CASTIMONIA

Sexual Purity Support & Recovery Group

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The Stages of Pornography Addiction

Oringally posted at:
http://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/divorce_and_infidelity/pornography_and_virtual_infidelity/stages_of_porn_addiction.aspx

The progression of addiction can lead you to a place you never thought you’d go.

by Gene McConnell, Keith Campbell

Not everyone who sees porn will become addicted to it. Some will just come away with toxic ideas about women, sex, marriage and children. That kind of damage is bad enough. And porn isn’t the only ingredient in addiction. Usually, those who become addicted have some kind of emotional opening that allows the addiction to really take root.

Some of you reading this will become addicted, like I was. The porn companies don’t mind at all if you become completely addicted to their product. It’s great for business. An addicted customer keeps coming back for more. And so they fill their porn with images that will excite you, arouse you and get the hormones flowing. You don’t have to shoot up any drug with a needle to get addicted to porn — your body will make its own drugs just by looking at the pictures. Dr. Victor Cline says that sex and pornography can be a more difficult addiction to break than cocaine.

Five Stages of Addiction
  1. Early exposure. Most guys who get addicted to porn start early. They see the stuff when they are very young, and it gets its foot in the door.
  2. Addiction. Later comes addiction. You keep coming back to porn. It becomes a regular part of your life. You’re hooked. You can’t quit.
  3. Escalation. After a while, escalation begins. You start to look for more and more graphic porn. You start using porn that would have disgusted you when you started. Now it excites you.
  4. Desensitization. Eventually, you start to become numb. Even the most graphic, degrading porn doesn’t excite you anymore. You become desperate to feel the same thrill again but can’t find it.
  5. Acting out sexually. At this point, many men make a dangerous jump and start acting out sexually. They move from the paper and plastic images of porn to the real world.

When I personally got to the “acting out phase,” I started fantasizing about what it would be like to actually rape a woman. I finally tried it one night when I saw a woman who “fit” the scenario that porn had taught me to look for. I was lucky. Very lucky. I didn’t go through with it. After being reported, arrested and spending some time in jail, I finally was able to begin the process of weeding out the lies in my life that porn had put there.

Other men aren’t so lucky. I realize now that with just a little push, I could have gone over the edge. I could have raped that woman and then killed her to cover my tracks. That’s how Ted Bundy got started. When the porn he was addicted to wasn’t enough anymore, he tried the real thing — rape, and then murder. When he succeeded, he did it again. And again. Pornography addiction is very serious. (Click here to watch the Ted Bundy interview with Dr. James Dobson)

Are You Addicted?

Some of you reading this may have already developed an addiction to porn. If you see any of the patterns I’ve described above in your life, you need to put the brakes on right now. Is porn beginning to control your life? You can’t put it down — you keep going back for more? Perhaps you find yourself needing to see increasingly graphic pornography. You’re masturbating more and more often. You’re starting to take risks or act out physically for sexual thrills. If you see yourself at any point on this progression, you are in serious trouble, and you need to realize it — and get help.

Excerpted from the Dare to Dig Deeper booklet “Toxic Porn”, by Gene McConnell and Keith Campbell. Copyright ©1996 Focus on the Family.

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Parakaleo Women’s Support Group – 3/24

I am happy to announce that a trio of leaders have stepped forward to restart the Parakaleo women’s support group.

Parakaleo is a Christian support group for women whose lives have been affected by the sexual behavior of a significant male in their lives.  The group is designed for the female partners of men who struggle with maintaining sexual purity, no matter what the man’s struggle might be.

