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Sexual Purity Support & Recovery Group

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sexual impurity

February 5, 2018 By Castimonia

Put The Phone Down

Filed Under: Humor, Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, Affairs, alcoholic, castimonia, Character Defects, christian, co-dependency, Emotions, escorts, father wound, gratification, healing, Intimacy, Jesus Christ, masturbation, porn, pornography, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sex partners, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, spouses, strippers, trauma

February 4, 2018 By Castimonia

Men of the Bible – Solomon

Solomon

His name means: “Peaceable”

His work: The son of King David and Bathsheba, Solomon was the third king of Israel. His character: Known until this day as the wisest man who ever lived. His sorrow: Although he was an extremely intelligent man, later in his life he became disobedient to God and sacrificed everything on the altar of sexual excess. His inability to lead his own children led to the kingdom’s division and ultimate fall. His triumph: Solomon built the kingdom of Israel to its greatest level in material wealth and land. Key Scriptures: 1 Kings 2-5

A Look at the Man

It’s one of the most incredible moments in all of Scripture. The Lord of Israel, the Creator of the universe, makes an offer to a mortal man—Solomon, the son of David and the newly anointed king of Israel. Like the archetypal genie in the bottle, God asks Solomon to make a wish. But Solomon’s historic opportunity becomes his greatest tragedy.

This may be the saddest story in the Bible.

It’s the account of a man who literally had everything. The only thing more difficult to comprehend than his great mind, his enormous wealth, and his enormous power were the prospects of what he could have done with these things. Solomon had the incredible capability to change his world.

But in spite of doing many good things during his lifetime, he actually squandered this potential. Of course he built a name for himself. Go ahead and ask anyone to finish this sentence: “That guy over there has the wisdom of _________.”

What happened to Solomon? The reason for his pathetic failure is actually quite clear. He broke this commandment: “You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God” (Exodus 20:4-5).

Solomon should have known better. In fact, he did know better. As his father, David, was dying, Solomon heard these words. “Observe what the LORD your God requires: Walk in his ways, and keep his decrees and commands, his laws and requirements, as written in the Law of Moses, so that you may prosper in all you do and wherever you go.”

But somehow Solomon believed he could be the exception to the rule, the one man who could break God’s law without suffering the consequences. But God was not going to ignore all the idols and altars he had set up to please his foreign wives, accustomed as they were to worshiping various idols. Because of his infidelity, the kingdom of Israel split apart after his death, with Judah and its capital, Jerusalem, in the south and Israel and its capital, Samaria, in the north.

It was too late for Solomon to discover that a man before God’s throne is judged by what is in his heart. “Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth” (Colossians 3:2 KJV).

Instead of leaving a world-changing legacy, Solomon left us with a graphic lesson in eternal fruitlessness—with no excuses.

Reflect On: 1 Kings 8:56–61; 11:9–13 Praise God: For his constancy. He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. Offer Thanks: That God’s words are consistent with his character. Confess: Any wavering in your devotion to God. Ask God: To help you maintain a course that will daily bring you closer to him.

Today’s reading is a brief excerpt from Men of the Bible: A One-Year Devotional Study of Men in Scripture by Ann Spangler and Robert Wolgemuth (Zondervan). © 2010 by Ann Spangler.

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, Affairs, alcoholic, castimonia, Character Defects, christian, co-dependency, escorts, father wound, gratification, healing, Intimacy, Jesus Christ, lust, masturbation, porn, pornography, pornstar, pornstars, prostitute, prostitutes, ptsd, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sex partners, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, spouses, strippers, trauma

February 1, 2018 By K.LeVeq

Better or Best

From: NotUnknown.com by Keith B.

“Lay down what’s good and find what’s best…” – Johnny Diaz, “Breathe”

A Bible study teacher pointed me to Acts 16 to answer this question: should we choose what is good for our lives, or allow God to show us what is best? Paul and Silas had set out on what Paul chose to do – preach in Asia. Key words here are “Paul chose.” In Acts 16:6, “the Holy Spirit prevented them from preaching the Word in Asia at the time.” God had in mind best, not good. When Paul failed to seek His will, God intervened through the Holy Spirit and prevented them from preaching in Asia.

