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sexual addiction

September 1, 2016 By Castimonia

Relapse of Monumental Proportions …

It’s sad to see a relapse.  I don’t know if Anthony was in recovery but either way, maybe it’s time he got into recovery or serious about his recovery.  May God grant him serenity!

Originally posted at: https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-fix/wp/2016/08/29/anthony-weiner-just-blew-his-a-second-chance-at-a-second-chance

Anthony Weiner just blew his second chance at a second chance

By Amber Phillips August 29

UPDATE: Anthony Weiner and his wife, Huma Abedin, are separating. An updated post follows. 

In May, Anthony Weiner bared all to the world — again. But for once, it wasn’t by accident. A new, cringe-inducing documentary about the disgraced congressman’s run for mayor of New York City — and the sexting revelations that crashed his campaign — had just been released.

The documentary was so strikingly honest that we at The Fix wondered whether Weiner was trying to to have a third go at public life by airing all his dirty laundry. After it aired, Weiner, a Democrat, became a reliable anti-Trump voice in New York City media. He even tried to bait Donald Trump Jr. into running for mayor of New York City against him.

If elected office was Weiner’s goal, though, he just blew it by breaking the one rule of redemption: fully come clean.

Just two weeks ago, when he was asked if his sexting days were behind him, he seemed to deflect. And now we know why: On Sunday night, the New York Post reported that Weiner had recently been sexting with a woman who is not his wife. Making the story even more cringe-worthy, the New York Post reports that Weiner sent a suggestive photo of himself while his toddler son was in the bed next to him.

Weiner didn’t deny any of this. He told the New York Post that he and the woman “have been friends for some time.”

“She has asked me not to comment except to say that our conversations were private, often included pictures of her nieces and nephews and my son and were always appropriate,” he said. By Monday morning, Weiner had deleted his Twitter account. By Monday afternoon, his wife, Huma Abedin, announced the two were separating.  The day after these revelations, Weiner isn’t just facing questions about his political career. He’s facing questions about his parenting skills. And for the third time, his questionable decisions are ensnaring his wife, one of Hillary Clinton’s top aides, by raising questions about her decision to leave their son in a potentially dangerous situation.

The irony here is that Weiner had finally appeared to be cleaning up his soiled public reputation.

A world existed where the arc of Weiner’s career looked like this: sext while a member of Congress, resign, apologize, run for mayor, weather revelations that he didn’t stop sexting when he got caught the first time, lose the primary for mayor, star in an unflinching documentary about that painfully embarrassing moment AND possibly have an opening for a third chance at public office.

“We’re all flawed,” said Kristen Hawn, the Democratic half of the bipartisan Washington communications firm Granite Integrated Strategies, when we talked in May as the documentary was released. “And I’m not saying everybody will forgive him, but I do think there’s something in all of us that appreciates a politician who is willing to take responsibility for his or her actions, being forthcoming with the voters and asking for forgiveness.”

The catch, Hawn theorized, was that Weiner had to finally decide to be honest and contrite about his sexual struggles. (Or at least, give the perception that he felt bad and then be smart enough not to get caught doing it again.)

Earlier this year, Weiner seemed to be walking that path. A few months before the documentary came out, he spoke in a remarkably candid interview with the Huffington Post’s Candidate Confessional podcast about what went wrong in the mayoral race.

“Love him or hate him,” I wrote then, “his 45-minute reflection on himself and the scandal reminds us there’s still a breathing, thinking, calculating human being behind the headlines of a politician gone awry.”

But looking back, Weiner seemed to be trying to have it both ways by dropping hints about his sexual escapades without outright acknowledging them. Weiner hadn’t ever actually said he’s stopped sexting. As my Fix colleague Aaron Blake pointed out, as recently as two weeks ago he told the New York Times’ Mark Leibovich: “I’m not going to go down the path of talking about any of that.”

Weiner continued: “But I will say this: There’s no doubt that the Trump phenomenon has led a lot of people to say to me, ‘Boy, compared to inviting the Russians to come hack someone’s email, your thing seems almost quaint.’ “

What Weiner probably should have been saying this whole time is that he’d worked hard and finally kicked the habit. (And, it goes without saying, not been sexting behind the scenes.) Anything less means Weiner may have just used up his ninth political life.

Amber Phillips writes about politics for The Fix. She was previously the one-woman D.C. bureau for the Las Vegas Sun and has reported from Boston and Taiwan.

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, Affairs, alcohol, alcoholic, Anthony Weiner, castimonia, Character Defects, christian, co-dependency, Emotions, escorts, father wound, gratification, healing, Intimacy, Jesus Christ, lust, masturbation, politics, porn, pornography, pornstar, pornstars, prostitute, prostitutes, ptsd, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sex partners, sexting, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, spouses, strippers, trauma, Wiener

August 31, 2016 By Castimonia

Journal Through Recovery Entry 02: Counseling?

“Counseling………..do I need counseling? I really think this is a waste of time.  What will he tell me about me that I don’t already know?”

