingwordministries.wordpress.com/2014/12/03/what-to-do-when-jesus-is-watching-porn-with-you/
by prevailing word ministries
There are many professed believers that watch porn. Few would be willing enough to confess that Jesus is there, watching porn with them.
To them, as it was with me, we’ve completely ignore the fact that the Lord Jesus is watching what we were watching. Some consider this to be a joke but when you look at several verses of Scripture, we see that the Lord is there with us, watching what we are watching.
Therefore, it is not a joke.
We who claim to be in Christ and Christ is in us, know for a fact that the Lord is present.
Every time I watched porn and masturbated, the Lord was right there. You can know that He was disgusted with the performance of sexual sin in my life.
In fact, at one point, He was so angry, that while I was watching porn and masturbating a few years ago, He said to me, “You could be watching your own daughter.”
Sadly, that didn’t shake me up to stop. I suppressed the truth in unrighteousness. But what He said to me stayed with me until December, 2008.
After receiving a much needed miracle, I went back to old habits.
While watching porn and masturbating, the Lord said to me, “Is this what you do to Me after all the good I’ve done for you?”
That’s when I knew it had to end or else.
At that moment, the fear or being very afraid of loosing it all became very apparent.
If I refused and rebelled, I would be devoured.
The fear of God taking away that much needed miracle, let alone, the fact that dying in sin would place me in a position of jeopardizing my salvation. It’s a scary thing to die in sin. The Bible tells us that “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.” and “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge.”
Many have taught the fear of the Lord with one definition in mind.
“Reverential fear.”
But in the definition, many have left out this definition. “The dread…”
We have forgotten how to be very afraid of the God of heaven and earth. So much so that sin becomes easy to commit because we are not afraid of God. We have convoluted our minds and erected another kind of god that we want who would look the other way when we sin. Gives us permission to sin based on the warped reasons behind what we do.
We say things like…….“God, you understand me. You know my heart.”
Yes, God knows that our “…heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked.” Jeremiah 17:9
We say things like…… “God, you know I can’t do without extra curricular releasing sexual tension.”
Yes, God knows that “Marriage is honorable among all and the bed undefiled (no human waste) but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.”
This is how the devil gets us.
We watch certain TV shows that lead us from minor lewd stuff, to salacious shows that trigger lust in our flesh, to soft and then hard core porn.
Some of the shows that are being watched today is just a door to porn. As soon as the show on the national network goes to a hot sexy steaming episode and then fade to black, you know that this isn’t enough.
You take it to the next level.
PPV porn.
Internet porn.
Or even worse. You search for a prostitute, or you are involved with an immoral woman in adultery. If you are single, you are probably fornicating or having illegal sex outside of marriage.
There is no question in my mind that you know that the Lord is watching.
But here are a few Scriptures to remind you.
2 Chronicles 16:9 “For the eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to show Himself strong on behalf of those whose heart is loyal to Him.”
Ezekiel 8:12 “Then He said to me, “Son of man, have you seen what the elders of the house of Israel do in the dark, every man in the room of his idols? For they say, ‘The Lord does not see us, the Lord has forsaken the land.’”
Psalm 139:7-12 “Where can I go from Your Spirit?
Or where can I flee from Your presence?
If I ascend into heaven, You are there;
If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there.
If I take the wings of the morning,
And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
Even there Your hand shall lead me,
And Your right hand shall hold me.
If I say, “Surely the darkness shall fall on me,”
Even the night shall be light about me;
Indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You,
But the night shines as the day;
The darkness and the light are both alike to You.”
It is true that these Scriptures will not deter a man or woman bent on watching porn.
Sickness and disease will not deter an immoral man or woman from sexual immorality.
Getting caught is not of concern for the sexually immoral people because what is more important is achieving the goal of covetousness, which is idolatry (see Colossians 3:5). The goal of covetousness is to “get off.”
That’s why immoral men and women “suppress the truth in unrighteousness…”
Sexually immoral men and women suppress the truth in unrighteousness because they want to continue in sin, thus, remaining in their bondage.
Yes, and Jesus is there. Watching it all. It’s all being recorded in a book. Every sinful thought, every sinful word, and every evil deed. Everything is being recorded, only to be revealed later in the day of judgment. To be used against you when you stand before the Lord on the day of judgment.
