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Sexual Purity Support & Recovery Group

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July 27, 2013 By Castimonia

What’s Wrong With Anthony Weiner?

New allegations have emerged the New York City mayoral hopeful may have once again exchanged sexually graphic texts and photos. Does he have a sex addiction?
 By Jessica Firger, Everyday Health Staff Writer
whats-wrong-with-anthony-weiner-RM-articleTUESDAY, July 23, 2013 — New York City mayoral candidate and disgraced former congressman Anthony Weiner is once again in the spotlight for an online sex scandal. In a press conference today, Weiner admitted he’d exchanged text messages and photos of a sexual nature with a woman last year. Weiner allegedly involved himself in these exchanges just months after he was forced to resign from Congress in 2011 after naked photos of him were leaked from women he’d contacted through Twitter’s private messaging system.The Dirty, a gossip website, reported today that Weiner had struck up a relationship with a 22-year-old woman through Facebook, and under a pseudonym, exchanged emails, explicit photos, and had phone sex for at least six months. In one exchange with the woman, Weiner asks her which of his photos or television appearances she liked best. The woman replies, “Specifically, your health care rants were a huge turn on.”

After the first sex scandal, Weiner retreated from public life, purportedly to do a little soul-searching and repair his marriage with Huma Abedin, an aide to former secretary of state Hilary Clinton. Some critics now wonder if Weiner may have spent too much time on Sunday crossword puzzles and not enough working through what some contend may be a serious sex addiction.

But Rory Reid, PhD, assistant professor and research psychologist in the UCLA department of psychology, and an expert on sex addiction, isn’t convinced the reports of Internet sexual exchanges indicates that Weiner necessarily has a problem. Today, a study released by UCLA reported that self-proclaimed sex addicts may simply have a higher sex drive.

“Anthony Weiner’s behavior is not uncommon among Americans,” said Dr. Reid. “Speculation about whether he has a ‘sexual addiction’ cannot be determined given what we know from his public comments and other information in the media. There are many people who engage in online sexual behavior with people outside their monogamous committed relationships,  and this alone, is insufficient to warrant labels such as ‘sex addiction’ or concluding Mr. Weiner has a ‘hypersexual disorder.’”
In fact, many experts don’t believe sex addiction — also known as hypersexuality — is a legitimate psychiatric condition, and the diagnosis is controversial. Last year, the American Psychiatric Association reported they were assessing the criteria for hypersexuality for possible inclusion in the fifth revised and updated edition of the  Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), the guide used by psychiatrists and psychologists worldwide to diagnose patients. But when final revisions were announced, hypersexuality hadn’t made the list.
George Collins, a former sex addict who founded Compulsion Solutions to help sex addicts, has a different opinion than Reid.
“A problem of this magnitude, where you’re showing your own penis on the Internet, isn’t going away on it’s own,” said Collins, who is the author of Breaking the Cycle: Free Yourself from Sex Addiction, Porn Addiction, and Shame. Collins speculates Weiner was not sufficiently treated for his sexual issues, or did not seek the right type of therapy to address deep-seated problems.

“It’s a coping mechanism,” Collins believes. “He’s an exhibitionist, he needs to be seen. Something happened in his young life where he was undervalued.”

The compulsive desire to view pornography, seek out strangers to have sex with, or engage in frequent exchanges of a sexual nature with strangers must be properly addressed by mental health professionals, according to Collins. In his practice, he uses cognitive behavioral therapy and psychosynthesis, also known as dialogue therapy, which helps clients develop coping skills to use when they find themselves close to trouble.

“Anthony is the best therapist he could find,” said Collins. “He just has to harness the ability to do his own therapy. He would have to write these silly stupid dialogues to his penis, and ask ‘Why is it that you would need to be showing yourself to a woman on the Internet?’ People live and die with this stuff.”

Photo Credit: Kathy Willen/AP Photo

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, affair, Affairs, anonymous sex partners, call girls, castimonia, christian, escorts, gratification, healing, human trafficking, Intimacy, Jesus Christ, lust, masturbation, porn, porn star, pornography, pornstar, pornstars, prostitute, ptsd, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sex partners, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, spouses, STD, strippers, trauma

July 26, 2013 By Castimonia

Castimonia Friday Lunch Telemeeting

Beginning today at 12 noon CST, we are starting a fifth weekly Castimonia meeting!  The meeting will be a telephone call-in meeting (also referred to as a “Telemeeting”) and will be held weekly every Friday at noon (central standard time).  At this time, this Telemeeting is only for men who struggle with any type of sexual impurity.  A co-ed meeting might be formed in the future for both men and women who struggle with sexual purity.

