CASTIMONIA

Sexual Purity Support & Recovery Group

Recovery Articles

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Survivor’s Guilt

From – Not Unknown

Survivor’s Guilt – A deep sense of guilt, combined often with feelings of numbness and loss of interest in life, felt by those who have survived some catastrophe.

I have heard from a lot of people over the last couple of weeks who, like me, are experiencing survivor’s guilt. My home wasn’t damaged by Harvey. No flooding, no loss of cars or property, no evacuating. I have a deep sense of guilt, and I am not sure what to do with that. I know this sounds like whining and it probably is. However, it is no less real.

I am thankful that I recognize that there is an issue and that I need to do something with it. Combine this with anxiety about finding a job and worry about my father’s health, these are all warning signs. Potential triggers that could lead me into isolation and behaviors I don’t want to revisit again.

Life right now in the Houston area isn’t normal. There are areas that are still impassable. Many people are out of their homes and away from work. In short, lots of short tempers and anxious moments. Normal life is at a standstill. Routine doesn’t really exist. And that can also be detrimental to me as my recovery life has a rhythm, many constants. I haven’t been able to meet with my sponsor or my sponsees. Recovery meetings have been canceled. Our Prodigal recovery worship service hasn’t met. Lots of uncertainty.

I am very aware that God is using this time in my life to teach me to trust Him in EVERY area of my life, including my work. I don’t yet know what that looks like, my work I mean. I do know what trusting Him in my work looks like. I am learning it from His people. Yesterday, I was talking with a guy I know who runs a recruiting firm locally. We have only met a few times but have developed a friendship. He made it clear to me that he knew that God was working in my life to identify where He wanted me to be but it was obvious He hadn’t done so yet. So then he asked to pray for me right then and he did. That was special and welcome enough. He also asked for God to allow him to be a part of what He was doing in my life, to walk beside me through it. Like I said, God keeps showing up and making His presence known.

Last Sunday, our pastor talked about survivor’s guilt. About how he personally was worrying about that. And that God showed up and spoke through his wife. She told him, without prodding, that they had been spared any damage because obviously God needed them to minister to those that did have damage. To comfort those in need and to reach out to those that needed help.

I haven’t done a lot, but God has allowed me to minister some. My youngest son and I have gotten to help my niece move out of a damaged apartment that would have been a health issue for her newborn baby. My wife and I got to volunteer at a food bank at a church we used to attend. I have gotten to reach out to my friends and neighbors and support them however possible whether it be through providing clothes or shelter or whatever else possible. Ministering is good. Living out God’s design is life altering. I know prior to entering what I call recovery, I wouldn’t even have recognized the impact on my friends and family. I am thankful that I know what survivor’s guilt is and that God has a purpose for me in the aftermath of Harvey. He has a purpose for all of us.

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The Heart of Man – Movie Event

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I was sent the trailer for this movie by a friend of mine and thought I would share with the rest of you about this movie event.  The Heart of Man is a story of redemption from our brokenness and it openly discusses sexual purity issues.  

One night only – September 14th

http://heartofmanmovie.com/tickets

SYNOPSIS

The Heart of Man” is a story inviting the sons and daughters of God to leave behind our broken, moralistic and religious way of thinking and relating to God and to others. Once we begin to know who God is (and as a result who we are), we have something to invite the world into. Freedom from performance. Freedom from managing our behavior so we appear acceptable to God. Freedom from our addictions, compulsive behaviors, secrecy and double lives. This film tears the veil of confusion over the church’s current identity crisis and enables it to invite the rest of the world to the banquet God is throwing all of us.

The film features emotional interviews with real people going through their mess and subsequent healing, and includes expert witnesses of such men as William Paul Young, author of the NY Times best-selling novel “The Shack”, Dan Allender, Ph.D, author of “The Wounded Heart” and Spoken Word Artist Jackie Hill Perry. All of that is interwoven with a production-rich “prodigal son” narrative story shot in Hawaii.

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Prodigal Worship Service – Saturday, 9/7 at 5:30 pm

Prodigal Recovery Worship Service is Back on Saturday, September 9th!
Welcome back, Prodigals! 

Our website is The Prodigals.

We are so excited to have the opportunity to meet again after the devastating impact of Harvey and its aftermath. In the midst of all this tragedy, God has obviously been at work in the lives of so many. We all look forward to a time of worship this Saturday to come together and experience our prodigal God and what He has in store for us.

Just as a reminder:
What to expect: We are not a church, we are a service of recovery and a community of hope. We have an exciting service planned this week.

