Recovery Articles
Our Habits
One has to grow up with good talk in order to form the habit of it.
–Helen Hayes
Our habits, whatever they may be, were greatly influenced, if not wholly formed, during childhood. We learned our behavior through imitation – imitation of our parents, our siblings, and our peer group. But we need not be stuck in habits that are unhealthy. The choice to create new patterns of behavior is ours to make – every moment, every hour, every day. However, parting with the old pattern in order to make way for the new takes prayer, commitment, and determination.
All of us who share these Steps have broken away from old patterns. We have chosen to leave liquor, pills, and pornography alone. We may have chosen to leave unhealthy relationships. And we are daily choosing to move beyond our shortcomings. But not every day is a successful one. Our shortcomings have become ingrained. Years of pouting, or lying, or feeling fearful, or overeating, or procrastinating beckon to us; the habit invites itself.
We can find strength from the program and one another to let go of the behavior that stands in the way of today’s happiness. And we can find in one another a better, healthier behavior to imitate.
The program is helping me to know there is a better way, every day, to move ahead. I am growing up again amidst the good habits of others and myself.
Healing is a Process
Healing is a Process – NotUnknown.com Keith B.
Throughout my life I believed that healing was instantaneous. I thought that when God felt like it, He waved His magic wand and healed people. Like the miracles Jesus and the disciples and prophets did in the Bible. I thought healing was like when the woman touched the garment of Jesus and was immediately healed. Her bleeding stopped. That was healing to me. That is healing sometimes…only I thought that was the only way healing occurred. My belief or unbelief in any other way of healing limited my view of God and his sovereignty and purpose.
Because I believed healing was only immediate, I didn’t have room in my life or beliefs for any other type of healing. I believed God worked but I didn’t equate that to His divine plan for healing. So, I made an assumption, one that would impact the rest of my life. I assumed I wasn’t worthy of healing.
Unworthy of healing didn’t become my mantra. It became a barrier separating me and God. Prayers became pleas. Seeking a lasting relationship became imploring and bargaining with God to just step up this one time and I would forever follow Him daily. When He didn’t, when I didn’t see instantaneous miraculous healing, I didn’t see Him at work at all. No magical change meant no God at work.
My belief in God didn’t change. I knew He was real. Evidence of His creation surrounded me. Examples of Him at work escaped me. I missed Him in the every day. He was only miraculous to me. God became a one note musician. His symphony went on without me.
Because I didn’t see Him in the every day, there had to be a reason He didn’t perform those Biblical magical acts of transformation in my life. I prayed hard enough for change. Baptism didn’t do it. Bible study and church attendance didn’t either. The problem had to be me. My hidden sin, my litany of violations of His commands and of my vows to my wife and family, had to be too much to qualify for healing. I had done too much wrong.
The Bible doesn’t say that. It says things like “all have sinned and fall short” and “if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us.” There is no “except for Keith” in there that I can find.
My wife discovered that I had contacted a previous affair partner after I promised I was in recovery. She warned me if I had acted out with anyone else, especially a friend of hers, we were done and I should just leave. I fully disclosed my complete sexual history, including acting out with that friend of hers, seven weeks later. I expected her to keep her promise and leave. She didn’t.
Our marriage continues to grow and heal gradually, not in the way I believed the only way for healing to occur. Healing for us and our marriage progresses slowly, a day at a time. My friend Corey told me that I didn’t see God at work in the small stuff, the daily stuff. He spoke truth. God works in all the stuff, big and small. In my life, in this moment, healing is a process.
The Man by the Pool
His work: Since the man by the pool was an invalid, he may have made his living by begging. His character: His role in the story seems almost entirely passive, perhaps in keeping with his character. He showed evidence neither of faith nor gratitude after the miracle of his healing and even went so far as to give evidence against Jesus to men who were hostile toward Jesus. Sin appears to have played a role in his condition. His sorrow: To have been paralyzed for nearly forty years. His triumph: To have been instantly healed. Key Scriptures: John 5
A Look at the Man
“Do you want to be healed?”
It was an outrageous question to ask a man who had been paralyzed for thirty-eight years, a man forced to beg for a living.