Date: Monday Nights starting March 24th (TONIGHT)
 Time: 7:00PM – 8:30PM
Location: The Fellowship – Student Building
22765 Westheimer Pkwy Katy, TX  77450

Characteristics of Parakaleo
  1. Parakaleo is primarily a group providing support and comfort to its members through the empathy of others who have had similar experiences.  It is not a therapy or counseling group.
  2. Parakaleo is a Christ-centered program or group, and as such recognizes that Christ is the “highest power”, however any individual of any faith or no faith at all may attend.
  3. Parakaleo meetings are only for women whose lives have been affected by the sexual purity issues of a significant male in their lives.
  4. Parakaleo is a group led by non-professionals; meetings are facilitated by women who have experienced the healing power of Christ in their own lives in the area of dealing with men who act out in compulsive sexual ways.
  5. Parakaleo provides a “safe place” for women dealing with men having sexual purity problems.  Elements of safety include confidentiality, anonymity, and an accepting environment.
  6. Parakaleo meetings provide a place of structure and familiarity where the chaos, confusion, and craziness of living with a male who is acting out sexually can be put aside.
  7. Parakaleo provides opportunities for its members to grow and heal through working through the 12 steps under the guidance of sponsors.

The facilitators of Parakaleo can be contacted at Parakaleo@merimnao.org.  Women who might want to be part of this group are encouraged to contact the facilitator ahead of time with their own personal questions.  You can also visit their website at ParakaleoWomen.org.

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The Best Way

internet-addiction-depressionThe best way to deal with any kind of addiction is to seek the help of a qualified therapist. Neither sex addiction nor porn addiction is considered an official mental disorder, but they are compulsions that can have serious effects on one’s sexuality and can be detrimental to social functioning. Any decent therapist, psychologist or psychiatrist will recognize this and be able to provide you with tools to reduce your dependency on pornography. There is a variety of software available that can filter out certain content from the internet before it gets to your computer. These filters are usually used to prevent explicit content, including pornography, from reaching the innocent eyes of children, but they can have applications for the porn addict too. Of course, it’s easy to disable your own filters, but simply having them in place may provide enough of a deterrent when you’re craving a porn fix. There is also keylogger software that will track every move you make on the internet and even accountability software that will not only track your internet activity, but will also send a weekly report to your “accountability partner” to keep them up to speed on the sites you’re visiting. For most of us, viewing pornography is an occasional guilty pleasure. But for those who are driven to use porn constantly, it can represent a genuine mental, emotional and physical trap. With a combination of therapy, internet filters, affirmations, accountability, and research, it can be overcome.
http://www.askmen.com/dating/love_tip_400/404_love_tip.html

“The priority of any addict is to anesthetize the pain of living to ease the passage of day with some purchased relief.” – Russell Brand

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Lawrence Taylor Jr. Charged With Statutory Rape

Like father, like son….  Men, if you have children, don’t let them grow up to follow in your addiction-filled footsteps.  Do something about it, fight the fight on a daily basis!  If not, your children will grow up to be like you, or marry someone like you.

LTjrLawrence Julius Taylor Jr., the 31-year-old son of Pro Football Hall of Famer Lawrence Taylor, has been arrested in Georgia on felony criminal charges of statutory rape, aggravated child molestation and aggravated sodomy in connection with alleged sexual assaults on two juvenile females, according to police.

The arrest/booking report on the website of the Cobb County Sheriff’s Office says Taylor Jr. was arrested Sunday by police in Power Springs, Ga. He was being held without bond in the Cobb County Adult Detention Center in Marietta, Ga.

In a statement, the Power Springs Police Department said detectives interviewed the two females who made the allegations.

“One juvenile alleged that a sexual assault occurred on (July 6) at Taylor’s Power Springs residence. Another juvenile alleged consensual sexual contact with Taylor in early 2012,” said the police statement.

The Cobb County District Attorney’s Office said the maximum penalties, if convicted, are 25 years to life for aggravated sodomy, 25 years to life for aggravated child molestation and 10-to-20 years for statutory rape.

The son gave the presentation speech in 1999 when his father was inducted into the Hall of Fame in Canton, Ohio.  “If I could pick anybody to be my father, I would pick Lawrence Taylor every time. Me and my father have a good relationship,” he said in his speech.

Lawrence Taylor, now 54, played with the NFL’s New York Giants from 1981-93 and was named to the Pro Bowl 10 times. He helped the Giants win two Super Bowls.