Romans 14:5-10-12 “For we shall all stand before the judgment seat of Christ. For it is written: “As I live, says the Lord, Every knee shall bow to Me, and every tongue shall confess to God.” So then each of us shall give account of himself to God.”
This judgment is for believers, not for sinners.
2 Corinthians 5:10-11 “For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may receive the things done in the body, according to what he has done, whether good or bad. Knowing, therefore, the terror of the Lord, we persuade men; but we are well known to God, and I also trust are well known in your consciences.”
As a believer, you and I have no business watching porn.
But just in case you believe that Jesus isn’t watching, you do not have to look over your shoulder. God knows how to be present and walk away from you at the same time.
For believers, we all have a chance to repent and get it right before we are judged.
This is where taking communion is potentially lethal.
1 Corinthians 11:27-32 “Therefore whoever eats this bread or drinks this cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty of the body and blood of the Lord. But let a man examine himself, and so let him eat of the bread and drink of the cup. For he who eats and drinks in an unworthy manner eats and drinks judgment to himself, not discerning the Lord’s body.
For this reason many are weak and sick among you, and many sleep.
For if we would judge ourselves, we would not be judged. But when we are judged, we are chastened by the Lord, that we may not be condemned with the world.”
Verse 30 of The Amplified Bible says this….“That [careless and unworthy participation] is the reason many of you are weak and sickly, and quite enough of you have fallen into the sleep of death.”
So what will it take for you to stop sinning?
What will it take for you to know that the Lord is watching everything that we do and recording it. To be used against us on the day of judgment for believers.
For sinners, it’s worse.
From the Amplified Bible again….Revelation 21:8.
“But as for the cowards and the ignoble and the contemptible and the cravenly lacking in courage and the cowardly submissive, and as for the unbelieving and faithless, and as for the depraved and defiled with abominations, and as for murderers and the lewd and adulterous and the practicers of magic arts and the idolaters (those who give supreme devotion to anyone or anything other than God) and all liars (those who knowingly convey untruth by word or deed) — [all of these shall have] their part in the lake that blazes with fire and brimstone. This is the second death…”
So what do you do when Jesus is watching porn with you?
You already know the answer but many of you will not follow through.
Many of you will continue to profess to love the Lord but you love porn more.
Many of you will cry in hopelessness, get through that moment of relapse and cry tears in remorse.
Many of you will get over that moment of remorse and make provision to fulfill the lust in your heart, mind, and body, all over again.
I’ve been there.
Wondering if I would ever break free of porn and masturbation. Wondering if the Lord loved me. Wondering if God would forgive me.
Wondering if after all the frustration and disappointments in myself, that I would ever be worthy of His grace.
The ball is in your court.
What you do next will determine whether you remain in the house of bondage, or walk out of the open prison door.
Boundaries: The Two Types of Liars
Colossians 3:9–10 – “Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator.”
The ability to build a healthy relationship is based on the degree to which you are able to be clear and honest about everything, especially in a dating situation. Sometimes, people will deceive each other about the nature of other people in their lives. They may act like someone is “just a friend,” when in reality there is more of a history or more in the present than is being said.
For example, I (Dr. Cloud) was working with a man named Frank who was trying to figure out his relationship with the woman he was dating. He had a funny feeling that something was wrong. It seemed that she was just a little too connected to her work. Frank had no problem with her loving her job, but there was something strange about her relationship with her boss. He did not think that she was dating him, or having any kind of illicit thing going on with him. But, he still got a funny feeling about her work and her connection with her boss.
Finally, Frank found out that his girlfriend had once been engaged to her boss. And, there was still some sort of continuing tie between them. But, as far as he had known, it was strictly a work relationship. Instead, she had been lying to him.
Frank felt horribly deceived, and from there the relationship went downhill. It did not falter because she worked with a former boyfriend, but because she had not been clear about the nature of her former relationship with her boss. Frank could sense some sort of tie that she was not owning up to. Later, when some other issues came up where she had not been clear with him, the relationship died. If she had not been deceptive about the former boyfriend, the later issues would not have been a big deal. But, once a pattern of lying starts, trust is difficult to reestablish.
Why do people lie, and how can you set appropriate boundaries? In our opinion, there are really two categories of liars.
