CASTIMONIA

Sexual Purity Support & Recovery Group

Sexual Purity Posts

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Video – Somebody’s Daughter

I first saw this video during my 3-day intensive.  It was emotionally moving.  However, it wasn’t until I played this video to my Castimonia Saturday morning meeting group in February that I was completely overwrought with emotions concerning the theme that these women, in pornography, prostitution, strip clubs, etc… are somebody’s daughter.  As a father of two beautiful young girls, I can relate 100%, and use that to my advantage and my sobriety.  Don’t let the enemy lie to you and tell you that the woman in the pornographic scene you are watching or the woman dancing in a strip club, or even waitressing in a skimpy sports bar outfit is not real or wants to do this for a living.  Always remember that she is somebody’s daughter, maybe even your own!

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It’s Funny Because It’s True!

It’s Funny Because It’s True!

I saw this comical photo floating around the internet a while back.  To be honest, I did not see the Saturday Night Live skit in which this photo was taken, so I don’t know the context.  What I found funny, was the caption that went along with the photo.

In here we see a man willing to admit to murder rather than have his internet search history made public.  How many of us, at whatever the cost, wanted to hide our internet activity?  I know I have.  When I was in my addiction, I made certain of “cleaning my tracks” so that nobody would know what sites I had visited.  I was too ashamed of my internet activity to have anyone find out about it and too ashamed to find help for these behaviors, amongst others.

When is enough going to be enough?  When are you going to seek real help for a sexual purity problem that has been plaguing you for perhaps most of your life and that keeps manifesting itself in different ways over the course of your life?  Perhaps it began with lustful thoughts and fantasies, then compulsion over those lustful thoughts and fantasies and then moved onto masturbation, and then onto pornography, and then onto having multiple sex partners; all to try to fill some void in your life that in all honesty, only God can fill.  I’ve seen it happen in my life and don’t want it to happen to anyone else.

Perhaps you are the guy that “only” struggles with viewing pornography, with or without masturbation.  Maybe you think, it is “ok” to do this since you aren’t having affairs or have multiple sex partners.  But if I were to compare your brain scan to that of a man that sexually acts out with multiple sex partners, guess what?  Not much difference!  Stop the insanity; seek real help for a real problem!  Stop hiding behind self-help books and the insane thought of “My God and I can handle anything alone” and start getting into a support or recovery group.  You cannot handle this all by yourself, no matter how many lies you believe from the enemy!

You are not alone in your struggle; it’s about time you finally said enough is enough.  I, for one, am thankful that I no longer have to erase my internet history or feel guilt or shame about the sites I visit.  I no longer have to worry about my wife getting on the internet and “stumbling” on something inappropriate I viewed.  I especially don’t have to worry about my daughters seeing something inappropriate their daddy saw the night before!  How horrible would that be if I inadvertently passed on my sexual addiction to my daughters because of the pornography I watched the night before and now they found it by accident?  Although, I had no intention to harm them, my activity on the internet has already harmed them and my wife!

And wives, If you don’t have proper internet filters installed,  I want you, today, to go into your internet history and look at everything that has been viewed in the past couple of weeks.  You might need to search via multiple browsers installed on your home computer, maybe some installed by secret.  And if the internet history has been erased on any of these browsers, then it’s time to have a frank and open discussion about installing filters and what is and is not appropriate to bring into your home!  If you are not technically savvy, you can e-mail Castimonia and we can help walk you through on how to do a proper and thorough search.

I once heard a great prayer at a Castimonia meeting, “My prayer is that every man is thrown in to recovery by discovery by their wives.”  Sometimes, it is the only way we will be willing to seek help.  Hitting rock bottom is terrible, but I am thankful that rock bottom is what it took to get me into recovery and acknowledge that I have a problem and that I need help!  Recovery with Jesus Christ is such a beautiful place to live.

Take what you like and leave the rest.

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Video – John’s Story, Part 2

John discusses his denial, losing his marriage, hitting rock bottom, and entering recovery.  He talks about attending his first recovery meeting and what recovery has done for him and his life.

“I’m at the bottom, I’ll do anything.  And she suggested I go to a meeting.” – John; speaking about the advice his knowledgable therapist gave him about his sexual addiction and getting help.

Please visit http://www.addiction2recovery.com for more videos and information.

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The Faces of Sexual Addiction – Monday Night Meeting Topic 07/30/2012

The mug shots below are of members of society that were arrested or tried this month (July) for their sexual crimes.  Not all of these people are “sex addicts” but I believe there is some sort of disorder within these people to have them commit these crimes against others.

I am not posting these mugshots to punish these men and women; their punishment is already coming at the hands of the courts and our legal system.  I post these images so that everyone can see that these men and women look like anyone else in our community; our teachers, coaches, fathers, mothers, pastors, police officers, etc…  The addiction has no boundaries, it affects anyone and everyone.  My sponsor once made a joke about attending his first recovery meeting, stating that he was expecting to walk into a room of a bunch of men wearing fedoras and long overcoats as is the typical stereotype of “flashers” or “sex addicts” in our American society.  This may be true in some cases, but a large majority of sexual addicts are just everyday people, like you or me.

You should be able to hover over the pictures and see a description of their crime.

The above men and women entered into what is considered Level 2 and Level 3 sexual addiction.  The reality of the addiction is that if you took a brain scan of a sex addict acting out with Level 1 behaviors versus the above, the scans would be nearly identical.  That is to say, there is very little difference to the human brain, the high one gets from acting out with masturbation and pornography and those acting out with level 2 and 3 sex crimes.  Level 1 includes sexual activity “socially acceptable” by society; masturbation, viewing pornography, visiting strip clubs, prostitution, etc…  Levels 2 & 3 include sexual activities that are not socially acceptable and in some cases, morally offensive as in the case of Jerry Sandusky and a few others shown above.  To learn more about the three levels of sexual addiction, please read Chapter 2: The Levels of Addiction in Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction by Patrick Carnes, Ph.D.

All the above are representations of “The Empty Chair” that sits in the middle of our recovery meeting circle.  The empty chair represents those members that have left the sexual addiction recovery program in search of their true bottom, those that are suffering the consequences of their addiction in prison, and those whose disease drove them to take their own life.

May God grant these people serenity.

Take what you like and leave the rest.

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Video – John’s Story, Part 1

John talks about his sexual addiction, how it began, and how it affected his life.  He also does a great job describing his dysfunctional family of origin.

“It was like someone lit a bomb and threw it in my life, I was totally absorbed by it, totally sensantionalized by it and it just mushroomed my sexual addiction…” – John; speaking about the first time he discovered his father’s pornography.

Please visit http://www.addiction2recovery.com for more videos and information.