CASTIMONIA

Sexual Purity Support & Recovery Group

prayer

By

Prayer and Recovery

https://applyingmybeliefs.wordpress.com/2015/05/29/prayer-and-recovery/
by applyingmybeliefs

Most spiritual programs of recovery admonish us to pray.  Some pray to “higher powers”, some to God, as they know Him, and others to Christ who is the one true God.  It seems that non-Christian recovery programs implicitly agree with the Christian perspective that prayer changes things.  So they pray to their higher power and the real God hears and answers their prayers in accordance with His will and purposes.

God almost begs us to pray when He tells us this in His word:

Jas 5:16(b) – The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.

While James 5:16 is a great recovery verse, it actually is not the best verse on prayer and recovery in scripture.  This is:

Mt 26:41 – Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.  (Also recorded in Mk 14:38)

This is Jesus instructing His disciples on prayer as He Himself is going through the agony of knowing He is about to be crucified.  This instruction was not just for Peter, James and John; it was also for us and is every bit as important today as it was in the moment back then.  As Jesus speaks this He is quoting from the prayer Psalm that He gave David close to 900 years beforehand:

Ps 51:12 – Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit.

If you recall, Psalm 51 was penned after David was confronted by Nathan over his sexual indiscretion with Bathsheba, another man’s wife, and his subsequent murder to try to cover up the sin.  David was tempted, and his flesh was weak.

In Christian recovery we often talk about putting on the armor of God, as listed in Ephesians 6.  What we sometimes forget is what Paul said right before and right after.  Before he says our enemies are not flesh and blood, immediately after listing the armor he says to pray.

So when Jesus is instructing us to watch out and pray because our flesh is weak, He is speaking of personal spiritual warfare; our inner unsanctified person and our temptation versus the Spirit of God inside us.

All of this suggests that one of our greatest tools in recovery is that of earnest prayer, the kind of prayer mention in James 5:16.  It also implies that those who don’t pray might struggle more than those who do.  Interestingly there is research that suggests that this is true (Carter 1998, The Effects of Spiritual Practices on Recovery From Substance Abuse)

What is your experience of prayer in your recovery?  Have you decided to be like David, called by God, “A man after God’s own heart (Acts 13:22)”, and pray over your own weaknesses?

 

By

Revelation

It was January, 2010 and I’d been in recovery for sexual addiction for almost ten months. I remember sitting in my office, my stomach turning as I thought about the possibility of attempting to take custody of my daughter Elizabeth away from her drug-addicted mother.  In my heart, I knew it was the right thing to do but in my mind, fear paralyzed me.  You see, although I felt we needed to take custody of Elizabeth, the choice was not up to me.  My wife would have to be onboard for this to work out, if she wasn’t onboard, then it wouldn’t matter what I wanted or what Elizabeth needed.

The previous December, I had learned that my last affair partner had given birth to a baby girl.  Although I wasn’t 100% sure it was my child because of the mother’s promiscuous lifestyle, I knew that the probability was higher than normal due to the amount of time spent with her;  Another (huge) consequence from my sexual immorality.  At first, her father called me to discuss the baby and wanted me to relinquish all custody of the child so that she could be raised by her and her family; pretty strange for a father to call to negotiate for his adult daughter.  What I didn’t know was that the mother had been using drugs throughout the pregnancy and after giving birth she tested positive for illegal drugs.  Initially, I felt God was speaking to me through His word when I read about Hagar and Ishmael being “set free” and God promising to make Ishmael into a great nation, protecting him, caring for him, making sure he was safe.  This is what I felt would happen with Elizabeth.  Even after verbally agreeing to relinquish my rights, I had a very uneasy feeling.  This feeling lasted for almost a month when we finally found out that CPS had been involved in this case and Elizabeth’s mother had actually lost her rights and Elizabeth’s grandmother had taken over as custodian so that Elizabeth’s mother could still “raise” her. I was heartbroken.  I felt helpless.  I felt that I couldn’t let Elizabeth be raised by a drug-addicted mother in a dysfunctional household.  I wanted to do something, I had to do something, but not without my wife being onboard.

We met with our family attorney who filled us in on the legal issues involved with taking a child away from her mother and how difficult it would be to do this; near impossible unless the mother harms the child or is incarcerated, both of which we did not want Elizabeth to experience.  So I sat in my office and I worried.  At this time, I was listening to a Christian satellite radio station and they had Mac Powell, the lead singer of Third Day giving insight into their song, Revelation.  He spoke about how the song isn’t about the book of Revelation or the end of the world, it was about prayer for God to show him the way, to give him a revelation on what he needed to do. I broke down and cried at this point; the weight of this decision tearing a hole in me.  Then the song began:

“My life, has led me down the road that’s so uncertain. Now I am left alone and I am broken. Trying to find my way, trying to find the faith that’s gone.  This time, I know that You are holding all the answers.  And I’m tired of losing hope and taking chances, on roads that never seem to be the ones that bring me home.  Give me revelation, show me what to do. Cause I’ve been trying to find my way, I haven’t got a clue….” 

