CASTIMONIA

Sexual Purity Support & Recovery Group

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He Hears Your Prayer

A great devotional for Step 11!

Derek Redmond, a twenty-six-year-old Briton, was favored to win the four-hundred-meter race in the 1992 Barcelona Olympics. Halfway into his semifinal heat, a fiery pain seared through his right leg. He crumpled to the track with a torn hamstring.

As the medical attendants were approaching, Redmond fought to his feet. “It was animal instinct,” he would later say. He set out hopping, pushing away the coaches in a crazed attempt to finish the race.

When he reached the stretch, a big man pushed through the crowd. He was wearing a T-shirt that read “Have you hugged your child today?” and a hat that challenged, “Just Do It.” The man was Jim Redmond, Derek’s father.

“You don’t have to do this,” he told his weeping son.

“Yes, I do,” Derek declared.

“Well, then,” said Jim, “we’re going to finish this together.”

And they did. Jim wrapped Derek’s arm around his shoulder and helped him hobble to the finish line. Fighting off security men, the son’s head sometimes buried in the father’s shoulder, they stayed in Derek’s lane to the end.

The crowd clapped, then stood, then cheered, and then wept as the father and son finished the race.

What made the father do it? What made the father leave the stands to meet his son on the track? Was it the strength of his child? No, it was the pain of his child. His son was hurt and fighting to complete the race. So the father came to help him finish.

God does the same. Our prayers may be awkward. Our attempts may be feeble. But since the power of prayer is in the one who hears it and not the one who says it, our prayers do make a difference.

Today’s devotional is drawn from Max Lucado’s Next Door Savior.

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Can Faith Really Move Mountains?

Originally posted at: https://altruistico.wordpress.com/2016/10/01/can-faith-really-move-mountains/

by altruistico

  In order to correctly interpret a passage such as Matthew 17:20, we first look at the overall context of the passage. Jesus, along with Peter, James and John, had just come down from the “mount of transfiguration,” and they encounter a man with a demon-possessed child. The man tells Jesus that he brought his son to Jesus’ disciples, but they couldn’t cast the demon out (recall that Jesus earlier, in Matthew 10:1, gave His disciples the authority to cast out evil spirits). Jesus then chastises them for their lack of faith and then casts the demon out of the boy. When His disciples inquire as to why the demon didn’t obey their command, Jesus replies with the statement in Matthew 17:20. Their faith, He says, is small and weak. If it were the size of even the smallest of the seeds, the mustard bush, they would be able to “move mountains.”

The first thing that needs to be considered is the Bible’s use of literary techniques. The Bible is first and foremost God’s revealed Word; we want to be clear on this point (2 Timothy 3:16). While the Bible is God’s revealed Word, it is revealed to us by way of language. God condescended—He lowered Himself—to speak to us in ways in which we would understand. Consider a father trying to communicate with his young child. The father has to condescend in order to be understood by the limited intellect and understanding of the child. This is analogous (though not identical) to the way in which God speaks to us.

The Bible employs many forms, or genres, of literature. There is historical narrative, poetry, prophecy, apocalyptic writing, and epistolary literature (to name a few). Among these various literary genres, several literary techniques are used—metaphor, simile, imagery, parable, allusion, irony, personification, paradox, and hyperbole. As readers of the Bible, we must recognize when these techniques are being used so we can properly interpret the meaning. For example, in John 10:7, Jesus says, “I am the door of the sheep.” How are we to interpret this verse? If we are too literal, we might start looking for a doorknob hidden somewhere on His body. However, if we understand this to be a metaphor, then we can begin to understand His meaning (Jesus is the way of access to eternal life, much like a door is the way of access into a room).

