CASTIMONIA

Sexual Purity Support & Recovery Group

Sex

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Video – Shamed Documentary Trailer

I found the trailer to this documentary fascinating.  Christians taking a stand and attacking the guilt and shame behind pornography use by Christians.  As a recovery sex addict, I can relate to the guilt and shame quite well.  Please take a moment to read the story behind the video posted under the video.

 

Click here for the full post and donation page.

As much as we hate to think about it, pornography is affecting our lives.

What was considered “hardcore”pornography 30 years ago is now considered “softcore”. What used to be considered “softcore” 30 years ago is now considered “normalized” pornography (Gail Dines, Pornland). So at the very least level, your life is absolutely affected by what our culture currently displays as “normalized” pornography. Generally speaking, someone you love very much is viewing or hooked on hardcore pornography, you may not know it yet because most users can easily keep this consumption a secret.

Some of you are extremely aware of how living with a pornography addiction can affect your lives and relationships. You also understand how the stigma of shame surrounding the issue perpetuates and increases the problem.

Here is an excerpt from a letter I received from an 18-year-old girl dealing with her addiction to pornography since age 13.

“By the time I understood what pornography was, it was too late.  My conscious was telling me that what I was doing wasn’t right, but I didn’t know how to stop. I hid my problem from everyone, convinced everyone would hate me for what I was doing, as much as I hated myself.  The more I sinned, the more I hated myself, and the more I turned to pornography for release. As a form of punishment, every time I messed up I wouldn’t allow myself to eat a meal.  I saw it as a good solution.  By doing so, I might defer myself from sinning, while getting the kind of body the women I saw had.  My perception of beauty was warped.  My perception of everything was warped…I tell myself, no one would ever guess I have this issue, so there must be many [others] out there who are hiding it just as effectively as I am.”

There are thousands and thousands of young men and women just like this in our cultures. We must do something to help them and to change the way people currently perceive pornography. The overall message of our film will help people to understand pornography addiction by learning to SPEAK openly, LISTEN compassionately, and HEAL completely.

We feel strongly that our best protection against this issue is through awareness, education, honest and frank conversation with your loved ones, and in taking back sex education for the sake of our children.

This is an issue that affects all Christian denominations, as such Shamed will be an interfaith effort, featuring authorities and experts on the issue of many faiths.

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Video – The Dark Reality of Pornography

I found this short video on the “rape for profit” website that combats sex trafficking in the United States.

Donny Pauling, a former porn producer for Playboy, sits down with us and discusses the dark reality of Porn…

Full interview:

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Video – Three Ways Pornography Drives The Demand For Sex Trafficking

I found this short video on the “rape for profit” website that combats sex trafficking in the United States.

Noel Bouche, VP of pureHOPE and a lawyer, sits down with us and discusses the 3 ways that Porn drives the demand for sex trafficking

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Addiction and the Road to Recovery

This is an old article from 2009 written by Steve Arterburn.  I found it informative and related to sexual purity, addictions, and seeking help from our Higher Power.

Addiction and the Road to Recovery

Steve Arterburn

New Life Ministries

Acceptance is the first principle of recovery. Recovery begins when an individual moves from denial to acceptance. It does not happen all at once, and it isn’t something that another person can do for the individual suffering from an addiction. Still, each time you confront a person with reality you help bring him closer to accepting his situation and seeing the need to change.

Most people have lived in denial for years before they come for help. Often they have been surrounded by “co-conspirators” who have enabled their dysfunctional behavior to continue and who have reinforced their denial system. Together they have constructed a delusional world where the full extent of the problem is never acknowledged, let alone dealt with. The first job of treatment, then—and the first step toward recovery—is to bring someone to the point of acceptance.

Sometimes people ask if a person can be helped who does not want help. Usually…

Click here for entire article

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Castimonia Saturday Morning Meeting Topic – 04/28/2012

RESENTMENT

A friend in recovery once told me that “resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die”.  So in essence, resentment is like drinking poison.  We poison our minds with resentments we hold onto and in some way, shape, or form, hope that the person we resent “feels” our pain.

Well this simply is not the case.  The person whom we resent does not, and cannot feel our pain.  Resentment, however affects us deeply and we feel the pain from our own resentment of others.  No matter what has happened in your life, no matter what was done to you, to hold onto a resentment is your own fault, not someone else’s.

I was sexually abused as a child, and for many years I had this hidden level of resentment for my abusers.  I always kept it hidden deep inside and did not really open up and discuss the resentment I really had for these individuals but in really I was just in denial about the abuse.  I did not even see it as abuse and a resentment until a therapist helped me see my abuse for what it really was, childhood sexual abuse.  Once I opened that door to the truth, I was flooded with feelings of sadness, anger, rage, hate and found myself resenting these other people and what they took from me; my innocence.  I was under the illusion that it was not childhood sexual abuse because my abusers were my age or a little older.  Also, I actually enjoyed the sexual acting out with one girl in particular and never questioned my friends when asked to perform sexual acts with them.  I was under the illusion that sex was part of friendship and that being loved by a female was translated through her wanting to be sexual with me, initiating the sex.  I grew up with this misconception and it greatly affected numerous relationships I had as an adult.

So how do I work on my resentment?  Well the 12 Steps has a solution on working on these issues.  Step 4 states, “Made a Searching and Fearless Inventory of Ourselves.”  What does this mean?  It means we look deep into our character defects and part of this looking deep is to look at where we still hold onto our resentments.

In working a Step 4 inventory on my resentment, I was able to properly list out the resentment, give specifics about why I am resentful, and then in Column 3 describe in detail how it affects me personally (self-esteem, security, ambitions, personal relationships, sex relations).  However, Column 4 is perhaps the most important column in this Step 4 resentment inventory.  In Column 4, we describe where we are wrong in holding onto this resentment.  We list where we were being selfish, dishonest, self-seeking, and frightened and thus held onto this resentment.

For the sake of time and space, I won’t go into all the details of working a Step 4 on my particular resentment.  Please consult with your sponsor for a detailed analysis on working a proper Step 4, as he might see things in your that you cannot see for yourself.

Today’s meeting was held at Rick’s Ranch in Sealy, TX.  The address and directions to the ranch can be found below.  Two or three more meetings this year will be held at Rick’s and we have food, fun, and fellowship afterward.  Getting to know one another outside a normal meeting setting is very important for establishing trust and friendships with one another in our recovery!

April 28, 2012 – Castimonia at Rick’s Ranch
On Saturday, April 28, 2012, Castimonia will NOT be meeting at The Fellowship at Cinco Ranch.  The church will be holding a parent’s summit that Saturday.  Castimonia will meet at Rick’s Ranch near Sealy, TX.  We will have our regular meeting at 10am and have a food fellowship at 11:30am.  We should be finished by 12:30pm but you may leave earlier if needed.

Rick’s Ranch
9597 SE I-10 Frontage Road
Sealy, TX  77474

Here’s a bing map of the location: http://binged.it/JD7AIE

Click on the map below for a full-size image with driving directions.