First, there are liars who lie out of shame, guilt, fear of conflict or loss of love, and other fears. They are the ones who lie when it would be a lot easier to tell the truth. They want to be honest, but for one reason or another, cannot quite pull it off. They fear the other person’s anger or loss of love. (most addicts fit into this category)
Second, there are liars who lie as a way of operating and deceive others for their own selfish ends. There is no fear or defensiveness involved, just plain old lying for love of self.
You will have to ask yourself if you want to take the risk and do the work if you are with the first type. There are people in the first category who have never had a relationship where they felt safe enough to be honest, and they tend to still be hiding. So, they lie to preserve love, or preserve the relationship, or avoid being caught in something because of guilt or shame. They are not really dangerous, evil characters, and sometimes when they find someone safe, they learn to tell the truth. This is a risk that some people want to take after finding out that deception has occurred. They hope that the person will be redeemed by the grace and love that they offer and will shoot straight with them from then on.
While we would not automatically recommend continuing a dating relationship with this kind of person, sometimes there is a good outcome. So, we do not want to make a rigid rule. But, our feeling is that dating is not a place for you to rehabilitate people. Rehabilitation should occur in that person’s counseling, recovery, discipleship, or some other context. For one thing, dating can become serious when your heart gets involved, and it may even lead to marriage. Just because the person is lying out of fear does not make it acceptable, and serious devastation can occur even with fearful liars. No matter what the reason, lying destroys. By and large, the best policy is to stay away from those who lie for any reason.
Spend your time and heart on honest people. It is often too risky, from our perspective, to get involved with the fearful liar. If the person gets better and comes back repentant, that is one thing. But, you should not think that you are going to be the one who changes him or her if defensive lying is an ongoing pattern. There are some people who do this on occasion and confess it, and probably can be trusted over the long haul. But, patterns of this type are problematic. Whatever you decide to do, whether you stick in there or not, make sure that you do not go further until the lying issue is forever and certainly in the past. Remember the words of the wise instructor: Do not go on to other issues until the lying is solved.
The second kind of liar is a definite no-go. Tell him or her good-bye and save yourself a lot of heartache. Perpetual liars are not ready for a relationship, no matter how much you are attracted to him or her. Run, run, run!
A footnote: After Frank ended the relationship with his girlfriend, she soon was back with her former boyfriend. I told my client I thought he was lucky to have escaped her.
Today’s content is drawn from Boundaries in Dating by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. Copyright 2014 by Zondervan; all rights reserved. Visit BoundariesBooks.com for more information.
Disclosure – VIDEO
By now you probably know I LOVE movies! I grew up watching tons of movies and still do so today. A short while ago the movie, The Goonies was on television and I sat and watched it with my oldest daughter. She really enjoyed the movie. As I have stated before, now that I’m in recovery the Holy Spirit has allowed me to see movies differently and notice subtle (and sometimes blatant) recovery tones within the movie.
The plot of this movie has been pasted below courtesy of Google:
The Goonies is a 1985 American adventure comedy film directed by Richard Donner, who produced with Harvey Bernhard. The screenplay was written by Chris Columbus from a story by executive producer Steven Spielberg. A band of pre-teens who live in the “Goon Docks” neighborhood of Astoria, Oregon, attempt to save their homes from demolition, and, in doing so, discover an old Spanish map that leads them on an adventure to unearth the long-lost fortune of One-Eyed Willy, a legendary 17th-century pirate. During the entire adventure, they are chased by a family of criminals, who also want the treasure for themselves.
What I saw in this movie was a humorous example of someone giving a “clinical disclosure” and then having his life transform because of letting go of all of his secrets. Many men in recovery struggle with the idea of giving a full disclosure and live in fear of doing so. This movie, although not therapy-accurate, brings humor to a very stressful and intense time in a man’s life. Hopefully, men who have done this can see the humor in this movie as much as I do and men who fear doing a disclosure can find the courage to do so after watching this movie.
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Castimonia Purity Podcast Episode 26b: Jorge’s Testimony Followup
Jorge takes us through the second part of his story. He guides us through the steps he needed to find healing as well as long-lasting sobriety.
It is possible to find healing from any addiction, and Jorge discusses some of the key elements that he needed to find help.
For more information on how to get help, or if you know of a great topic/testimony idea, please let us know at puritypodcast@castimonia.org
