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CASTIMONIA

Sexual Purity Support & Recovery Group

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step one

January 21, 2021 By Castimonia

Why Do You Do What You Don’t Want To Do?

Source:  Rick Warren

“You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

John 8:32 (NIV)

Have you ever wondered why you do what you don’t want to do? Ever wondered why it’s so hard to do the things that you know are the right things to do?

Our sinful nature causes us to often make the wrong choice. You can probably relate to the apostle Paul when he says, “I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate . . . So I am not the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it. And I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. I want to do what is right, but I can’t” (Romans 7:15, 17-18 NLT).

Even after you become a follower of Jesus, there’s this tension inside of you. You have your good nature that God gave you, but you also have your old sinful nature that is pulling at you.

But there is a way out! Jesus promised in John 8:32, “You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free” (NIV).

The secret to personal change is not willpower or something you do or say. It’s not a pill, resolution, or vow you make.

The secret to personal change is something you know.

You know the truth. When you change the way you think, it changes the way you feel. And when you change the way you feel, it changes the way you act.

Behind every self-defeating act is a lie you believe. It may be a lie about yourself, your past or future, God, or others.

Why do you do something that you know is bad for you? Because you think there’s some kind of payoff. That’s the lie! You can only change and fulfill God’s purpose for your life if you start with God’s truth. If you want to change the way you live, you need to start in your mind. You need to know and believe God’s truth.

When you know the truth, the truth will set you free.

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: first step, porn, porn addiction, pornography, Sex, sex addiction, Step 1, step one

November 16, 2016 By Castimonia

Journal Through Recovery Entry 13: Giving a First Step

My counselor just let me know that he thought my First Step was ready. There were parts I wanted to leave out. Disclosing was hard enough. Looking at my wife and telling her all of my sins, my deep rooted sexual sins…that was excruciating. Now, I get to do it again, this time with other men in recovery.

Step One: “We admitted we were powerless over our addictions and compulsive behaviors, that our lives had become unmanageable.”

I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature.  For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.” (Romans 7:18)

Powerless is the appropriate word. I am powerless. I didn’t know that. I didn’t know I was powerless. I thought the opposite. I thought I was in control. I thought I could “manage” my life and had managed it quite well. I feel powerless as I read over my First Step, my description of how and why I ended up here in recovery, powerless.

Of all the options, I had to pick Castimonia for a recovery group. First steps are detailed, thorough, written and read out loud…at a group meeting. Other recovery groups make them short and private. Not Castimonia. Nice. (Sex Addicts Anonymous also practices giving a complete public First Step).

I let the leaders of Castimonia know that I was ready to do my First Step. I expected to wait a week or two before it could be scheduled. That turned out to be wishful thinking on my part. My date was the next day.

The room was full. It kept filling up. I hadn’t been in a meeting this large. Maybe it was me just thinking that …nope, its full! We opened the meeting, read through all the readings, finished up, and the leader stated that today would be a First Step, unlike any other meetings. One of my accountability partners introduced my First Step. I could breathe a little seeing my friend there, the one I had read it to already. Maybe I wouldn’t hyperventilate before I started.

So now its my turn…“Hi, I am a believer in Christ and a recovering sex addict and this is my First Step…”

I couldn’t look up. The leader told me not to get too deep in my shame, to focus on the guilt for my actions but not allow myself to be identified by them. I tried hard. I kept repeating the Serenity Prayer in my head the entire time.

Reading those words, my life story, my sexual sin, the damage I caused, how I tried to minimize them in the past and how I try not to think about all of them even now. It’s so much. I spoke out loud the unmanageable parts of my life, the insanity, the costs. And then I finished.

The feedback started…guys identifying with different aspects of my story. I told one guy that I had heard his testimony and it gave me courage to speak out loud an early part of my story that caused me the most shame. He told me that I would get to a point where I wasn’t ashamed to tell my story. I would know that God wants me to use it to show others that He can work in all areas, even the darkest.

I wrote this in my journal after I finished:

“God help me let go of my shame. Help me to not be ashamed of my story. Help me to know you can and will use my story for your glory and to impact others. Give me strength and guidance in how to share and use my story to impact my family.”

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, affair, Affairs, alcoholic, anonymous sex partners, call girls, castimonia, Character Defects, christian, co-dependency, Emotions, escorts, father wound, first step, gratification, healing, Intimacy, Jesus Christ, lust, masturbation, porn, porn star, pornography, pornstar, pornstars, prostitute, prostitutes, ptsd, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sex partners, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, spouses, STD, step one, strippers, trauma

August 2, 2016 By Castimonia

Castimonia Purity Podcast Episode 9: Step One – Explanation, Examples, and How to Work the Step

https://castimonia.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/podcast09-step-one.mp3

Step one is the beginning of the journey of the 12-steps. Learn what it takes to break free of the denial and recognize our own insane behaviors.

This is a 2-part series that is designed to help us see how we were powerless to change without help from our Higher Power.

In this casual conversation, learn what it takes to begin to seek healing and help by being vulnerable enough to admit we can’t change on our own no matter how much we want to.

Email us at puritypodcast@castimonia.org for more information or to give us your feedback, and remember that you are not walking this road alone!

Filed Under: podcast, Podcasts, Purity Podcast, Sex Addiction Podcast, Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, Affairs, alcoholic, anonymous sex partners, castimonia, Character Defects, christian, co-dependency, Emotions, escorts, father wound, gratification, healing, Intimacy, Jesus Christ, lust, masturbation, podcast, Podcasts, porn, porn star, pornography, pornstar, pornstars, prostitutes, ptsd, purity, Purity Podcast, purity podcasts, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, spouses, STD, step one, strippers, trauma

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This site is intended for individuals who struggle with maintaining sexual purity. This information is posted for individuals at various stages in their recovery, year 1 to year 30+; what applies to some, may not apply others. Spouses are encouraged to read this blog with the caveat that they may not agree with, understand, or know the reason for some items posted. As always, take what you like and leave the rest.

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