prostitutes

March 9, 2014 By Castimonia

Porn Addiction

Before the internet was ubiquitous in every aspect of our lives, porn addiction was for the creepy lifelong bachelor or the lonely guy with mommy issues. However, now that we depend on the World Wide Web for much of our information and entertainment, the condition is seeping into parts of the population previously unaffected. While porn addiction is not yet listed in the DSM-IV as an official mental disorder like drug or gambling addictions, therapists are starting to take the condition seriously. The criteria for determining whether or not a patient is addicted to porn are much the same as the ones used to identify other addictions, revolving mainly around the dependence on pornography at the expense of other aspects of life. If viewing, reading, watching or thinking about pornography is interfering with your work, your relationship, your family life or your social interactions, it is a problem. Some porn addicts cannot perform sexually without the stimulation of pornography. Porn addiction may be a part of a more extensive sex addiction. It is now easier to get your hands on porn than ever before. A man doesn’t even have to work up the nerve to walk into an adult video store anymore, but can instead in the privacy of his own home simply download to his heart’s content a dizzying array of pornographic content. The internet is definitely the main culprit behind the explosion of porn addiction. A study published in the journal Pediatrics stated that 42% of internet users aged 10 to 17 have been exposed to pornography. By the time these children reach adulthood, pornography can be a pervasive part of their lives and, for some, this can lead to serious problems, such as porn addiction.
http://www.askmen.com/dating/love_tip_400/404_love_tip.html

“The Internet is like alcohol in some sense. It accentuates what you would do anyway. If you want to be a loner, you can be more alone. If you want to connect, it makes it easier to connect.” – Esther Dyson

March 7, 2014 By Castimonia

Having Sexual Conversations with Your Spouse

Originally posted at: http://www.covenanteyes.com/2013/07/02/having-sexual-conversations-with-your-spouse-2/

You know your marriage is strong when you can have sexually oriented conversations with your spouse. Outside of having intimate discussions about what the LORD is doing in your life, there is probably no other kind of marital talk which reveals the true strength of your relationship.

Though we live in a sexually explicit culture where promiscuous thinking and behaving is the norm, many Christian husbands and wives are still intimidated about having biblically motivated, God-centered sex talks.

There are many reasons for this; the main one being our Adam-inherited fear which impacts every sphere of our thinking and behaving. The closer you press toward spiritual or physical intimacy, the more you will be challenged to become vulnerable before others.

And the LORD God commanded the man, saying, “You may surely eat of every tree of the garden, but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die.” – Genesis 2:16-17 (ESV)

The two initial things which went dysfunctional after Adam and Eve sinned in the garden were their relationship with God and their relationship with each other. The LORD told them if they sinned there would be a severing of His protective and sovereign care.

Adam and Eve ignored His warning by sinning anyway and the fear factor kicked in shortly thereafter. This is part of the reason people are intimidated about discussing their relationship with God. We are naturally fearful people.

And he said, “I heard the sound of you in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked, and I hid myself.” – Genesis 3:10 (ESV)

Adam and Eve became afraid of God after they sinned. This fear not only affected the spiritual dynamics of their lives, but it also affected them physically. God became distant and they became sexually confused.

Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked. And they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loincloths. – Genesis 2:7 (ESV)

We’re all born with a sense of shame and guilt. We have this internally awkward awareness which compels us to want to hide from each other as well as from God (Romans 3:10-12). There is a direct correlation between how a person relates to God spiritually and how he relates to his spouse sexually.

The God-influenced man will have a healthy view and practice of sex (1 Corinthians 7:1-5). The same goes for his wife. The Godless man or woman will have an unbiblical view and practice of sex.

Your view, attitude, and practice of sexuality is proportional to your view, attitude, and walk with the LORD. Adam and Eve broke their relationship with God, which spun them into sexual confusion.

This makes sense because God is the author of sex. He made Adam and Eve for the enjoyment of each other (Genesis 2:24-25). Sex was God’s idea. It was not until sin entered the world that our thinking on such things became chaotic.

Perfect sex

A discussion on sex can go in many different directions. For this article I want to highlight two areas where sin can easily break a husband and wife down while keeping them from being naked and unashamed with each other.