In January of 2011, the father (also named Lawrence Julius Taylor) pleaded guilty in New York to sexual misconduct and patronizing a 16-year-old prostitute. The misdemeanor charges carried no jail time, but Taylor was sentenced to six years’ probation and required to register as a sex offender.

Before the plea deal, Taylor had pleaded not guilty to third-degree rape, patronizing a prostitute, sexual abuse and endangering a child. Taylor had been arrested in May of 2010 for allegedly paying $300 to have sex with a 16-year-old girl at a hotel in suburban New York City. At the time of his plea deal, Taylor said in court the alleged victim told him she was 19.

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Former NFL Star Lawrence Taylor Gets 6 Years Probation for Sex Crime With Minor

Old news, but still relevant.  With all the addictions Lawrence has struggled with, maybe he needs to look into the possibility of having a sexual addiction.  My opinion is that LT should have been thrown in jail for a while.  Maybe then, he would have hit rock bottom and entered recovery.  The names of the victim has been removed in an effort to keep curious addicts from searching her name on the internet…

March 24, 2011
By: Holly Craw

LTWhen Lawrence Taylor was arrested in May, 2010, he was originally charged with felony 3rd degree statutory rape and 3rd degree felony patronization of an underage prostitute. These crimes would have carried a sentence of five years in prison. He pled “not guilty” at the time. When the case was brought to trial in January, 2011, Taylor changed his plea to “guilty” of the lesser crimes of sexual misconduct with a minor and patronizing a prostitute. Both crimes are Class A misdemeanors, one step down from the former charges which are Class E felonies.

The sentence handed down is six years probation and registration as a sex offender, but the sex offender status has not been determined yet.

The 16 year-old girl, ********* ******, who visited Taylor’s hotel room May 6, 2010 was there under orders from her pimp, ******* *****, who has been charged in a separate trial. ****** texted her uncle while enroute to the hotel stating that she was being forced to have sex with a man, and that ***** had already beaten her into compliance. Because of this, police were waiting for ***** when they returned home, after ****** had been paid $300 for a sexual encounter with Taylor, who was also arrested.

Lawrence Taylor, former New York Giants linebacker, has been called “the best ever to play the game (of football)” with 12 trips to the Super Bowl and MVP and Hall of Fame credits, for starters. He has also acted in movies and the TV series, The Sopranos, and had his moments of fame on Dancing with the Stars. One might say he had it all.

Known for his reckless behavior on and off the field, Taylor admits to many run-ins with the law. From cocaine abuse to hit-and-run accidents to “patronizing prostitutes” on more than one other occasion, he was no stranger to a darker side of life. He even hired call-girls to visit the opposing team’s players the night before a big game, “to tire them out”.

********* ****** claims she was a victim. In New York, the law states that a person less than 17 years of age is legally incapable of consenting to sexual intercourse or other sexual contact. These laws are typically known as statutory rape laws. Taylor throws the word “prostitute” back in her face, and excuses his justification for a paid sexual encounter with being on the road for 10 or 11 days, and that she stated she was 19.

****** is a victim in many ways. She is typical of most of the 200,000+ kids who are forced into sex slavery, starting out as runaways who have generally been abused first at home. Somehow, families are often failing their children, making them vulnerable to predators like ***** and Taylor. Somehow, families are often failing their children, giving them grounds to become sexual predators who then blame the victims for their evil deeds. Somehow, the legal system is failing, meting out a few years of probation or at best, a very few years of prison, for the raping and selling of children’s bodies. Somehow, the media is grossly failing, by presenting an unending supply of sexualized programming that makes light of people’s pain and gives permission to use sexuality as a self-gratifying weapon that destroys those in its wake.

Our country is beginning to wake up to these facts, and change is happening. Laws are becoming more strict as a means of deterrence. Victims and survivors of sex trafficking and abuse are getting more compassionate care. Hopefully, we will learn how to address the root causes of rampant child rape and not just focus on the symptoms.