I wept and I prayed.  I prayed, I prayed, I prayed for God to show me what to do.  “I can’t let this little baby girl grow up in that lifestyle, I can’t just sit back idle and allow this to happen to her; allow another human being, my daughter, to grow up to be as dysfunctional as her mother and her father.  I need to take action, I need to do something, but Lord, I can’t do this without You and without my wife.  I don’t know how to convince her to love Elizabeth enough to want to take custody of her, to endure the difficult battle ahead of us, to keep our marriage together as we struggle to do what is right.  I have to answer our attorney soon on what we intend to do.  Lord, give me a revelation on what to do with Elizabeth.”

At this time, as I was finishing my prayer, I received a text from my wife with the simple words, “Go ahead take custody.”  I couldn’t believe my eyes; I began to weep.  How could this woman, who I betrayed, lied to, cheated on, and hurt so deeply want to be a part of raising a little girl that wasn’t even hers, and worse, was my affair partner’s child?  The Lord put it on my wife’s heart to love all children and understand that it wasn’t Elizabeth’s fault that she was a product of two very selfish individuals and that she should not have to suffer because of our (my affair partner and I) poor choices.  I believe it was at this point that I stopped living in fear of my wife and began living in freedom with my wife.  I had feared my wife leaving me for such a long time (I’m codependent as most addicts are) and I knew that her unselfish decision to take custody of Elizabeth was a love so powerful, that it could only come from God.  Jesus was loving me through my wife and her unselfish actions.  She could have held on to the anger she had for my activities and sought revenge on me, or worse, divorced me because of this other baby, but instead, she showed me a tremendous amount of grace; a glimpse of what God shows me.  Her grace, and the grace of God, changed my life forever. It was love and grace that God used to restore me, not anger and condemnation. I am thankful to my wife for so many things, but especially thankful for this.

It was a long and drawn out custody battle that went on for over a year.  Back and forth, back and forth, between grandmother and mother and us with tens of thousands of dollars being spent on attorneys and back child support. I don’t know how the Lord sustained us, provided for us, or how He kept our marriage together during one of the most difficult years of our lives, but He did.  It’s one thing to be in recovery working a proper program and couple’s program, but it is another to add a custody battle in the mix of it all.  There was a lot of prayer involved in this year, particularly from 2 Chronicles 20:15, where the Lord says, “Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army.  For the battle is not yours, but God’s.” I learned to turn over this custody battle to God, for Him to do what was in Elizabeth’s best interest, either to be a huge part of our family or to remain with her grandmother and mother.  Either way, we were preparing to say, “blessed be the name of the Lord.”

On April 1, 2011 we officially took custody of Elizabeth with visitation by grandmother, a miracle by Texas custody rights standards.  It is very difficult in Texas for a mother to lose the rights to her children unless she has really messed up, and I mean REALLY messed up.  It’s actually a sad state of affairs that children have to suffer when there are other, healthier people willing to take the role of custodian be it another family member or through adoption.  But perhaps that’s what the Lord wanted to show us, that He can do what is impossible, sustain our marriage in the worst of situations and bypassing the laws of the State of Texas.

SAMSUNG
Astros Faith & Family Night with Third Day, 06/2012

A couple of years ago, I finally had the opportunity to see Mac Powell and Third Day perform after a Houston Astros game.  The photo above shows the band performing the song Revelation but also shows a building in the background outside of the stadium (top center of the photo).  That building is the Harris County Civil Court Building where all family law issues are decided.  It was in that building that my wife and I took custody of Elizabeth.  It is almost fitting that the building is in the background of this photo of Third Day and I don’t think it is a coincidence at all.  Elizabeth has a much better life now, because my wife made the commitment to trust the Lord, not me, in all of this.  She knew that there was something much bigger than her, me, or our marriage at stake in making this decision.  My wife has been more of a mother to Elizabeth than she will ever experience with her birth mother, and she fights to keep her safe, and loves her like her own daughter.  That gives me hope.  If God can take this mess of  a life, transform it, and also transform the wounded heart of my wife, then anything is possible as long as we seek Him in what we do.  Next time you listen to the song Revelation, think about this story, and how God has a plan for you and your family.  No matter where you are in your recovery, I pray this story gives you hope.

Happy 5th birthday to my Lizzie LooLoo, we love you very much!

20140622_180931
Photo of Maddy (left), Lizzie, and our new daughter, Lexi.

