CASTIMONIA

Sexual Purity Support & Recovery Group

Recovery Articles

By

Journal Through Recovery Entry 46: Me and God

If you have been reading my posts, you are aware that I am an expert at working each one of the steps. For those of you that haven’t been reading my posts, shame on you and I am practicing sarcasm. I am most definitely not an expert at working the steps. I think I know what to expect and find that I have absolutely no idea what to expect. Also, if you have or haven’t read my stuff, I am convinced that my sponsor is a sadist. Or more likely, he really enjoys watching me squirm. I am sure in a good, productive, healthy way. But he most assuredly finds continual amusement in watching me struggle with my flaws. Honestly, I think he just enjoys watching God help me identify and name and work on them. That I get.

So, here I am. About 300 days into recovery. I am on step 11. For those of you that don’t know step 11, don’t be lazy. Look it up. Read it. Meditate on it. I am not going to quote it exactly. Its basically about improving my conscious contact with God. Ok, so I am ready for that. I think. I know I want my contact with God to improve. I recognize that His mercy, grace and love are all involved in my recovery and growth. So how do I improve it? Additional prayer? More church? Intensive Bible study? Well…as I mentioned in paragraph one, my sponsor likes watching me squirm. So not exactly.

I will be transparent, I figured this step would be easy. I thought I would just do more. Yeah, you read that right. Do. How has that whole trying to do more myself thing worked out for me to this point? Not so well. So, my sponsor said he was worrying about me doing too much. And that to improve my constant contact with God, I needed a process for recovery decisions. Ok, not really sure how this relates? I wasn’t either so bear with me. Basically, my decision making is not good, leaves a lot to be desired, is no bueno, doesn’t have the best track record…ok, I am being kind. My decision making sucks. Example: Several months after going through a detailed listing of all of my sexual sin with my wife in a process called disclosure, I remembered something. Something I hadn’t told her. It had nothing to do with anything specifically related to her. She wasn’t at any risk by not knowing this. However, I was sure that I needed to tell her. So I spoke with my accountability guys, my sponsor, my guys in group…they all asked if I had a screw loose. Why on earth would I tell her something that would hurt her that had no bearing on past actions or future risk. Uhhhhhh…ok, see what I mean? Not great decision making. So, I need help.

So, I worked through a process. How to make recovery decisions. I drew this neat little decision tree diagram. I talked it over with my wife, my counselor, my sponsor, other guys in recovery. I implemented it and started using it. The key steps are:

  • Is it bigger than me
  • What does God say
  • Pray over it for 7 days with my wife
  • What does my circle say (counselor, sponsor, accountability guys)
  • Do I have time

And I use it. I have a process. A process for making sure God is at the center of my decision making. You know, increasing my constant contact with God by including Him in my decisions. After all, He promises work in all things for His good and according to His good purpose. Pretty damn cool.

By

A Declaration of Independence

A Declaration of Independence
Originally posted on July 4, 2012

Today, we celebrate Independence Day in the United States of America.  I am grateful for the freedoms we have been given in this country.  Some of the freedoms I had, however, were very harmful to me.  These freedoms included the freedom to view and use pornography, the freedom to pursue happiness in legal forms of sexual acting out, and the freedom to worship my own god; sex impurity.  I have also been given new freedoms, the freedom choose a recovery program that satisfies my needs, the freedom to say “no” to sexual acting out, and the freedom to call Jesus Christ my highest power, and worship Him fully without fear of persecution or harm against me or my family.

Independence means a lot of things to different people.  The definition is written below:

in·de·pend·ence /ˌɪndɪˈpɛndəns/ [in-di-pen-duhns] noun 1. Also, independency. the state or quality of being independent. 2. freedom from the control, influence, support, aid, or the like, of others.

In our case, it is freedom from the control of our sexual impurity and the behaviors associated with it.  Every July 4th, we not only celebrate the independence of these United States of America, but we should also make the following declaration written below, as edited from the original Declaration of Independence.