I look forward to hearing from you this Friday!

Friday Lunch Telemeeting Time: 12:00PM – 1:00PM (CST)
Location: Telemeeting Call In Center Call In
Phone Number: 424-203-8405 (US Residents)
Access code: 407885
Click here for International Dial-In Numbers

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Filed Under: General Meeting Information Tagged With: addiction, castimonia, christian, escorts, gratification, healing, Intimacy, Jesus Christ, lust, masturbation, meeting, porn, pornography, prostitute, ptsd, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sex partners, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, STD, strippers, trauma

July 25, 2013 By Castimonia

I Cannot Live Without Her

I Cannot Live Without Her
November 4, 2012
Originally posted by a partner of a sex addict

When I first met her, it was love at first sight.  She was perfect. She is perfect. She has beautiful green eyes,  smooth skin as silky as sateen, her body is as natural as the sun. Sometimes, she awakes me with sexy red hair, slightly covering her breasts.  She always wears a smile, her eyes looking directly at mine, teasing me, kneeling on her knees, holding another man’s genitals, whispering that she would do the same – to me. I dream of her, my eyes closed, my hands on myself, the earth moves rhythmically  like a wave until it shakes. It feels good. Very good.

I cannot live without her.

I find myself thinking of her every moment of forever, and I cannot have enough of her. Her presence hypnotizes me at the office. I imagine her coming in for an interview. A white button down with only a slight trace of a nude bra. A black pencil skirt leaving the rest to imagination. A pair of blue eyes with straight black hair as fair as a mane. “Sir,” she said, “I need this job and I am willing to do anything for it” – with a playful display of seduction and a juxtaposition tone of innocence. “Tell me about yourself,” I asked, slowly unbuttoning her shirt while showing her power over me by pressing my hips against hers.

I cannot live without her.

In the evening, she makes me wild. Willing to please and open-minded, she allows me to experiment with anything I could possibly imagine, and it is this sense of freedom without any judgment that I adore.  Sometimes, she shows up at my home fully clothed, throwing pieces of her clothing on the floor like a carefree boy, tearing me apart as if I were her worst enemy. Then, we have sex, like a machine. Sometimes, she shows up at the hotel in only a robe, showers with soapy foam like the movies, thirsts for me as if I were the sweetest in the world – even if she is tied up in ropes like an injured worm.

I cannot live without her.

She is my best friend, my comforter, my everything.  She is always there, whether I am single or in a relationship, whether I am happy or in pain, whether I have a webcam or not. She always looks at me with those eyes, those kind, accepting eyes from where I find respect, adoration and love, those tender yet powerful eyes that take me to a place of warmth, where all pain goes away, where nothing matters – except she and I and happily ever after.

I cannot live without her.

Soon, nothing else matters, all I want is her.  She is everything I have ever wanted.  I don’t understand why others can’t see things my way.  She is perfect in every way, she satisfies all of my needs, yet my friends, my family don’t understand, they detach from me causing me great pain and feelings of abandonment.  But she is there, she will not abandon me, will she?

I cannot live without her.

In time, other than her, I am alone.  I don’t have time for work, I don’t have time for family, I don’t have time for friends.  All I have time for is her inside the vacuum we have created.  Her beautiful blonde hair and gorgeous blue eyes mesmerize me, I cannot look away, she is everything to me.  Nobody understands, if they did, they would not have distanced themselves from me.

I cannot live without her.

I have lost my job, my income, my family, my friends, but I haven’t lost her.  She is still with me, she loves me, she wants me, she needs me.  I lust after her more and more.  I see less and less of her, but I can always close my eyes and imagine the dark black hair, soft brown eyes, and soft white skin.  She looks at me and I melt.  I must see her, I have to see her, and I will see her.  Maybe I can see her at someone else’s place?  Maybe I can sneak in, just to meet her.  Maybe I can just break into that house, she is there, waiting.  After all, our love is worth the crime is it not?  Our love is worth even murdering those that stand in our way!

I cannot live without her.