By

The Repentant Prayer of a Sinner

I read the prayer below on another website and thought I’d share it with y’all.  I’ve used it many times since I first read it!  I hope it helps you as much as it has helped (and is helping) me.

The repentant prayer of a sinner.

Hi Good people, I have been thinking and there are sometimes during the journey to recovery, our sinful nature leads us into temptation. I would like to share a prayer from the deepest part of my heart.

Redemption prayer:
Oh God, why?
Why do I have to go through this again?
How many times will my eyes lead me to fall?
How come my eyes crave for a peep?
Why do I long to get one more touch?
She is someone else’s daughter, sister, mother.
Why do I objectify women, through a weird fetish?
Why am I overcome by evil?
Why Oh God, do I defile my body through my eyes?
Why is sin so sweet, but only for a moment?
I do not want to do this any more,
I surrender the struggle to you,
I repent of lust of the eyes,
I repent of lust of this damned flesh,
I repent of every hint of sexual immorality I have fallen to.
Wash me with the blood of Jesus.
Purify my heart, mind and body.
You are all I need Jesus,
You are my only true satisfaction,
My saviour, my deliver, my Lord.
Oh God, I pray that you teach me,
Teach me your ways,
Teach how to love you more,
Teach me how to hate sin,
Teach me how to hide the word in my heart,
I desire to give you my all,
I make a covenant with my eyes,
Not to look at any woman lustfully,
So please help me God.
The devil and all his ways were defeated on the cross,
Equip me to battle,
Equip me with God’s full armor (Eph 6)
In Jesus name I pray.

Please see this link on real repentance http://www.joncourson.com/teaching/teachingsplay.asp?teaching=S609

By

Remembering September 11, 2001

I still remember what I was doing on the morning of September 11, 2001; sitting in my office, ignoring what I thought was just a freak accident in New York City.  About an hour later, when I finally got up to watch the TV, I realized what was going on.

I received this video this morning via an e-mail subscription to God Tube and found it powerful 11 years after the September 11th attacks.  Please take a momen to watch this video and pray for the families of the people that were lost on that day, and pray for our nation.

http://www.godtube.com/watch/?v=0JF2BJNU

Amazing Grace – Beautiful September 11 Tribute
It still feels as though the tragedies of September 11 transpired just yesterday–our wounds are still healing, buildings are still under construction and questions are still unanswered. But one thing we can know for certain is the amazing grace we receive from our Lord and Savior–it is in Him that we find our true hope, healing, joy and restoration.

By

Phone Muscles

Phone Muscles

I received a phone call one Friday afternoon from a friend in my recovery program whom I met at the Journey of Hope Retreat #16.  With his permission, I am able to use his first name, Mike and discuss what we discussed over the phone.  Thanks to him, I was able to come up with this particular blog topic I titled “Phone Muscles.” 

During our conversation, Mike mentioned he was making the call, not because he was in danger of acting out or in a bad place, but because he needed to get back to making daily recovery-related phone calls and strengthen what he called his “phone muscles.”  What an awesome yet simple term to use.  I have always commented to my sponsees that they need to make at least one recovery-related phone call every day and if they cannot actually speak to someone, then at a minimum they need to leave three detailed check-in voicemails with their accountability partners.  However, until my conversation with Mike, I didn’t have a good term for the practice of making daily phone calls.  Now, I do!

As a former professional athlete (I jest) I am accustomed to a daily workout regimen to maintain my performance.  If I don’t train my muscles daily, then I won’t get stronger and my overall performance will drop.  Furthermore, there is no way I could just get into the gym and bench 405-lb without having trained on a daily basis, I would get crushed!  I have to start slowly, one work out at a time, one day at a time and build up to that amount of weight!  Such is the case with recovery.  If we don’t practice our recovery tools on a daily basis, we will not benefit from those tools.  We will not train ourselves to use the tools when the time comes; when we most desperately need it!

It begins with small increments in recovery; to try to do everything all at once can seem like a monumental task.  Make one phone call a day when you are healthy, the odds are, if you have been doing this regularly and establishing good friendships in recovery, you will be able to make that phone call when you are struggling!  Although the phone may seem like it weighs 1,000 pounds, your “phone muscles” will have trained well enough to be able to lift that weight without hesitation or strain.  However, if you neglect “phone muscles” then the 1,000-lb telephone will crush you.  You won’t be able to make that phone call you desperately need to make.  Then, you can begin incorporating more tools in your daily recovery regimen.  The phone is only one tool of many that can be implemented on a daily basis.  Other tools such as journaling, prayer and meditation, recovery reading, internet filters, and such will be discussed in later blogs, but it is possible to get to a point where you are incorporating all of these tools on a daily basis, one day at a time!

Take what you like a leave the rest.