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Sexual Purity Support & Recovery Group

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November 25, 2017 By Castimonia

Boundaries, Self-Control, and the Desire for Revenge

Matthew 5:38–42: “You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’ But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well. If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.”

Many of us have known people who, after years of being passive and compliant, suddenly stop acting like a victim. This reactive phase of boundary creation is a first step to get a person out of the powerless, victimized place in which they may have been forced by physical or sexual abuse, or by emotional blackmail or manipulation. We are happy that they are no longer victims. But when is enough reacting enough?

Reaction phases are not the same as maturity; they are necessary but not sufficient for the establishment of boundaries. Even though in finding our boundaries, we might find ourselves reacting. Eventually, we establish connections as respectful equals. This is the beginning of establishing proactive, instead of reactive, boundaries.

In Matthew 5:38–39, Jesus compared reactive persons to those who are freely and proactively setting their own boundaries. Through his teaching, we see that power is not something we demand or deserve; it is something we express. How does withholding a counterstrike after we’ve been harmed show our power? The ultimate expression of power is love. Proactive people are able to love their neighbors as themselves (see Mark 12:31) and respect others (see 1 Peter 2:17). They are able to die to self (see 1 Peter 2:24) and not repay evil for evil (see Romans 12:17). They have gotten past the reactive stance of the law — “eye for eye, and tooth for tooth” — and are able to love rather than react.

When we truly have the power of self-control, another person’s evil does not mean that we “have to” get revenge. We are free to do something more redemptive and more constructive. In that way, we have power to turn bad situations into good ones and not be dragged down into the mire of bad behavior.

This devotional is drawn from Beyond Boundaries, by Dr. John Townsend

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, Affairs, alcohol, alcoholic, Boundaries, castimonia, Character Defects, christian, co-dependency, Emotions, escorts, father wound, gratification, healing, Intimacy, Jesus Christ, lust, masturbation, porn, pornography, pornstar, pornstars, prostitute, prostitutes, ptsd, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sex partners, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, spouses, strippers, trauma

November 22, 2017 By Castimonia

Children as Young as Five Driven by Porn

Originally posted at: https://thewest.com.au/news/australia/children-as-young-as-five-driven-by-porn

Andrew Tillett | CANBERRA

Sunday, 28 February 2016 8:04PM

Children as young as five are sexually abusing their peers after being exposed to pornography, a Senate inquiry has been told.

In chilling evidence that would shock parents, a leading child development expert has outlined a litany of cases where primary school aged children were coercing classmates into performing sex acts including intercourse.

Professor Freda Briggs has also cited her own work that found fathers were watching online porn with their young sons for “fun” because “that’s what guys do”.

The prevalence of internet pornography — especially how children can stumble on it while innocently doing homework — has alarmed federal MPs.

WA Liberal Senator Chris Back, along with WA Labor counterpart Joe Bullock, has set up a Senate inquiry to look at the harm it is causing children, including sexualising them at a young age.

“What prompted it for me has been the number of people who have contacted me that they have little or no control over what their children are seeing,” Senator Back told The West Australian.

Senator Back said he was keen to explore what could be done to protect children, including seeing whether technological advances had made internet-wide filtering possible.

The Rudd Government had promised to introduce internet filtering to block “refused classification” websites but ran into objections it amounted to censorship and would slow download speeds.

The Abbott Government established an “e-Safety commissioner” to promote online safety for children.

Prof Briggs said in her submission there were growing cases of children acting out on what they had seen and experienced by sexually abusing other kids in schools and child care centres.

“Clearly we are paying too high a price for adults’ rights to view whatever they wish regardless of the consequences for young people and society,” she said.

She accused schools of trying to sweep sexualised behaviour under the carpet and urged a greater focus on child protection in school curriculum.

“The problem is that neither teachers, police nor social workers appear to be trained to take these behaviours seriously and respond appropriately,” she said.

“When staff are inadequately informed, serious incidents such as rape have been dismissed as “boys will be boys”, or it’s “normal sexual experimentation”, when it clearly isn’t.”

A WA Police spokeswoman said child on child sexually abuse was not a trend that had been seen in the State and almost all offenders were adults.