And now I sit alone, in this cell, like an animal.  It was an accident, I didn’t mean to kill the owner of the house, I only wanted to see my love.  What happened to me?  What happened to her?  She is gone, I cannot not find her, it has been years since I saw her.  I am so alone, I feel like dying.  The promises she spoke to me were all empty, they meant nothing.  I gave up everything for her, my wife, my children, my friends, my job, my health, my sanity and there is nothing left of me than an empty shell.  She is not there like she promised she would be, she is not taking the pain away any longer.

God, I need help….

I read this post (later modified by me) originally posted by a former partner of a sex addict who was consumed with pornography and sexually acting out that he destroyed the relationship; she finally left him.  This is an example of the denial that all sex addicts experience in their addiction and how they see pornography or pornstars, even at a subconscious level.  To them, pornography is a great fantasy to where they can escape – the actress, their wife, girlfriend, partner who falsely promises to satisfy all of their needs and protect them from the pain and hurts of life.  An “security blanket” which is wrapped around their necks, slowly strangling them until they die.

The next few posts on Castimonia will focus on former female pornstars that have come forward to burst the fantasy bubble and expose the harsh reality of the pornography industry. 

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, affair, Affairs, anonymous sex partners, call girls, castimonia, christian, escorts, father wound, gratification, healing, human trafficking, Intimacy, lust, masturbation, porn, porn star, pornography, pornstar, pornstars, prostitute, prostitutes, ptsd, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sex partners, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, spouses, STD, strippers, trauma

July 22, 2013 By Castimonia

Video: 10 Seconds – A Story About the Demand of Human Trafficking

Gilbert Horn is a successful business and family man with a deep dark secret. His obsession leads him to lie to those around him, betray his wife and enslave innocent girls. As he struggles with temptation, he is desperate for intervention to save him from self-destructing. 10 Seconds is a story of a sex addict and a sex slave.

10 Second Movie

ABOUT THE FILM

Bella Veritas Productions is proud to present 10 Seconds, a short independent film that draws attention to the demand for human trafficking and how sex addiction adds fuel to a growing fire.  Producers Elena Dering and David Perry began working to raise awareness about Human Trafficking in Nashville, TN in 2005. As their cultural conscience was awakened, they realized how few stories and films there were from the standpoint of the consumer. Later, Dering and Perry joined forces with Matthew Rampulla and Aaron Horn, who were also very passionate about the issue of human trafficking—10 Seconds is a product of this collaboration.

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts, Videos Tagged With: addiction, affair, Affairs, anonymous sex partners, call girls, castimonia, christian, escorts, gratification, healing, human trafficking, Intimacy, lust, masturbation, porn, porn star, pornography, pornstar, pornstars, prostitute, prostitutes, ptsd, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sex partners, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, STD, strippers, trafficking

July 19, 2013 By Castimonia

God Has a Plan For Me!

My oldest daughter drew this portrait (of my wife) last year.  Even though it is a horrible depection of my beautiful wife, it is so precious to me and a reminder that God has a plan for me – a life full of recovery from sexual addiction.

My life in the addiction and my recovery may seem “ugly” to outsiders, but to me, it is such a precious gift, one that I don’t ever want to let go or throw away.  God has given me the vision to turn the ugliness of my addiction into the beauty of recovery.  One of the beauties is the relationship I now have with God.  In my addiction, I was completely lost, but now I am found.  It wasn’t pretty, but God cleaned me up pretty well.  Another one of these beauties is my relationship with my wife and daugthers.  Before entering recovery, I had very little to do with my wife and child (one at the time).  Now, they are so important to me, I don’t ever want to spend another day in the addiction and away from them.   Finally, one other beautiful thing is the Castimonia Men’s Sexual Purity Support & Recovery group God started through me in 2010.  It is amazing to see how such much hope and recovery could come from so much addiction and ugliness.  Especially in the early days, I just had to keep reminding myself that no matter how ugly things got in that first year of recovery, that God has a plan for me.

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, affair, Affairs, anonymous sex partners, call girls, castimonia, christian, escorts, gratification, healing, human trafficking, lust, masturbation, meeting, porn, porn star, pornography, pornstar, pornstars, prostitute, prostitutes, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex partners, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, spouses, strippers, trauma

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Castimonia Restoration Ministry, Inc. is a 501c3 non-profit organization


This site is intended for individuals who struggle with maintaining sexual purity. This information is posted for individuals at various stages in their recovery, year 1 to year 30+; what applies to some, may not apply others. Spouses are encouraged to read this blog with the caveat that they may not agree with, understand, or know the reason for some items posted. As always, take what you like and leave the rest.

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