But there was a reason for the question. Perhaps, in fact, the paralyzed man wasn’t happy about the prospect of being healed. Maybe his disability offered a certain kind of security, enabling him at least to make a living as a beggar. His sudden cure would have undermined his many dependencies, his familiar routine, his ingrained view of himself. He would have had to start life all over again.
Or maybe he was offended by Jesus’ warning against sin. Perhaps he thought it would do Jesus good to receive his comeuppance at the hands of the religious leaders.
The story of the man by the pool reminds us that displays of God’s power are not enough to create faith in a person’s heart. Though the man had suffered for many years, he showed no evidence of gratitude and no evidence of belief. We expect him to fall on his knees when he is miraculously healed. But he doesn’t. We expect him to show some kind of curiosity about the person who healed him. But he doesn’t even ask Jesus his name until their second encounter. We expect him to protect Jesus against his detractors, to be scandalized by their blindness and self-righteousness. Instead, he reports Jesus to men he knew to be hostile toward Jesus.
In Matthew’s gospel, Jesus denounces the cities that had witnessed most of his miracles, because the vast majority of people there had failed to repent (Matthew 11:20). His words remind us that, even though miracles are evidence of God’s power and compassion, without faith we are still free to reject them, still free to conclude that his offer of mercy is irrelevant or unnecessary.
Though none of us know what went on in the heart of the man who was healed, we are troubled by the way he responded and the way he failed to respond to the miracle he experienced. We may even wonder if by his own choice he finally succeeded in placing himself beyond the reach of God’s mercy. Only God knows.
Reflect On: Psalm 86:1–8 Praise God: For his grace, mercy, and the faith to believe. Offer Thanks: For the blessings of healing and wholeness. Confess: Any tendency you may have to blame others rather than to admit your own sinfulness and receive Christ’s pardon. Ask God: To give you courage to stand, face those crippling hurts, and live with freedom and hope.
Today’s reading is a brief excerpt from Men of the Bible: A One-Year Devotional Study of Men in Scripture by Ann Spangler and Robert Wolgemuth (Zondervan). © 2010 by Ann Spangler. Used with permission. All rights reserved. Enjoy the complete book by purchasing your own copy at the Bible Gateway Store. The book’s title must be included when sharing the above content on social media.
LAST DAY TO REGISTER! – Castimonia’s Paratus Retreat 2017
CASTIMONIA’S PARATUS MEN’S RETREAT 2017
Today is the LAST DAY to register for the retreat! If you want to brotherhood with other men and learn more about tools for your recovery like protecting your family online, then you should register for this retreat.
Retreat Scholarships are available!
Also, as an added incentive, our ministry founder will be signing up men without sponsors to start an 18-month journey through the 12 Steps on Saturday mornings before the 10am meeting. Sign up FIRST at this retreat!
https://www.eventbrite.com/e/castimonias-paratus-mens-retreat-2017-tickets-36664868609
Here is some information on the retreat. I pray that the Lord uses this retreat to help men in their sexual purity journey. The link to register for the retreat will be available later this Summer.
Friday, November 3rd – Sunday, November 5th
Castimonia’s Paratus Retreat is a retreat for any man who struggles with any type of sexual purity. Paratus is Latin for equipped.
If you are wondering about whether to attend this retreat, ask yourself these questions:
- Are you fully equipped for the spiritual battle that is raging around us right now?
- Are you a man who strives for biblical sexual purity?
- Are you a man who struggles with maintaining that sexual purity?
- Do you want a circle of brothers helping you in your sexual purity journey?
Join us for a weekend dedicated to equipping adult men of all ages, all walks of life, and various levels of struggle with the tools necessary to wage this spiritual battle and emerge on the other side as the sexually pure men that God intended us to be.
At the retreat, we will discuss strategies for equipping ourselves with tactics necessary for battling the enemy. We will discover the true meaning of brotherhood and fellowship. The leaders of the retreat will set the example of vulnerability and accountability. We hope to pave the way for all men to be fully equipped to wage war against Satan’s tempting assaults and emerge VICTORIOUS.
https://www.eventbrite.com/e/castimonias-paratus-mens-retreat-2017-tickets-36664868609
Regular Registration October 1st – November 1st – $200

