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Sexual Purity Support & Recovery Group

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Jesus Christ

February 4, 2013 By Castimonia

Sometimes Your Husband is Not the Only One Who Needs Change

I will state that what works for some, does not work for others.  What worked for this spouse of a sex addict may or may not work in allowing God to heal the wounds created by the husband, so take what you like and leave the rest.  And husbands, don’t try to be the Holy Spirit and use this example on your wife, allow the Holy Spirit to guide your wives to their own healing.

Sometimes your husband is not the only one who needs change..

Sometimes your husband is not the only one who needs change.
February 2, 2013 by Amy

A couple of years ago I lived in a very different world. My world was full of hurt and betrayal. I tried all manner of things to ease the pain but nothing worked. I was hopeless. I remember one particular day when I called a family member to vent. I was ready to move on, to get a fresh start.  I let it all out:

I don’t deserve this! I don’t want this to be my life! I deserve to be loved and treated well!  I deserve to be happy. I’m not going to waste my whole life waiting for someone else to change. I deserve better than this!

Having had the opportunity to talk to many women who have been or who currently are in similar situations I know these feelings are not unique. I also know that just because the majority of people feel this way doesn’t make it right.

Today as I think upon those feelings and the words I used to express my pain I cringe.  I see how selfish and prideful I was.

With all that was happening to me by the actions of my husband it never dawned on me that there was anything about me that needed to change.  The idea that I was just as lost as Chad not only never crossed my mind but made made me angry to hear it suggested.  And here’s the kicker:  Do I really have the right to demand happiness, comfort, peace and love? At that time I believed I did. I had bought into the lie that suggests a Christian will always be happy, that trials, at least not big ones, will not come my way.   My idea of being a Christian looked more like the world’s ways than Jesus’ way (Phil 2:7-8).

It wasn’t until I began a bible study with a dear christian woman that the idea of not having rights surfaced.   I balked! Don’t tell me that, I thought. I’m not going to be a doormat for others to walk all over. Most certainly not my husband! It set me back and it took a while for God’s word to speak reassuring truth to my soul.

What I learned is that trouble is promised to us. We aren’t promised comfort and security but we are promised that God will be with us through the fire. We aren’t told that he will always keep us out of it. This simple truth transformed my life.

So here I was learning that I didn’t have rights and that I was just as selfish and prideful as Chad. His pride played out in a very different way, but I was just as prideful. His selfishness was out there for all to see, but I was very selfish in ways that others didn’t notice as much. I began to see my great need for God. I began, not to cry out for my marriage to be saved, or for happiness, but for God to save me from myself. I prayed and still pray for God to show me my heart and my desires as He sees them. When He reveals the way that He sees my wants and desires I can do nothing but fall at His feet and cry for mercy.

Once I began to focus on God and on my need for Him my troubles didn’t overwhelm me as they did before. I had a glimpse of my Savior and how great He is and how small I am. My life became less about pleasing myself as I began to strive to please my God and in doing that, the troubles I faced gave me greater opportunities to please my Lord. It’s during those times of trial that the rubber meets the road. Do you really believe God is with you? Suffering and trouble will show you. I am in no way perfect. I still struggle with seeing things the way I should. There are times that I have to stop myself and remind myself that my comfort and my happiness is not paramount. God is using hard days and realizations of my sinfulness to draw me to Him.

Will you allow God to speak to you through your trials? Will you praise God despite your pain? Will you honor the Lord in suffering with grace and obedience? Those are my goals. I believe if we do this it will not only help us through our trouble but most importantly it will please our Lord!

God give us the eyes to see our hearts as you see them and the ears to hear your still small voice when trouble is roaring all around us!

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, affair, Affairs, anonymous sex partners, call girls, castimonia, Character Defects, Emotions, escorts, father wound, gratification, healing, human trafficking, Intimacy, Jesus Christ, lust, masturbation, porn, porn star, pornography, pornstar, pornstars, prostitute, prostitutes, ptsd, purity, recovery, resentment, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sex partners, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, spouses, STD, strippers, trafficking, trauma

January 22, 2013 By Castimonia

Video – Martin Amis Is Worried About Porn

At the very least, there are some in the secular world that are worried about the ill-effects of pornography on today’s society. Watch this short interview with agnostic author, Martin Amis on his views on pornography and how it is negatively effecting our society.