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Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, affair, Affairs, alcoholic, castimonia, christian, co-dependency, Emotions, escorts, father wound, gratification, healing, Intimacy, Jesus Christ, lust, masturbation, porn, pornography, pornstars, ptsd, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, trauma

November 21, 2017 By Castimonia

Men of the Bible – Samson

Samson

His name means: “Little Sun”

His work: To deliver Israel from the Philistines. His character: Samson’s erotic attachments to foreign women eventually led to his death. A man of mythic strength, he was inwardly weak, given to anger and unfaithful to his Nazirite vows. His prayers as well as his actions against the Philistines seem to have been motivated by the desire for personal vengeance. His sorrow: To have been blinded and imprisoned by his lifelong enemies. His triumph: To have killed more Philistines by his death than he had while living. Key Scriptures: Judges 13-16

A Look at the Man

One of the first Bible stories children hear is the story of Samson, the man who defeated his enemies with a superhuman feat of strength. But it is such an unsavory story that we find ourselves leaving out certain details, for example, Samson’s boasting, his visits to prostitutes, or his murderous rage. Even the man’s prayers were selfish, focused as they were on his own desire for revenge rather than on God’s glory.

Why would God, knowing the future, choose such a person to play such a role, even sending an angel to announce his birth? The question is not easily answered. But it is certainly true that Samson would have been a better man had he paid attention to the call God had placed on his life. Instead, he seems to have squandered the promise of his life by living it in a self-centered, self-directed way.

Ironically, the pattern of his life formed a vivid picture of Israel’s own unfaithfulness during a period when it seemed incapable of resisting the allurement of foreign gods. And so the people God had set apart and called his own, the nation he intended to build up and make strong, grew progressively weaker in the land he had promised.

Samson’s story reminds us of God’s faithfulness, of his ability to deliver his people regardless of the circumstances and despite their sins. It also reminds us of what can happen when we allow ourselves to become attached to things and people, however enticing, that might end in our own self-destruction.

Reflect On: Judges 16:23–31 Praise God: For his sovereignty. Offer Thanks: For God’s strength working within you. Confess: Any promises you have made to God and not kept. Ask God: To make you a person who is strong on the inside.

Today’s reading is a brief excerpt from Men of the Bible: A One-Year Devotional Study of Men in Scripture by Ann Spangler and Robert Wolgemuth (Zondervan). © 2010 by Ann Spangler. Used with permission. All rights reserved. Enjoy the complete book by purchasing your own copy at the Bible Gateway Store.

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, Affairs, alcoholic, anonymous sex partners, Bible, call girls, castimonia, Character Defects, christian, co-dependency, Emotions, escorts, father wound, gratification, healing, Intimacy, masturbation, porn, porn star, pornography, pornstar, pornstars, prostitute, prostitutes, ptsd, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sex partners, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, spouses, STD, strippers, trauma

November 20, 2017 By Castimonia

Panda Internet Security Services!

When you just can’t stop looking at porn, Panda Internet Security Service can help!

 

Filed Under: Humor, Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, Affairs, alcoholic, castimonia, Character Defects, christian, Emotions, escorts, father wound, gratification, healing, Intimacy, Jesus Christ, lust, masturbation, porn, pornography, pornstar, pornstars, prostitutes, ptsd, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sex partners, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, spouses, STD, strippers, trauma

November 17, 2017 By Castimonia

Let It Wash Over Us

Healing is more about accepting the pain and finding a way to peacefully co-exist with it. In the sea of life, pain is a tide that will ebb and weave, continually.

We need to learn how to let it wash over us, without drowning in it. Our life doesn’t have to end where the pain begins, but rather, it is where we start to mend. Jaeda DeWalt

You have no power over your past,
but you do over your present.
You have no power over your history,
but you do over your future.
You have no power over your fortune,
but you do over your actions.
You have no power over your reputation,
but you do over your character.
You have no power over destiny,
but you do over yourself.
You have no power over anyone,
but you do over your world.”
Matshona Dhliwayo

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, Affairs, alcoholic, castimonia, Character Defects, christian, co-dependency, Emotions, escorts, father wound, gratification, healing, Intimacy, Jesus Christ, lust, masturbation, porn, pornography, pornstars, prostitutes, ptsd, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual purity, spouses, strippers, trauma

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Castimonia Restoration Ministry, Inc. is a 501c3 non-profit organization


This site is intended for individuals who struggle with maintaining sexual purity. This information is posted for individuals at various stages in their recovery, year 1 to year 30+; what applies to some, may not apply others. Spouses are encouraged to read this blog with the caveat that they may not agree with, understand, or know the reason for some items posted. As always, take what you like and leave the rest.

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