I settled for what I thought best for most of my life. I didn’t view my decisions as settling. In my pride, I thought I knew best. Through my own brokenness, I believed the only person I could trust had to be me. So many others had failed me or didn’t really want to hear me. Or so I thought. Like Paul, I settled for what I believed good and right. That thinking led me to damaging choices. Damaging to myself and everyone around me.

Paul had a plan. He had his own plan. He chose to follow his plan to Asia, where he wanted. God’s plan differed from Paul’s. The Holy Spirit prevented Paul from stopping in Asia and gave him a dream as prodding to move on elsewhere. Paul listened. He paid attention to God’s direction and changed his plan from good to best. When I plan (I said when…because I can’t help myself), I can become convinced what I want is good and proceed. The question I have to ask, to make sure I have the right plan, is if this is a good thing right now.

Paul understood that his plan didn’t fit right now. A door closed. A window shut. I have moved forward with a job, continued in a relationship, decided to speak up in a way that I thought right; all of these happened after the door closed in my face or the opportunity ended. I charged through anyway, believing in my own judgment and discernment. Paul sought out God’s discernment in what to do next. He listened and asked the simple question: is this a good thing to the Lord?

Paul had a vision of a man from Macedonia calling out for help. Macedonia didn’t fit in Paul’s original plan. My plan for restoration in my marriage and family after my affair became known involved repentance and amends. Nowhere in my plans did full disclosure show up. God revealed to me over and over the necessity for honesty and transparency as the building blocks for healing. I didn’t want to hear that and slipped back into my old life of lies and sexual sin. After the vision of the man calling from Macedonia, Paul immediately obeyed and set sail for Macedonia. He obeyed, answering the simple question: what is the last thing the Lord convicted me to do?

Paul started teaching and preaching in Macedonia. He had few followers. People denounced him, threw him in prison, beat him. He didn’t immediately recognize the results of his obedience. After I finally obeyed, followed through with full disclosure of my years of deception to my wife, our marriage didn’t magically heal. The first few months meant separate rooms, anger, yelling, threats. I knew I had obeyed God, but I wondered why I even bothered. Paul continued and slowly realized the fruits of God’s direction. He reaffirmed his commitment by asking the question: is my effort backed by the hand of the Lord and bearing fruit of the Spirit?

Laying down what’s good and finding what’s best doesn’t come easy for me. My immediate response seems to skew toward what’s the least painful or difficult or what fits my own view. However, I have chosen to seek what’s best in my life. After walking through my third step, and turning my life and will over to the care of God, I find opportunities to seek His direction in how to daily turn my will over to Him. Thanks to Paul, I have a great example of how to find what’s best.

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, affair, Affairs, Character Defects, christian, Emotions, healing, Intimacy, Jesus Christ, purity, recovery, sex addict, sex addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, trauma

January 31, 2018 By Castimonia

Porn Rapes The Mind

Originally posted at: https://refugenortheast.wordpress.com/2016/06/06/porn-rapes-the-mind-2/

by Steven

The other day I was asked to pray for a young child who came across some pornography on the internet. The curiosity lasted about two hours, but that was enough time for the enemy to set the hook. The good thing is the child did tell his parents what he did and so hopefully he will be able to get some help. Porn rapes the mind and will destroy not only an adult but the emotional and mental well being of a child. An addiction to pornography is chemically nearly identical to a heroin addiction. Let that sink in for a little while. A porn addiction is chemically identical to a heroin addiction. The human brain was not designed to handle the major dose of chemicals the brain unleashes when one is viewing pornography. Our biggest sexual organ is our brain, and studies have shown there is damage done to the brain and the brain’s chemistry is altered when one is exposed to pornography. Over time, one will become addicted to their own brain chemistry. Each time the brain receives a major dose of chemicals over time this will lead to future cravings. Dr. Norman Doidge writes in The Brain That Changes Itself, (From the Porn Circuit, by Sam Black) “human beings exhibit an extraordinary degree of sexual plasticity compared with other creatures. By “plasticity” he means that our brains and our sexuality are molded by our experiences, interactions, and other means of learning, which is why people vary in what they say, is attractive or what turns them on. The brain actually creates neural pathways that label a specific type of person or activity as arousing.” Addictions are learned, Sam Black writes, “With porn people have taught their brains that it is arousing.” So what are some of the chemicals that are released when one is viewing pornography? Dopamine, Testosterone, Norepinephrine, and Oxytocin are released.

