CASTIMONIA

Sexual Purity Support & Recovery Group

Saturday Morning Meeting Topics

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Castimonia Saturday Morning Meeting Topic 6/30/2012 – Video – God’s Chisel

Sometimes we feel pain when God chisels away the bad things in our lives, especially our character defects!

When God chisels the dead weight out of our lives it can be quite painful. In this new high quality, remastered version of their most requested skit, Tommy and Eddie give a very creative look at a typical believer having to go through the process of discipline.

The writer of Ephesians says “For we are God’s workmanship” (Eph. 2:10). Elsewhere we’re described as a “poem.” God views us as being his original masterpiece.

Skit Guys website with remastered video:
http://skitguys.com/videos/item/gods-chisel

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Castimonia Saturday Morning Meeting Topic 06/16/2012 – Psalm 103

This week’s Castimonia meeting topic is that of Psalm 103.  As part of my recovery, I have been reading through the Bible for the past 4 years.  One of the things I have learned is to personalize my Bible readings so that it relates more to me and not all others.  In recovery, I have learned that I tend to think goodness is for others and I am not worthy of God’s grace.  When I personalize passages, it brings God’s word alive in my life.

Psalm 103
Of David. (JLS)

1 Praise the Lord, my soul;
all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
2 Praise the Lord, my soul,
and forget not all his benefits—
3 who forgives all (my) sins
and heals all (my) diseases,
4 who redeems (my) life from the pit
and crowns (me) with love and compassion,
5 who satisfies (my) desires with good things
so that (my) youth is renewed like the eagle’s.

6 The Lord works righteousness
and justice for all the oppressed.

7 He made known his ways to Moses,
his deeds to the people of Israel:
8 The Lord is compassionate and gracious,
slow to anger, abounding in love.
9 He will not always accuse,
nor will he harbor his anger forever;
10 he does not treat (me) as (my) sins deserve
or repay (me) according to (my) iniquities.
11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his love for those who fear him;
12 as far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed (my) transgressions.

13 As a father has compassion on his children,
so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him;
14 for he knows how (I was) formed,
he remembers that (I am) dust.
15 The life of mortals is like grass,
they flourish like a flower of the field;
16 the wind blows over it and it is gone,
and its place remembers it no more.
17 But from everlasting to everlasting
the Lord’s love is with those who fear him,
and his righteousness with (my) children’s children —
18 with those who keep his covenant
and remember to obey his precepts.

19 The Lord has established his throne in heaven,
and his kingdom rules over all.

20 Praise the Lord, you his angels,
you mighty ones who do his bidding,
who obey his word.
21 Praise the Lord, all his heavenly hosts,
you his servants who do his will.
22 Praise the Lord, all his works
everywhere in his dominion.

Praise the Lord, my soul.

As I read Psalm 103, a few points stand out.  In the Psalm written above, I have changed some of the words written by King David to reflect personalization of this Psalm.  As a facilitator and having attended several groups, I and me statements are key in sharing so as to personalize the share.  Therefore, I substituted the words I, My, and Me for the original text, thus personalizing this Psalm. I call it the JLS version.  Truth be told, I believe the NLT version does something similar.  I used the NIV version for this post.

Lines 2, 3, 4, and 5 are some of my favorites.  Beginning with Line 2, I read how I must not forget all the benefits God has and in Line 3, I am reminded that He forgives all my sins and heals all my diseases.  Moving onto Line 4, I read that God redeems my life from the pit and crowns me with love and compassion.  And finally, in Line 5, I am reminded that, in my recovery, I am now satisfied with good, non-addictive things thus renewing my youth.

One focus point for me, personally, is where I read “who redeems (my) life from the pit and crowns (me) with love and compassion.” In my life, and especially in my addiction, I have been in that pit.  I thought I was so far down in the pit that there was no hope for me but to live in the pit the rest of my life.  My addiction went so far down the scale that I now know that no human power could have restored me.  I now know that God redeemed my life from the pit of my addiction and crowned me with love and compassion.  I did not receive what I deserved.  I received love and compassion from those around me, God’s love, because as humans, they could not have shown me love and compassion for what I had done.

The next line, Line 5, is also a nugget of gold in my recovery.  My youth has been renewed because I now satisfied with good things; my God, my family, my recovery, etc…  In my past, I was always trying to be satisfied with the addiction and the next best “high.”  This next best “high” was never achieved, nor could it ever be truly achieved.  I would have continued until I was exhausted and dead and would have never been satisfied.  I was exhausted when I would finish, and then start again.  It was a never ending struggle, completely draining to me.  Now my life is filled with good things, non-exhaustive things that satisfy me.  I always say that my worst day in recovery is still better than my best day in the addiction, this line signifies why!

Take what you like and leave the rest.

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Castimonia Anniversary Celebration – Open Meeting Notice

Gentlemen,

As we celebrate two years of service (June 12, 2010 – June 12, 2012) to our Lord Jesus Christ this Saturday, June 16th, I would like to remind you that this meeting will be an “open meeting.”

An open meeting simply means that there will be men at this meeting who have not openly acknowledged a struggle with maintaining sexual purity or having a sexual addiction.  As we all know, almost every man struggles with some sort of sexual purity issue, however, not every man is required to be open in admitting this issue.  I have invited the church’s pastoral staff and elders to this meeting as well as various therapists from around the Houston area.