These were my thoughts after scheduling my first counseling session. I had seen a counselor before.  He really only had what I told him to go on and I only went to humor my wife to keep our marriage together.  I was able to manipulate him easily.  I didn’t think this would be any different.

My wife’s counselor suggested that my wife make it a requirement of continuing in the marriage that I see a counselor. Not just any counselor.  One that worked directly with her in the counseling practice.  Someone that I actually knew.  He was a nice guy.  I had heard him tell his story before to others at the church I used to attend.  He had a history in this kind of thing, you know, in admitting to being unfaithful like I am.  He shouldn’t be much different than my previous counselor.

By agreeing to see him, I figured this would make me look good. I set up the appointment.  On the day of the appointment, I went in his office looking sufficiently contrite and ashamed.  He asked me to tell my story, why I was there in my own words. So I did.  I told him my story, as much as I was willing to tell.  I told him everything that my wife knew and was feeling great about myself.  If this was counseling, I had this covered.

When I finished, he just looked at me. And waited.  For a long time. An uncomfortably long time.  Then he said, “Thank you for telling me that.  But there is more, isn’t there?”

Dang.

So, here I was at a decision point, a crossroads. This was not what I expected, but I had an opportunity. This was a chance for me to unburden and release the junk in my life that I have never let go of before. I was scared and nervous and actually very much wanting to withdraw and isolate.  However, I saw sitting across from me someone who had been where I was and didn’t seem to be judging me based upon what he could already see.

So I unburdened. For the first time in my life, I was honest.  I started as far back as I could remember and let go of all the things that have weighted me down into despair and shame.  I didn’t realize how much shame I had deep in my life. I guess I have been denying the impact that my years of acting out have had on my psyche and especially on my self-worth.

I cried. I don’t know why whether it was from the shame of verbalizing my actions, the relief from unburdening them, or the terror of having just let another person see who and what I was. What surprised me the most was that I didn’t die. The world didn’t end. Lightning didn’t strike me. I just knew one thing for sure, I couldn’t go back to what I was, being hidden.  The only question for me now was……..now what??

 

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, Affairs, alcoholic, anonymous sex partners, castimonia, Character Defects, christian, co-dependency, counseling, Emotions, escorts, father wound, gratification, healing, Intimacy, Jesus Christ, lust, masturbation, porn, porn star, pornography, pornstar, pornstars, prostitute, prostitutes, ptsd, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sex partners, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, spouses, STD, strippers, trauma

August 31, 2016 By Castimonia

Castimonia’s Paratus Men’s Retreat 2016 – Early Bird Registration Ends TONIGHT!

This is a final reminder that the early bird price of $135 will end right before midnight TONIGHT!  Regular registration will begin at Midnight tomorrow. Only 8 spots left for early bird registration.

Here is some information on the retreat.  I pray that the Lord uses this retreat to help men in their sexual purity journey.  The link to register for the retreat is at the bottom of this page.

Friday, November 11th – Sunday, November 13th.

Castimonia’s Paratus Retreat is sponsored by Armaturam, LLC and is a retreat for any man who struggles with any type of sexual purity.  Paratus, Latin for equipped.

If you are wondering about whether to attend this retreat, ask yourself these questions:

  • Are you fully equipped for the spiritual battle that is raging around us right now?
  • Are you a man who strives for biblical sexual purity?
  • Are you a man who struggles with maintaining that sexual purity?
  • Do you want a circle of brothers helping you in your sexual purity journey?

Join us for a weekend dedicated to equipping adult men of all ages, all walks of life, and various levels of struggle with the tools necessary to wage this spiritual battle and emerge on the other side as the sexually pure men that God intended us to be.

At the retreat, we will discuss strategies for equipping ourselves with tactics necessary for battling the enemy. We will discover the true meaning of brotherhood and fellowship. The leaders of the retreat will set the example of vulnerability and accountability. We hope to pave the way for all men to be fully equipped to wage war against Satan’s tempting assaults and emerge VICTORIOUS.

Castimonia Retreat

The link above will take you to our host site Armaturam.org.  If the link doesn’t work, copy and paste this link below:

Register by following this link: https://armaturam.org/castimonia-retreat-registration-page/castimonias-paratus-mens-retreat-2016-25634086242/

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, Affairs, alcohol, alcoholic, castimonia, Character Defects, christian, co-dependency, Emotions, escorts, father wound, gratification, healing, Intimacy, Jesus Christ, lust, masturbation, porn, porn star, pornography, pornstar, pornstars, prostitute, prostitutes, ptsd, purity, recovery, retreat, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sex partners, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, spouses, strippers, trauma

August 30, 2016 By Castimonia

Castimonia Purity Podcast Episode 15: Michael John Cusick – Sex Addiction Recovery Interview

https://castimonia.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/podcast15-michael-john-cusick1.mp3

Michael John Cusick is the author of “Surfing for God” which details his story and struggle with pornography and sexual addiction. He highlights the power of addiction within the chemicals of the brain based upon years of conditioning. His book highlights ways to breaks those patterns of behaviors to live a light fully in the freedom of Christ.