 

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts, Videos Tagged With: addiction, affair, Affairs, anonymous sex partners, christian, escorts, father wound, gratification, healing, human trafficking, Intimacy, Jesus Christ, lust, masturbation, porn, porn star, pornography, pornstar, pornstars, prostitutes, ptsd, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sex partners, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, spouses, STD, strippers, trafficking, trauma

January 2, 2013 By Castimonia

Castimonia Thursday Night Meeting Location Change!!!

CASTIMONIA THURSDAY NIGHT MEETING BUILDING AND ROOM CHANGE!

Praise God that Grace Fellowship UMC has helped out the Castimonia Ministry by providing a larger meeting room able to accomodate more men!  Beginning Thursday, January 3rd, the Thursday night meeting will move from the Epicentre student building to room 204 of the Mansion.  See information below:

Thursday Nights
Time: 7:00PM – 8:30PM
Location: Grace Fellowship United Methodist Church – The Mansion, Room 204
2655 South Mason Road
Katy, TX  77450
281.646.1903
  
Map to Church                            Campus Map

Park to the right of the Mansion in the Green Lot.  To find Room 204, enter through the main front doors of the Mansion, go up the first set of stairs, make a U-turn, go up the second set of steps, turn to your right and go all the way down the hall to room 204.

Filed Under: General Meeting Information Tagged With: castimonia, christian, Jesus Christ, meeting, Methodist, purity, recovery, sex partners, sexual purity, United Methodist Church

December 31, 2012 By Castimonia

Castimonia Saturday Morning Meeting Topic – 12/29/2012 – Jesus Calling

jesuscallingbookIn this morning’s Castimonia meeting I read the daily devotional “Jesus Calling” by Sarah Young.

TRUST ME with every fiber of your being!  What I can accomplish in and through you is proportional to how much you depend on Me.  One aspect of this is the degree to which you trust Me in a crisis or major decision.  Some people fail miserably here, while others are at their best in tough times.  Another aspect is even more telling: the constancy of your trust in Me.  People who rely on Me in the midst of adversity may forget about Me when life is flowing smoothly.  Difficult times can jolt you into awareness of your need for Me, whereas smooth sailing can lull you into the stupor of self-sufficiency.

I care as much about your tiny trust-steps through daily life as about your dramatic leaps of faith.  You may think that no one notices, but the One who is always beside you sees everything – and rejoices.  Consistently trusting in Me is vital to flourishing in My Presence.

Psalm 40:4 – Blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, who does not look to the proud,  to those who turn aside to false gods.

Psalm 56:3-4 – When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. 4 In God, whose word I praise — in God I trust and am not afraid.  What can mere mortals do to me?

Psalm 62:8 – Trust in him at all times, you people;  pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.

Isaiah 26:3-4 – You will keep in perfect peace  those whose minds are steadfast,  because they trust in you. 4 Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord himself, is the Rock eternal.

Filed Under: Meeting Topics, Saturday Morning Meeting Topics Tagged With: addiction, Affairs, anonymous sex partners, call girls, castimonia, Christ, christian, escorts, gratification, healing, human trafficking, Intimacy, Jesus, Jesus Calling, Jesus Christ, lust, masturbation, porn, pornstar, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sex partners, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, strippers, trust

December 26, 2012 By Castimonia

Castimonia Saturday Morning Meeting Topic 12/22/12 – Men of the Bible – Solomon

Solomon [Sŏl’omon]—peace or peaceable. The tenth son of David, and second by Bath-sheba, and the third king of Israel who reigned for forty years (2 Sam. 5:14; 12:24). Solomon was also known as Jedidiah meaning, “beloved of the Lord.”

The Man Who Was Full Yet Failed

We know little of the early life of Solomon. The name given him by Nathan, but not repeated because of its sacredness, implies David’s restoration to divine favor (2 Sam. 12:25). Loved of the Lord suggests the bestowal of unusual gifts (2 Sam. 12:24, 25). It is also evident that young Solomon was greatly influenced both by his mother and Nathan (1 Kings 1:11, 12).