  • Jackie will be giving her testimony so don’t miss hearing her story of hope and restoration.
  • Sean is delivering the message on “How Can I Help You?”  In this time of tragedy, we have all seen so many people stop focusing on self and start focusing on others. The question is, how do we maintain it? Sean will look at Paul’s transformation as the example on how we can put others first by having Christ work in and through us.

Expect impactful worship songs, a time of celebration and sharing of our milestones, and a testimony of spiritual awakening.

When: Every Saturday starting back on September 9th at 5:30 pm

Location: The Fellowship (in the Loft), 22765 Westheimer Pkwy, Katy, TX 77450

Childcare is available. Pre-notification is not necessary but is requested. For more information about childcare, email us info@theprodigals.org.

Don’t forget to stop in at Kosmos Coffee Shop at the Fellowship before and after service. They are open just for us!

Come home, prodigals! This Saturday

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EARLY BIRD REGISTRATION ENDS SOON! – Castimonia’s Paratus Retreat 2017

CASTIMONIA’S PARATUS MEN’S RETREAT 2017

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/castimonias-paratus-mens-retreat-2017-tickets-36664868609

Here is some information on the retreat.  I pray that the Lord uses this retreat to help men in their sexual purity journey.  The link to register for the retreat will be available later this Summer.

Friday, November 3rd – Sunday, November 5th

Castimonia’s Paratus Retreat is a retreat for any man who struggles with any type of sexual purity.  Paratus is Latin for equipped.

If you are wondering about whether to attend this retreat, ask yourself these questions:

  • Are you fully equipped for the spiritual battle that is raging around us right now?
  • Are you a man who strives for biblical sexual purity?
  • Are you a man who struggles with maintaining that sexual purity?
  • Do you want a circle of brothers helping you in your sexual purity journey?

Join us for a weekend dedicated to equipping adult men of all ages, all walks of life, and various levels of struggle with the tools necessary to wage this spiritual battle and emerge on the other side as the sexually pure men that God intended us to be.

At the retreat, we will discuss strategies for equipping ourselves with tactics necessary for battling the enemy. We will discover the true meaning of brotherhood and fellowship. The leaders of the retreat will set the example of vulnerability and accountability. We hope to pave the way for all men to be fully equipped to wage war against Satan’s tempting assaults and emerge VICTORIOUS.

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/castimonias-paratus-mens-retreat-2017-tickets-36664868609

Early Bird Registration up until September 15 – $175

Regular Registration after September 15 – November 1st – $200

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Setting Boundaries On Marital Submission

Ephesians 5:21 – ““Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.””

Whenever I (Dr. Townsend) talk about a wife setting boundaries in marriage, someone asks about the biblical idea of submission. What follows is not a full treatise on submission, but some general issues you should keep in mind.

First, both husbands and wives are supposed to practice submission, not just wives. “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ” (see Ephesians 5:21). Submission is always the free choice of one party to another. Wives choose to submit to their husbands, and husbands choose to submit to their wives.

Christ’s relationship with the church is a picture of how a husband and wife should relate: “Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless” (see Ephesians 5:24–27).

Whenever submission issues are raised, the first question that needs to be asked is: what is the nature of the marital relationship? Is the husband’s relationship with his wife similar to Christ’s relationship with the church? Does she have free choice, or is she a slave “under the law”? Many marital problems arise when a husband tries to keep his wife “under the law,” and she feels all the emotions the Bible promises the law will bring: wrath, guilt, insecurity, and alienation (see Romans 4:15; Galatians 5:4).

Freedom is one issue that needs to be examined; grace is another. Is the husband’s relationship with his wife full of grace and unconditional love? Is she in a position of “no condemnation” as the church is (see Romans 8:1), or does her husband fail to “wash her” of all guilt? Usually husbands who quote Ephesians 5 turn their wives into slaves and condemn them for not submitting. If she incurs wrath or condemnation for not submitting, she and her husband do not have a grace-filled Christian marriage; they have a marriage “under the law.”

Often, the husband is trying to get his wife to do something that either is hurtful or takes away her will. Both of these actions are sins against himself. “Husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church” (see Ephesians 5:28–29).

Given this, the idea of slave-like submission is impossible to hold. Christ never takes away our will or asks us to do something hurtful. He never pushes us past our limits. He never uses us as objects. Christ “gave himself up” for us. He takes care of us as he would his own body.

I have never seen a “submission problem” that did not have a controlling husband at its root. When the wife begins to set clear boundaries in marriage, the lack of Christlikeness in a controlling husband becomes evident because the wife is no longer enabling his immature behavior. She is confronting the truth and setting biblical limits on hurtful behavior. Often, when the wife sets boundaries, the husband begins to grow up.

This devotional is drawn from Boundaries in Marriage, by John Townsend and Henry Cloud.