1. Sin will keep a man from talking about his sexual temptations.

2. Sin will tempt a woman to be offended by his sexual temptations.

Because of these two realities in most marriages, couples are never able to openly and humbly discuss how sin is captivating them, to the point of keeping sexually oriented secrets from each other.

The husband can be tempted and the woman can be insecure and offended by his temptations. That’s a formula for secret-keeping, anger, sexual frustration, communication breakdowns, bitterness, unforgiveness, and resentment.

I’m sure you can add a few more biblical labels to the mix, but you get the idea. If a husband and wife do not fight for biblical sexual discussions, they will never be able to completely realize the fullness of the marriage God offers them.

Sex is a deeply spiritual moment for two people who love God and love each other (Matthew 22:36-40). When omnipresent God is ruling the heart of a man and a woman, who are physically intimate, they are enjoying the most profound human communal experience possible.

Think about the sexual relationship between Adam and Eve before Genesis 3:1-7. It was God, man, and woman, with no sin to interrupt their thoughts or actions. It is hard to grasp such things.

The good news for us is that because of the power of the Gospel, the freedom of forgiveness, and the enablement of the Spirit, we can come to a close approximation of the physical intimacy Adam and Eve enjoyed before sin.

Men are tempted

Before a couple can come to this kind of close approximation to physical intimacy, they must deal with the reality of sin. Sin should never be ignored, it is real and it is divisive.

When it comes to sex, there are two competing interests vying for the mind of a man: (1) He was wired to enjoy sex and (2) sin attempts to distort his attitude toward sex.

This simply means a man must be honest about how sexual realities play out in his mind. It also means his wife must have the grace to provide a context for him to share his true thoughts about sexual temptations.

(I’m getting ahead of myself on this second point. More on that later.) I do not know the percentage of men who have not masturbated. I’m confident the percentage of adult males who have not is low.

This is just one way we have been sinfully affected when it comes to sex. Can we be honest about our sexual temptations? If you can’t be honest, then sin, shame, and guilt will be the controlling factors of your heart. God will not have first place in your heart.

This was Adam and Eve’s problem after they sinned. God was no longer the governing and motivating power behind their actions. Sin ruled their hearts, which overly exposed their nakedness and shame.

The first thing a man must do to counteract his weirdness about having a sexual discussion with his wife is to fix whatever is broken in his relationship with God. Sexual conversations originate from the heart, not the lip.

If a man’s heart is not right with God, then the kind of speech he has with his wife will not be right (Luke 6:45). People miss this important step. If they ever get the gumption to share their temptations with their wives, they usually do so before spending adequate time with the LORD.

Our hearts must be calibrated by God before we start talking about our sexual temptations with our wives. Keeping in step with the Spirit means being like-minded with the Spirit on sexual things.

If the Spirit is illuminating and guiding your sexual speech, then you should be equipped to engage your wife with the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control when you talk to your spouse (Galatians 5:22-23).

Women are insecure

All relationships are about giving and receiving. I have addressed the heart of the speech giver when it comes to talking about his struggles and temptations regarding sex.

It is just as incumbent on the speech receiver to have a right relationship with God so she can hear from the LORD as she hears from her husband. One of the cool things about the Gospel is how it creates an environment where we can be honest.

This is one of the many things we like about God. We know He will not judge or condemn us when we bare our souls to Him. This was why the Psalmist could boldly inquire of the LORD,

Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting! – Psalm 139:23-24 (ESV)

Wow! How bold is that? How emboldening is that? God gives us amazing confidence to be honest with Him. We know He is grace-filled enough to steward our problems. How releasing.

Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. – Ephesians 5:1 (ESV)

This begs a question for wives: How are you imitating God as far as creating a context for your husband to be honest with you? This does not mean he will be honest. That is not the question or the concern right now (Romans 12:18).

If you are not able to provide this kind of God-centered confidence for your husband to be weak and vulnerable, then you must do similarly to your husband: the next step is you must repair your relationship with the LORD.

Insecurity is fear. Adam and Eve were insecure because their relationship with God was broken. Our fear and insecurity is proportional to the strength of our relationship with the LORD.

The God-empowered, God-centered, and God-motivated woman is standing on the strength of the LORD’s perfection and cannot be overcome by her husband’s imperfections.

Your husband’s temptations and sins will reveal what your relationship with the LORD is really like and it will also reveal your most important desire. If you’ve placed more hope in your husband’s goodness than the LORD’s goodness, then you will only be as strong as your husband’s ability to meet your expectations.