I, __________, a man who struggles maintaining sexual purity, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of my intention, do, in the Name, and by Authority of Jesus Christ and my healthy being, solemnly publish and declare, That I am, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent of sexual compulsive behaviors, that I am Absolved from all Allegiance to demoralizing and incomprehensible compulsive sexual behaviors, and that all connection between me and my sexual impurity, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as a Free and Independent man, I have full Power to levy War against my sexual impurity, conclude Peace of mind, contract Alliances in my recovery, establish psychological therapy as needed to do all other Acts and Things which a healthy, sexually pure man may of right do.  — And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Jesus Christ, I mutually pledge to my Life, my Fortunes, and my sacred Honor.

My declaration is short and to the point, definitely not as elegant as the one written by our Country’s founders.  Also, I wish it was as simple as making the declaration!  The United States had to fight a war, and subsequent wars against the British to gain their independence.  Furthermore, the United States had to continue to battle against other foreign nations in order to gain full independence.  And later, it had to fight a Civil War (a war against oneself) in order to maintain its independence!  Even today, the United States continues to fight to maintain its independence, this fight may be against terrorists, against energy monopolies, against corruption, etc…  The point is, the United States of American has continued to fight to maintain its independence and must continue to fight.

In this same way, we need to continue to fight against our sexual impurity.  We can’t let our guard down.  If we do, then we will have allowed our sexual impurity a foothold into our life and that makes the fall easier!  We must be always vigilant in our struggle to maintain sexual purity.  Sexual Purity is not a right, it is a privilege given to us, by God, on a daily basis, and we must always be grateful for that privilege and do whatever we can to maintain it.  We have not been and are not perfect, however, we will continue to strive for progress, not perfection in our recovery.

So we not only declare independence from our sexual impurity but also that we will do whatever it takes to maintain my sobriety.  One moment at a time, one second at a time, one minute at a time, one hour at a time, one day at a time!

Take what you like and leave the rest.

By

Unless You Are Johnny 5 ….

…. this is NOT the correct way to study the Castimonia Book, or any recovery book for that matter!  You must study it, learn it, and apply it to your life.

By

Your Addiction

Your Addiction

Posted: 05 Jan 2016 02:00 AM PST

I’ve never been stimulated by or addicted to pornography. I suppose the major reason is because it wasn’t available during my growing-up years. Today it’s easy to make a few clicks on the keyboard or press buttons on the TV remote and the porn is in front of us.

A few men speak with disdain over others’ bad decisions. They’re repulsed when they learn that a friend has sneaked back (even temporarily) into old habits. Roger visits his friends Norm and Stan for dinner and ends up drunk or smoking pot again. “He should have known better,” Stan says.

Perhaps it gives the speaker a sense of superiority or he feels smug because he doesn’t do those things. He can talk dismissively about others who are still caught with their addictions or weaknesses.

I think of a verse from the Bible that urges us to help those who have failed and adds, “Humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself” (Galatians 6:1).

I may not have your problems, but I have my own. I’m not better than you (or worse). Each of us faces our own weaknesses.

Your addictions or problems are yours; 
I must not forget that I struggle with my own issues.

By

Tuesday July 4th Meeting at Cinco Ranch Church of Christ Cancelled

Our host church, Cinco Ranch Church of Christ will be closed in observance of Independence Day on Tuesday, July 4th so we are canceling the Castimonia Tuesday night meeting at this church. The meeting will resume the following Tuesday night at its regular time and location.

For an alternate meeting, please visit the Sugar Land location at the Vineyard Church.

Tuesday Nights
Time: 7:00PM – 8:30PM
Location: Vineyard Church of Sugar Land
Mosaic Room (Ring door bell and enter through FRONT door.  Go to the second floor)
5015 Grove West Boulevard
Stafford, TX  77477
Contact: Troy P. at 713.906.6658 or rphtroy@gmail.com