This morning’s meeting was a musical topic where we played the song “Worn” by Tenth Avenue North and then shared on the lyrics of the song and how it impacted us. Below are the lyrics and what I shared:
I’m tired
I’m worn
My heart is heavy
From the work it takes to keep on breathing
I’ve made mistakes
I’ve let my hope fail
My soul feels crushed
By the weight of this world
And I know that you can give me rest
So I cry out with all that I have left
Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That you can mend a heart that’s frail and torn
I want to know a song can rise
From the ashes of a broken life
And all that’s dead inside can be reborn
Cause I’m worn
I know I need
To lift my eyes up
But I’m too weak
Life just won’t let up
And I know that You can give me rest
So I cry out with all that I have left
Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That you can mend a heart that’s frail and torn
I want to know a song can rise
From the ashes of a broken life
And all that’s dead inside can be reborn
Cause I’m worn
And my prayers are wearing thin
I’m worn even before the day begins
I’m worn I’ve lost my will to fight
I’m worn so heaven come and flood my eyes
Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That you can mend a heart that’s frail and torn
I want to know a song can rise
From the ashes of a broken life
And all that’s dead inside can be reborn
Yes all that’s dead inside will be reborn
Though I’m worn
Yeah I’m worn
There have been times in my recovery that I have felt worn out. When I first heard this song I was studying for my professional engineering licensing exam and because of the class and study schedule spent countless hours away from my family, church, from meetings, recovery, and was feeling worn out. I was getting up at 4am so I could work out, then staying up past 11pm so I could study, leaving very little time for sleep or family. I heard this song and the words rang true to me. The lines that stood out to me were “And my prayers are wearing thin, I’m worn even before the day begins, I’m worn I’ve lost my will to fight” and those words kept haunting me over and over. That is exactly how I was feeling. Even when the test had passed, I still felt worn out. I didn’t want to do anything, I didn’t want to reach out and help others with the passion I had felt before, I wasn’t only worn, I was burned out in all aspects of my life, including my recovery.
The problem was, I my focus was not correct. I was focusing on those few lines explaining how worn out I was and not focusing on the lines to the true source of my strength, Jesus Christ. “And I know that you can give me rest” and I’m worn so heaven come and flood my eyes, Let me see redemption win, Let me know the struggle ends, That you can mend a heart that’s frail and torn…” So my focus had been a real problem in my recovery. Focusing on myself and my “high bottom problems” and not on the One that help carry my burden!
And for those in recovery that feel this way, all I can say is that it is ok to feel this way. We all can feel this way and like me, the focus must be taken out of self and refocused onto Christ and others. I had to go from inward focus to an outward focus so I could truly feel refreshed and my strength restored.
Take what you like and leave the rest.