If you’ve placed your primary hope in God, then your strength will be controlled by other-worldly factors. This will empower you to be a means of restorative grace to your husband.

Making it practical

Perhaps you’re not able to have these types of sexual conversations with your spouse. I realize there can be many complicating reasons for this. If you’re not able to enter into biblically centered sexual discussions, then the first place to begin is with prayer.

Ask the LORD to do a mighty work of grace in your heart (Proverbs 21:1). He is willing to do such things for the humble person (James 4:6). Lay out your soul before Him, asking Him to do that thing He does so well–providing grace.

Maybe your spouse will never change, but his/her change should never interfere with how the grace of God operates in your life. Be daring. Ask Him to search your heart and if He reveals an evil way in you, simply repent. Be free from sin.

Then begin to make plans to enter into a discussion with your spouse. Approach your spouse with grace and courage. Be like Adam and Eve when sin was not present with them. You can do this if you have removed your sin through the grace-effective means of repentance.

If your spouse is not interested in going farther with you, then be at peace. Be released from the temptation of a bad attitude toward your spouse. You’ve done what you can do. Maybe there will be another time and another season for you to re-enter this discussion.

If your spouse is not interested in going farther with you, then ask the Father to bring a friend of the same-sex into your life to provide encouragement and care for you regarding how you think about sex.

Caveat – This kind of care from a friend should never be about your spouse’s faults or failures. Your communication should be about you and the LORD. Don’t slander or devalue your spouse before others.

If your spouse is interested in going farther with you and your heart has been adjusted by the LORD, then by all means, begin talking to your spouse. Use discernment, wisdom, and grace when you begin sharing your heart.

Typically in situations like this, the other spouse has not spent the same amount of time in prayer and reflection regarding these things. You may be days or even weeks ahead of your spouse in your thoughts about sex and marriage. Don’t assume yours and your spouse’s thoughts are similar.

Be measured, but courageous. Lead your spouse. If you’re the wife, you should still lead your spouse. My wife is my number one discipler. She leads me well and I praise God for the things He has given her, which she has shared to me.

About Rick Thomas

Rick Thomas is the Founder and President of The Counseling Solutions Group, Inc. in upstate South Carolina. Rick has a BA in Theology, a BS in Education, and an MA in Counseling from The Master’s Seminary. In 2006 he became a Fellow with the National Association of Nouthetic Counselors, for whom he now supervises potential counselor candidates. Along with his counselor training he is a Professional Counselor and Personal Coach. Rick primarily blogs at Counseling Solutions.

March 5, 2014 By Castimonia

5 Porn Stats Most Parents Don’t Know…But Should

Posted on July 3, 2013 by Kristen Jenson

We know it’s out there. We know it’s harmful. We just may not realize how prevalent it is. Here are a few numbers every parent needs to know:

90% of internet porn is FREE. A study in 2010 led by Gilbert Wondracek, a computer security expert from the International Secure System Lab, examined a total of 35,000 pornographic domains and found that 90% were free. As reported on DailyTech, these free sites are given content from paid porn sites in order to drum up business. Kids can easily find free porn and plenty of it.

30% of all internet bandwidth is used for pornography. It might actually be worse than that. A software security service company called Optenet did a study looking at 4 million URL’s and approximately 37% contained pornographic content.

11 is the average age children are exposed to pornography, according to the PornHarms website. As more and more kids get smartphones at earlier ages, that age will get younger.

90% of porn depicts violence against women. A study which looked at 50 popular pornographic websites and DVD’s found that 90% of all content included verbal or physical abuse against women.

The violence of internet pornography is documented in a recent article in the Guardian:

Rape Crisis South London carried out simple research that involved typing “rape porn” into Google and then quantified the results: 86% of sites that came up advertised videos depicting the rape of under-18s, 75% involved guns or knives, 43% showed the woman drugged, and 46% purported to be incest rape.

Nearly 80% of unwanted exposure to pornography takes place in the home. This is a frightening statistic. But it’s also empowering because you have a lot of control over what happens with your kids in your own home. Start with an internet filter, and then establish family media standards with your kids. Get them on board at a young age and they’ll be much better protected as teens.