With reference to the character and reign of Solomon, we cannot but agree with Alexander Whyte that, “The shipwreck of Solomon is surely the most terrible tragedy in all the world. For if ever there was a shining type of Christ in the Old Testament church, it was Solomon … but everyday sensuality made him in the end a castaway.” Taking him all in all, Solomon stands out as a disappointing figure of Hebrew history. Think of the advantages he began with! There were the almost undisputed possession of David’s throne, immense stores of wealth laid up by his father, exceptional divinely imparted mental abilities, the love and high hopes of the people. Solomon’s start like the cloudless dawn of a summer’s morning, might have been beautiful all his life through, but it ended in gloom because he wandered into God-forbidden paths. Thus a life beginning magnificently ended miserably. The man who penned and preached a thousand wise things failed to practice the wisdom he taught.

The work of Solomon was the development of his father’s ideas of a consolidated kingdom, and what marvelous success crowned his efforts. Exercising the power of an oriental despot, he gave Israel a glory, prestige and splendor unsurpassed in the world’s history. On the whole, however, Solomon seemed to rule for his own aggrandizement and not for the welfare of the people. Doubtless Solomon’s artistic and literary gifts provided the masses with beneficial instruction, but the glory of Solomon brought the common people tears and groans. The great wealth provided by David for the building of a Temple speedily disappeared under Solomon’s lavish spending, and the people had to pay heavily by taxation and poverty for his magnificent whims. Yet Jesus said that the lilies of the field had greater glory than all the gaudy pomp and pride of Solomon.

Solomon’s ambition in the morning of his life was most commendable. His dream was a natural expression of this ambition, and his God-imparted wisdom an evidence of it (1 Kings 3). Then his sacrifice at Gibeon indicates that Solomon desired religion to be associated with all external magnificence. Solomon’s remarkable prayer also breathes the atmosphere of true piety and of his delight in the full recognition of God. Alas, however, Solomon came to the end of his days minus popularity and piety!

This first great naturalist the world ever saw, who wrote one thousand and five songs, three thousand proverbs and who had sagacity beyond compare, took his first step downward when he went to Egypt for his queen. A daughter of Pharaoh, sitting on the throne of David, must have shocked and saddened the godly elect of Israel. With this strange wife came her strange gods.

Then came the harem of outlandish women who caused Solomon to sin (Neh. 13:26). His wives—seven hundred of them and three hundred concubines—whom Solomon clave unto in love, turned him into an idolater (1 Kings 11:1-8). Polygamy on such a vast scale and concession for his wives to worship their own heathen gods was bad enough, but to share in such sacrilegious worship in sight of the Temple Solomon himself had built, was nauseating to God.

Thus sensuality and pride of wealth brought about Solomon’s deterioration. In the Book of Ecclesiastes which the king wrote, he surely depicted his own dissatisfaction with even life itself. All rivers ran into Solomon’s sea: wisdom and knowledge, wine and women, wealth and fame, music and songs; he tried them all, but all was vanity and vexation of spirit simply because God had been left out.

Of Solomon’s actual end little is known. He is described as an “old man” at sixty years of age. Whether Solomon repented and returned to God was a question warmly debated by the Early Fathers. There is no record of his repentance. He never wrote a penitential psalm like his father before him (Ps. 51). We have his remorse, discontent, disgust, self-contempt, “bitterer to drink than blood,” but no sobs for his sin, no plea for pardon. Thus, with such a tragic failure before us, let us take to heart the fact that Solomon’s wisdom did not teach him self-control, and that the only legacy of his violated home life was a son “ample in foolishness and lacking in understanding,” as C. W. Emmet expresses it.

Filed Under: Meeting Topics, Saturday Morning Meeting Topics, Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, affair, Affairs, anonymous sex partners, call girls, castimonia, Character Defects, christian, Emotions, escorts, father wound, gratification, healing, human trafficking, Intimacy, Jesus Christ, lust, porn, porn star, pornography, pornstar, pornstars, prostitute, prostitutes, ptsd, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sex partners, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, spouses, STD, strippers, trauma

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Castimonia Restoration Ministry, Inc. is a 501c3 non-profit organization


This site is intended for individuals who struggle with maintaining sexual purity. This information is posted for individuals at various stages in their recovery, year 1 to year 30+; what applies to some, may not apply others. Spouses are encouraged to read this blog with the caveat that they may not agree with, understand, or know the reason for some items posted. As always, take what you like and leave the rest.

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