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Trauma and the Brain: Understanding Why a Victim’s Story Might Change

http://purposefullyscarred.com/2015/10/15/trauma-and-the-brain-understanding-why-a-victims-story-might-change/

by Purposefully Scarred

At a recent conference about trauma and the brain’s response to it, Bonnie Martin – a licensed professional counselor who specializes in brain-based therapy, based in the Washington, D.C. area – made this statement regarding survivors of trauma, specifically survivors of abuse who suffer from mental illnesses:

There is nothing wrong with this person. There is something wrong with what happened to this person.

A large percentage of children and adults who have been victims of abuse and/or assault develop a mental illness [or more than one, e.g. depression, anxiety, personality disorders, paranoia, eating disorders, PTSD, etc.] Everyone copes with trauma differently and no one should be shamed for how they have chosen to cope and survive. However, one common theme in victims’ behavior is confusion or an inability to properly remember the events surrounding their assault(s). During the trauma, a victim will enter either “fight, flight, or freeze”. The brain’s activity changes as a way to protect itself. Later, remembering specific details or following a linear chronology as they tell their story can be very hard for many victims.

Because complex trauma and the brain is a fairly new study, the majority of people a victim will come into contact with do not have a proper education on how the brain is affected – in the moment and in the aftermath – by trauma.

A relatively new area of the literature on human response to trauma, particularly the trauma experienced during sexual violence, is that of “tonic immobility.” Defined as self-paralysis, or as the inability to move even when not forcibly restrained, tonic immobility has long been studied in non-human animals as the “freeze” response to extreme stress. Recently, it has been observed in the laboratory as a stress response in humans, as well. This finding explains the reaction of many victims of sexual violence, who report that they felt like they could not escape, even when no weapon was present.

Additionally, due to an entire cascade of hormonal changes, which includes oxytocin and opiates, associated with pain management, adrenaline, commonly associated with “fight or flight,” and cortisol, functional connectivity between different areas of the brain is affected. In particular, this situation affects pathways important for memory formation, which means that an individual can fail to correctly encode and store memories experienced during trauma. While an individual generally will remember the traumatic event itself (unless alcohol or drugs are present in the system), these memories will feel fragmented, and may take time to piece together in a way that makes narrative sense (Kathryn Gigler, source linked above).

It is not uncommon for family, friends, law enforcement, etc. to disbelieve a victim because their story has discrepancies or changes over time. It may appear to them that the victim is lying or merely seeking attention and cannot keep their story straight. In reality, to be simplistic, the brain is working to retrieve data that was potentially temporarily “lost” or suppressed during the trauma and, in the process of remembering and healing, that information will not be clear or linear. Inconsistencies are not lies but evidence that a traumatic experience has occurred.

Behavioral patterns in individuals who have experienced sexual violence mirror those seen in other traumatized populations, like combat veterans. This pattern of symptoms, known as post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD, can include emotional numbness, intrusive memories of the traumatic event, and hyperarousal (increased awareness of one’s surroundings, or constantly being “on guard”).

Research shows that the majority of individuals who experience sexual assault demonstrate at least some of these symptoms of PTSD immediately after the assault and through the two weeks following the assault. Nine months after the assault, 30 percent of individuals still reported this pattern of symptoms. Overall, it is estimated show that nearly one-third of all victims of sexual assault will develop PTSD at some point in their lives (Kathryn Gigler, source linked above).

There is nothing wrong with a victim of sexual or domestic abuse, of rape or sexual exploitation. What was done to them is what is truly wrong. Their reactions and behaviors – however confused or disjointed they may seem – are the body’s natural response to trauma.

For information related to trauma and children’s brain development, read The Amazing Brain.

For more information on PTSD and victimized behaviors:

Why Victims Don’t Report and Why Shaming Them is Detrimental

The Role of Environment and Response in PTSD Recovery

Understanding the Behavior Common to Survivors of Sexual Abuse

Understanding and Identifying Dissociation in Children and Adults

Understanding Post-Trauma Guilty and Shame

Effects of Abuse, various

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My Therapist Takes Great Notes During Our Sessions!

Gary Larson, The Far Side

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The Prodigal Son and the Elder Brother

Their work: These men worked for their father, a wealthy landowner. Their character: Both of the brothers were sinners. One committed the sin of unrighteous living and the other the sin of self-righteousness. Their sorrow: Both men were alienated from their father. Geography separated the prodigal from his father, while pride separated the elder brother. Their triumph: The father’s open arms and homecoming feast welcomed the prodigal. There was no happiness for the elder brother except the misplaced belief that he was better than his wayward sibling. Key Scriptures: Luke 15

A Look at the Men

This biblical account is one of Jesus’ parables, often called “The Story of the Prodigal Son.” But it’s really the story of not one but three men: the prodigal son, the elder brother, and the waiting father. Each plays a critical role in the narrative.