Any child is just 3 clicks or swipes away from violent, degrading sexual content. Carole Cadwalladr, a British journalist put it this way, after describing her experience of Googling “rape porn” and viewing both simulated and actual rape scenes online:

“Rape porn”, and then two clicks of the mouse, and that’s what’s there. It’s not skulking in some dark recess of the internet, it’s a dropdown box on one the most popular porn sites in the world, but my experience – of not knowing, and not really wanting to know – is not unusual. There’s a collective, willed ignorance of porn.

The nature of it, the accessibility of it, the preponderance of it has changed so fast that a lot of people simply haven’t kept up. Huge numbers of us, including most of the mainstream press, have drawn a polite veil over the subject, except at a largely theoretical level.

For our kids’ sakes, let’s get ourselves educated about what’s out there…because our kids will find out one way or another. Have you talked to your kids about pornography? If not, what’s holding you back? I’d like to write a post about blocks parents have to overcome in discussing this topic with their kids, and you could help me! Please leave a comment! Thanks!

March 4, 2014 By Castimonia

Parakaleo Women’s Support Group – 3/24

I am happy to announce that a trio of leaders have stepped forward to restart the Parakaleo women’s support group.

Parakaleo is a Christian support group for women whose lives have been affected by the sexual behavior of a significant male in their lives. The group is designed for the female partners of men who struggle with maintaining sexual purity, no matter what the man’s struggle might be.

Date: Monday Nights starting March 24th
Time: 7:00PM – 8:30PM
Location: The Fellowship at Cinco Ranch – Student Building
22765 Westheimer Pkwy
Katy, TX 77450

Characteristics of Parakaleo

Parakaleo is primarily a group providing support and comfort to its members through the empathy of others who have had similar experiences. It is not a therapy or counseling group.
Parakaleo is a Christ-centered program or group, and as such recognizes that Christ is the “highest power”, however any individual of any faith or no faith at all may attend.
Parakaleo meetings are only for women whose lives have been affected by the sexual purity issues of a significant male in their lives.
Parakaleo is a group led by non-professionals; meetings are facilitated by women who have experienced the healing power of Christ in their own lives in the area of dealing with men who act out in compulsive sexual ways.
Parakaleo provides a “safe place” for women dealing with men having sexual purity problems. Elements of safety include confidentiality, anonymity, and an accepting environment.
Parakaleo meetings provide a place of structure and familiarity where the chaos, confusion, and craziness of living with a male who is acting out sexually can be put aside.
Parakaleo provides opportunities for its members to grow and heal through working through the 12 steps under the guidance of sponsors.

The facilitators of Parakaleo can be contacted at Parakaleo@merimnao.org. Women who might want to be part of this group are encouraged to contact the facilitator ahead of time with their own personal questions.

March 3, 2014 By Castimonia

Dr. Benjamin Carson: Same-Sex Marriage and the correlation between Homosexuality, Pedophilia, and Bestiality

Some of the views posted in this article are not those of the leaders of Castimonia, but of the original writer. As always, take what you like and leave the rest.

Posted on April 11, 2013 by Ressurrection

As a professional, Dr. Carson understands that he is the Director of Neurosurgery alongside pedophile professionals who are seeking to through academia justify and re-categorize pedophilia so that it is seen with the same tolerance and acceptance as homosexuality. This movement did not began today.

Johns Hopkins University held a conference last year for a group of homosexual-pedophile professionals who are working diligently to change the definition of pedophilia from a mental disorder by the American Psychological Association, within its Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders to a sexual orientation like homosexuality.

In 1973, when the same thing happened to homosexuality, there was only one defining piece of information that led to the change of homosexuality from a mental disorder to a sexual orientation, and that was the “Kinsey Report”. The “Kinsey Report” as it is affectionately called is a book that was put out by Alfred Kinsey who was a Satanist, a homosexual-pedophile, sadomasochist, who believed in having sex with same-sex, animals, and children.

His influence has started movements in the homosexual (Harry Hay) and pornography (Hugh Hefner) communities. The next stop you ask? Legalizing sex with children. Bestiality will follow. There’s one problem with the Kinsey system (other than the obvious), he lied. Dr. Judith Reisman has spent her entire professional career proving this to be true.

He interviewed pedophiles and people who were already in jail, and passed off their stories and submissions as research within the communities of stable, white suburban households of women who would have never done the things that he professed in his book. He launched an entire movement because people thought that their neighbors told Kinsey something that they weren’t telling each other.