Another thing to consider in biblical interpretation is the context of the passage. More often than not, when we take a single verse out of its native context, we end up misinterpreting the verse. In the context of Matthew 17, Jesus rebukes the disciples for their weak faith and says that even if they had mustard seed-sized faith, they could command the mountain to move. Contextually, the mountain must refer to the demon that was afflicting the man’s son. Jesus tells His disciples that, if their faith was stronger, they could have commanded the demon to leave the boy, and it would be so. This was clearly the case in Matthew 10 when Jesus sent them out to cure diseases, cast out demons, and spread the gospel. Therefore, it is clear from the context that Jesus does not intend to assert that mustard seed-sized faith can literally move mountains. Rather, the expression Jesus uses was a common colloquialism of that day; to a Jew of Jesus’ day, a mountain is a metaphor signifying a seemingly impossible task.

Faith that can move mountains is not meant to imply a faith that can literally move literal mountains. The point Jesus was making is that even a little bit of faith—faith the size of a tiny mustard seed—can overcome mountainous obstacles in our lives.

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I Walk the Line

Originally posted at: https://livingonquicksandblog.wordpress.com/2016/09/01/i-walk-the-line

I am walking a fine line between vigilance and the road to Crazy Town.

Discovering that your spouse has been unfaithful brings a whole lot of hurt down on your head.  Strangely, discovering that he has done this because he has an addiction helps in some ways.  You learn that it wasn’t about you.  You come to understand that powerful forces were driving the behavior. You realize that a long list of anonymous women is somehow less threatening than one “special” someone in whom he might have invested more emotional currency.

In other ways, though, the addiction makes the situation much worse.  For one thing, the probability that he will slip one or more times before achieving total recovery is very high.  And that is assuming that he is even serious about recovery. Rob has said that several of the men in his 12 step group have said they are there because their wives made them come and will divorce them if they don’t attend.  If I were their wives I would want them to be saying things like “I’m here because I want to heal”.  I think real recovery has to be about you and what you want.  But these men are in the group and who am I to question their motives.

For Rob’s part he is saying the right things and taking the right actions.  He has now “come out” to two sets of friends, and three family members.  He is attending his meetings regularly and has suggested a cell phone tracking app so that I know where he is (or at least where his cell phone is – because I am very aware that there is a difference). He is journaling on a semi-regular basis and is considering re-writing his 12 steps to make them more meaningful to him.  In short, he appears to be doing the work.

The problem with a sex addiction is that it is, by nature, a secretive and furtive disease. The only way to know if recovery is happening is to look for subtle clues and behaviour changes.  Addicts are master manipulators though, and in Rob’s case he has been fooling people for 40+ years.  How do I know all of these actions are not part of a snow-job to lull me back into a false sense of security?

And this brings me to the point of this post (ah, I bet you thought I would never get there). I don’t think I am any different from any spouse of a recovering sex addict in wondering how closely I should be watching him.

I have always felt privacy is important.  I think it is inherently wrong to go through anyone’s wallets, or text messages or open their mail, track their financial activity or secretly videotape their activities.  I have always believed a wife who does these things is a nutbar. Yet in recent weeks I have gone through Rob’s wallet, checked his text messages and checked the search history on his tablet. I check his location through our Life360 app compulsively through the day, then worry myself sick about why he went to a particular location for 6 minutes. I have even had a free consultation with a very nice young private investigator though I have never followed up with him. I have even caught myself lying in bed wondering where the best location would be to install a hidden camera to see what goes on while I am away. There is scarcely an hour that goes by where I don’t worry that something bad is going to happen unless I stay on top of things.  A friend I have met in a support group refers to this as monitoring. I’m just not sure how much monitoring is desirable to keep me aware and safe, and how much is crazy, compulsive behaviour.

I am fully aware that no amount of “monitoring” will keep Rob from “acting out” (I hate that phrase but I’m going with it any way).  In this age of computers and tablets and cell phones he will always find a way if he wants to re-offend.  I know that he can leave his cell phone at his office and go anywhere he wants and I won’t know.  Or he might have a different cell phone specifically for this sort of activity.  I can get e-mail passwords, but he may well have other accounts of which I am unaware.  There are whole technologies designed to help cheaters avoid getting caught.  I can’t watch it all. Only Rob can keep Rob from acting out.

