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suicide

July 18, 2020 By Castimonia

Suicide Be Damned To Hell

by Rob Weddle

Originally posted at: http://brokenpeople.blog/2019/10/31/suicide-be-damned-to-hell/

While Christians argue over whether Halloween is evil or if Kanye has ulterior motives, people are dying. While we bicker over music and movie choices, some are hanging themselves in the garage or the closet. As we waste our time trying to convince someone our personal convictions should be THEIR gospel, others are stealing their mom’s pain pills to overdose or shooting themselves with their dad’s pistol.

Here are just a few of the many suicide messages I found online, from the broken, disenfranchised and hurting. Some of these were literal suicide notes from people who passed, and others are from people who lived to fight another day…so far:

Suicidal Msgs 1
Suicidal Msgs 2
Suicidal Msgs 3
Suicidal Msgs 4

It’s easy for us to say “reach out!” and “call a suicide hotline!” but as another blogger wrote, “The worst part is feeling paralyzed in the pain…everyone always says to reach out, but sometimes it just feels like if I talk about how lost I am, the very last thing holding me together will fall apart and I can’t make myself take that leap…even for help, because I’m just too afraid I’ll fall short of the other side. And when I fall short, I die.

“I can’t see a safety net at the bottom of that abyss. I can’t trust it’s there. If I can’t see it…I can’t move. To reach out…you  have to move.”

When I tried to kill myself, I wasn’t thinking “suicide note.” I wasn’t thinking of all the ones I’d leave behind. I wasn’t thinking “reach out for help.” I wasn’t thinking of suicide hotlines. Heck, I wasn’t even thinking “death.”

I was merely thinking, “Make the pain stop.”

a fb1

So, if this is you, if you’re out there, afraid to move, afraid to breathe, afraid to tell someone, for fear that even MOVING will push you over the edge, I’d like to encourage you by saying YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

Hang on, please. As a Christian, it’s easy for me to say “read the Bible,” “Jesus loves you,” “talk to a preacher or counselor,” and “I’ll be praying for you,” but as a suicide survivor, I know those are empty gestures.  Let me assure that it DOES get better.

This doesn’t have to destroy you. Please, don’t give up.

Please. 

I love ya. I really do, because I AM you. The only reason I’m a Christian today is because Jesus is the ONLY light I’ve ever found in a very, VERY dark world.

As I’ve stated in a previous blog, I’ve always been a rebel, and now I rebel against the darkness which tries to suffocate the souls of humankind. If I hadn’t found the LIGHT, I would simply let you get swallowed up in your darkness.

But this is not the case. Please, just don’t give up. Not today.

Someday, suicide, depression, shaming, bullying, anxiety and the like will be damned to Hell forever. I live for that day. But for NOW, we keep fighting.

Blessings. I’ll talk to you soon.

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: castimonia, porn, porn addiction, Sex, sex addiction, sexual, suicide

December 22, 2017 By Castimonia

Why Should I Not Commit Suicide?

Originally posted at: https://altruistico.wordpress.com/2016/05/01/why-should-i-not-commit-suicide-2/

by altruistico

Our hearts go out to those who have thoughts of ending their own lives through suicide. If that is you right now, it may speak of many emotions, such as feelings of hopelessness and despair. You may feel like you are in the deepest pit, and you doubt there is any hope of things getting better. No one seems to care or understand where you are coming from. Life just is not worth living…or is it?

If you will take a few moments to consider letting God truly be God in your life right now, He will prove how big He really is, “for nothing is impossible with God” (Luke 1:37). Perhaps scars from past hurts have resulted in an overwhelming sense of rejection or abandonment. That may lead to self-pity, anger, bitterness, vengeful thoughts, or unhealthy fears that have caused problems in some of your most important relationships.

Why should you not commit suicide? Friend, no matter how bad things are in your life, there is a God of love who is waiting for you to let Him guide you through your tunnel of despair and out into His marvelous light. He is your sure hope. His name is Jesus.

This Jesus, the sinless Son of God, identifies with you in your time of rejection and humiliation. The prophet Isaiah wrote of Him in Isaiah 53:2-6, describing Him as a man who was “despised and rejected” by everyone. His life was full of sorrow and suffering. But the sorrows He bore were not His own; they were ours. He was pierced, wounded, and crushed, all because of our sin. Because of His suffering, our lives can be redeemed and made whole.

Friend, Jesus Christ endured all this so that you might have all your sins forgiven. Whatever weight of guilt you carry, know that He will forgive you if you humbly receive Him as your Savior. “…Call upon me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you…” (Psalm 50:15). Nothing you have ever done is too bad for Jesus to forgive. Some of His choicest servants committed gross sins like murder (Moses), murder and adultery (King David), and physical and emotional abuse (the apostle Paul). Yet they found forgiveness and a new abundant life in the Lord. “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!” (2 Corinthians 5:17).

