An Endless Pattern

I’ve known numerous men who have been in relationships with clingy, needy, overly emotional, jealous, and controlling women. These men are frustrated with what they perceive as their girlfriend’s flaws. They often don’t realize that their own behavior is contributing to the unhealthy relationship and allowing it to persist. When a man stays in a relationships with a clingy, jealous, critical partner, he feels dependent on her approval. Any man with a high level of self-esteem and healthy attitude towards relationships would not tolerate such a relationship. He’d either take action to stop the pattern, or simply leave. Men who get stuck in a codependent relationship, on the other hand, end up pursuing an endless pattern of trying to please their partner, and feeling frustrated when their desire for freedom conflicts with their partners need for rigid conformity to her needy patterns of behavior. Michael S. Freeman

“Don’t smother each other. No one can grow in the shade.” – Leo Buscaglia

  1. reynoldsx4 says:

    Wow Castimonia…I’m honestly shocked that you would post something, so completely one sided. Not only that, but what exactly does this have to do with sexual purity or lack there of? Assuming most men reading this blog are sexual addicts, I feel you have done them and their partners a huge disservice. The reality is, a husbands struggle with sexual addiction, starves his wife of physical, emotional, and spiritual intimacy. Therefore a women who was once strong, independent and confident, often resorts to such behavior as the result of intimacy deprivation.
    If sexual sin were not a part of the above “equation” then sure…run as fast as you can!!
    Thanks for letting me share 🙂

    • Castimonia says:

      I’m sorry you feel that way. The reality is, not all couples in recovery are identical, thus some posts may speak to other couples/men and not to you. Furthermore, codependency runs rampant in sexual addiction (as one of the root causes for the sexual acting out – fear of abandonment). All of these posts are related to sexual addiction based on the topic of codependency. Sexual acting out is just the tip of the iceberg. My purpose is not only to focus on the sexual purity part, but to dig deeper into the thoughts, emotions, and spiritual aspect of recovery.

      As always, take what you like and leave the rest….

      • reynoldsx4 says:

        Thank you for the reply. I do realize this was written by someone else, and I do agree with the issue of co-dependency being a issue with sexual addiction and acting out being the tip of the iceberg. I appreciate your desire to dig deeper into the spiritual aspects as well. Thank you for the clarification, as I’m sure you know there are many wives reading as well. Be blessed! 🙂

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