At the same time I feel I need to have some sort of awareness of what he is doing.  Sad to say, but his word is worth almost nothing at this point.  I have heard too many proclamations of innocence over the years to believe what he says. The only evidence of change is what I can see and I can’t see if I don’t look.

I don’t want to be his mother and check up on him all the time. I don’t want to spend my precious golden years skulking around reading his text messages.  I don’t want to spend my retirement savings on a private detective.  I also don’t want to contract HIV or a venereal disease because I trusted too much or kept my head in the sand. I don’t want to be hurt by another round of betrayal. I am walking a fine line between vigilance and the road to Crazy Town.

And so I waver back and forth.  If I snoop I feel sick because I am becoming the kind of woman I abhor.  If I don’t snoop I feel like I am being a naive fool. If I snoop I am afraid I will find something and have to confront him about it.  If I don’t snoop I feel like I will be taken advantage of. Through it all I am in a state of constant hyper vigilance that is exhausting.

I know that recovery will have occurred when I can honestly say that I can be happy with or without his recovery.  Right now I am struggling with how to get there.

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What does the Holy Spirit do?

by altruistico

The Bible is quite clear that the Holy Spirit is active in our world. The book of Acts, which sometimes goes by the longer title of “The Acts of the Apostles,” could just as accurately be called “The Acts of the Holy Spirit through the Apostles.” After the apostolic age, there have been some changes—the Spirit does not inspire further Scripture, for example—but He continues to do His work in the world.

First, the Holy Spirit does many things in the lives of believers. He is the believers’ Helper (John 14:26). He indwells believers and seals them until the day of redemption—this indicates that the Holy Spirit’s presence in the believer is irreversible. He guards and guarantees the salvation of the ones He indwells (Ephesians 1:13; 4:30). The Holy Spirit assists believers in prayer (Jude 1:20) and “intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God” (Romans 8:26–27).

The Holy Spirit regenerates and renews the believer (Titus 3:5). At the moment of salvation, the Spirit baptizes the believer into the Body of Christ (Romans 6:3). Believers receive the new birth by the power of the Spirit (John 3:5–8). The Spirit comforts believers with fellowship and joy as they go through a hostile world (1 Thessalonians 1:6; 2 Corinthians 13:14). The Spirit, in His mighty power, fills believers with “all joy and peace” as they trust the Lord, causing believers to “overflow with hope” (Romans 15:13).

Sanctification is another work of the Holy Spirit in the life of a believer. The Spirit sets Himself against the desires of the flesh and leads the believer into righteousness (Galatians 5:16–18). The works of the flesh become less evident, and the fruit of the Spirit becomes more evident (Galatians 5:19–26). Believers are commanded to “be filled with the Spirit” (Ephesians 5:18), which means they are to yield themselves to the Spirit’s full control.

The Holy Spirit is also a gift-giver. “There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit distributes them” (1 Corinthians 12:4). The spiritual gifts that believers possess are given by the Holy Spirit as He determines in His wisdom (verse 11)

The Holy Spirit also does work among unbelievers. Jesus promised that He would send the Holy Spirit to “convict the world concerning sin and righteousness and judgment” (John 16:8, ESV). The Spirit testifies of Christ (John 15:26), pointing people to the Lord. Currently, the Holy Spirit is also restraining sin and combatting “the secret power of lawlessness” in the world. This action keeps the rise of the Antichrist at bay (2 Thessalonians 2:6–10).

The Holy Spirit has one other important role, and that is to give believers wisdom by which we can understand God. “The Spirit searches everything, even the depths of God. For who knows a person’s thoughts except the spirit of that person, which is in him? So also no one comprehends the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God” (1 Corinthians 2:10–11). Since we have been given the amazing gift of God’s Spirit inside ourselves, we can comprehend the thoughts of God, as revealed in the Scripture. The Spirit helps us understand. This is wisdom from God, rather than wisdom from man. No amount of human knowledge can ever replace the Holy Spirit’s teaching (1 Corinthians 2:12–13).