Why should you not commit suicide? Friend, God stands ready to repair what is “broken,” namely, the life you have now, the life you want to end by suicide. In Isaiah 61:1-3, the prophet wrote, “The LORD has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor…to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve…to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.”

Come to Jesus, and let Him restore your joy and usefulness as you trust Him to begin a new work in your life. He promises to restore the joy you have lost and give you a new spirit to sustain you. Your broken heart is precious to Him: “The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise” (Psalm 51:12, 15-17).

Will you accept the Lord as your Savior and Shepherd? He will guide your thoughts and steps—one day at a time—through His Word, the Bible. “I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you” (Psalm 32:8). “He will be the sure foundation for your times, a rich store of salvation and wisdom and knowledge; the fear of the LORD is the key to this treasure” (Isaiah 33:6). In Christ, you will still have struggles, but you will now have hope. He is “a friend who sticks closer than a brother” (Proverbs 18:24). May the grace of the Lord Jesus be with you in your hour of decision.

If you desire to trust Jesus Christ as your Savior, speak these words in your heart to God: “God, I need you in my life. Please forgive me for all that I have done. I place my faith in Jesus Christ and believe that He is my Savior. Please cleanse me, heal me, and restore my joy in life. Thank You for Your love for me and for Jesus’ death on my behalf.”

If you are considering suicide, please seek help now. Call 1-800-273-8255, the national hotline, get yourself to a hospital if you can, call 911, go alert someone in your home, apartment, or workplace, or wherever you are, and do whatever it takes to get help.

National Hopeline Network: 1-800-SUICIDE
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK
To Write Love on Her Arms: http://twloha.com/find-help
Befrienders.org: http://www.befrienders.org/directory
Suicide hotlines available in most countries:

http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, Affairs, alcoholic, anonymous sex partners, castimonia, Character Defects, christian, co-dependency, Emotions, escorts, father wound, gratification, healing, Intimacy, lust, masturbation, porn, pornography, pornstar, pornstars, prostitutes, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sex partners, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, spouses, strippers, suicide, trauma

January 22, 2014 By Castimonia

Sexual Addiction Kills

originally posted: http://blog.lifemoreabundant.net/2013/05/06/sexual-addiction-kills/

cemeteryWe are well aware of the dangers of SOME addictions. It is reported that nearly 12,000 people died in alcohol related traffic deaths: 33,000 in drug overdoses and over 440,000 in smoking related deaths in the U.S. in 2009 alone. The risks are obvious. We get it.

But what about sexual addiction? It’s different . . . isn’t it? How could THIS addiction kill anyone?

Although it may sound melodramatic, sexual addiction is no less damaging to a person than a cancerous tumor or a bad heart. The disease of addiction will ultimately cost you your life, whether literally or by simply commandeering your every waking moment. Experts tell us that 71% of sexual addicts have reported considering suicide as the only hope for getting out of their addictive cycle . . . and sadly, some do eventually go through with it. Many more addicts risk life-threatening disease through affairs, prostitutes and other risky behavior.

But, even those who manage to stay alive physically, are not in the clear. It may not happen today . . . or tomorrow . . . but give enough time, sexual addiction WILL suck the life out of you and ruin your relationships, reputation and maybe even your career in the process. Left unchecked, what started out as intriguing and exciting diversion will eventually turn destructive. Those that have experienced it say that actual death would have most certainly been easier than the aching loneliness and agonizing numbness that little by little replaced what remained of their lives.

God offers us LIFE . . . ALL of us. It’s not too late for you. Reach out to God and others. No matter how far you’ve gone down the wrong road, there are people and a loving God out there that can help you find your way back.

“This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the Lord your God, listen to his voice and hold fast to him.” — Deuteronomy 30:19-20

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, affair, Affairs, anonymous sex partners, call girls, castimonia, christian, escorts, gratification, healing, human trafficking, Intimacy, Jesus Christ, lust, masturbation, porn, pornography, pornstar, prostitute, prostitutes, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sex partners, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, spouses, strippers, suicide, trauma

July 14, 2013 By Castimonia

Saturday Morning Meeting Topic – 7/13: Silent is Never Golden When it Comes to Sexual Addiction

In this Saturday’s meeting we were blessed to hear the letter written below by Keith to his now deceased younger brother. I warn group members to be mindful of heir emotions and any emotional triggers they may experience after reading this letter.

By Keith D.

This is hard to write given the circumstances.  However, I need to write if only for myself.  I hope others who are struggling with sexual addiction and who are thinking that taking one’s own life is the only option dealing with sexual addiction.

You were nine years old and in fourth grade and I was a freshman in college when the family moved to Texas.  I don’t remember a lot about you growing up except you riding your plastic snoopy and being in cub scouts as I was busy playing sports and working.

