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Caring for Victims of Sexual Abuse

Originally posted at: http://thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/tgc/2013/06/04/caring-for-victims-of-sexual-abuse/

Finding the courage to voice your story of sexual abuse can feel impossible: too exposing, too embarrassing, too painful, too taboo. Tragically, sometimes the hardest place to share such stories is within the church. “Why is this so,” asks Scotty Smith, “and how can the church do a better job of giving men and women the voice to tell their stories of shame?”

In this eight-minute video, Smith is joined by Justin Holcomb and Trillia Newbell to discuss how congregations can practically recognize, love, and care for victims of sexual abuse. For example, “The power of the pulpit shouldn’t be overlooked,” Holcomb observes. When preaching, he simply lists sexual abuse among the many sins Calvary addresses. “Just naming it can go a long way.”

“When you are violated, you feel alone,” explains Newbell, who shared her own story last year in a piece titled “Remember the Victims—Like Me.” “It took me until [2012] to tell more than five people.” One of the problems, Smith suggests, is that we often do a far better job of understanding guilt than shame. But the gospel is not just about clearing a record of guilt; it’s about disarming the power of shame. Our divine older Brother and Friend identifies with us in our pain and embraces us in our dirt. As Holcomb remarks: “‘Without spot, wrinkle, or blemish’—Christians are called what Jesus was.”

It’s imperative in our churches not only to openly recognize the prevalence of sexual abuse, but also to “connect the dots” to the person and work of Jesus. “We are all victims and agents of sin,” Smith observes, “and the gospel alone gives us the means of finding freedom in view of the day when Jesus returns to finish making all things new.”

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Ten Things You Might Not Know About Men Who Buy Sex

In a comprehensive study, “Comparing Sex Buyers with Men Who Don’t Buy Sex,” Melissa Farley, PHD, Founding Director of the Prostitution Research and Education, compares the characteristics of men who buy sex versus those who don’t. Besides their involvement with prostitution, the men surveyed revealed surprising attitudes and behaviors when it came to sex and women. Here are ten things you may not know about men who buy sex:

  1. On average, men reported were 21 years of age when they first bought sex.
  2.  25% of the sex buyers had traveled to another state and while there used women in prostitution.
  3.  41% of the sex buyers knowingly used a woman in prostitution who was controlled by a pimp.
  4. 66% of the sex buyers observed that a majority of women are lured, tricked or trafficked into prostitution.
  5. 74% of the sex buyers reported that they learned about sex from pornography.
  6. Sex buyers were more than 7x’s more likely than non-sex buyers to acknowledge that they would rape a woman if they could get away with it and if no one knew about it.
  7. Sex buyers are far more likely than non-sex buyers to commit felonies, misdemeanors, crimes related to violence against women, substance abuse-related crimes, assaults, crimes with weapons, and crimes against authority.
  8. 89% of sex buyers said they would be deterred from buying sex if their name were to be added to a sex offender registry.
  9. 90% of sex buyers said they would be deterred from buying sex if a $1,000-$2,000 penalty were imposed.
  10. 100% of sex buyers said they would be deterred from buying sex if a one month jail term were imposed.

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Trafficking & The Sex Trade

0001EL1 1. Estes, Richard J. and Neil A. Weiner. The Commercial Sexual Exploitation of Children in the U.S., Canada, and Mexico. The University of Pennsylvania School of Social Work: 2001 2. Estes, Richard J. and Neil A. Weiner. The Commercial Sexual Exploitation of Children in the U.S., Canada, and Mexico. The University of Pennsylvania School of Social Work: 2001. 3. Brown, Jane D., and Kelly L. L’Engle. “X-rated sexual attitudes and behaviors associated with US early adolescents’ exposure to sexually explicit media.” Communication Research 36.1 (2009): 129-151. 4. Debra Boyer, U. Washington, Susan Breault of the Paul & Lisa Program, “Danger for prostitutes increasing, most starting younger,” Beacon Journal, 21 September 1997 5. National Runaway Switchboard, August 2006 6. Shared Hope International 7. FBI, 2011

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SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 8th MEETING LOCATION CHANGE

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 8th MEETING LOCATION CHANGE:

This change affects only the Saturday morning meeting on February 8th.

Time: 10:00AM – 11:30AM
Location: Grace Fellowship United Methodist Church
Mansion, Room 301 (take the elevator to the 3rd floor!)
2655 South Mason Road
Katy, TX  77450
281.646.1903

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Kids Access Porn Sites at 6, Begin Flirting Online at 8

Posted on USA Today on May 14, 2013

SEATTLE — Kids start watching porn from as early as the age of 6, and begin flirting on the Internet from the age of 8, according to a survey of over 19,000 parents worldwide.

What’s more, kids are accessing instant messaging and computer games at a much younger age than just a few years ago. At the extreme, 3.45% of kids covered in the analysis used  Instant Messaging to chat with friends while 2% of computer game addicts were just 5 years old.

The study results were released exclusively to CyberTruth by Bitdefender.  The Bucharest-based antivirus vendor correlated results of an online survey of parents with data compiled from its parental control services, such as which sites parents choose to block, and which sites children access regularly.

Almost a quarter of the kids accounted for in the study had at least one social network account at age 12, while 17% were social media users at 10.

Bitdefender found that children lie about their age when creating social network profiles, especially on Facebook, where they are supposed to be least 13.

“Kids nowadays are acting like young adults online — just give them an Internet-connected device, and they will find a way to things parents would like to ban forever,” says Bitdefender Chief Security Strategist Catalin Cosoi.

Almost a quarter of the kids accounted for in the study had at least one social network account at age 12, while 17% were social media users at 10.

The survey found that gaming, hacking and so-called “hate” websites, where youngsters are free to use profanity and express disdain, are hot destinations for kids and teens.

“Kids lie about their age to get access to something they want to explore, in this case a social network,” says Jo Webber, CEO of Virtual Piggy, a website that enables kids to manage and spend money within a parent-controlled environment. “It’s no different than my generation lying about age to get cigarettes or into a bar.”

Webber points out that this generation of children were born into an Internet-centric society.

“The Internet is a huge system that houses good and bad,” Webber opines. “Parents need to stay involved with their children and be ready to explain things that their children may stumble upon.”

Child safety experts  call for parents to educate their offspring about how dangerous giving out personal information can be, and enforce usage rules.