I hope the regular attendees to the Saturday morning meeting will make an extra effort to attend this open meeting in celebration of 2 years of service for God in the realm of sexual purity. Please feel free to invite any man you know over the age of 18, even if they say they don’t struggle with sexual purity. Attending an “open” meeting may help them ease into their own recovery rather than thinking they are attending a meeting for sex addicts.

Thank you,

Jorge S.
jorge@castimonia.org

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Castimonia Saturday Morning Meeting Topic 6/09/12 – Working Step 6

Working Step 6

Step 6: We were entirely ready to have God remove our defects of character.
“Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.” (James 4:10)

In working step 6 I need to come to an understanding of God and who He is in my life.  I also need to be able to re-word step 6 as follows: We were entirely ready to have God, not me, remove our defects of character.  In adding those two simple words, I have come to understand that it is God, not me, who will remove my defects of character.  There is nothing I can do to help this other than be entirely ready.

Understanding that there is a difference between wanting and being entirely ready is very important.  In the past, I wanted God to remove my defects of character, but I was not entirely ready.  I had grown up using these defects of character to protect myself, to survive.  Some of these defects of character such as lack of patience, anger, and control helped get me through college and early on into my career as an engineer.  I would use these defects of character to my advantage, not realizing that they would be part of my demise and are at the root of why I would act out constantly with my sexual addiction, my rage, alcohol, or drug use.

In order to understand my acting out behavior, I have to understand that my “malady has roots” and these roots are my character defects.  I can cut down the tree of “sexual addiction” on my life, but if I don’t cut out the roots, then the tree will continue to grow.  Side note, I actually experienced this recently when I tried to cut down a tree in my back yard.  Although, I cut it down, it was still partially connected to the roots, as I had to leave the roots in because they were so deep.  Within a few days, green leaves were growing on what was left of the tree, laying on the ground.  Then, after removing the actual tree, the roots started sprouting new stems with leaves.  With enough time, a new tree would have grown in the old tree’s place.  I finally had to kill the roots in order to ultimately kill the tree.  So too, must we identify and kill these roots, or have our higher power do it.  We have to be entirely ready to have God remove the roots of our addiction, for if we do not, then the “addiction tree” will continue to grow!

When we are entirely ready to have God remove these defects of character, when we have finally had enough of our acting out in various ways, when we have finally said enough is enough, and been truly entirely ready to have God remove negative character traits which use to keep us alive, we can move on to Step 7.

In working this step study, I read from two different books, The Twelve Steps for Christians and the SAA Green Book.

Take what you like and leave the rest.

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Castimonia Saturday Morning Meeting Topic 05-26-2012

This morning’s topic is a “Musical Topic” where I hand out the lyrics to a “recovery-related” song and we all share. This also relates to our work in Step 5. Below are the lyrics and my discussion on the subject:

Born Again
Third Day

Today I found myself
After searching all these years
And the man that I saw, he wasn’t at all who I thought he’d be
I was lost when you found me here
And I was broken beyond repair
Then you came along and you sang your song over me

(Chorus)
It feels like I’m born again
It feels like I’m living
For the very first time
For the very first time
In my life

Make a promise to me now
Reassure my heart somehow
That the love that I feel is so much more real than anything
I’ve a feeling in my soul
And I pray that I’m not wrong
That the life I have now, it is only the beginning

(Chorus)
It feels like I’m breathing
It feels like I’m moving
For the very first time
For the very first time

I wasn’t looking for something that was more
Than what I had yesterday
Then you came to me and you gave to me
Life and a love that I’ve never known
That I’ve never felt before

(Chorus)
It feels like I’m breathing
It feels like I’m moving
For the very first time
I’m living for the first time
In my life

Topic:

The topic for this meeting is to listen to, read, and share about the lyrics to this song.  To me, this song has special meaning.  This album was released in July 2008 and the music from this album became widely popular in late 2008 and early 2009.  Until 2009, I rarely listened to Christian music, as a matter of fact, I had resentment against the genre thinking all these “Christian” artists were just singing to make money and not for God’s glory, but their own.  Funny how things change when one hits rock bottom.  As I entered recovery early in 2009, I recall listening to various songs from Third Day.  I had heard some music from Third Day during my years of addiction, but never paid much attention to the music or the lyrics until Jesus opened my eyes, my heart, and my mind.

After entering recovery, all of a sudden, all these Christian songs made sense!  We all had one thing in common, we all needed God at the center of our lives, I needed God, not my addiction, at the center of my life.  When I heard the song “Born Again” I recall the tears coming from deep within.  The lyrics spoke to me.  After searching all these years, I finally saw the man who I was, in my addiction, and I wasn’t at all who I thought I was.  When I hit rock bottom, that is when Jesus found me, completely and totally broken beyond repair, or so I thought!  And after entering recovery, and trying to live a life of honesty, my life was beginning to feel like I was really living it for the very first time.  Such a huge burden was lifted off of me when I entered recovery.

Then, as the female vocalist sings, the meaning for me was twofold.  First, it is me asking God to help me believe that this feeling of love I have is real and true and that it is only the beginning.  Secondly, as the female sings, I can picture my wife saying these same words, that I promise her that this new love she feels from me and for me is real and true, and that it is just the beginning of something wonderful.

Living a life of recovery, especially after doing a disclosure, is truly liberating and basically a “do-over” in life, not only with our spouses but with all of our loved ones regardless if the marriage, family, or friendship stays intact.  God gives us second (and third, and fourth, and fifth, etc…) chances, so let’s make the best of it.  When we enter a life of recovery, we truly are Born Again!

Take what you like and leave the rest.