He is an expert on the addiction to pornography and the practical and spiritual steps necessary to break free from that bondage. He is the founder and President of “Restoring the Soul” ministries in Denver, Colorado as well as a lead counselor and spiritual director on staff.  He currently resides in Littleton, Colorado and enjoys his family and the outdoors.

For more information about his work, ministry, or intensives, please visit www.restoringthesoul.com , www.surfingforgodbook.com or www.michaeljohncusick.com

For more information on the podcast or to get help please email us at puritypodcast@castimonia.org.

Filed Under: podcast, Podcasts, Purity Podcast, Sex Addiction Podcast, Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, affair, Affairs, alcohol, alcoholic, anonymous sex partners, call girls, castimonia, Character Defects, christian, co-dependency, Emotions, escorts, father wound, gratification, healing, human trafficking, Intimacy, Jesus Christ, lust, masturbation, Michael John Cusick, porn, porn star, pornography, pornstar, pornstars, prostitute, prostitutes, ptsd, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sex partners, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, spouses, STD, strippers, Surfing for God, trauma

August 29, 2016 By Castimonia

Will my marriage survive infidelity?

Originally posted at: http://healingaftermyhusbandsaffair.wordpress.com/2014/10/25/will-my-marriage-survive-infidelity/
by thiswillnotdefineus

Often when you are diagnosed with a disease there are statistics that will tell you the survival rate. Those statistics can either give you hope or fill you with fear. Infidelity is not a diagnosable disease but recently I wondered:

Can you calculate the five-year survival rate for a couple after infidelity is discovered?

The first thing I discovered when I dove into my research is that there are no concrete statistics and information on infidelity. Infidelity is usually kept private. Many couples are just like my husband and I —anonymous. Infidelity is estimated to affect between 50—80% of marriages. Interesting enough, the statistics are almost even for men and women as the betrayer. I read a few different articles online and it’s very difficult to calculate how many marriages survive an affair. In most states, couples can have a no-fault divorce. In the state I live in, infidelity has no bearing on the divorce proceedings or child custody agreements. I only know that because I looked it up on my D-day. I wanted to know if I could take my children away from my husband if we decided to end our marriage. I look back now and realize how vindictive that thought is but I was hurt, lost and afraid. According to divorce records infidelity is stated as the cause of the end of marriage 17% of the time. Therapists surveyed have stated that infidelity is to blame for divorces as high as 80% of the time. The numbers are all over the place because infidelity is private. One also has to wonder if will couple site infidelity for their divorce if they try to make their marriage work and decide to end their marriage years later.

Many people go will never disclose infidelity occurred in their marriage. It is estimated that2/3 of spouses will never find out their spouse cheated. I also read that most cheaters will never cheat again. I’m not sure if I believe that statement but it debunks the statement “once a cheater always a cheater.” I question that people only have one affair because I think most people would lie to cover an undetected affair to make themselves look better in the eyes of their spouse and/or anyone else. Although, I’ve also read that when an affair is discovered and the betrayer repents and atones for their mistake then another affair is highly unlikely.

All of these statistics are just numbers. When I started reading about infidelity survival rates it was because someone asked me if I believed my husband and I would make it five years. My reaction was immediate and spontaneous – I said yes, absolutely. Yet, a few weeks later I’m sitting here realizing that the survival of our relationship is not a guarantee.

Infidelity is like a disease in marriage. The instant I discovered my husband’s betrayal I was confused, angry and hurt. I married my husband because I loved him. I believed we were destined for each other and that he would never hurt me. His affair stole my sense of security in our relationship. The person I trusted the most in this world lied, deceived and betrayed me and I was completely unprepared. I look back on this “journey” now and realize that in the beginning I believed that my husband loved me and our marriage could kick infidelity’s ass. I want to silently prove to Bat Shit that she meant nothing. Sex every day of the week signified his commitment to me. I wanted to erase the affair from our life.

Two years later, I have a new view of my marriage and myself. I recognize that I chose my husband and there are likely no stars aligned that pre-destined our relationship.  Our relationship has never been perfect but the innocence of my love for my husband pre-affair allowed me to only see the good. Sometimes I wonder if my unflawed view of him clouded my judgment. Maybe that’s how love begins; we cannot see our lover’s weaknesses or our relationship’s flaws. Perfection is unrealistic and unattainable. Two people cannot be perfect in life or for each other. Two years after my D-day I can appreciate the imperfections of my marriage. We are together because we choose to be here, fighting for the survival of our marriage together. Just like being diagnosed with a disease, you can choose to fight for your life or you can accept defeat. Infidelity is not a death sentence.

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, Affairs, castimonia, Character Defects, christian, Emotions, escorts, father wound, gratification, healing, Intimacy, Jesus Christ, lust, masturbation, porn, pornography, pornstars, prostitutes, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sexual, sexual addiction, spouses, strippers, trauma

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This site is intended for individuals who struggle with maintaining sexual purity. This information is posted for individuals at various stages in their recovery, year 1 to year 30+; what applies to some, may not apply others. Spouses are encouraged to read this blog with the caveat that they may not agree with, understand, or know the reason for some items posted. As always, take what you like and leave the rest.

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