I go to meetings where there is an empty chair in the middle of the room and we talk about “our problem”.  Up until this time, the chair has been nameless and faceless to me.  However, now this particular chair does have a new name and face.  His name is Steve.  He was a father, a brother, and good friend to many.  He had an infectious smile and laugh to go along with it.

Hearing of your death came to me as a total surprise.  I started asking questions like “why” and “how come?”  I knew there were a lot of questions that there were not answers for.  I often wondered over the years if the same terrible things happened to you as a child as they did me, that is, if our neighbor sexually abused you too.  I felt we were never close enough that you would answer me honestly so I did not ask.  From the outcome of your life (i.e. being registered as a sex offender) I can only assume so.

When it comes to sexual addiction, silence is never golden!  This disease thrives in secrecy.  The only way to overcome it is to expose it and take responsibility for one’s actions, to ask God to shed His light in every dark area, and confessing your sins and weaknesses to others so you may be healed!  Pride, shame and condemnation empower this disease and has kept you in shackles for years.  It is only through humility and the Power of Jesus Christ that breaks these chains and sets one free.  For who the Lord has set free is free indeed!  I have found this freedom and wish you were here to tell you about it.

I need to ask for your forgiveness because I was not courageous enough to stand up against evil.  I did not stand up against the evil and sick things our neighbor did to me and what he may have done to you as well.  We lived in a small town and my classmates were already calling a homosexual because of my deep friendship with another male classmate.  That does not excuse my actions.  Please forgive me for being silent.  I wanted to speak up but I just couldn’t muster the courage.

The bible talks a lot about relationships. It says that “friends love at all times, but brothers were born for adversity”.  This scripture has taken on a new meaning for me.  We were born in the same family and born for adversity.  However, we never lived in the potential and relationship that God has called us.

Secondly, it says that a three-strand cord is not easily broken.  We did not have deep conversations about the Lord until just three years ago at our niece’s high school graduation.  It was the first time we talked about things that mattered in life.  And after mom had passed just a few weeks later, it was you that rose up and said not to let our relationships go by the wayside.  I was proud of you for rising up.  That is what I should have been done as an older brother, protecting and looking after my siblings as our parents have passed. 

I also know that no man lives and dies to himself.  That in both your life and death you impacted so many people.  You enjoyed life no matter what the circumstances or so it seemed as it could be seen in your smile and laugh.  If only you could have seen all the people that filled the room and all the tears that were shed.  Although you were divorced, she still called you her husband and buried you wearing your wedding band.

I wish you could have seen how hard your sixteen year old son cried after the funeral.  I cried for him knowing that this was a path you chose.  It is not the only path though however.  I found a Gentle Path and something called “Rigorous Honesty” for people like us that can help us with “our problem” and bring us back to sanity.  I wish you could have heard the anger in your boss when he spoke at your funeral as he was the one who found your limp body hanging in the air.  I have found one the only one who needed to be hung once for all, the one who died for our sins and the one who died to set us free!

There are two paths one with this sickness and disease can take.  One path leads to death, confusion, heartache and a lot of questions.  This path offers a permanent solution to a temporary problem and situation. 

As I looked at your face, I can tell you are finally now at peace.  You are no longer being tormented by the demons of addictions in your life.  However, there is peace along the other path too despite of one’s circumstances.   It is the path where you find Jesus and can share His love and compassion with others who are struggling with the same issues.  He has told us that there will be many trials and tribulations, but we can have peace in spite of our circumstances.  In fact, we can rejoice because those who truly find Him find true peace as He has already won the battle over sin and death.

The other path, although may seem insurmountable and very difficult at times, is a path you take with others.  There may be many tears on this path, but at the end this path leads to life and the crown of life as those who choose this path are over-comers by the word of our testimony and the blood of the Lamb.  I wish you were here for me to tell you of this path.

I do not know why or how we chose the paths we did.  It could have very easily been me lying there in that room.  I do know that it is only by the grace and mercy of God himself that it was not. 

When I attend the meetings from this point on, the empty chair is no longer empty.  I wish that it still was.  However, my voice will no longer be silent.  Forgive me for being silent.  Your death will not be in vain.  Silence is never golden when it comes to sexual addiction!

Filed Under: Saturday Morning Meeting Topics, Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, affair, Affairs, anonymous sex partners, call girls, castimonia, christian, empty chair, escorts, father wound, gratification, human trafficking, Intimacy, Jesus Christ, lust, masturbation, meeting, porn, porn star, pornography, pornstar, pornstars, prostitute, prostitutes, ptsd, purity, recovery, resentment, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sex partners, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, spouses, STD, strippers, suicide, trauma

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This site is intended for individuals who struggle with maintaining sexual purity. This information is posted for individuals at various stages in their recovery, year 1 to year 30+; what applies to some, may not apply others. Spouses are encouraged to read this blog with the caveat that they may not agree with, understand, or know the reason for some items posted. As always, take what you like and leave the rest.

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