Dopamine is the “I want it” neurotransmitter. Dopamine helps us to focus our attention on a certain task when this chemical is released it makes us feel good. It is also a major player with our memory; it helps us to recall what is important in our environment and it helps us to remember the appropriate response to a certain stimulus. Testosterone is the “male hormone,” and is dramatically increases during sexual arousal and desire. When the brain picks up on sexual cues, it increases testosterone. Norepinephrine is a neurotransmitter normally associated with stress and the fight-or-flight response. However, it also works as a hormone for sexual arousal and sexual memory, in which it helps brand emotional experiences in our minds. Oxytocin is a bonding hormone and is released during physical touch and at a climax. For those who struggle with porn, this hormone is binding a person to an image, video or situation and not their spouse. Over time, the brain will start to rewire itself for the addiction and will start to create new neuropath ways in the brain. What the brain is doing is creating a super highway for these chemicals, and the body will start to crave these chemicals. So over time, the body will need more and more to get high, so one normally will have to start looking for more extreme porn, or sex acts to get the high they are looking for. This is why the internet is so dangerous; you can never run out of images. For those who struggle with drugs, they are going to eventually run out of their drug of choice and start to come off the high, not the one struggling with porn. They have an unlimited supply of images to keep the high going. Porn will rape one’s mind, and this is why it is so dangerous for children to get hooked at an early age. Parents have to take precautions to protect their children and remember filters cannot block everything out. When parents don’t train their children or protect their children, their little brains are raped and an addiction has started.

 

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, Affairs, alcohol, alcoholic, castimonia, Character Defects, christian, co-dependency, Emotions, escorts, father wound, gratification, healing, Intimacy, Jesus Christ, lust, masturbation, porn, porn star, pornography, pornstar, pornstars, prostitutes, ptsd, purity, rape, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, spouses, STD, strippers, trauma

January 29, 2018 By Castimonia

New 3-Day Intensive Program in San Antonio

I’m pleased to announce the opening of our new San Antonio office. Take 2 Counseling (https://www.take2counseling.com) has just opened and is offering the same treatment model that we offer in Houston and in the Canadian Rockies.

Dr. Chris Gulde and Karen Gulde are two outstanding therapists who bring a wealth of experience and knowledge to this new practice. Both left very successful careers (as a physician and an attorney, respectively) to devote the rest of their lives to helping sex addicts get free, partners heal, and relationships be restored.
Dr. Chris Gulde is a CSAT. Karen Gulde is an ATPBS (Advanced Training in Problematic Sexual Behaviors). Additionally, Karen has received certification in treating partner trauma by APSATS.
Both Chris and Karen are certified in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and have developed a trademarked couples treatment model called R.E.A.L. (Reconnecting with Empathy,
Awareness, and Love) that has been used with couples who have addressed other issues such as addiction and still find it difficult to connect and reestablish intimacy.
Congratulations Chris and Karen on your new practice.
For more information, please visit them at www.https://www.take2counseling.com.
Dr. Magness
   
 Hope & Freedom specializes in Three-Day Intensives for Couples to lead toward the restoration of the relationship. Each Intensive is custom tailored to the needs of the couple. Only one couple will be present and I will personally conduct your Intensive.
For more information and to apply for acceptance in this program…

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, Affairs, alcoholic, anonymous sex partners, castimonia, Character Defects, christian, co-dependency, Emotions, escorts, father wound, gratification, healing, Intimacy, Jesus Christ, lust, masturbation, porn, pornography, pornstar, pornstars, prostitute, prostitutes, ptsd, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, spouses, STD, strippers, trauma

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Castimonia Restoration Ministry, Inc. is a 501c3 non-profit organization


This site is intended for individuals who struggle with maintaining sexual purity. This information is posted for individuals at various stages in their recovery, year 1 to year 30+; what applies to some, may not apply others. Spouses are encouraged to read this blog with the caveat that they may not agree with, understand, or know the reason for some items posted. As always, take what you like and leave the rest.

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