What the younger son asked of his father was unthinkable. Inheritance was paid to a man’s sons upon his death, so in prematurely requesting the birthright from his father, the boy was saying that he wouldn’t care if his father were dead. His rebellion was open and shameless, a public embarrassment for the entire family. And what he did broke his father’s heart.

The older boy was every father’s dream. As an employee, his efforts were productive, his work ethic was flawless. Even his conduct was exemplary—and he did not hesitate to review all of these qualities in his father’s hearing. He had every confidence that his virtuous behavior earned not only his father’s respect and riches but his love as well.

But the elder brother carried a deep grudge. The insolence of his younger brother’s words and the slack in his life ground away at the elder brother’s soul like a millstone. And the special attention the young son drew from the father turned the older son’s grudge into hatred.

As far as the elder brother was concerned, the moment the inheritance payment was made to his sibling, the boy’s days as a member of the family were finished. Now the older son was his father’s only son, and the benefits of his father’s wealth would be exclusively his.

Unfortunately for the elder brother, this was not his father’s disposition. The younger son, even with his inheritance paid in full, was still a member of the family. Neither open defiance nor running away would have any effect on his father’s love for him. This infuriated the elder brother, but his simmering anger was about to be turned into a bubbling cauldron.

The father threw a party. It was bad enough for his absent little brother to keep their father in distress while he was in a faraway land, but to have his father throw a celebration when he returned home was more than the elder brother could bear. In his attempt to punish the father for his grace, he refused to attend the merrymaking, preferring to sulk instead.

In this parable Jesus was declaring all of humankind “sinners,” and he divided them into two groups: prodigals and elder brothers—the unrighteous and the self-righteous. And he underscored the fact that the heavenly Father—the living God—loved both and was willing to forgive both.

Contrition for his blatant sinfulness earned the younger brother full forgiveness and a party in his honor. But the older son’s inability to see his self-righteousness as sin kept him from receiving the forgiveness his father would have freely extended. So he spent the night alone, overhearing the joyous celebration but experiencing none of it himself.

Reflect On: Luke 15:20–31 Praise God: For his mercy. Offer Thanks: For the picture of the waiting father and how it tells us of the loving heavenly Father who is eager to forgive our sins of unrighteousness and self-righteousness. Confess: Any tendency to believe that good deeds earn us a place in the kingdom. Ask God: To change your attitude, to give you a compassion for the lost and to make your obedience to him a response to his love rather than treating it as a way to earn his love.

Today’s reading is a brief excerpt from Men of the Bible: A One-Year Devotional Study of Men in Scripture by Ann Spangler and Robert Wolgemuth (Zondervan). © 2010 by Ann Spangler. Used with permission. All rights reserved. Enjoy the complete book by purchasing your own copy at the Bible Gateway Store. The book’s title must be included when sharing the above content on social media.

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Is Complying the Same as Lying?

1 John 4:18 – ““Fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.””

Many Christians fear that setting and keeping limits signals rebellion or disobedience. In religious circles you’ll often hear statements such as, “Your unwillingness to go along with our program shows an unresponsive heart.” Because of this myth, countless individuals remain trapped in endless activities of no genuine spiritual and emotional value.

The truth is life-changing: a lack of boundaries is often a sign of disobedience. People who have shaky limits are often compliant on the outside, but rebellious and resentful on the inside. They would like to be able to say no, but are afraid. So they cover their fear with a half-hearted yes.

Take Barry for example. He had almost made it to his car after church when Ken caught up with him. Here goes, Barry thought. Maybe I can still get out of this one.

“Barry!” Ken boomed. “Glad I caught you!” The singles class officer in charge of Bible studies, Ken was a dedicated recruiter to the studies he presided over; however, he was often insensitive to the fact that not everyone wanted to attend his meetings.

“So which study can I put you down for, Barry? The one on prophecy, evangelism, or Mark?”

Barry thought desperately to himself. I could say, “None of the above interest me. Don’t call me—I’ll call you.” But he’s a ranking officer in the singles class. He could jeopardize my relationships with others in the group. I wonder which class will be the shortest? “How about the one on prophecy?” Barry guessed. He was wrong.