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Make Peace

NotUnknown.com

Keith B.

Avoiding conflict seemed like the right way to live life, especially after living most of my life in conflict. My family defined dramatic. I envied my father. He balanced the constant heightened confrontations between my mother and us kids with amazing calm. That was my model. I learned early on to be a peacekeeper from him.

A peacekeeper is defined as “a person who tries to keep things peaceful, often by mediating conflicts or calming people down.” Definitely me most of my life, avoiding conflict at any cost. Why would anyone purposefully seek out conflict? I didn’t understand how they could. Conflict gave me stomach pains.

Last week, a friend of mine led our Sunday School class. He doesn’t normally teach but filled in for our regular teachers. He titled his lesson, “Resolving Conflict in Today’s World.” The scripture reference was from 2 Samuel 21:1-6, 10-14. The conflict itself stemmed from Saul breaking Israel’s agreement with the Gibeonites. In his zeal to unite his kingdom, he broke a treaty with the Gibeonites, putting many of their men to death. Many years later, King David and the Israelites realized the consequences of Saul’s actions. They suffered a three year famine, with no end in sight.

David sought God’s understanding of why the famine happened and what to do about it. He prayed, asking God for understanding as to the source of the famine in Israel. God revealed Saul’s sin to David as the source of the consequence of famine. David went to the Gibeonites, asking what amends he could make for Israel’s sin. They wanted seven of Saul’s descendants killed and their bodies exposed to the elements to atone for the wrongful deaths of hundreds of their ancestors.

David followed through on their request, providing the sacrifice of Saul’s male descendants. He also allowed for them to have an appropriate burial, providing an appropriate resolution and making appropriate amends for Israel’s sins. The Gibeonites request to deny them a proper burial went beyond atonement and into vengeance. David sought and attained peace with God and with the Gibeonites. Only, David didn’t seek peace at any cost. He followed God’s definition of how we are to seek peace…not as peacekeepers but as peacemakers.

In Matthew 5, Jesus instructed his disciples on how to live life as His followers. In this passage, known as the Beatitudes, Jesus described a life counterintuitive to most worldly advice. In verse 9, He states, “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.” Not peacekeepers. Peacemakers.

A peacemaker is defined as “a person who brings about peace, especially by reconciling adversaries.” Reconciling adversaries takes work. My friend’s lesson on David described how to be a peacemaker, a true child of God. He identified ten characteristics of a peacemaker.

  1. Seek God’s peace as the only source of true peace
  2. Exhibit a genuine love for others
  3. Pray and seek God’s understanding
  4. Build trust with others
  5. Identify and address conflict
  6. Want to understand all points of view
  7. Control anger and don’t overreact
  8. Speak the truth with love
  9. Work towards resolution
  10. Don’t succumb to fear

I’ve spent the last week meditating on this lesson, about being a peacekeeper instead of a peacemaker. Especially with my kids. For so many years, I thought keeping the peace with my kids was the best thing I could do for them. My childhood consisted of an atmosphere of peace breaking. I didn’t want that for my family. I pursued peace at the detriment of truth and transparency. I used the pursuit of no conflict as a crutch to avoid the truth. In Ephesians 4, Paul instructs us to not allow anything unwholesome to come out of our mouth, to speak the truth with love as our primary motivator. By avoiding conflict and avoiding the truth, I denied my family the truth of God’s love.

Over the past two years, my life has changed dramatically. Through the often painful intervention of God, I have come to pursue His truth and righteousness. This path demands a different approach in relationships, especially within my family. We don’t always get it right. We have conflict and hurt feelings and difficulties. But we don’t hide the truth. Mainly, I don’t hide the truth. My spouse has always sought to be a truth teller, as have my boys. I am thankful for their patience in bringing me along. Progress not perfection.