So when Dr. Benjamin Carson who is the Director of Pediatric Neurosurgery at Johns Hopkins Hospital makes statements about his personal views regarding the correlation between homosexuality, pedophilia and bestiality it is important that we seek out the information that he may be unable to say in his public comments. In that respect I will offer them here from both a professional and biblical standpoint.

The pro-pedophile agenda is pushed by Dr. Fred S. Berlin and Dr. Finkelhor who are both respected in their professions, which can be very misleading to the masses. Education has become a bully and a determinant of who knows best. Dr. Fred S. Berlin is the associate professor of the Sexual Behavior Consultation Unit within the Psychiatry and Behavioral Science Department at John Hopkins University.

Dr. Berlin, founder of the Johns Hopkins Sexual Disorders Clinic, specializes in the evaluation and treatment of patients with sexual disorders, such as pedophilia, voyeurism, and exhibitionism, according to John Hopkins’ website.

In my personal opinion, anyone who supports the idea that pedophilia should be legalized is either a pedophile or some kind of sexual predator or child molester. Dr. Berlin, is closely tied to groups like B4-U-Act, an organization very similar to NAMBLA who is seeking to legalize sex with children.

Dr. Carson accepted a request for my daughter’s class many years ago. She was mesmerized by his humble nature, his level of success and his outright disclosure that he is a Christian. It is a defining moment in her youth.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m-HrSqewI34

and

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bbBib1HmLNY

As Dr. Carson said in his video response about his personal views on homosexuality, pedophilia and bestiality all-inclusive, his beliefs about same-sex marriage have been that way for 20 years. Today however, the media launches full-out attacks on people, making assumptions about their entire view. And, people are being conditioned to do the same.

As a Christian, it is believed that God sees homosexuality, pedophilia and bestiality as sexual perversion. And in my research I find individuals who worship Satan as the leadership of sexually perverted movements like Aleister Crowley and Alfred Kinsey.

After viewing the entire Penn State Child Sexual Abuse Conference, which was put together as an action to resolve the Sandusky case from a societal perspective I was alarmed and baffled by some of Dr. David Finkelhor’s beliefs about relaxing the laws concerning pedophiles.

Finkelhor spoke at John’s Hopkins for that conference last year and was slated to be the keynote speaker this year before it was cancelled after all the media attention to John Hopkins University because of Dr. Carson’s statements.

Dr. Carson’s comments were that of his belief system. The core of who we all are reflect what we believe. All of the choices we make, who we vote for or against, and what we stand up for or remain silent on have to do with what we believe. This should never be bullied by opposing views and I appreciate Dr. Carson’s unshakable demeanor concerning those who would seek to delegitimize his success because his thoughts are not supported by popular demand.

He was not choosing to create a political platform, rather to express his beliefs in a way that would create dialogue to rising issues like movements which promote pedophilia. As Dr. Carson said, homosexuality and pedophilia are not the same in that, children are unable to consent.

The ACLU defends pedophilia, but that’s another story. There are groups of people in white coats, suits and ties with Dr. in front of or acronyms placed behind their name leading unsuspecting individuals without those credentials to believe that the lawyers, judges, politicians, and educators know what is best.

I believe that God has always known what is best, and it is important that we understand what God-intimacy is, so that we can identify the movements that seek to change definitions and force agreement upon us that would harm our children and families.

Dr. Carson is entitled to his views without being bullied or called childish names. I encourage black liberals not to make this about Affirmative Action or racially motivated stances but to see the real issue – that Dr. Carson is working alongside some of the people we should be protesting but he is not one of them.

In conclusion, from a biblical perspective there is a correlation between what Dr. Benjamin Carson said about homosexuality, pedophilia and bestiality. However from a completely NON-BIBLICAL perspective there is a correlation between what he said as well. The movement that I write about is being conducted through the disguise of “science and research” and THEY – NOT ME – are saying that normalizing homosexuality allows them to do the same with pedophilia. I am the messenger – don’t shoot me just wake up! – Thank you. – Ressurrection Graves

Ressurrection Graves is a child sexual abuse grooming expert who has authored a petition to make it a felony. She writes, speaks and educates the masses on protecting children and healing as adults from past child sexual abuse.