“Great! We’ll be studying end times for the next eighteen months! See you Monday.” Ken walked off triumphantly.

Let’s take a look at what just happened. Barry avoided saying no to Ken. At first glance, it looks like he made a choice for obedience. He committed himself to a Bible study. That’s a good thing, right? Absolutely.

But take a second look. What were Barry’s motives for not saying no to Ken? What were the thoughts and attitudes of his heart? Fear. Barry was afraid of Ken’s political clout in the singles group. He feared that he would lose other relationships if he disappointed Ken.

Why is this important? Because it illustrates a biblical principle: an internal no nullifies an external yes.

God is more concerned with our hearts than he is with our outward compliance. “For I desire mercy, not sacrifice, and acknowledgment of God rather than burnt offerings” (Hosea 6:6).

In other words, if we say yes to God or anyone else when we really mean no, we move into a position of compliance. And that is the same as lying. Our lips say yes, but our hearts (and often our half-hearted actions) say no. Do you really think Barry will finish out his 18 months with Ken’s Bible study? The odds are that some priority will arise to sabotage Barry’s commitment, and he’ll leave — but without telling Ken the real reason why.

Here’s a good way to look at this myth that boundaries are a sign of disobedience: If we can’t say no, we can’t say yes. Why is this? It has to do with our motivation to obey, to love, or to be responsible. We must always say yes out of a heart of love. When our motive is fear, we love not.

The Bible tells us how to be obedient in 2 Corithians 9:7, “Each of you must give as you have made up your mind, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.”

Look at the first two ways of giving: “reluctantly” and “under compulsion.” They both involve fear—either of a real person or a guilty conscience. These motives can’t exist side by side with love, because “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts our fear” (1 John 4:18). Each of us must give as we have made up our minds. When we are afraid to say no, our yes is compromised.

God has no interest in our obeying out of fear because, “Fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love” (1 John 4:18). God wants a response of love.

Are boundaries a sign of disobedience? They can be. We can say no to good things for wrong reasons. But having a “no” helps us to clarify, to be honest, to tell the truth about our motives; then we can allow God to work in us. This process cannot be accomplished in a fearful heart.

This devotional is drawn from Boundaries, by John Townsend and Henry Cloud.

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Journal Through Recovery Entry 41: The Empty Chair

The empty chair in the middle of our circle awaits the return of those members who are currently suffering the consequences of their addiction …

Part of the script the facilitator reads for each of our 12 step meetings discusses the empty chair in the center of the circle we set up in the middle of the room.  I am sure many of us have been in groups, Bible studies, discussions and meetings that are in a circle. Our circle in our groups is different. We put a chair in the middle. As a reminder.

Its a reminder to me. To where I was just a few months ago. Or more accurately where I wasn’t. I wasn’t in recovery. I wasn’t in a place where I gave God my life and my will. I wasn’t rigorously honest. I wasn’t in community or anywhere else but deep in shame. I was seeking to fill my abandonment and need for fulfillment in any way I could find. Just not in the one way that could stand a chance of meeting my needs.

The empty chair awaits the return of those in prison. I could have been that person. I don’t know how I wasn’t. The times I lied, stole, sought out fulfillment illegally. The near misses. The multiple times I could have been that member.

The empty chair awaits the return of those who are still in search of their rock bottom. I came to these meetings after thinking I was at my rock bottom. Only I wasn’t willing to be completely honest. I hadn’t gotten to that place of desperation where I was willing to turn all of my life and will over to God. Where I knew that death was the only other option. So I was the one. I was still searching for my bottom.

I didn’t know that there were people (specifically my brother and his wife) who were praying for me to be exposed. They knew I wasn’t being honest. They knew I hadn’t bottomed out. My brother is in recovery. He knows what bottom is. He knew I hadn’t gotten there yet. So he continued to do what he knew would work. He prayed for God to expose my lies and my secrets. And that is what happened.

The empty chair is there to remind all present the loss of those whose disease drove them to take their own lives. I could have been that person. And honestly I know that is what awaits me outside of recovery. Whether it is through the overt act of taking my own life or that I separate myself from God, my wife, my kids, and community. Separation and isolation for me leads to death.

Being on the other side of the circle, not being the empty chair, is much different than I thought. I don’t think I know more than people outside of recovery. I don’t think I am a Pharisee and they are a tax collector or thief or adulterer. I just know they are still seeking their bottom. I have found mine. I pray for the people I know that aren’t in recovery that are struggling with all forms of addiction and brokenness and compulsions. I pray they find their bottom. And that when they do, they find what I found. Grace and mercy.